Calling You
by HHB-733
Summary: Agent Mike Weston is getting sick of Ryan Hardy giving him and the FBI the run around, especially after the team they used to be. In his frustration, he reaches out to his friend to balance out everything that's been happening.
1. Chapter 1

"How's work going?" Hannah asked cheerfully.

Mike shrugged, not having touched his coffee. "Would be going a lot better if a certain someone cooperated."

Hannah sighed. "You know this stuff is hard on him. He blames himself for every death, especially Debra and Claire's. To a certain degree, it makes sense that he doesn't want to admit he's actively still pursuing it."

Mike looked at her as she sipped her tea. He expected a look of apology but she sat waiting for his response. She wouldn't back down from saying it.

He'd told her bits and pieces about the case and about Ryan and the rest she put together herself. She knew when she met him that he was involved in the Joe Carroll case.

Mike considered changing the subject, not ready to get into what he thought of Ryan's behavior and also not wanting to release details about the case. It wouldn't be professional and he didn't want to burden her with the details. He knew how quickly knowing about the case and the situation could take its toll on a person.

Mike smiled. "Yeah, you're right. He's earned his crazy, that's for sure. Can't hold it against him."

Hannah shrugged. "Agreed, but he should still be helping you. You were a team and even though he's moved on differently, he should still honor that. Unless he resents you for moving on and staying with the FBI and handling it better than him."

Mike hadn't thought of that. He knew he was pissed at Ryan for how everything happened, for shutting him out, for leaving the bureau, and for keeping everything from him now. He hadn't realized that Ryan might have animosity towards him as well.

He wasn't ready to admit that she was right… or even look into his and Ryan's relationship any more than he had in the past few weeks. That man infuriated him.

"Well," Mike admitted, "He did finally give me something… but hell, I don't know if I even believe it."

Mike sat back from the table, arms crossed over his chest. He refused to believe that Joe Carroll was alive. It'd mean that he'd made a mistake and he'd missed it himself. After hearing Ryan's theory, however, they thought had begun to have merit.

"Why did he tell you finally?" Hannah asked, curious.

Mike swallowed hard. "I broke into his apartment and found his safe room. I knew he was holding out on us. You should've seen it… It was covered in all things Joe Carroll. He'd been tracking them and researching ever since he was released from the hospital. He knew things the bureau didn't know and still didn't tell us. I confronted him and he gave me his theory."

Hannah's eyes widened. "You broke into his apartment?"

Mike took a deep breath. "Anyways, he may start working with me if I agree to keep it from Agent Mendez. She hates him more than I do."

Hannah's face softened, almost smiling. "You don't hate him, Mike."

He started to argue but she was right. He really didn't hate Ryan; he was just frustrated as hell with him.

"Do you still want me to come in to your class next week?" he asked, changing the subject.

"You don't have to," she shrugged, "I know you're terribly busy."

Mike wished that wasn't true. He'd made promises to her to come and speak to her class for two years and work had always made him cancel in the last minute. He'd set up this visit before the subway attack and he hadn't had the heart to cancel on her again.

He met her when she moved into the building and, ever the gentleman, helped her unpack into the apartment above him. Being the youngest in his unit, he knew what it was like to be in a new place.

He learned that she was 26, a teacher, and hated eggs. She learned that he had three brothers and only liked one of them.

After living in the building for three months, she finally returned his borrowed screwdriver and he invited her to get a drink just to be polite. She'd declined because it was a school night and had papers to grade but took him up on his offer later on in the week.

Since then, they met for coffee, sometimes breakfast, watched hockey games, and drank to forget hard days.

When he was released from the hospital after being beaten by Roderick and Charlie Mead, his doctor suggested that he should stay with relatives and wanted someone to keep an eye on him. It'd been Hannah that he'd gone to.

She slept on his couch for a week, making sure he was still breathing and still woke up every morning. He'd found strands of long brown hair everywhere, on the couch, on the floor, even on the counter, but he'd been happy she'd stayed to look after him.

She'd even had dinners ready for him when he got home. Once he got the release to go back to work full time, the dinners had stopped. She never knew when he'd be home and he only saw her if he called or showed up at her door.

It'd been a while since they'd seen each other and in his frustration with Ryan, he called to meet up with her.

"I'll try to make it," Mike offered.

Hannah smiled, already knowing that he wouldn't.

"Let me know what happens with Ryan," Hannah suggested, "And let's not wait so long to meet up again."

Mike smiled, "You got it."

Hannah got up, taking her tea with her, touching Mike's shoulder as she left the coffee shop.

Mike watched her leave over his shoulder, her long, wavy brown hair shining in the sun and he waited for her to turn to wave at him. She didn't and he resolved to see her again sooner.

As he looked back to his coffee, he was already annoyed. He knew he'd have to deal with Ryan's bad behavior when he got into the office. Mendez would eat him alive if she knew that Mike had known about Ryan's hunch and plans. But he knew that Ryan was right… everything that the FBI knew, Ryan had known with them. He had more sources and more information and Mike would be damned if he let Ryan continue this charade of ostracizing the FBI.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that night, Hannah was in the kitchen putting leftovers away when there was a knock on her door. She frowned, checking her watch. It was 9:30... it definitely wasn't someone delivering a package…

She put the Tupperware in the fridge and dried her hands off when the knock came again. She tossed the dishtowel on the counter and tucked her hair behind her ear as she approached the door.

If she'd had a peephole, she would have checked it, but she didn't, mentally reminding herself to get one when she was out this weekend.

She opened the door to find Mike with his hand up in mid knock. He looked embarrassed, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Hi," he said seriously, "Can I come in for a minute?"

She frowned. He hadn't asked to come in before.

"Sure," she said carefully, stepping behind the door to let him in.

He came in briskly, eyes sweeping her apartment. He'd never been there before and it was an unhealthy habit of his to sweep any new place and look for doors and exits. Instead, he saw a normal apartment: couch, TV, kitchen. It looked lived in and cozy: pillows and a throw on the couch, coasters and a book on the coffee table, and shelves on the wall with little herb pots. His apartment just below looked absolutely nothing like this. His apartment was hardly lived in as he was never home.

"So… what's up?" Hannah asked carefully. Mike had never come to her apartment this late, save for the time she had to stay with him after nearly being killed.

Mike turned, his thoughts broken. He started to take off his jacket when Hannah held her hand out for it.

It caught him off guard. He was used to putting his own coat up or throwing it on the back of his couch.

She took it, watching him carefully, and hung it behind her door.

"Well?" she asked again, turning back to him, "What's up?"

Mike sat down on the arm of her couch, crossing his arms in front of him, his blue long sleeved Henley wrinkling.

"Ryan's niece is helping him with everything. She's in the NYPD computer crimes unit…" Mike explained, looking straight at her, "She's been helping him and covering her tracks."

Hannah didn't know what to say. What could she say? Until this morning, she didn't know to what extent Mike was involved in this case.

"And?" she pressed.

Mike sighed exasperated. He stood up, turning towards her window.

"I confronted her and told her to stop. I told her that by helping him, she was going to help him kill himself," he said, glancing into Hannah's kitchen.

"Yikes," Hannah said, "I bet she didn't take that too well."

Mike turned, angry. "No shit."

Hannah frowned. "Hey, you came here, remember?"

Mike stiffened, taking a deep breath in. "Anyways, she told me to leave and got pissed that I said that. She's going to get them killed."

"She's trying to help him," Hannah said, offering to let go of the fact that Mike snapped at her, "She thinks it'll bring her closer to him and that it'll help him move on."

Mike rolled his eyes. "It's stupid. She's enabling him. He needs a reality check. You'd think he would've gotten that after he realized that Lily Grey was in on it and that he almost let her get to him."

Hannah cocked her head. "The lady on the news that killed two agents and escaped? They said she had no prior history."

Mike shrugged. "Somehow she doesn't, but this isn't the first time she's done something like this. She's a follower and with whoever staged the subway murders. She was getting to Ryan and he almost let her. He's too unbalanced for this and he's trying to do it alone. He's going to get himself killed."

It was Hannah's turn to shrug. She started towards the kitchen, leaving Mike in the living room. She opened the fridge and took out a beer and the leftovers she just put away.

"I'm so mad at him," Mike continued from the living room, "It's one thing to get your own self nearly killed but to involve your niece? It's outrageous. What are you doing?"

Hannah popped the leftovers into the microwave, setting the timer. "Heating you up some dinner. I know you didn't have any."

Mike came into the kitchen, defensively. "I'm not hungry."

Hannah took the plate out of the microwave as it dinged. "You're never hungry but you need to eat."

She set down the beer in front of a seat at her breakfast bar.

"Sit down," she directed, turning to handle the plate.

Mike stiffened. He didn't like being told what to do and since getting the run around from Ryan, he was sick of not having control.

"Come on, Mike," Hannah said carefully, setting down the plate, "You know I'm just looking out for you."

He started to open his mouth to argue but then realize that he may as well just give in. It was stupid to argue when someone was right. He wished Ryan Hardy saw it that way, though.

Mike sat down at the barstool as Hannah gave him a fork and put the rest of the leftovers back in the fridge.

"So," Hannah said, turning towards Mike as he took a sip of his beer, "Are you going to arrest Ryan's niece for her involvement?"

Mike shook his head, mouth full of chicken, cheese, and yellow rice that she'd heated up for him. "We can't. She's erased all evidence and she's never showed up at the scene like Ryan."

"Hmm," Hannah mused, "But you know she's involved for sure?"

Mike nodded, taking another swig of his beer. "There's no way Ryan could have shown up at some of the scenes without inside knowledge. She led him to each point and she researched every lead he had. She's going to be physically involved soon, though. Ryan's behavior is escalating. Hers will, too."

Hannah shook her head. "For losing so many people close to him, you'd think he'd want her as far from this as possible."

Mike agreed, nodding. "I think she pressured him into letting her help him. She never knew her dad. I think she wanted him in her life and didn't know how to get him involved. She certainly found a way."

"You're going to make sure nothing happens to them, right?" Hannah asked carefully, knowing Mike wouldn't like his answer.

"Yeah," he said reluctantly, "I'm trying to help them but they don't even want to help themselves."

Hannah smiled. "Thanks for not fighting me on making you dinner."

Mike chuckled. "Point taken. I get the whole helping yourself reference. And for the record, this isn't making me dinner… this is reheating me dinner. You haven't made me dinner since last year."

Hannah laughed. "You haven't asked me to make you dinner since last year!"

Mike smirked. "Maybe I'll have you make me dinner soon, then."

She smiled. "Let me know when you want it."

"I sure will," he winked, eying Hannah.

She rolled her eyes, not able to hold in her smile. She took his plate and put it in the sink, running the water.

He sipped his beer as she washed his plate. He'd never been in her apartment before and now she'd made him dinner. He was used to eating her dinners while laying in bed and recovering.

Something about siting in her kitchen, drinking a beer, and watching her wash dishes felt warm. He felt comfortable and easy. He watched as her hair fell into her eyes and over her shoulder as she set the plate in the strainer, drying her hands with the towel.

When she looked up at him with warm eyes, smiling, he was felt far more relaxed than he had been when he knocked on her door earlier.


	3. Chapter 3

"Here," Hannah said as Mike draped his coat over his arm. He turned from the door to look at her.

She held out three Tupperware's of food to him.

"What's this?" he asked, taking it from her and eyeing it carefully.

"Dinner for you for the next couple of days. I know you'll either get something greasy on the way home or go to bed with an empty stomach," Hannah explained, "More than likely, you just won't eat at all."

Mike smirked. She was right on the dot. He usually never ate if he was deep in a case. His mind preoccupied him too much to let him feel hunger, but he knew it was better not to argue with her.

"And you'd better eat it," she insisted, "I have a key to your place. I'll go make sure you're eating!"

Mike laughed. "You still have my key?"

Hannah shrugged. "Never know when I'll need it."

Mike scratched the scruff on his chin. "Let's hope you don't need it for the same reason as last time."

Hannah sighed. "Yeah, I'd rather not have to see you like that again. You were rather pathetic."

He chuckled. "They nearly killed me. I think I earned the right to be pathetic."

She smiled, tossing her hair over her shoulder, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms over her chest. "I'd say so… but let's not repeat history again."

He shrugged, knowing fully well that this was not a promise he could surely keep. "You know I'll try."

That was all she could ask for.

"Be safe, Mike," she asked, knowing that with every kill and every escape, it was getting more and more dangerous for him.

He tipped an imaginary hat to her before opening her door. "Yes, ma'am."

She grinned, pushing him playfully through the door. He smiled back at her as she watched him go back downstairs to his own apartment.

Hannah hoped he would actually get some sleep but she knew that after he put her dinners in the fridge, he'd be on his computer for a few hours, trying to get more information about Joe Carroll's newest following.

She heard him open his door downstairs and then there was a pause.

"Lock your door, Hannah," Mike called, sounding tired.

Hannah smiled. Mike was good at looking out for people.

She closed and dead bolted her door, heading for the kitchen to shut off the lights and head to bed.

She checked all the windows to make sure they were locked properly, already seeing the lights coming on downstairs as Mike turned on his computer.

Hannah shook her head at the thought. There was no telling him sometimes.

She padded towards her bedroom, turning on her bedside lamp, and braiding her long, wavy hair.

If she didn't braid it or put it in a ponytail at night, she'd wake to it wrapped around her neck or in her face.

At school, she kept her hair in a low bun or a ponytail, anything to keep it out of her face. Her students begged her to leave her hair down and often, they asked to touch it. Kids were weird like that.

They also asked her why she didn't wear dresses or high heels. They saw other teachers wearing "pretty" clothes and they asked why she didn't wear them, too. Hannah always wore slacks or khakis with blouses and cardigans. She spent far too much time on the floor with them or playing in the field with them to mess with dresses or heels.

Hannah picked out her outfit for tomorrow, the usual khakis, yellow blouse, and a blue blazer. She tossed in some light blue Chuck Taylors, knowing that her principal would frown upon them but that she'd still be able to get away with it.

She checked her purse for her "Ms. Evans: Applegate Elementary School" badge and set her alarm.

As she entered her bathroom, pulling off her grey cardigan, she heard her cellphone ring.

_Shit. Where did I put that thing?_

Digging through her purse, she pulled it out on the last ring.

Michael Weston.

"Hello?" she asked, checking the time. It was past 11:00 now.

"So hypothetically," he started without a greeting, "would you know absolutely anything about DNA sequencing or familiar DNA?"

Hannah frowned. "Um… not much… why?"

Mike cleared his throat. "I need to figure out if this is anything worth giving merit to…"

She shrugged, forgetting that he couldn't see her. "I really don't think I'm qualified to answer any questions about DNA…"

"Well," he pressed, "Hear me out."

"Alright," she said carefully, "I'm sitting down."

"Remember I told you that Ryan finally gave me some of what he was working on?" he asked and continued, "He insists that Joe Carroll is alive and he gave me his theory why."

"You have my attention," Hannah said frankly, getting comfortable on her couch and pulling the throw over her legs.

"He visited Carroll's childhood home in England and found that his father was quite promiscuous and had a child: Carroll's half brother. Anyways, Ryan's theory is that it was his half brother we found at that lighthouse."

"So… what you're saying…" Hannah started to speak but then stopped, "Is that Joe is alive and the body you found was his half brothers? And you're asking if their DNA would be similar because you would have run the body's DNA to confirm it was Carroll…"

Mike nodded, eyes wide. "It's crazy, right? There's no way. I ran the DNA myself…"

Hannah took in a deep breath. She recalled anything she ever knew about DNA and families.

"What did you test it against for comparison?" she asked carefully.

"The DNA we had that convicted him as well as Joey Carroll's DNA, his son," Mike answered, fully believing that now he knew there was no way there could have been a mix up.

"Well…" Hannah started, digging back, "If you only ran it against his son's, the DNA would match… The paternal DNA from Joe, he got from his father, which his brother would have… so technically, Joe and his half brother would have the same paternal DNA… and it would match to Joey…"

She felt like she was talking in circles.

"I agree on that," Mike said, "But it also matched the DNA we had in the system from the convictions that put him away."

Hannah thought on that. "Didn't you say that Carroll had followers that were deeply embedded in society? Wasn't one of them the Sherriff of that town? Couldn't someone have tampered with the DNA before it went to trial?"

Mike hadn't wanted to think of that option. That would mean that nothing was secure. Even the FBI.

"Shit… someone could've done that," Hannah realized.

Mike cleared his throat. "Yeah… someone could have…"

"That was inside the FBI," Hannah continued, "How do you even know who to trust?"

Mike chuckled. "You really don't."

"That's why you need to get Ryan back," she said carefully, "He's the only one you really know you can trust…"

Mike sighed. She was right again but he knew that any partnership he had with Ryan wouldn't be the same again. He'd stuck his neck out for him too many times but recently, Ryan hadn't seemed to have any interest in helping him in return.

"You don't need to worry about me, Hannah," Mike said quietly.

She chuckled softly. "Someone needs to. Go to bed, Mike."

She could hear him smiling on the other end. "You got it."

"Good," Hannah smiled, satisfied, "Let me know what happens, okay?"

Mike nodded. "Will do. I'll be calling you. Goodnight, Hannah."


	4. Chapter 4

Hannah had a long day at school and stayed late grading papers and checking materials out of the library.

It was past seven when she got home and walking up the stairs past Mike's apartment, she decided to check on him.

She knocked on his door, waiting to hear movement inside. She heard none.

Hannah shrugged, not surprised that he wasn't home. She should have known better.

"Hey," someone called from behind her, "Miss me already?"

She turned to see Mike standing on the stairs behind her, looking very tired.

He was wearing a black sweatshirted hoodie with a leather jacket on top of it. He looked very, very handsome.

"Hey," Hannah returned, feeling very silly, "I was just going to check on you."

Mike chuckled, coming up to the landing of his floor. "You know you don't need to check on me."

She shrugged. "Alright then."

She started towards to the stairs to go up to her apartment.

"Wait," he stopped, "I didn't mean that. Why don't you come in for a little bit?"

Mike hurried past her to unlock and open his door. He waited for her, his eyes asking her nicely to come in.

Hannah hesitated.

"Please?" he asked, "I've had a really shitty day."

She sighed, giving in, watching him smile in relief as she came to meet him at the door.

"Thank you," he said genuinely. He hadn't thought of seeing her tonight until he saw her at his door. Now the thought of her company relieved him.

Hannah entered his apartment, seeing piles of envelopes and mail stacked on his counter, shoes by the door, and shirts draped over the couch.

"Oh, uh," Mike stammered, forgetting his apartment was in this state, "Sorry about the mess."

Hannah laughed. "It's really not that bad. It was worse when I had to take care of you last year. I had to clean this place before it started crawling."

Mike smiled. "Well then I guess it's not _that_ bad. Sit down."

Hannah sat on the couch, crossing her legs under her, and getting comfortable.

"Anything to drink?" Mike asked, setting his bag down and heading into the kitchen, wanting to make her feel comfortable as she's always made him.

"Beer or anything stronger if you have it," she requested, "I've had a long day, too."

Mike smiled. He always thought of Hannah as invincible, too strong to admit defeat or weakness.

He came back into the living room with two beers, handing her one and settling on the other end of the couch with his.

"You wanna go first?" Mike offered, ready to listen to her for once.

Hannah shrugged. "Just a long day… lots of grading and researching and planning. I'm exhausted. You?"

Mike smirked. "I've told you too much about my shitty days recently."

Hannah smiled, leaning her head against the back of the couch. "I've never complained."

He smiled, looking at his beer and then her. It was true: she had never complained. Not once.

"I'm just…" Mike started, feeling frustrated, "I'm so goddamn mad at Ryan. I'm furious. It's starting to really piss me off."

Hannah could see the tension in his jawline.

"Everything he does absolutely infuriates me," Mike said, "I used to not let anything get to me. I used to be easy going. I used to be a good person. Now I'm just pissed off all the time."

Hannah had noticed that Mike had been more stressed, angry, and resentful. She figured that the job was wearing on him. He hadn't been this been until around the time of the subway murders.

"You're not a bad person," Hannah defended, taking a sip of her beer, "You're just… in a really stressful situation."

Mike chuckled. "That's an understatement."

"You're too young to be this stressed," Hannah insisted, drinking her beer.

"That's what beer is for," Mike shrugged, drinking the last of his, "Another?"

Hannah nodded, handing him her empty bottle.

As he got them more drinks, she snuggled into his couch, exhaustion returning to her. She yawned as he brought back their drinks.

"You can go home, you know," Mike offered, feeling guilty for keeping her there, "I won't be offended."

Hannah shook her head, taking her beer. "I enjoy being here."

He met her eyes as he sat down. "I enjoy you being here, too."

She smiled and he relaxed. Hannah was the only woman he'd had some kind of steady relationship with since joining the FBI. He didn't have time for friends and especially not dating.

Hannah, however, was the best kind of friend. She was there when he needed her but understood his work always came first. She never asked him to change or told him he was a bad friend.

"I'm glad you moved here," he said honestly, meeting her eyes again, "You keep me balanced."

She smiled. "Likewise."

She drank her beer to break the moment and he studied her. Long dark hair curling over her shoulders, framing her collarbone. He wondered how soft her hair felt. He wondered if it would tickle his chest if they laid in bed together. He shook the thought from his mind.

"So," she said suddenly, "You've been eating those dinners, right?"

Mike chuckled. "Yes I have. I even took one with me for lunch today."

Hannah grinned. "Really? Good! I'm glad!"

"It was very delicious, by the way," he offered, drinking his beer.

"Of course it was," she scoffed, "You shouldn't expect anything less."

Mike laughed, playfully touching her arm, settling in closer to her so that their arms were touching.

Mike smiled. And finally then, did he look as young as he was. He looked carefree and easy going, a brightness to his eyes when he laughed.

He watched Hannah out of the corner of his eye as she drank her beer, lips settling on the cool glass and tipping it back. He wondered what her lips felt like.

She could hear his breathing deepen and she could feel the tension between them suddenly.

Hannah had always thought that Mike was attractive, who wouldn't? He was blond, scruffy, and young. She decided that he didn't shave because it would make him look older at the FBI. His eyes were a dead give away to his age, however. His eyes were youthful and kind.

She finished her beer and put it on the coffee table, leaning back, waiting for Mike to say something.

He mirrored her actions, setting his beer down on the table, but turned to look at her.

She met his gaze.

He reached up and touched her hair boldly, tucking it behind her ear. "Thank you for coming to check on me, tonight."

Hannah smiled, feeling his fingertips on her ear. "Of course. I know you'd do the same for me."

Mike's fingers made their way through her hair, feeling the ends. It was as soft as he thought it would be. He wondered how her skin would feel.

"I should probably be getting back upstairs," she said quietly, eyes on his.

"Why?" he asked softly, "You don't want to be here anymore?"

"No," she said carefully, "We've both had long days and it's getting late."

She got up from the couch quickly and suddenly Mike felt full of regret. He shouldn't have touched her. He was why she was leaving. He felt cold.

"I'm sorry if I did something, Hannah," he said, following her to the door, confused.

"Oh no," she said, turning, "It wasn't you. It's just late."

The truth was that she wasn't sure if she could trust herself in that situation. She could feel the tension between them and it would only lead to two things: either them sleeping together and never speaking again or him not reciprocating what she felt and their friendship wouldn't be the same.

She couldn't risk either of those things happening again.

"Let me know if anything happens with Ryan," she offered, "Or let me know if anything changes."

"Hannah," Mike said, trying to stop her.

"And let me know if you need more dinners or anything," she continued, "I know you don't eat when you're on a case."

"Hannah, stop," he pressed, coming closer to her as her hand touched the doorknob.

"You know where I am and you can always call," she said as she opened the door.

"Hannah!" he said desperately, finally eliciting a response as she turned to face him, eyes wide.

She could feel his body heat against her as his lips touched hers gently, carefully. His beard tickled her chin as he exhaled against her. She wanted to touch her hands to his jawline. He could feel her almost shaking.

His hands steadied against her waist, feeling her warmth and wanting to draw it closer to him. There were few times that he felt warmth and he wanted to savor it. He pulled her closer until his hips touched hers and he felt her soften, kissing him back. Her hands fell upon his arms and he groaned into her mouth. He wanted to feel her skin on his. The feeling was all too real.

His lips left hers and she missed the touch almost immediately. He rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed. She was trying to steady her breathing.

"Thank you for checking in on me, Hannah" he whispered.


	5. Chapter 5

Hannah woke up to her alarm screeching. It was half past five. She groaned, hitting snooze.

It was late when she finally left Mike's door and she had tumbled into bed feeling drained. As she fell asleep, she could still feel his lips on hers and his hand curling around her neck. His body had been so warm, it nearly begged her to stay.

Now, she groggily drug herself from her warm bed, wishing she'd had just a little more sleep. Today was her class's field trip to the aquarium. Definitely not a dress and heels kind of day.

She showered quickly, hearing a text come in to her cell while she was in the shower. She shrugged it off, hoping it wasn't a parent texting to say that they couldn't chaperone.

Hannah got dressed in her khakis, black Chucks, and her school's polo shirt, pulling her hair into a low ponytail and pinning back her long bangs. As she grabbed her chapstick, she checked her phone and poured herself a cup of tea into her travel mug.

"_Last night was a late one. Why don't we meet like normal people and have dinner tonight?"_

It was from Mike.

Hannah smiled. It was smooth and very Mike.

"_Sure," _she texted back_, "Is this the homecooked dinner you asked for? :)"_

She set her phone down, screwing the lid tightly onto her mug. She checked her watch and pulled on her coat, double checking her purse for her badge.

She grabbed her school bag full of papers that still needed to be graded and tossed her purse over her shoulder, shoving her phone into her pocket.

Keys in hand, she heard her phone declare another text.

"_Not exactly but I'll leave that up to you. We can go out or you can cook, whichever you prefer_," he texted back.

Hannah thought about it. She knew she was going to have a long, busy day and Mike would probably have the same.

"_I'll cook,"_ she texted quickly before locking her door, "_But I haven't decided what it'll be yet. Prepare to be surprised."_

She was impressed by her own candor. She was hardly ever charming via text. She considered her options of what to cook while walking to school. It was a chilly morning, especially before the sun came up, but it wasn't the worst she'd seen. She was thankful that her school was close enough that she could walk and she looked forward to warmer days.

Later on, she was guiding her students through the seahorse exhibits when she got Mike's response back.

"_Perfect. I'll see you at 7:00_"

Hannah smiled, almost giddy. She tucked her phone away, leading her students towards the stingray touch tanks. She tried to convince herself that dinner tonight was like any other night. They were just going to meet up and see each other.

But still, she couldn't help but remember the feel of his hands against her neck and his lips on hers. The feeling stayed with her the rest of the day.

After school and after making sure all of her kids got home safely, she started home with a now empty school bag.

Hannah stopped by the farmer's market and picked up green beans, potatoes, and lettuce. She couldn't help but also take a slice of the Amish chocolate cake. Chocolate made her sick to her stomach, but the Amish cake was the best in the city.

When she got home, she put away all of her groceries and resisted eating a bite of the cake. Instead, she went for a quick run. It was only five and she still had plenty of time.

Along the way, she managed some push ups and pull ups, reminding herself that she really did need to do this more often. Although she was on her feet all day, that really didn't count as exercise.

When she returned home sweaty and out of breath, she took a quick shower, taking her time. She wouldn't start dinner until 7:00. She knew that Mike would be late.

Clean, fresh, and wearing jeans and a green sweater, she braided her long hair out of her way and cleaned up her apartment, putting away shoes by the door and hanging up her keys rather than leaving them on the counter.

At 7:00 exactly, she uncapped a beer for herself and started to make dinner.

At 7:30, the chicken was roasted, the green beans were sautéed, the potatoes were simmering in rosemary herb butter, and the salad waited crisply in its bowl.

The chocolate cake begged Hannah to take a bite but she resisted, putting it in the microwave to get it out of sight.

Dinner was ready, and ready late, but Mike had still not knocked on her door. Not worried but still expecting him any minute, Hannah checked her phone.

No missed calls or texts.

At 8:00, she wondered if she should text him.

_No_, she told herself, _I'm sure whatever is keeping him is already making him feel guilty. I don't to make him feel worse… I expected this. This is how is job always is._

At 8:30 she ate her chicken breast and a few green beans, throwing back her third beer.

She felt disappointed and upset with herself. She shouldn't have felt disappointed. She should have known that Mike wouldn't be able to make it.

_He couldn't even text or call… it must be serious_, she reminded herself.

At 9:00, she put his part of the meal and the leftovers into Tupperware and took it downstairs to his apartment, leaving it in the fridge.

She left a note on it for it. _This week's dinner :)_

As she climbed the stairs back to her apartment, she reminded herself that this wasn't a big deal. She wondered about all the things Mike must have missed being in this job. She wondered how many friendships had been lost and how many girlfriends must have given up on him.

It wasn't a normal 9-5 job. The FBI incited many overtime hours, late nights, and numerous weekends. Mike's job, however, called him in to work when someone was killed. Killers didn't respect night or weekend engagements of the people trying to find them.

And there was no way that Mike would excuse himself because he had dinner plans. Hannah would have been mad at him if he did. His job wasn't something that he could leave until the next day. Papers could wait, but deaths and murders couldn't.

She locked her door, turning off her lights and heading to bed. She already showered after her run, so she threw on an old t-shirt and some socks and got into bed.

Hannah twisted her hair into a bun and shut off her bedside light, checking her phone one last time to see if she'd heard from Mike, or Agent Weston as he was being right now.

She wondered what he must be like at work. She could see the different edges of his personality: fun and playful, but also serious and very easily pissed off nowadays. She wondered what his colleagues thought of him at work. He was very young, but very good at his job.

Belly full of beer and chicken, slightly worried about what Mike must be involved in, Hannah fell asleep.

Hours later, Mike quickly climbed the stairs towards their apartments. He was sick with guilt. He and Mendez were following a trail of Emma Hill sightings and scanning surveillance videos for the twins. Not wanting to seem distracted or not dedicated to this task, he didn't ask to leave. He couldn't risk her seeing him losing sight of it.

Mike was so focused on proving himself once again and finally finding something before Ryan beat him to it, he hadn't broken away to text or call Hannah. He knew he should have, but the moment never came for him to step away.

Now, reaching his door at three in the morning, he knew she'd be asleep. He would apologize to her first thing in the morning.

Tossing his keys on the counter, he felt disappointment. He had never been able to keep one single promise to her. He'd lost so many friends and relationships because of his job but Hannah had never pressured him or made him feel guilty. That made him feel worse.

He opened his fridge to reheat a dinner she'd given him the other night when he saw a new Tupperware in it. He took it out, frowning, noticing the note on it.

_This week's dinner :)_

Mike groaned. He looked inside. Roasted chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, and salad.

She'd made him dinner and then brought him his part when he hadn't shown up.

He put the container back in the fridge and closed it, leaning against it.

_Fuck_.

He started towards his bedroom, sick with guilt but he stopped. He had to apologize, even if he woke her up, he had to say he was sorry. She'd made him dinner… and he'd never shown up.

Finding himself at her door seconds later, he knocked loudly, sure she'd wake up.

After hearing nothing inside, he knocked once more, taking his phone out to call her to let him in.

As he dialed her number, he didn't start the call.

Sighing, he put his phone back into his pocket. He didn't show up for dinner… he shouldn't wake her up at 3 in the morning… That wouldn't make it right. Apologizing could wait.

As he turned, her door opened.

"Mike?" she asked, sleepily, "What time is it?"

Mike sighed, relieved. Even in her sweatpants, too big shirt, and hair in a messy, lopsided bun, she looked gorgeous. And she wasn't furious with him.

"I'm so sorry," he started, "I wanted to call you but something came up and I just couldn't get away. I'm so sorry."

Hannah smiled sleepily. "It's really okay. I put your leftovers in the fridge."

Mike hung his head. "I know… I saw them. You knew I wouldn't be coming…"

Hannah leaned against the door. "By 9:00, I called it a night. Don't worry about it. You've been working late recently. I know that."

He groaned. "That's not a good excuse."

She shrugged. "It's really fine. I'm not upset about it."

_You're not upset because I've never kept a promise to you anyways_, he thought, _Why would tonight be any different?_

"Rain check," she suggested, smiling with groggy eyes, "There will be another time."

He nodded, still not feeling better. The fact that she took it so well and expected this to happen made him feel worse.

"Do you have school tomorrow?" he asked, looking up.

She shook her head, her messy bun falling slightly. "No, tomorrow's Saturday."

"Oh," Mike said, he'd even forgotten what day it was, "Could I come in for a little while?"

Hannah was suddenly uneasy, checking the clock on her wall behind her. It was after three in the morning.

"I won't stay late," Mike assured, "I just… I missed your company today… I was looking forward to it but I was late…"

Hannah mulled it over.

"It's really late," she pressed, "But I guess that'd be okay."

Mike smiled, relieved.


	6. Chapter 6

Hannah settled on the couch, pulling the throw over her and curling her legs under herself.

"I'm sorry I won't be too much fun," she said apologizing, getting comfortable. She was too tired to worry that he was seeing her without make up and her hair in a horrible bun.

Mike took off his jacket. "I don't expect you to. I just want to have your company."

He sat down on the couch next to her as she yawned.

"So," she asked, "How was your day?"

Mike chuckled. "I really don't want to talk about that. It'll just remind me that I left you hanging on our dinner date."

Hannah smiled, closing her eyes. "It wasn't a date, Mike."

"So you say," he said, smiling at her.

She was smiling back but her eyes were still closed.

"Hey," Mike said, jostling her playfully, "You can't go to sleep yet. I just got here!"

Hannah frowned, eyes still closed. "I told you I was tired! You're lucky I didn't go back to bed."

Mike smiled. "I think you sleep way too much. Too much sleep isn't healthy."

Hannah pushed him back, opening her eyes. "You never sleep. You're always working too much."

Mike shrugged, his smile falling. "Work keeps me from a lot of things."

Hannah willed her eyes to stay open. "Did you always want to be in the FBI?"

He smirked.

"Always," he said, meeting her eyes, "I studied Behavioral Science at Wesleyan."

"And you're the youngest in your unit," Hannah smiled, "You've told me."

He smiled. "I forgot how much you knew about me."

She smirked, closing her eyes again. "It's been a few years."

"Yeah," he laughed, "I guess it has been… you're the only woman I can manage to keep around."

Hannah laughed. "Miraculously so, huh?"

"It annoys me sometimes that you're so forgiving about my job," he said honestly, looking at her, "It's not normal."

She shrugged, opening her eyes to look at him. "What would you have me do? Be mad that I don't see you regularly or that you're always late and can never keep promises?"

Mike hung his head. "Yeah… something like that. It seems to be how everyone else feels."

"No," she said explaining, "That's stupid. Your job comes first. You've worked hard to get where you are and still have a lot to prove. You love your job and you're good at it. Why would I be mad about that?"

He shook his head. "You're too understanding. Why can't you just be mad at me and let me grovel at your feet for forgiveness?"

Hannah laughed. "I'm not that kind of girl, Mike. When a kid spills an entire bottle of paint all over their desk or pukes on your feet, like literally, on your feet, you get upset for a second, but then get over it. You can't be mad at kids for making mistakes and you can't get mad at people for being who they are."

Mike thought about that. "A kid really puked on your feet?"

She rolled her eyes. "It was field day and the kids had to do the mile run. It also happened to be right after they had lunch and the one in question guzzled his milk before we left the cafeteria."

Mike winced. "Ew. That's bad. I would've been pissed."

She shrugged. "I was pretty grossed out, but hey, what're you gonna do? Clean it up and get on with the day. And never eat beef noodle surprise again."

"I don't know if I could be that forgiving. I like kids… but I don't know about that… In fact, I'm pretty pissed with Ryan and he's acting like a big kid," he said, shaking his head.

"We always talk about Ryan," Hannah confessed, "Deal with him when you need to. Don't let him take over your life like he let Joe Carroll do to his."

Mike shrugged, hoping he wasn't obsessing over Ryan like he was Joe. "Fair point. I'll let myself get distracted in how fucking adorable you look in sweatpants."

Hannah sat up. "Mike! You never curse!"

It was true, he rarely cursed. But she looked adorable and utterly kissable, but he refrained himself.

He smiled, shrugging. "Not everyday I get to sit with you at three am. I should catch you like this more often. I could get used to this."

She rolled her eyes. "It'll probably happen again if you skip out on dinner."

This time he smiled. "I can't promise I'll make dinner every time, but you can count on me being here at three am if I don't."

She smiled. "That's okay by me."

He looked over at her smiling at him. This had been the second night he'd been in her apartment late. It was actually his second time period.

She looked so cozy there, so at home. She'd made her apartment an extension of her life and she fit in perfectly. His own apartment was just necessity: a place to occasionally sleep and shower. Hannah had made her apartment a home. He could get used to being there.

She sighed sleepily and his attention was called back to her.

"I'm sorry," she said, yawning, "I'm trying to stay awake."

Mike hung his head. "I know, I really ought to let you go back to sleep. I'm sorry. I'll go now."

"You don't have to," she said, stopping him, "I'll stay up a little bit longer."

He smiled. "I should've been to dinner on time and this wouldn't have happened."

She grinned. "Yeah, I'll let you take the blame on this one. I'm especially tired tonight because we were at the aquarium today. Field trips wipe me out."

He nodded. "I bet! It's funny that we have careers that we have to be completely different people in."

Hannah sat up, a little more awake. "What do you mean?"

He turned towards her. "I mean… at work, you're Ms. Evans and I'm Agent Weston… we have to be specific people and fill specific roles. Our jobs require a lot of us… A lot of time, energy, and effort."

She shrugged. "I could be a better teacher than I am now… but to do so would mean making teaching my entire life. I love teaching but that's not who I am. It doesn't define me. If I let it become me and I spend every ounce of energy I have doing it, I'll be a better teacher, but I'll burn out. I love teaching and myself too much to let that happen. Is that sad?"

He thought about it. "No… it's a little sad that that's true about your profession… but it's good that you know what's best for yourself… you won't let what you love and your job destroy you… Too many people turn into their job and it destroys everything… look at Ryan… look how much the FBI and Joe Carroll have ruined his life… but he's perfectly happy to keep letting it happen…"

Mike looked at her and waited for her to remind him that they always talk about Ryan but she didn't.

"You know," he laughed quietly, "I wonder if I'm starting to become like him… but instead of chasing after Joe Carroll, I'm chasing after both of them. And I'll let it destroy my life, too."

Hannah sighed. "I don't know, Mike… I hope you don't let it destroy you… But that decision is entirely up to you…"

He looked over at her and thought about it. He wondered if he'd ever be strong enough to let something be more important to him than his job and to follow through with it. It weighed heavy on him.

"I think you'll be okay," she said, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. "I think you'll find someone or something that will mean the world to you and come before your job."

"I think so too," he said, hoping that came sooner rather than later, "Would you like me to go now?"

Hannah looked at him, wishing that he could stay if she was more awake. "I'm really trying hard to stay awake for you."

He chuckled. "I know… you do a lot for me."

When he looked at her, their eyes met and he thought about just how much she'd done for him. She'd taken care of him in sickness and in health and he'd never repaid her for it. She'd never asked.

She watched him in intently, wishing she could just go back to bed and drag him into it with her, having both things she wanted: sleep and more time with him. She considered that he would agree to it if she asked him to.

Before she could find some awkward way of asking it, he'd closed the space between them and his lips were on hers.

He kissed her softly, tentatively. His lips were warm and his breath hot. She kissed him back as his hand found its way to her waist, her skin prickling.

She leaned into him and he kissed her deeper, doing what he wanted to all day long. Ever since he kissed her last night, her lips on his were on his mind.

Her hand touched his jaw, the scruff prickly against her palm, pulling him closer to her. She could feel him edge nearer in response, keeping her close.

Soon both of her hands found their way behind his head, fingers sliding through his blond hair, willing him closer. Her breath was hot as she kissed him, shivering as his lips touched hers.

His hands were warm against her, pressed against her back to keep them from wandering. He didn't trust himself. He wanted to pull her into his lap but he refrained himself. He wouldn't mess this up.

As his lips withdrew from her, his forehead rested against hers, breathing heavily. She badly wanted his lips on hers once again. She craved that feeling.

"C'mon," he said, sounding reluctant and kicking off his shoes, "You need to sleep."

He leaned back against the couch and pulled her into his chest, her cheek at his collarbone, her head tucked under his chin.

Her hair tickled his neck as she stiffened against him.

"You're okay with me," he said quietly, "I promise. You know I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

He was relieved when he felt her soften against him, curling her leg over his, getting comfortable. One arm was under her and the other lay lightly on his stomach.

He breathed heavy, having her this close to him was almost more intimate than kissing her. Her body molded to his and he watched her breathing slow.

"You know," she said whispered, "This isn't the first time I've fallen asleep with you."

Mike looked down at her confused. He frowned.

"When you first got out of the hospital, I was scared you were going to stop breathing when you slept or not wake up at all. I slept in bed with you the whole night," she whispered.

He smiled. He hadn't known that.

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Someday I'll repay you for everything you've done for me."


	7. Chapter 7

When Hannah awoke, she was surprised she'd woken up naturally for once rather than by her alarm.

She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the sunlight and snuggling farther against her pillow. When she did so, her pillow snuggled back against her and she opened her eyes, confused.

She looked around her living room and it came back to her. She'd fallen asleep on the couch last night.

Her pillow shifted under her and she looked next to her. A very muscular, warm masculine body. His breathing even sounded masculine.

She raised her head and looked at Mike asleep on her couch under her.

He was completely asleep, face relaxed; devastatingly handsome. Hannah smiled, remembering the way he'd kissed her last night and then pulled her against him as she fell asleep.

She inhaled the smell of him, purely Mike. She snuggled against his chest and his arms tightened around her.

"Good morning," he said huskily.

She smiled against him "Good morning."

He stretched, holding her closer. "How did you sleep?"

Hannah grinned. "Actually quite well! Very warm."

Mike smiled. He hadn't remembered the last time he slept near her and he was glad he actually remembered this time.

"Good," he said, looking down at her, "Me, too."

Hannah began to get up, but Mike held her to him, savoring her warmth and body pressed against his. Although he'd slept in jeans and in the same position all night, it was the best sleep he'd gotten since the subway attack.

"Mike, c'mon, it's Saturday," Hannah groaned, "I have a lot to do."

"Like what?" he scoffed, "Seems like the perfect day to get a late start."

She wriggled free of him, sitting up on his lap. "I need to go to the library, pick up my dry cleaning, plans some lessons, and go to the farmer's market."

Mike smiled, still relaxed on the couch. He put his hand behind his head. "Would going to breakfast with me fit in your busy schedule?"

Hannah smiled, her hand on his chest. "If it's quick, then yes."

He grinned. "Meet you downstairs in twenty minutes?"

She rolled her eyes, smiling. "Sure."

Before she could get up, he pulled her back down for a kiss, hands on her ribs to balance her. Her hands on his chest pushed her back up.

"Okay then!" she grinned, "Twenty minutes! You'd better get moving!"

Mike grinned, jumping off the couch when she got up, grabbing his jacket, and heading for the door.

Laughing, she shook her head and headed towards her shower.

"Twenty minutes, Ms. Evans!" he called as he closed her door behind him.

Hannah showered more quickly than she ever had before. Sad to wash Mike's smell off her and to rid herself of the feel of his warm body against her, she showered.

She twisted and pinned her bangs away from her face, leaving her long hair free flowing and threw on some clothes. Flats, jeans, striped shirt, and a light jacket. She grabbed her reusable bags for the market and the library and grabbed her wallet. She decided to ditch the purse since she was already carrying enough bags.

As she locked her front door, she heard Mike opening his downstairs.

"Well, I'm impressed!" he called to her as he locked his door, "Twenty minutes on the dot! You never fail to impress me."

Hannah smiled, pushing her hair off her shoulder as she met Mike on the landing of his floor.

"So," he said, taking her bags for her, "The bakery around the corner fast enough?"

"Sure," she said, "But… you really don't need to carry my bags…"

She reached for them but he held them out of reach. "Nonsense… you know that I'm a good gentleman."

Hannah rolled her eyes as they walked into the bakery, Mike tucking her bags under his arm.

Hannah's order was easy. The bakery was family owned and she got breakfast there every day. Mike seemed uneasy. He wished he had a routine as easy as hers. He'd only been to that bakery three times.

They held their coffees as they waited, too many people in the bakery to make small talk. As the owner handed Hannah their bags of breakfast, Mike's phone rang.

She tried not to look or make eye contact. She knew that it'd be work.

Mike sighed angrily when he noticed the caller ID. He turned away from Hannah but she could still hear him.

"Weston," he barked, not hiding the annoyance in his voice, "Yeah…ok… I'm on my way."

He turned back to Hannah, angry and apologetic. "I-"

She waved him off.

"I know… work… here's your breakfast," she said, handing him his bag and smiling, "I told you I had plenty to do today. I'll see you later."

Before he could say anything else, she was already backing away, sipping her coffee and leaving the bakery.

He huffed. She was too damn normal. He wished she could just be mad at him like everyone else. Another meal ruined.

Taking a big gulp of his coffee and a bite of his bagel, he threw his bag in the trash and headed out the door, already dreading whatever Mendez was going to tell him.

* * *

I'm on a roll! Hope y'all are enjoying this so far!


	8. Chapter 8

Walking to the subway, Mike's head spun with information.

He'd seen a photo of a bearded man with Joe's dead prostitute pen pal's daughter… that may have looked oddly like Joe. But no… it couldn't be Joe Carroll. Joe was dead and Ryan's theory about him being alive couldn't be true… this was just a coincidence.

And Ryan himself… damn. He'd seen Ryan pursue a woman in the train station and Max hot on her heels. When he saw that Ryan was involved he was mad, but when he saw that Max was there, he was furious.

He'd told both of them that they were going to get themselves killed. They both refused to listen. They had a death wish. Mike was surprised that Ryan had survived this long with all of his run ins with the new following lately: Carlos, the twins, Lily Gray, and now this woman.

Mike shook his head. He was trying to help Ryan… but you can't help someone who won't even help themselves.

Mendez was staying late, trying to track where Ryan and Max got off the train. Mike had agents trying to track any disposable phone Ryan had to find out where they were. But there was nothing more he could do.

He knew he'd blame himself if Ryan and Max ended up in body bags but he was furious with them. They were recklessly endangering themselves. He couldn't believe that Ryan was being this stupid… of all the people that Ryan had lost, especially Claire, he was willing to risk Max's life.

Mike scoffed. That was the biggest difference between him and Ryan. Mike had risked his life before and had almost been killed because of it, but he would never endanger someone else's life, especially someone he cared about.

That thought alone infuriated him. Why wouldn't Ryan just back off? Why would he keep doing his and get himself and his niece killed?

Mike wanted to hit something. Of all the times that Mike was mad at Ryan, this was by far the worst. Ryan was that far gone.

He climbed the steps to his building and checked his watch angrily. It was past midnight. Too late to knock on Hannah's door again.

_Fuck_, he grumbled, kicking the front door open and dragging himself inside. Dinner last night had been ruined, so had breakfast this morning, because of work. Because of Ryan.

Mike pulled his keys out and dropped them on the floor as he tried to open his door.

_Goddamnit._

Everything was making him mad.

His kicked his door open and slammed it shut behind him, throwing his wallet and keys down and kicking off his shoes. His wallet fell off the table and onto the ground.

Mike growled, knocking over the lamp on the end table in anger, not caring that it broke on the floor.

He started towards the shower, wanting to be rid of everything Ryan Hardy and everything that had ruined his day.

He usually liked his showers cold, but tonight he turned it on full heat. The more it scalded, the better it made him feel. The clearer it made him think.

He thought about texting Hannah… just to see how her day was…

No… then he'd want to see her and he'd keep her up again.

Mike shook his head under the spray of the water. No. He wouldn't make a habit out of coming to her late and leaving her once his phone rang in the morning.

But he knew there was no way to avoid that… to do so would mean to miss a call and not go in to work… He couldn't do that…

He hit the shower wall with his fist, teeth clenched. _Fuck Joe Carroll_.

As mad as he was at Ryan and at Joe… he sighed… There would always be another. There would always be another case to take him away. Always another serial killer hell bent on taking out as many people as they could.

Mike got out of the shower and dried off. He would never leave his job. He couldn't. He couldn't see himself doing anything else. This job was going to kill him.

As he wrapped the towel around his waist, there was a knock on the door. He grabbed his Glock 22 off his dresser, taking the safety off. He'd been caught off guard before…

Approaching the door quietly, he checked the peephole.

It was Hannah.

Mike lowered his gun and groaned. He unlocked his door, putting his gun on the end table to not alarm her.

"Hey," she said softly, "I just wanted to make sure everything was alright after today…"

Mike glared at her. She tried not to notice that he was just in a towel.

"Now's not good, Hannah," he said gruffly, "I don't want to talk."

"Fair enough," she said quietly, retreating, "I'll see you later."

Mike stood there stiffly as she climbed the stairs.

"Get some rest," she said over her shoulder, knowing fully well that he wouldn't.

He rolled his eyes and closed his door, locking it tight.

He knew he wouldn't have been in a good mood if he saw Hannah. He knew it and he stayed away from her. She only had herself to blame for this.

Hannah came back to her door, going inside. Mike was in a foul mood but she knew it wasn't about her. They left on good terms this morning, even if he was annoyed about being called into work. It wasn't her that he was mad at.

She locked her door and turned her bedside lamp on, plugging in her cell phone.

She untangled her hair and turned her shower on full blast, the hottest it would go. A shower, like food, was only good if it burned her. She shrugged off Mike's briskness. Everyone got in bad moods. Especially with jobs like his.

If anything, she was annoyed with herself for checking on him in the first place.

_He's a grown man,_ she thought, pulling back her shower curtain, _He doesn't need someone checking in on him. I probably made him feel like a child._

_And besides… maybe I'm smothering him. We've spent an awful lot of time together. Maybe he was looking forward to a Hannah-free night… Well… he's been the one to initiate all this time together…_

_Whatever. This isn't about me. I refuse to make it my problem._

Hannah spent more time than usual in the shower, shaking her head free of Mike's abrupt manner.

She resolved to forget anything that happened between them. All the kisses and the talks and the falling asleep on the couch together. They were just friends. This was clear from his behavior ten minutes ago.

Hannah growled at herself as she wrapped herself in a large towel.

_Stop it! _She chastised herself, _This ISN'T about me!_

Scowling in the mirror, she untangled her hair, spritzing conditioner in it to help the process. She shook it out, finger combing the snarls but not getting anywhere. She slammed her fists down on her sink, counting back from 10.

_This is ridiculous,_ she told herself, _I was fine fifteen minutes ago. I will not let myself get worked up over his problems._

Committing to that resolve, she shook her hair out once again, deciding to let the snarls win. As she took her toothbrush in hand, there was a knock at her door.

She stared at herself in the mirror. It was probably Mike coming to apologize, thinking that he trampled on her feelings and that she was up there licking her wounds and depressed.

She frowned. She was not that sensitive. He didn't hurt her feelings. She was just pissed at herself that she even went to check on him to begin with. She decided to ignore the knocking.

As she brushed her teeth, however, the knocking continued. Rinsing her brush, she put it away as the knocking escalated. Someone would call the police soon.

"Hannah! I know you're in there!"

Quickly, she got to her front door, mentally cursing herself for wasting time brushing her teeth rather than put clothes on.

Her hair was dripping as she opened the door.

Mike stood there, furious, in sweatpants and a faded FBI shirt.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" he snarled.

"My phone? You didn't call me," she barked.

Mike rolled his eyes. "Yes, I did. I've been calling you nonstop but you refused to answer."

"I was in the shower!" Hannah defended, now mad that he was angry with her for no reason.

"Whatever. I was calling to apologize but you didn't want to hear it," he said, still angry.

Hannah cocked her head and raised her eyebrow.

"You sound so sincere," she said sarcastically.

He scoffed. "Whatever. I was trying to do the right thing."

"Right thing?" she jabbed, "What right thing? You didn't do anything wrong? I was an idiot and tried to check in on you and you weren't having a good day. What's there to apologize for?"

His mood didn't lighten. "I treated you coldly and I shouldn't have…"

Hannah shook her head. "I'm not mad about that."

Mike's stood his ground. "What are you mad about then?"

Hannah sighed angrily. It sounded stupid the way she said it in her head. "I'm mad because I shouldn't have checked up on you. You're a grown man. If you wanted to talk, you would've told me."

Mike opened his mouth to respond… but she was right. He was annoyed with her that she'd come to his door. He was trying to avoid her so he didn't repeat his pattern…

"Exactly," Hannah said, "So if we're done, I need to get dressed and go to bed now."

Mike stopped her door from closing and met her eyes, trying to calm his temper down.

"Look," he said carefully, "I had a really shitty day and I wanted to see you… but I didn't want you to hate that I'm always calling on you at night and then leaving as soon as my phone rings… I wanted to avoid that… and then you showed up at my door and I was just… I was still pissed."

Hannah softened. "That's fine… again, my mistake in checking on you."

She began to close her door again.

"Goddamnit, Hannah," he growled, "I'm in a very pissed off mood and it's making me even more angry that I'm here arguing with you when you're standing in front of me in just a towel."

"Just let me come in," he said quieter, face still angry.

Hannah's first thought was to say _Hell no!_ But she knew she couldn't turn away from Mike when he needed her. Something happened today and it'd made him furious. She could see it eating him.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine then."

Mike exhaled, not expecting her to let him in but he still remained angry. He stormed into her apartment. What he'd seen today had made him manic. He was in a very uncompromising mood.

Hannah locked the door behind him. She was still pissed but sending Mike away in his temper wouldn't fix anything. This was a time that he really did need her, as much as he would deny it. As angry as she was, she knew she couldn't ignore that call.


	9. Chapter 9

Mike stood in her foyer still angry, arms crossed over his chest.

Hannah walked past him in her towel, her hair still dripping. She was getting goosebumps.

"Come talk to me while I put some clothes on," she said, not looking back, "Or you can stay out there and be pissed by yourself."

Mike grumbled behind her as she went into her bathroom, the door cracked so she could listen to him.

He stopped in her bedroom and looked around. He'd never been this far into her apartment before. He'd never seen where she slept. He saw books on her nightstand, curtains, lamps, and pillows. It was a cozy retreat.

"Go ahead," she called from the bathroom, trying not to sound gruff.

Mike sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed, noticing the quilt and blankets. He wondered if she got cold at night.

He could hear Hannah hanging her towel up and getting dressed.

"Alright well I'll let you be pissed off then," she said, giving up on him telling her. He could see her roll her eyes.

Mike sat in silence. He was so angry that he didn't even want to say it. He had too many things going on in his head that he couldn't even connect them into full sentences. He was still seeing red.

The bathroom door opened and Hannah emerged, long hair still wet and in yoga pants and a sports bra. She hadn't planned on any visitors before bedtime.

"I don't know what you want me to do, so I'll just wait until you tell me," she said, not looking at him as she pulled a t-shirt out of her drawer.

Mike could see a long, angry scar between her shoulder and collarbone as she pulled the t-shirt on, obscuring his view.

She stood up and stared at him, impatience setting in. Mike met her gaze angrily; he looked like he was about to snap.

Hannah rolled her eyes, going back into the bathroom to comb her hair. It was too late to beg him to tell her what was wrong. She was in no mood for this.

Finally, Mike cleared his throat and in a very angry tone, he told her everything.

He told her how he'd seen Ryan chase a woman into the train station and how he'd seen Max there with him. He spent twenty-five minutes nearly screaming about it. He was so angry that his face felt red. He hands were sweaty and he wanted to break something.

"You don't get it, Hannah, I seriously almost punched someone when I saw that," he said, shaking in anger.

Then he told her about the photo he'd seen of the girl and the bearded man. His head was spinning. He leaned over and put his elbows on his knees.

He shook his head. "There's just no way…"

Hannah looked at him through the mirror, rubbing lotion on her hands. "No way what?"

Mike still stared at the ground, eyes trying to focus on something. He breathed heavy.

"Mike?" she asked carefully, stopping what she was doing.

He looked up at her. "It looked like Joe Carroll…"

His face was serious and she turned, moving her bathroom door out of the way.

"There's no," she said, shaking her head and dismissing it, "You ran the DNA yourself…"

Mike nodded. "I know… and I told you about Ryan's theory… that it was Joe's brother… I hadn't given it any merit… but seriously… it looked like it could've been him…"

Hannah thought about it. "Does that mean he's connected to the recent attacks? Did he have them do that?"

Mike shrugged. "I have no idea… he was spotted in Arkansas… if he knew about these people, it would be a surprise to me."

Hannah leaned against her doorframe. Mike's demeanor had changed somewhat. He'd gone from angry to unconvinced. It seemed that he couldn't convince himself if Joe Carroll was alive or if he was dead.

He looked up at Hannah, his eyes confused. "I really don't know…"

She stood there, waiting for him to say more.

"That fact that I don't know anything but Ryan does and refuses to let me in makes me angry as shit," he grumbled, putting his head in his hands, "And I've tried everything…"

He heard Hannah sigh. "Maybe you just need to let him go…"

He looked up, scoffing. "As forgiving as you are with me, you'd just let someone go? Even if it meant they could die? I don't think you could do that."

She shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say, Mike… Do you want me to say that you need to keep having faith in Ryan?"

Mike shrugged. "No…"

"Then do you want me to say to give up on him?" she asked rhetorically.

Mike looked up, annoyed. "I want to know what you would do… I want to know what you think will happen, not just what you think I want to hear…"

Hannah rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "You don't want to hear what I think…"

"Yes," Mike said growled, "I do."

He was getting annoyed and so was she. There was no pleasing him.

"Fine," she said, calling his bluff, "You're going to let this job kill you. If you keep your faith in Ryan and he dies, you'll kill yourself going after Joe Carroll and making it right. You'll be exactly like Ryan is now that he lost Claire. If you abandon Ryan like he wants and he dies, you'll go crazy with guilt and still go after Joe Carroll and you'll turn into exactly what Ryan Hardy is."

Mike's eyes glazed over. He was nothing like Ryan Hardy. How dare she say that?

"I. Am. Not. Ryan. Hardy," he said through grit teeth.

Hannah scoffed. "No… you're Ryan Hardy ten years ago and look what it's done to him. It'll do it to you, too."

"I won't let that happen," he said, feeling angrier than ever.

She rolled her eyes. "You can't even see what this is doing to you… You see what it's doing to Ryan and you keep trying to help him. You're on the same hamster wheel that he is… you don't see what this is doing to you, either."

Mike stood to his feet, fists balled. "Stop it."

Hannah stared at him defiantly. "You know it's true. You wanted to know what I thought. You only have yourself to blame for this."

He stood there shaking in anger. Hannah staring back at him made him even more furious. How dare she say those things? She didn't know him. She didn't know Ryan.

Hannah felt the slightest regret in saying what she did, but he'd wanted it… and it was all true. She wished it wasn't, but it was.

Mike was still shaking in anger. "I'm so fucking pissed at you right now."

She cocked her head to the side. "But you're not going to leave."

It was a statement, a fact. He wouldn't leave like this. And he was furious that she'd called him out on it. He was so mad at her but he didn't want to leave.

She inhaled and he lunged at her, mouth hot against hers, teeth clashing as he stumbled her back against the door, not sorry in the least.

She was startled, her pulse beating wildly with adrenaline. She hadn't expected this out of his anger. His hands were fast against her body, pushing her against the door and then pulling her back against him.

His whole body was red hot in anger and his fingers gripped her skin roughly.

His hands slid under her shirt, up along her back, ferociously pulling her to him every time she exhaled. His hands wanted to feel more of her skin; he wanted to feel all of her against him.

Her hands slid between them, trying to keep some distance, sure he'd be able to feel her heart pounding against him. He knocked her hands off his chest and his body was flush against her once again, her hands finding their place at his neck, fingers pressing.

He could taste her breath and he was sure that her eyes would be as glazed in lust as his. Her fingers slid into his hair, now pulling him back to him, him feeling her shuddering under his hands.

He wanted more.

His lips dropped to her neck, his forehead nudging her jaw back, giving him more room, more skin to explore. He could feel her groan against his lips and it fueled him. Her hands were pressing him against her harder.

His hands held her to him and when he nipped the side of her neck, her back bowed against him, bringing them closer together, his grip tightening. She could feel her resolve fading.

His mouth came back to hers, frantic and breathless. Her body pressed against his, shuddering against his, was almost too much. He could feel her warmth against his skin. He wanted to feel all of her against him.

He groaned low in his throat and she melted against him, hands desperately pulling at him. He knew she could feel how much he wanted her. It would be painfully obvious in his sweatpants.

She whimpered. The fact that Mike was kissing her this hard, pressed up against the door, his thick hardness against her hip made her shiver with want.

His mouth was heavy against hers, his hands desperately wanting to pull her t-shirt off and to drag her back to her bed.

No… he couldn't…

Her hands were on his waist, keeping herself grounded to him and she bit his lip lightly.

Groaning, his resolve went.

His hands that were along her waist shot up, pulling her shirt with them. Their mouths broke quickly as her arms went up and the shirt was thrown to the floor.

His lips on hers returned with ferocity, her heat even more enticing without that layer. He franticly wanted to feel her skin on his.

He dropped his mouth to her shoulder, licking along her collarbone, skating over her scar, sucking at the hollow at the side of her neck.

She groaned, her hands quickly finding the bottom of his shirt and ripping it above his head. She had to have him like that.

Wanting it, craving it, he slid his naked skin against hers, red hot, their stomachs both erupting in goosebumps.

Shuddering, his nipples hardened, wishing he could feel her naked breasts on him as well. Wishing he could feel her whole body sliding against his.

With his arms around her back, he could feel her skin against his chest, along his arms, surrounded by her warmth. Her hands fell across his back, along his hips, and to his stomach.

He shuddered, feeling her hands touch his stomach where he was so sensitive. She felt him throb against her and her hands slid up to his chest, over his nipples to his shoulders and around his neck.

And that had been it. Her hands and forearms sliding across his chest, over his collarbone, and to his neck, pulling him to her that had done it.

Groaning, he pulled her back with him, determined to have her in her bed, wanting to feel her on top of him, chests pressed together. He wanted her.


	10. Chapter 10

As they hit the bed, she slid against him and he groaned. This was how he wanted her.

Her hands were on his chest as she kept herself up, his hands still pulling her down.

Her lips fell across his jaw, his neck, nibbling at his earlobe, then mouth hot against his collarbone. Mike groaned. Having her on top of him and her mouth on him was almost too much.

His hands trailed down her back to her hips, resting each in his palms. He felt a scar on the inside of her hip, opposite of the one on her shoulder.

She kissed down his chest, mouth hot and wet. He was shuddering.

His hands shot underneath her arms as he pulled her up, teeth clashing as his mouth was upon hers once again.

Groaning, he rolled them, pinning her underneath him, hips driving against hers. He could already feel the delicious friction between them.

Hannah reached up for him, pulling him down to her closer, his hands trailing down her stomach, making her back arch and bringing her closer to him.

His fingers deftly skated along the edge of her sweatpants and she shook in anticipation. His thumb hooked the top of them already pulling…

"We can't," he groaned against her mouth.

She frowned and his mouth dropped to her neck, hand retreating to her waist.

"We can't," Mike groaned again, still not sounding convincing, his scruff against her skin, "It's too soon."

Hannah whimpered. In this state, she didn't agree. In this state, in fact, it wasn't soon enough.

Mike kissed her neck gently, still breathing hard, and slid to her side, pressed neatly against her, head propped up on his hand.

He could see her deep breathing, felt her pulse beating against him. It had taken so much for him to stop. He had half a mind to still keep going. He wanted her so badly. But he wanted to keep her more.

Her eyes were closed, trying to ground herself and keep herself from not lunging at him and defying him, forcing him to finish what he started.

She shook, imagining what would've happened, still wanting it.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Hannah threw her arm over her eyes, breathless. "No, I know… We're friends… friends don't do this."

She tried to tell herself that he was right… they shouldn't… But, god, did she want to.

He smiled, pulling her arm off her face, wanting to look at her.

"That's not it," he started, willing his breathing to return to normal like the rest of his body, "It's not because we're just friends… but as a friend, god, the things I would do to you…"

She giggled.

He smiled. "I value the friendship we have with each other… which is exactly why I need to tread carefully with us… it's not that I don't want to, you don't know how much I do… but I can't act haphazardly with you."

She nodded. "I get that."

Mike leaned over and kissed her gently, softly. He wanted her badly and had almost had her… He had almost thrown inhibition to the wind and done what he wanted… but he couldn't risk the consequences.

Relationships had never work out for him because of that. Hannah was the only woman he'd kept around consistently… he couldn't mess it up with her.

He kissed her again.

"Don't do that," she said breathlessly, "I don't know if I have as much self control as you do."

He chuckled. "You have no idea how much it took me to stop…"

"I don't know why you did," she teased, eyes still closed, pulse still quick. She told herself that had they gone through with it, she would have still been his friend, even if it was just one time. She tried to believe that things would have gone on as normal… but she knew he we was right.

He smiled, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "I already told you why. I'm trying to change my behavior and be in more control of my actions, remember?"

Hannah rolled her eyes. She shouldn't have told him that. It left her aching for him, but she understood.

He let her breathing level out and her pulse slow before he touched her again, his hand palming her stomach gently.

"You're so infuriating," Hannah groaned, still wishing that Mike hadn't stopped.

He chuckled. "Now you know how I feel when you're always so forgiving."

Hannah's eyes shot open. "Point taken. I'll just yell at you from now on and give you what you want."

He winked at her. "If you do, we may end up in this same situation again."

She winked back. "Promise?"

Mike blushed, looking away.

"You're such a boy scout, Agent Weston," she teased, smiling.

"How's that?" he asked, grinning back.

"You always want to do the right thing," she said, turning her head to look at him, "You're always respectful and polite. You're very moral."

He shrugged, "I suppose."

She leaned her head against his arm. "If you hadn't had so much self control, I think you know what we'd be doing right now."

Mike smiled, wishing that he could have had her but also kept thing going well.

"I want to keep you, Hannah," he said, "I've liked the last few days. I don't want to go back to only seeing you once a month. I want to keep seeing you more. I don't want to turn into Ryan and I don't want to lose out on you. Those are two things I'm very sure of. And if that means taking things slower and not acting so reckless, then so be it."

She considered teasing him and calling him sensitive but she knew it took a lot for him to say that.

"I know," was all she could say before kissing him.

He settled back down beside her, her hand idly on his chest. His lips fell across her collarbone.

"You know I'm not perfect, right?" Hannah asked, watching his hand on her stomach.

"Huh?" he looked up at her confused, his brown eyes setting on hers.

"I'm not perfect. From what you said, we'll be spending more time with each other and you'll get more invested. I don't want you to be disappointed," she said, stating what she thought was the obvious.

He scoffed, smiling. "You're not a stock I'm investing in, Hannah. And no one's perfect. I don't expect you to be."

She rolled her eyes, smirking. "I know, but I you need to be aware that I'm not flawless."

"So tell me," he said, kissing her gently, "What are your flaws, exactly?"

Hannah rolled her eyes, not meaning to shed light on them all, but she had brought that up.

"Well," she started, "I don't have near as much self control as you do."

He chuckled. "Not everyone can be a boy scout. But go on."

"I let the trash pile up before taking it out, I eat ice cream after brushing my teeth, and when the sign says take only one sample, I sometimes take two," she said, blushing.

Mike rolled his eyes. "Those aren't even that bad."

"I know," she smiled, "and I also tend to deny if anything is wrong… I try to be in denial as much as possible. I don't like admitting to anything."

He laughed. "Sounds like someone I know."

"Exactly," she said, knowing he was referring to Ryan, "It's a big flaw."

"So if I asked you if you liked what we were doing earlier, what would you say," he asked, curious.

She winked. "I'd say it was okay."

"Oh really," he asked, grinning, hand sliding over her stomach. "Just okay?"

Hannah smiled. "Maybe on the side of good."

The way she looked at him, with that glint in her eyes and her soft skin under his hand made him remember what it felt like to be kissing her earlier. He remembered the way she felt pinned under him, her body warm against him.

He could remember the way she groaned under his hands, under his lips. He could remember the way she felt shuddering against him. He remembered how hard it was to stop.

She could see his eyes darken and his breath became shallow. His eyes were predatory and it excited her. She could feel her cheeks flush.

His hand tightened over her hip and she could feel her breathing deepen, eyes fixed on his.

No, he told himself. They can't… he already told her why they can't… No… he couldn't be reckless…

He felt her hand slide across his chest and over his shoulder, her eyes waiting.

She bit her lip.

"Fuck it," he growled, hips already moving over hers, mouth meeting hers breathlessly.


	11. Chapter 11

He told himself that he had to be careful with her, that he didn't want to lose out on her… but he couldn't help himself.

Once their mouths met, he forgot about anything else but how much he wanted her.

It had been so good with her. The way her hands felt on his shoulders, her breath in his ear. The way her back arched to him, wanting all of him. The way her body felt against his, warm and smooth.

The way she'd called his name. The sound she made in his ear as she'd come undone.

He loved it.

It all came back to him as he woke up, curled in bed with her, legs tangled and her head on his chest.

He smiled when he remembered the other night when he wondered if her hair would tickle his chest if they laid in bed together. It did, just a little bit, but he didn't mind.

She was tucked comfortably against him, still asleep, and completely relaxed. He'd slept better than he did the night before, her warmth keeping him asleep. They'd fallen asleep after they finished last night and he'd woken up, still naked with her.

He smiled, arm around her and keeping her close. He hadn't laid in bed with a woman in a very long time.

She sighed against his chest. He could feel her stir.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he said warmly.

Hannah laughed, eyes still closed. "You know, you're starting to cut into my sleeping time."

He smiled. "At least I got you in your bed this time."

He could feel her blush. "How'd you sleep?"

She leaned up, putting her head higher up on his shoulder. "Good. I always sleep well."

Mike kissed her forehead. "I'm glad. I would apologize for keeping you up but I'm not sorry."

"Neither am I," she said teasing, meeting his eyes. He was happy that she was relaxed and carefree, not awkward or uncomfortable laying with him after what they'd done.

He sighed, stretching, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She didn't have a habit of sleeping in bed naked with men but she didn't mind this.

"You're not such a good boy scout after all," she smiled, satisfied.

"No one can be perfect, right?" he grinned, hand snaking down her back.

Hannah smiled, closing her eyes and snuggling close to him. They slept next to each other two days in a row now and she was getting used to waking up to the smell of him. She liked it.

While she'd understood why he stopped last night, she was still happy he'd changed his mind. She'd very much enjoyed herself. Sleeping with him hadn't changed how she felt about him and she certainly didn't regret it. Mike was a wonderful friend and sleeping with him had been great.

"I'm surprised that your phone hasn't rung yet," she said, checking the time.

Mike thought about it, realizing he had indeed not heard it go off either…

He reached down off the side of the bed for his sweatpants, pulling them on and seeking out his phone in the kitchen.

He picked it up, praying he didn't have ten missed calls from Mendez…

He pressed the home screen, worried he'd have to leave her like this, feeling like a complete ass…

Nothing.

No calls, no texts, no voicemails.

He smiled in relief. Finally, an unspoiled moment.

"Nothing," he said, coming back to the bedroom, "That's a first."

Hannah smiled at him, still cozy in bed, wrapped in blankets, her long hair under her on the pillow.

He felt so at home in her apartment, feeling like seeing her in bed was something so normal, so reassuring. He felt easy moving about there.

He sat on the edge of her bed next to her, arm behind her as he leaned against her.

"What are your plans for today?" he asked, smiling.

She shrugged. "I got most of my stuff done yesterday. Sundays I usually lay around or go to the farmer's market downtown."

"Didn't you go yesterday?" he asked, feeling proud that he remembered what she did yesterday.

Hannah smiled, noticing it, too. "Yes, the one I went to yesterday just has produce. On Sunday's there is another one downtown and that one is more like a craft fair. They have more local businesses and more of a selection. They have all kinds of cool local artists there, too."

"Hmm," Mike said, thinking. It seemed like a very Hannah place. "Would you mind if I joined you?"

She smirked, her eyebrows rising. "You'd want to go?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I hardly ever get to go do anything fun or anywhere different. I'm always either at work or at crime scenes- which are different, but definitely not fun."

"Alright then," she said, sitting up, the sheet covering her breasts. "I'll make us breakfast before we go. Otherwise we'll be tempted by all of the food trucks there."

Hannah got up, sliding out of bed and he watched her walk across the room, completely comfortable and still naked, to her dresser.

She pulled out a pair of panties and a t-shirt and started to put them on. His eyes, naturally taking in the sight of her, fell upon her scars.

The one on her shoulder went diagonally and the one on her hip horizontally, but yet they looked identical in nature. He'd assessed far too many wounds and scars. He'd had a whole unit at Wesleyan about profiling killers based on their victim's wounds. Even with Joe Carroll, every incision, every puncture was for a reason.

Hannah was pulling on her sweatpants, looking up at him with hair in her eyes when he asked her.

"What are those scars from?"


	12. Chapter 12

She hadn't been caught off guard by his question. She'd been asked the same one for many years.

She knew people always looked and she'd caught a few staring. Strangers would sometimes ask. If she was at the beach or wearing a tank top, the questions would come faster.

In college, her friends didn't ask for a long time. They thought it'd be rude to ask so they pretended like they didn't stare, but they did. Her scars were very obvious.

When she smiled at him, he hadn't expected it. He expected her to glare at him, to shut down and tell him it wasn't his business. Perhaps it'd brought back a horrible memory… something she'd suppressed but still held the painful reminder.

She stood up, flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

"I'll start breakfast," she said, starting towards the kitchen, "And I'll tell you."

Hannah opened the fridge, taking out milk, eggs, flour, blueberries, and orange juice. Mike sat quietly at her breakfast bar, watching her effortlessly make breakfast, not phased by having slept with him the night before and not uncomfortable by his question.

"If it's too personal, you don't have to tell me," he said carefully, remembering that it might be in bad taste to ask her.

She shrugged, getting out a mixing bowl. "It's not that personal. I'm used to explaining it."

She cracked the eggs into the bowl, tossing the shells away.

"So," she started, paying attention to what she was doing, eyes focused, "They're from a car accident from when I was 17."

She poured in the flour and milk, whisking, eyes finally back up on his.

"My brother and I were going to the lake and some guy pulled out in front of us on the highway. The police said he'd been drinking. Anyways, Adam swerved hard to avoid him and it made us flip. Eight times until we hit the guardrail in the median. The other guy was all right, he hit a tree and broke his wrist. Adam broke three ribs, his arm, his leg, and his collarbone and spent six weeks in the hospital. He has a scar on his cheek from the glass. I just got cut up by the seatbelt. I was wearing a tank top and shorts. The seatbelt did its job, but the surgeon said that because it was against exposed skin and we flipped so many times, it cut the skin open badly. Adam was worse because he saw it coming and tensed. I didn't even see it so I didn't have time to react. Apparently car accidents are better if you don't see it coming," she said, sprinkling the blueberries into the bowl and turning off the stove.

"Wow," Mike said, almost taken aback by how easily she spoke about it. Then again, she'd said she was used to talking about it.

"I know," she said, pouring the batter into the skillet on the stove, "We were really lucky."

He shook his head. "No, I mean, wow… that must've been a really bad accident."

She shrugged, turning back to him. "Yeah, but we all made it out of there safely. We were all really lucky that it hadn't been worse."

Hannah cut up some cantaloupe from her counter and placed the cut pieces into bowls.

"It doesn't bother me to talk about it," she said, spatula in hand, "It's not like it's a horrible, tragic story or anything."

She set down the plate of blueberry pancakes in front of Mike, setting his bowl of cantaloupe down with it and pouring his orange juice.

He was actually relieved that her scars weren't from some horrible tragedy. He'd seen enough people ruined by bad people. He was relieved that she didn't have any kind of knowledge or experience with the kind of people he dealt with.

"You thought they were from something worse, didn't you?" she asked, forkful of her own pancakes.

He nodded, mouth full. "In my job, everything comes from something worse."

She agreed. "Yeah… like your scars."

Mike drank his orange juice. That's what he'd been worried about: that her scars held stories like his. Pain like his. He hadn't wanted that for her.

"What did your parents say after all of that?" he asked, curious about the rest of her family.

She shrugged. "My dad freaked out. It really hit him hard that the accident could've been worse. He's an emotional kind've guy."

He swallowed. "What about your mom?"

Hannah hadn't been asked about her mom in a long time. "She died when I was 8."

"Oh," Mike said, stammering, he felt guilty for asking, "I'm so sorry…"

Hannah shrugged. "It's okay… I don't really remember her. Which is weird… you'd think at 8, I would have a lot of memories of her."

Mike set down his glass, treading carefully. "Sometimes traumatic events can cause repression of memories, like the pain of losing someone is so much that the brain stops you from even thinking about them… How'd she die?"

She rinsed off her plate. "Breast cancer. She was in the hospital a lot and I don't think she wanted us to see her like that… That's probably why I don't remember her."

"And why your dad reacted so strongly at the thought of losing you guys," he said, "Do you have any other siblings?"

She shook her head, "Just Adam."

Mike looked down, feeling that he'd entered too-personal territory.

"Anyways," she said, smiling, "I'm glad you asked about my scars and my mom and now you know. How are your pancakes?"

He grinned. He'd demolished them and started on his cantaloupe. "Very good, thank you."

Hannah smiled. "Good. Think we can be ready in twenty minutes for the farmer's market?"

He nodded. "Definitely. We have advanced degrees in the art of getting ready in twenty minutes."

She laughed. "Give me your plate and I'll meet you downstairs in twenty."

* * *

Hannah had actually beaten him. She'd already been waiting when he met her on the steps outside.

"Still within twenty minutes!" he proclaimed, closing the front door behind him.

She laughed.

"I'm not arguing!" she said, standing up from where she'd been sitting.

This morning was warmer so she wore shorts with sandals and a sweater. The sweater was striped and was her favorite. She'd worn it so many times that the neck had been stretched so much that it nearly fell off her shoulder if she wasn't careful.

Mike joined her on the sidewalk, putting on his sunglasses. As usual, he was in jeans but now wearing a green shirt that looked soft and made his hair look even more blonde.

She liked seeing him in normal clothes, not whatever he wore to work. It was nice seeing him in the sunlight for once, too.

He fell in step next to her, walking lightly. Hannah almost never saw him this happy or easy going.

"So," he said, "How do we get to this farmer's market?"

"It's not that far," she answered, "It's a bit of a walk, but it's a beautiful day. We could take the subway if you want."

Mike shook his head. "Nah, let's walk. It's really nice out and I could use some fresh air."

She smiled and he followed the way she led.

He wondered what a life she must have: running errands on Saturday and then leisurely walking to the market in Sunday. What a life to have such carefree weekends…

He really did need to make more time for things like this. Hannah was right. Being in the FBI was going to kill him. If he didn't do anything about it, that would be the truth.

Hannah considered striking up a conversation but Mike looked like he was deep in thought and she let him stay there. She loved walking and usually fell into thoughts herself.

She was happy to be spending so much time with him. Tomorrow was Monday and it would end. They would both be back to work and he wouldn't be home until late. Not that she expected to see him… but if she did, it wouldn't be until very late in the evening. During the week, however, she just couldn't do it.

As much as she loved their late nights, she couldn't do it every night. She couldn't do it during the week and make a habit out of it. She needed sleep and needed to be fully functioning at work the next day.

Unfortunately, their time together, though wonderful now, would be getting cut.

She knew that they'd plan for dinner a night or two but she also knew that he wouldn't be able to make it. She'd have to set limits with him somehow… like if it was after ten, then she couldn't see him.

But then she'd never see him at all… maybe not until she could stay up late on the weekends…

_No_, she told herself,_ I'm thinking too far ahead. We just spent the last few days together… one day at a time… I will not start thinking that he'll come home at night and want to see me anyways. We'll figure it out if it comes to that._

When they got to the farmer's market, Mike had been surprised that the walk hadn't seemed that far. He'd been too caught up in thoughts to notice they walked for nearly half an hour.

Hannah had been true to her word. There were food trucks, vendors, artists, music coming from somewhere in the back, and lots of people. And she'd also been right, people did stare at her scar.

Her sweater had fallen slightly out of place and he could see the scar on her shoulder. Other people noticed it too and looked. Hannah, however, didn't seem to notice them, instead looking about the market to where she wanted to visit first.

Mike walked with her, falling behind her if the crowd was too much, and then beside her when the crowd thinned out.

She wanted to see vendors who made their own hot sauce or honey from their own beehives. Mike took interest in the art made entirely out of bottles or the signs carved from driftwood.

They made their way through the market, pointing out vendors that the other might like, taking their time to see everything.

He noticed the way her eyes lit up when she saw something she liked. She explained to him that she loved local businesses and craftsmen. She liked the idea of knowing where everything came from and supporting the local people.

She explained that home was a small town in Missouri where everyone knew everything about you and almost everything was grown locally. She told him how she and Adam used to steal corn from the neighbor's field for dinner and that no corn had ever tasted as good.

"Do you get home often?" he asked as she inspected a bar of handmade soap.

"Since I get so much time off for breaks, yes. I go home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then for time in the summer," she said, deciding that she didn't need a bar of $15 soap, even if it was handmade.

"I would ask if you get home often but I already know the answer to that," she said, adjusting her sunglasses.

Mike chuckled. "Yeah… but I wouldn't go home often even if I had the chance."

"Why not?" she asked, eyeing the kettle corn.

"I'm only close with one of my brothers. I don't have much tolerance for the rest of my family," he said, putting his hands in his pockets, "They infuriate me."

Hannah smiled, eyes on the next booth that sold real Canadian maple syrup.

Mike thought about how easy being with her was like… She didn't press him to make small talk if he was silent. She didn't rush him if he was looking at something and she was ready to move on.

He was relieved that she had still acted like herself after last night and this morning. People tended to act differently after sleeping together or after sharing personal history.

Hannah was still herself. So confident in who she was and in control of her life. He wondered if her denial stemmed from losing her mom. She tried to act like she was okay and that losing her and the accident hadn't affected her. She tried to act like nothing bothered her. She tried to act like she was fine all the time. She acted like she was in control of everything in her life.

He wondered if anyone ever told her that she didn't have to be strong all the time.

They checked out the food trucks and his phone buzzed in his pocket.

As always, his stomach dropped. He hated the sick relationship he had with his phone.

He took his phone out and checked it. Mendez had texted him.

"Shit," he said unbelieving reading it.

Hannah turned, knowing immediately. "Is it bad?"

"I…" Mike stammered, "I have to go."

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck_

He started to back up, ready to run to the nearest subway station. "I'll call you okay?"

Hannah nodded. The other calls hadn't been like this…

Mike had always been annoyed or angry when he'd been called in… this was different. She'd heard the panic in his voice.


	13. Chapter 13

It had been hours before Mike had called her. She tried not to worry but she did. His tone made her worried. Something was wrong. She didn't like it.

"Hey," he'd said, finally calling, "Mendez confronted me about that picture. I told her it was Joe Carroll and she blew me off. She hinted that I'm unstable and that everyone would understand if I just went home."

Hannah cringed. "_Are_ you unstable?"

"No," he scoffed, "Probably. Definitely. Everything about this case makes me unstable. I know that I can't think clearly and I just react but I can't walk away from this."

She sighed, hoping he didn't hear her. But she heard something else.

"Mike, are you driving?" she asked, hearing a strange noise in the background.

He was hoping she wouldn't ask… he didn't want her to know. Reluctantly, he told her.

"Yes… I'm driving to Connecticut," he said carefully.

"Why?" she asked, knowing she wouldn't like the answer.

"Because Ryan called me and asked for my help…finally" he said, preparing for a fight, "Joe's there. And the rest of that wacko family."

Hannah held her breath. This was serious. "The rest of the FBI is going, too, right?"

Mike thought about lying to her, making her feel better about it. No… he'd have to tell her the truth no matter how bad it was.

"No… it's just me…" he said, already telling her why, "The FBI is compromised. Someone exchanged Joe's DNA for his brother's and that person is still leaking information out. No one there can be trusted… I have to go by myself."

Hannah swallowed. He was going to get himself killed. He'd really gone off the deep end. This was exactly what Ryan Hardy was doing that made Mike furious.

"Dammit, Mike," Hannah groaned quietly.

"I know," he sighed, "I have to help Ryan… It'll probably end my career but I have to help him.

"Try and be careful at least," Hannah said, head in her hands, "Let's try to not repeat history again… You know I hate hospitals."

Mike scoffed. "It won't be me who gets hurt."

There was something like a sickening promise in that.

Hannah closed her eyes. "Don't let anything escalate…"

Mike grit his teeth. "No promises."

He knew how bad his temper had been. He had been calm and collected last year, the voice of reason. But now… after everything, he was a loose cannon. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold back if he got his hands on Joe Carroll or any of the others. He knew he'd release all the rage and frustration he'd held for the past year.

He was becoming Ryan Hardy.

"Look, I'll call you when it's over," Mike said, annoyed.

He hadn't waited for her to respond when he hung up. He knew this was going to be bad.

Hannah put her phone on the counter, hands in her hair. Mike was going to get himself killed. But she couldn't help him. There was nothing she could do for him to see it.

She could hear him becoming distant on the phone. He was losing touch with his moral center. He was a good, normal person outside work… but when it came to dealing with Ryan Hardy, Joe Carroll, and the followers, she wasn't sure what he was capable of.

Regardless, whatever happened today wouldn't be good, she was sure of it. She was just hoping she wouldn't have to see him in the hospital again.


	14. Chapter 14

It was after eight when she heard a knock at her door. Jumping up, she was hoping it wasn't an officer coming to notify her that Mike had been killed. Or worse, Ryan Hardy coming to tell her himself.

She opened her door, breath held, waiting for the worst.

Mike stood there, hands in his pockets, cold, distant, and covered in blood. He looked like he'd snapped.

He saw Hannah's eyes widen.

"It's not my blood," he said, pushing past her into her apartment. She closed the door behind him.

He looked dangerous, ready to fight, annoyed. It made her nervous.

"What happened?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to be in the same room with him. She didn't know this person. His presence didn't even feel the same.

He turned away from her, angry.

"It was just me, Ryan, and Max… we got one of the twins and tried to trade him for Joe... We went after them and I shot one of them but he still attacked me. The rest of them got away. We thought we'd gotten Joe… but he wasn't there."

His story didn't make much sense… he'd left out parts. He was furious. He wasn't thinking clearly.

"That's where the blood came from," she said, her skin crawling knowing that he was standing in her apartment, covered in someone else's blood… someone he'd killed.

"Even after he was down, I kept hitting him," he said, eyes wild, "I couldn't stop."

He turned, knocking her lamp off the end table, shattering it. "Max had to stop me. She looked at me like I was a monster."

He took a step towards her and she backed up.

"You think I am, too?" he growled, "Yeah, I _am_ unstable. Ryan sees that now, too. He knows what he's turned me into. Surprise, you were right, I _am _turning into Ryan Hardy."

He was so detached and it made her nervous. She'd never seen him like this before.

He looked to the lamp he'd broken. "Get used to this. This is how unstable I am."

Hannah blinked. He unnerved her. This wasn't like him.

"I think you should leave," she said quietly and carefully.

Mike's jaw hardened. "You don't want to be around me, either?"

"Mike," she said, unsure, "This isn't like you…"

"No, Hannah," he said confidently, "This is me now. You don't see how I really am. You see me and think that the FBI and Ryan Hardy are making me worse but I already am worse. You should've seen what I did to that guy today, Hannah. I almost killed him. I wanted to. I don't want to control my anger anymore."

She didn't know what to say. Maybe he was right… maybe this was how he really was and she only saw select good sides of him…

"You are becoming Ryan," she said reluctantly, "You're pushing me away like he pushed you away. You hated him for it but now you're doing it. And you're angry that he looks at you now like you used to look at him. Because he knows that you're losing it, too."

He didn't say anything. Now she was getting it.

"You need this to be over, Mike," she said, "All of this. Ryan, Max, Joe, all those people… that's what's eating you… The fact that it won't stop is what is destroying you. It's killing Ryan because he's been stuck in this mess for years and lost so many people to it. Now you've been stuck in it, too. When will you finally let it go? Will it take losing someone? Or will that make you go farther down this rabbit hole?"

He didn't have an answer. He wanted to say that one day he'd be done… but he didn't know if he'd walk away. He should've walked away today… after Mendez threatened to end his career. After beating Luke within an inch of his life…

But Ryan and Max needed him. Joe was still out there…

"I need it to end, Hannah," he said, "I'm desperate for it. We were so close to getting him today…"

She sighed. They'd always be so close to getting him.

"Go wash your face," she said, "I can't keep looking at you like this."

Reluctantly, he padded off towards her bedroom. She was tired of fighting with him. It was true, he was escalating.

She got some pasta out of the fridge and heated it up in the microwave, dishing it onto a plate as he came back out, face clean.

"I'm not hungry," he said as she set his plate down at his usual spot. His voice was calmer now.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not asking."

Hannah put a fork down next to his plate and took him out a beer silently.

She took a bite of her pasta and uncapped a beer for herself, too; she needed it.

She was halfway done with her food when he finally sat down and ate a bite. She didn't make eye contact with him.

After twenty minutes and a second beer for him, he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry I'm such a dick sometimes," he said, eyes on his plate.

She shrugged. "I'm starting to expect it when you come home from work."

He had any energy left, he would've smirked. _When you come home._

He had been coming home to her lately.

He looked up at her as she took his plate. She did such a good job of taking care of him. She always did.

"Thank you for taking care of me even when I don't deserve it," he said lowly.

She didn't deserve the get he worst of his attitude. Things at work and with Ryan and Joe didn't concern her. She shouldn't have to deal with it.

"I'm sorry I broke your lamp, too," he said, glancing at it on the floor.

She looked at it. "Don't worry about it. Just don't break the next one I replace it with."

He smirked. "I'll try not to."

She smiled. "Mike, honestly though… I don't know what I can do for you if you keep coming here like this… I don't know what you want me to say."

He looked down, annoyed with himself for acting like that with her.

"I know… I'm sorry… I'm cool and collected when I'm at work and with you… but then as soon as I start talking or hearing about Joe and Ryan… I get so annoyed. I'm starting to lose it, I know…" he trailed off. He didn't know what else to say.

"You know I'm always a call away and that you can come anytime you'd like, as long as it's not too late," she said carefully, "But if this gets to the point where it starts to wear on me and starts to affect me, I'll have to stop seeing you like this."

He nodded. "I understand."

"You'll still be able to talk to me about all this stuff, hell, you need to talk to someone, but I'll start separating. It's part of my denial thing. If it starts hurting me, I'll get as far away from it as I can," she said, explaining herself.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said, realizing that she was as involved in this as he was, "But I'm glad that you're still looking out for yourself and know what's best for you…"

"You know what's best for you, too," she said, defending him, "But right now that's too hard for you to do."

He nodded. That was the damn truth.

"I'm still sorry I'm such a dick," he said, still feeling bad about it.

She smiled. "I know you are. You're human. And dealing with Ryan Hardy and Joe Carroll. It's bound to happen."

He smirked. Not a good excuse at all…

Hannah checked her watch. "Mike, it's getting late… I have school tomorrow."

He nodded. He wished he could stay late again but he knew she was doing what she needed to do. He wished he had the same resolve that she did about his welfare.

"Could I stay tonight?" he asked carefully, "I promise I'll let you sleep… I have to go in to work tomorrow, too… that is if I still have a job…"

She thought about it. As much as she enjoyed sleeping alone, it would probably be better for him. She was sure he'd end up back on his computer until morning trying to find Joe.

She nodded. "I'm going to shower. And then I'm going to bed. If you're not showered and ready to sleep in twenty minutes, I'm locking the door and I won't let you back in."

He smiled. "You got it."

He was out the door and she got in the shower. She should've set harsher limits with him. She shouldn't be letting him spend the night. She should've made him stay at his place and let them have their space, especially since she had to go back to work in the morning.

But she couldn't let herself be part of the reason why he spiraled out of control. If she didn't let him stay, he'd be up all night and getting even more angry.

He said he'd let her sleep. She resolved that if he wasn't back in twenty minutes or he didn't let her sleep, she was locking him out. Turning off the shower and getting out, she promised herself that.

She brushed out her hair and picked out her outfit for the next morning, making sure her ID tag was in her purse like always.

Bushing her teeth, she noticed that he had two minutes left. She reminded herself that she was staying strict to her limit. She rinsed her toothbrush and turned off the bathroom light.

At thirty seconds to spare, Mike came through her front door, locking it behind him, barefoot.

He carried with him shoes and clothes for work tomorrow. He looked almost embarrassed as he set his things down on her bench by the window. He hoped she didn't think he was weak for wanting to sleep in bed with her again and not go back to his bed alone. More than anything, he wanted her to still know that he was the same guy. Even if he'd told her he wasn't.

As she turned out the kitchen light, he got into his side of the bed, getting comfortable.

She turned off the bedside light and he waited for her to get in beside him. He loved the feeling of this. It felt like this was normal. He liked someone else being part of day after he came home.

Hannah got into bed and turned onto her side comfortably. Her alarm was set for five. She would get seven hours of sleep.

Mike felt her still and he waited. Did she want to sleep by herself and unbothered? She said he could stay if he let her sleep…. Would laying close with him bother her? Should he stay on his side of the bed?

Truthfully, he wanted to be closer. He wanted to be close enough to smell her skin and feel her warmth… but would that bother her?

He decided to stay where he was. She didn't want to be bothered. He would stay away.

In the middle of the night, however, he woke slightly to find himself pressed against her, legs over hers and arm around her waist. She was soft and warm. Even in his sleep, he couldn't stay away from her.


	15. Chapter 15

Hannah woke up earlier than he did, silencing her alarm on the first try, prying herself out of bed and out of his arms.

She stretched, wishing she could stay in bed just a little bit longer, but the temptation was too real.

She yawned, heading into the kitchen to start her tea. It was five in the morning. She didn't need to leave until 6:15, but she liked enough time to get a comfortable start. She hated rushing.

Tea in hand, she settled onto the couch, turning the TV on to catch the weather for the day. The meteorologist said it should start off chilly but will warm up to 70 degrees by noon.

She decided on a v-neck and a cardigan. Layering was always the way to go. The morning news came on and of course the top story was still the subway murders and the escape of Lily Grey.

Hannah peeked back into her bedroom. Mike was still asleep.

She poured herself a bowl of cereal and took it back to the couch.

The news anchor said that the FBI had refused to comment about what happened yesterday and their sudden deployment to Connecticut. Some agent named Mendez said publicly that the FBI was staging a training exercise yesterday and it had nothing to do with Joe Carroll or anyone from Havenport.

Checking the time, Hannah decided to start getting ready. It was 5:45.

She set her cereal bowl in the sink and started towards the bathroom, already dreading dealing with her long, tousled hair.

When she'd gotten dressed in her black slacks, purple top, and grey cardigan, she checked the time again. It was 6:00… Mike needed to get up.

"Hey," she called to him from the bathroom, "It's 6am… you gotta get up."

She didn't hear movement and she peeked her head out, putting her necklace on.

He hadn't moved.

She grabbed his clothes from the bench and tossed them on him. "C'mon, sleepyhead, you're going to be late!"

Mike blinked away, having forgotten where he was. "Shit… what time is it?"

Hannah pinned some of her hair back, eyes on the mirror. "Six… you're going to be late."

He groaned, pulling his legs off the edge of the bed and putting his pants on.

"Cereal's on the counter if you want any," she said, touching up her mascara.

Mike stood up, pulling on his undershirt and then his long sleeve, grabbing his coat.

"Should warm up to seventy today," she said, turning off the bathroom light.

"Lovely," he said sarcastically. He caught sight of her leaving the bathroom.

For just a moment, he took her in. She looked so different somehow. He'd never seen her fully dressed for work. Every time he'd caught her it was either in the middle of the night or out for a casual day.

"You're wearing make up," he commented with a smirk.

She chuckled. "It's usually the professional thing to do. Not my fault you only ever see me at night."

Mike smirked. "Fair point. Maybe I should make a habit out of seeing you more often."

She smiled, pulling on her flats. "I thought that was the idea."

She got into the kitchen, grabbing her purse, school bag, and travel mug of tea.

"Cereal?" she asked, about to put it away.

Mike checked his watch while he pulled it on. "No thanks, I don't have enough time."

"Take this then," she said, handing him a banana, "Eat it or not, but if you don't, you'll be cranky by ten."

He took it, rolling his eyes. "Thanks, mom."

Hannah scowled at him. "You don't have to be a dick about it. Give it back, then."

He frowned. "No… I'm taking it."

"Then don't complain!" she ordered, grabbing up her keys, "Ready?"

He nodded. He'd never gotten ready for work with someone before. She had her whole routine, just like at bedtime, and she didn't seem to mind him being there for that. She didn't mind sharing her routine with him.

She locked the door behind her as they went down the stairs. He already dreaded hearing whatever Mendez was going to tell him.

"Busy day?" he asked as they opened the front door to their building.

She nodded. "Monday's are early release but that just means jamming a lot more things into less hours. I have a couple conferences after school today. You?"

Mike shrugged. "I'll probably try to lay low today… avoid Mendez as much as possible."

"I saw her on the news this morning," Hannah noted, "Apparently she's saying that yesterday was just a training exercise."

Mike chuckled. "That's what the FBI always says."

"I'm going this way. I'll see you later," she said, already turning the corner towards her school, not bothered with any kind of formal goodbye.

"See ya," Mike called, watching her head off, completely calm and confident. Happy.

He thought about her day and about how normal it would be. Busy or not, it was nothing like his job. There weren't many more normal things you could do than be a teacher.

And she was suited for it. He wished he could see her with her class. He wondered if somehow they'd look like her, like they belonged to her. He wondered what her voice would sound like when she talked to them.

He pulled out how phone and texted Mendez.

_I'll be back in my office. I'm sure you don't want me consulting anymore on the case after yesterday. If not, you know where to find me._

There. He'd done it. He'd taken himself out just a step.

But not really… he wasn't leaving the case. And Ryan and Max had better information than the FBI had… somehow.

As he entered the subway station, he shook his head clear of it all. He'd go back to his desk and mind all the work he'd forgotten about.

He realized he hadn't made plans with Hannah for later… no… he'd seen her too much and was probably smothering her. She was probably getting annoyed that he was invading her time so much. Especially after last night when he came over and acted like such a dick.

He shook his head. He had to stop coming to her and spewing all his issues on her. That was the last thing she needed after working all day.

Hannah's day, indeed, hadn't gone by easily. She had a last minute meeting in the morning, extra duty at lunch, and had sent two kids home sick.

By 11:30, she was exhausted. Her students were reading about and comparing frogs and toads, an absolute interest of 7 year olds.

A call came in over her PA system. "Ms. Evans, there's something up here for you. Can you have two students come and get it?"

_Yes!_ She thought excitedly, _FINALLY! I've been waiting for this book order for weeks!_

She sent her two strongest boys and directed her class back to their task about the frogs.

As silly as it was, she was so excited about the new book order. Her students had checked out every single shark, octopus, horse, and large cat book out of the library and they'd been desperate for more. Using her own money, she'd bought them an entire set of National Geographic magazines and books on animals.

She hadn't told them yet but she was so excited to unpack them.

The door opened and one of the boys struggled with the large box, nearly dropping it. Another student ran to his aid and helped him carry it.

She was about to scold the second boy for not helping him with it when she realized that he was carrying yet another box.

The order should have only come in one box…

The boys set them down and returned back to their seats, oblivious of what was inside them. If they'd known, there would be no way they could have focused on their work.

Hannah noticed one box was from National Geographic, but not the other.

Curious she opened it carefully with scissors, inspecting it, wondering if another company had sent her books, too.

Confused, she reached in and took out whatever it was, wrapped in clear plastic.

Some weird bouquet thing of pineapple, cantaloupe, honeydew, and grapes shaped like flowers. It was one of those edible arrangement things she'd seen on TV. They ran the commercial in the mornings when she got ready for work.

Confused, Hannah dug through the box. These were probably meant for someone else.

Grabbing the card, she read it.

_Hannah. Still sorry I was a jerk last night. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to try my best not to mess this up. Enjoy. _

She rolled her eyes, smiling. No man had ever sent her anything at school.

"Snack, guys?" she said, already noticing her kids were drooling at the sight of the fresh fruit. There was enough for each to get a stick with each kind of fruit on it and even one for herself.

The girls gave her googly eyes, wanting to ask about her secret admirer but knowing that she would shoo them away.

After school, she gave Mike a call, hoping she wouldn't catch him at a bad time.

"Hey you," he said cheerfully when he answered.

She blushed. "Thanks for the treat today. My kids and I enjoyed it."

She could hear him smile. "I knew they would. I figured flowers were too romantic and this way, your kids could have a snack, too."

Hannah smirked. "You guessed right."

"Anyways," he said, trying to deflect the giddy feeling he felt, "I wanted to brighten up your day and apologize again. In fact… I also wanted to see what you were doing for dinner…"

Hannah checked her calendar. This would make the fourth night in row… or was it five? Perhaps this was too much…

He could sense her thinking. "Listen, just let me bring dinner and then I'll be out of your hair, okay? Let me take care of everything for once…"

She thought about it. "I guess that would be okay…"

"Perfect," he said smiling, "I'll bring it all to your place. You actually use your dishes. I'll be by at seven."

Hannah nodded, closing her eyes. She wouldn't get her hopes up. "Okay, I'll see you then. Thanks again."

True to his word, he'd been there at exactly seven. He'd brought the take out bag and Hannah thought it was the weirdest thing to see him chipper and content, marching into her apartment victorious.

He'd finally been on time and been able to do what he said he would do. He'd avoided Mendez successfully for a whole day and had become his own hero, excited to bring Hannah dinner.

She perched at her breakfast bar, at his usual spot, and watched him. She decided to let him unpack himself, not wanting to take over and kick him out of the kitchen.

He had gotten them something simple yet classic: fried chicken, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

Hannah thought it was seriously odd to see moving about in her kitchen, not a trace of annoyance or anger that had been there the day before. She'd almost never seen him like this.

"You're quiet," he noticed, scooping out the macaroni, "Anything wrong?"

She shook her head. "No… just weird watching you put together food in my apartment…"

He smiled at her. "Now you know how I feel. It's weird having someone take care of you."

"And it's weird not to see you ticked off at this time of night," she added, "You usually come over after work pissed."

He nodded. "Yeah… I'm trying not to be like that…"

He met her eyes and she could tell he meant it. Moving around her kitchen like he lived there, knowing where everything was in its cabinet. He almost looked too big for her little space.

He grabbed her a beer, to which she was thankful for. She was hoping he wouldn't have bought a bottle of wine or something cheesy like that. She didn't care for wine and she was glad he didn't get any.

He set their plates down at her breakfast bar, hers in front of her and his next to her.

They ate in silence and she really didn't know what to say. This almost felt too normal. They'd spent the night together a few times, woken up together, ate breakfast and dinners together, got ready for their day together… why did this feel strange?

Hannah tried to ignore it, eating her chicken. Mike watched her intently. She wasn't talking.

"Is it okay?" he asked, concerned. He had hoped she would have been happy.

She nodded. "Yeah… this is just weird… we've never spent this much time together before…"

He nodded. "Is it too much? I know I've been crowding you lately… and I know you won't tell me it's too much…"

She shook her head. "No… I mean… I enjoy my time with you… this just feels… so Mr. and Mrs. Normal. You're anything but normal… I'm not used to this."

He took another bite of his mashed potatoes. "I know… I'm trying to be more normal. You deserve that much. I told you I was going to try not to mess this up."

Hannah sat back against her stool. "That's just it, Mike… I'm not sure there is a _this_."

Mike set his fork down. "What do you mean?"

She thought of a good way to say it, if there was one at all. "You don't have to do all this… you don't have to send me presents or bring me dinner… it's nice that you did… but you don't have to… I don't expect it…"

He frowned. "That's why I want to do it… I want to do the things you do for me…"

She sighed. "I know… but let's not complicate things, okay? Things are fine the way they are…"

He blinked, unsure. "Do you not want me to come by anymore?"

"I like that you come over… I'm completely fine with the way things are right now. I understand that you're stressed and you come over late. I'm okay with making you dinner and sending you back with leftovers. I told you how much I can take when it comes to hearing you vent," she said carefully.

He took in a deep breath. "Just say it, Hannah."

She swallowed. "I don't think I can be anything more than good friends with you, Mike…"

He nodded, not understanding but pretending like he did.

"Stop nodding," she said, her tone changing, "You don't get it, so don't pretend like you do. Here's the thing. I'm absolutely crazy about you and I worry about you like nothing else. I enjoy how close we've become lately and I want to keep it that way. No titles, no commitment.

"I'm not saying I want you to see other people or that I would… but with commitment comes promises. I know you can't keep any promises because of your job, I understand that. If we were to admit we were more than friends and you broke promises to me on a nightly basis and disappointed me over and over again, I couldn't deal with it," she said, honestly.

He frowned. "You know we're more than friends… you can't deny that."

She sighed. "No, I can't… we're more than just friends… but I can't be your girlfriend… or anything else with a title… I understand that your job comes first, I completely get that. But if you put a title on this and start doing more for me, I'm going to be upset when you can't keep your promises. I don't want to feel like that, not with you. So please, let's just keep it the way it is. I'll make you dinner and you come over late and spend the night."

Mike shook his head. "That's stupid, Hannah… if I care about you, I care about you, title or not. That doesn't change anything. I know I'll break promises. I know I'll be gone late. I know I'll disappoint you regularly, but I'm trying… Just let me try, okay?… I'm not pushing for a title or anything right now, anyways. I know that you'd freak out. You handle everything so casually anyways."

She looked down. She felt stupid for bringing it up. He was right… he hadn't said anything about a title. She felt like she had to say something before he said it though, especially after today.

He got up and put his arms around her as she sat, pulling her head against his chest.

"How about this," he said, offering a compromise, "We're together but no title. And that'll be the end of it. We'll keep our relationship simple and guilt free. You do at least have to admit we have a relationship. I don't think there's any way around that."

She smiled and he loosened up.

"Really, Hannah," he said softly, "I want this to work. That's fine that we keep things simple. It's easier on both of us. There doesn't have to be a title, just as long as we both know that we're together."

He kissed her forehead. "Does that work for you?"

She smiled, looking up at him. She did want to be together with him. "Absolutely."

"Good," he said, smirking, kissing her lightly, "I think this was one of our heavier conversations!"

She smiled, still feeling a bit embarrassed that she'd brought this on.

"Stop thinking about it, Hannah," he grinned, "Let it go."

She rolled her eyes. "Look who's talking."

He smiled, not letting that bother him. "I think you're a good influence on me."

"We should ask Ryan Hardy," she winked.

Mike scoffed. "I plan on keeping you away from him as long as possible."

He picked up their plates and put them in the sink. "You're already dragged into all this crap enough. But I'm sure at some point, after this is over, he'll want to meet you."

"That would be interesting," she said sarcastically. She didn't really want to meet him.

He smiled at her as he packed up their leftovers.

"Well, Ms. Evans," he said with a glint in his eye, "It is eight thirty and I am leaving now. I know you like your sleep so I'll go and be the good Boy Scout you know and love. Sleep tight."

Hannah grinned in mock shock. "Agent Weston, you're not going to spend the night again?"

Mike smiled. "Nope. Not even if you begged me."

"Really?" she said, challenging, raising off her stool.

"Really," he said, walking towards her door. He did want to call her bluff but he resisted.

Hannah followed him to the door, already wishing he was spending the night again.

"Not even if I ask nicely?" she sang, teasing.

"No," he said with a smile, "But I will take a kiss for the road."

He kissed her as she was still laughing. He did want to spend the night again but had decided to let her have her space back, at least for one night. He was more at ease after they'd had that almost difficult conversation. He admired her for putting up that barrier. He'd thought about what would happen if she demanded a title like all other women had… he knew that'd be the end of them… he could never keep promises and that's what always set things over the edge.

He was almost taken aback when she said she didn't want the title… but she knew herself… and knew herself well… She knew she couldn't handle it if her boyfriend never came home on time and always put his job first. If this was easier for her to deal with and justify, then so be it. He wouldn't argue.

She kissed him back and he considered dropping the food where he stood and taking her back to her bedroom.

No.

He wouldn't. He'd be a good boy scout tonight.

"Goodnight, Hannah," he grinned as he slipped out her door, "I'm sure I'll see you tomorrow."


	16. Chapter 16

The next day, Mike got to her door at 6:30, unusually early for him. He'd dodged Mendez for yet another day and thought he'd been lucky at that.

He would surprise Hannah by coming home early and would suggest they go out to eat. He may as well take advantage of the early evening.

He got to her door and knocked, hearing shuffling inside.

The door flew open.

"SURPRISE!" an over exuberant blonde shouted in his face.

Mike stepped back, confused, eyes wide.

The blonde's face fell. "Damnit, who the hell are you?"

"Uh… Mike Weston?" he answered, seriously confused, trying to peek around the blonde to see if Hannah was home.

She sighed. "Whatever, come in."

Blondie pulled him inside and shut the door behind him. "Not Hannah. Some guy, though."

Inside were four more women, two brunettes, another blonde, and a redhead. Including Blondie, that made five.

There were balloons and streamers and flowers everywhere. He spied a cake on the counter.

The women stared at him. Blondie rolled her eyes and introduced him. "This is…Mike Preston"

"Weston," he corrected her, smiling politely.

"_Mike Weston_?" one of the brunettes repeated, "As in... lives downstairs Mike Weston?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Yes….?"

The brunette grinned. "Hannah's told me about you."

Mike stiffened. "Good things, I hope…"

She smiled. "Very. Happy to meet you, I'm Megan."

Megan reached forward to shake his hand, the first of the group to accept him. Her entire right arm was covered in tattoos from her shoulder to her elbow. They made her look edgy but her face and smile were warm. Oddly, she wore a very feminine dress that countered all her tattoos.

Megan did the introductions and Mike took mental notes.

"This is Kaitie." The redhead. Blue dress. Cocks her head to the side when she smiles.

"Abigail," The other brunette. Tattoo on the right ankle. Hair in a long braid.

"Heidi," The quiet blonde. Purple dress. Taller than the others.

"And you've already met Kelly," Ahh. Blondie.

"She's a work friend," Megan whispered, "She's a little weird."

"Nice to meet you, ladies," Mike said, still uncomfortable being surrounded by all these women, "Where's Hannah?"

"Where indeed," Blondie, er, Kelly, interjected, "Hopefully coming any second."

Mike glanced around the apartment. "Is this-"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Kelly screamed as the front door opened.

A very confused Hannah tripped coming in the door. Dazed, she set her keys down. Kelly launched herself at her.

"Oh gosh," Hannah said uncomfortably, a little surprised to see Kelly there.

"Happy Birthday," Megan said from farther back, letting Hannah have her space.

The others… Kaitie, Abigail, and Heidi… smiled accordingly.

"Oh you guys," Hannah said smiling, "You didn't have to do this…"

Kaitie rolled her eyes. "Of course we did."

"What else would we be doing on a Tuesday night?" chimed Heidi.

"And I brought a cake," Abigail said, "Your favorite, too."

Hannah rolled her eyes, embarrassed.

"And we met Mike, too," Megan said, grinning, winking at Mike. He blushed.

Hannah's eyes widened. "Please tell me you didn't badger him."

Megan smiled. "No. Not yet at least."

Hannah approached Mike, Kelly following after her like a Labrador.

"I am _so _sorry," she said, blushing, "They can be a bit much."

"Nah, they're nice," he said smiling, "Is it really your birthday today?"

Hannah winced. "It indeed is."

"Happy birthday," Mike addressed, leaning down to kiss her, "I wish you would've told me."

Hannah laughed uneasily. "I don't really like to make birthdays a big deal."

"Exactly," Megan called from the kitchen, getting the cake ready, pretending like she didn't see Mike kiss Hannah, "You don't make anything a big deal, we have to do it!"

"Speaking of big deal," Heidi said, getting plates out, "I noticed a certain man's shirt in your bedroom… yours?"

Mike blushed and Hannah gawked.

"Shut up, Heidi," Abigail laughed, "Leave them alone."

Heidi winked. "Just making sure."

"Seriously," Abigail continued, smiling, "Stop and let Hannah enjoy her birthday. Don't be the jerk who made things awkward."

"I'm not making this awkward," Heidi said, "Just interesting. I can't help it if I have to live vicariously through all of you!"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "Please. Save it. You gossip with Abigail for an hour every night!"

Abigail nodded. "My phone bill speaks the truth."

"Just because I'm dinner date challenged doesn't mean I don't want to know everything!" Heidi whined, "Megan, tell them!"

Megan shrugged, cutting the cake. "I'm not getting involved. I tried to set you up with my IT guy."

"Megan," Abigail interrupted, "IT guys are the worst. Why did you date him then if he was so wonderful?"

Megan blushed. "He may have bad teeth."

"AND YOU WANTED TO SET HIM UP WITH ME?" Heidi shrieked, "I'm never trusting you again!"

"You said you were desperate," Megan pressed, piecing the cake onto plates.

"I know a nice cable guy," Kelly offered. Mike couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

"Well ladies," Mike said carefully, "I'll let you have Hannah to yourselves tonight. Enjoy yourselves."

He stepped away carefully. Girl talk wasn't his thing. He would let Hannah have her girl night even if it was her birthday.

"No!" Heidi crooned.

"C'mon stay," Megan pressed.

"It's her _birthday_," Abigail sang, batting her eye lashes at him.

"No, really," Hannah offered, "You can go."

Her friends overwhelmed her sometimes. She couldn't imagine what this was like for him. Woman overload.

Hannah walked him to the door despite protests from the women in her kitchen.

"I'm sorry about all that," she smiled, "I didn't know they'd be here."

"At least they knew it was your birthday," he said, happy to be one on one with her.

Hannah sighed. "I said I don't make birthdays a big deal."

"Anyways," Mike said, knowing fully well she didn't make anything a big deal, "Maybe I'll stop by for a late bite of cake later…"

She smiled. "I'd like that."

He leaned down and kissed her. "You'll stay up?"

"Yep," she smiled, putting her hand in up in mock salute, "Scout's honor!"

He grinned, kissing her one more time. "I'll see you later, then."

Closing the door behind him, Hannah could hear them in the kitchen making faux kissing sounds.

"Oh stop it," Abigail giggled.

"Spill!" Heidi begged, she was nearly bouncing.

Abigail rolled her eyes. "C'mon, let's have cake. Hannah refuses to let us sing but at least we can still have cake."

Kelly put a big candle in Hannah's slice of cake for her.

Megan winked at her as she blew it out. She knew Hannah hated big events and attention on her. She'd let Abigail and Heidi do it anyways. Kelly had been a last minute invite.

As the cake was being eaten, the women fell into discussion about Abigail's latest date and her report on it. Kelly sat quietly, not much to contribute since she only knew Hannah from school.

Megan sat patiently, wanting desperately to ask Hannah about Mike but waiting until everyone else left.

Hannah relaxed, the attention finally no longer on her. She was even more relieved when the women excused themselves at eight thirty, knowing fully well that Hannah enjoyed her sleep, as well as they all had early mornings themselves.

Megan, as always, stayed to help clean up.

As she rinsed the dishes off, Hannah noticed a new addition to her sleeve of tattoos. "Nice, is that new?"

Megan glared at her with a smile.

"What?" Hannah asked innocently, "No… I'm not talking about him."

Megan rolled her eyes. "He seems really nice."

Hannah couldn't help but smile. "He is."

"And?" Megan pressed, the dishes clinking in the sink, "What else?"

"There's nothing else to tell!" Hannah gushed, blushing profusely.

Megan pursed her lips. "Lies. Pure lies. You're so full of it. You can deny it all you want. But don't think I can't see it!"

"See what?" Hannah said sarcastically.

"That he's absolutely crazy about you," Megan winked, "I saw the way he looked at you. And he stuck around all of us for a full thirty minutes. And Kelly! Hell, she has mystical powers that drive off any man."

Hannah chuckled. "He's just a guy."

Megan rolled her eyes, drying off the plates. "Whatever. You know you like him."

Hannah looked away. "Maybe…"

Megan beamed. "I really liked him."

Hannah rolled her eyes. "You like everyone."

"Be that as it may," Megan brushed off, "I hope you let him stick around."

Hannah stiffened. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"C'mon, Hannah," Megan said seriously, "You run off every good guy for you. You find some flaw and you push them away, convinced there was nothing special about anything you had with them. You do it every time. I love you, but sometimes it's like you don't want to see yourself happy."

Hannah didn't say anything. "You know I don't do well with emotions and relationships and technicalities."

Megan rolled her eyes. "That's your defense mechanism. You lost your mom so you refuse to let anyone get close enough that you'd feel anything for them. And then that accident with Adam… you don't like getting close to people, Hannah."

Hannah pouted. "That's not true…"

Megan sighed. "You don't want to get hurt at all, that's what it is. I'm sure you love to be close with people but you refuse to admit it. Once you admit that you feel something or there's something more, you sabotage it. People aren't going to die or run away just because you admit you love them."

Hannah grumbled. "I hate that you're right sometimes."

"I'm always right," Megan smiled, "But really… let Mike stick around…"

Hannah considered telling Megan about their conversation last night but decided to keep it to herself. Megan would scold her for trying to run him off and then she'd gush that she really did like him.

"Okay, I will," Hannah offered, "Good enough?"

Megan smiled. "More than good enough. I know losing your mom was hard, even if you deny it, but you gotta start letting people in eventually."

"Hey," Hannah scoffed, "I let you in, didn't I?"

Megan rolled her eyes. "Yeah, after ten years!"

Hannah smiled. "Okay, I'll get better at it."

Megan grinned. "Good. Now I'm taking a piece of cake with me, okay? Walk me out."

After hugging Megan goodbye, Hannah felt so relaxed. She didn't often see all of her friends in one place. They were all busy, lives of their own. Megan had gotten married last year and since then it'd seemed like a whirlwind. Time had gone by so fast.

Walking back into her balloon and streamer infested kitchen, Hannah picked up her phone and a fork.

_Coast is clear._ She texted Mike, taking a big forkful of cake.

_T-10 seconds_. He texted back.


	17. Chapter 17

Hannah was munching through another piece of cake when Mike walked in the front door.

"It's safe," she called, "The estrogen level has decreased significantly."

Mike chuckled, finding her in the kitchen leaning over the counter with the cake. "Cut me a piece?"

Hannah frowned, handing him a fork instead. "Cake doesn't need to be cut. That's like eating Chinese take-out with real silverware. You just don't do it. You ruin the sanctity of it. "

Mike smiled. "I like your take on that."

"Beer?" Hannah offered, already opening the fridge. She'd had two glasses of wine, generously poured by Abigail.

He swallowed his bite of cake. "Please."

She uncapped it for him like always, setting it next to him, digging in to the cake once again.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" he asked, hoping she did.

She nodded, mouth full. "Cake and wine? It was a win-win. What'd you do tonight?"

Mike thought of a lie quickly. "Uh… did some laundry and ate some leftovers…"

Hannah looked at him suspiciously.

"No," he said sheepishly, "That's a lie… I was remote monitoring any information on Joe Carroll or Lily Gray…"

She wasn't surprised. "And yet you tried to lie to me about it!"

"Hey," Mike said defensively, "At least I fessed up!"

She smiled. "Yeah, at least there's that."

Her phone rang on the counter and she looked down at it.

"Hey," she told Mike, eyes on her phone, picking it up, "It's Adam. Why don't you go turn some music on or something really quick?"

He nodded, getting up and kissing her on the forehead as she answered the call.

Dutifully and politely, he excused himself to her living room, eyes on her entertainment system, beer in hand.

"Hey," he heard her say, "Thank you! No… dad called earlier… you're the only one who waits until the last minute… Yeah, Megan was over earlier…. I'll pass along the message…"

Mike tried not to eavesdrop but still wondered what Adam was like. Did he harbor the same sense of denial and casualty as Hannah did? Or was he the all-knowing older brother, much wiser and collected than she?

Perhaps one day he'd meet him. Perhaps Adam would approve of Mike and murmur death threats to him if he were to ever mess up with Hannah.

Mike smiled. No woman's brother had spoken to him like that yet.

His eyes settled on Hannah's bookshelf and entertainment system. He focused on everything at eye level: a usual place for favorites. He scanned through her books and into her CD's.

He smirked. He didn't even have CD's anymore. There were only a few there, certainly not her entire music collection, which would, no doubt, be on her phone or computer. He wondered if he should seek out her laptop and play something on there instead…

He caught a title as he turned and he smiled. He hadn't heard that song in forever.

Mike glanced back and saw her still on the phone. He wanted to call to her and tell her what he found, a treasure from a time so far back.

He popped it into the CD player and queued it up. It came on quietly and he stood staring in disbelief. He hadn't heard that song in so long.

He rarely ever listened to music anymore… and hearing that song made him wonder why he ever stopped… Just listening to it took him back to a time before he'd turned into this… before he was Agent Weston. That seemed like so long ago.

Just as it kicked to the chorus, Hannah was hanging up her phone, all of a sudden hearing the tune across her apartment.

She saw Mike just standing there, listening to it. She smirked. He'd made a good choice.

"Random selection or do you know the Cary Brothers?" she asked casually, approaching him where he stood, glass of wine in her hand.

Mike smiled. "I can't believe you have this…"

She smiled. Surprised he knew _Blue Eyes_, and even more surprised he knew the Cary Brothers. "Of course. They're great."

"I'm just surprised you even have CD's anymore," he teased.

Hannah rolled her eyes. "There's something about routines… like, this song isn't the same being played out of computer speakers… it only sounds right coming from a CD… you know, taking it out of the case, putting it in, and waiting for it to start…"

He smiled. "Kind've like Chinese food with plastic forks?"

She nodded, taking a big gulp of wine. "Exactly like that. It's like… taking it in how it was meant to be."

Mike smirked. "I get that."

"It's like having the same meal on every Christmas day," she continued, "It's how it's supposed to be."

Mike thought for a moment. "Is that why you don't like making a big deal out of your birthday? Because it was never the same after your mom passed?"

He watched her face falter for a second and he thought he'd struck a nerve. Perhaps that'd been too assuming of him…

She took a deep breath. "No… that's not it… To be honest, I don't really remember a lot of birthdays when my mom was around. But then after she was gone, birthdays and holidays were really big for my dad… Like he felt he had to make them extra special for us to make up for her not being there…"

She looked at her glass of wine, swirling it in a circle in the glass. "My dad did everything for us with a smile on his face. Everything was for us. He hit the ground running after my mom died. You could tell he finally felt free. He loved her, don't get me wrong, but waiting for someone to die and not being able to move on is hard… once she passed, he was able to be super-dad. He made everything special for us.

"As a kid, you feel loved by your parents… but after losing my mom, you could tell he loved us so much more… treasured us. It's a lot of weight to feel that important to someone. And… it scared me… What would my dad do if we hadn't made it out of that accident? I don't like making my birthday a big deal because it reminds me how important I am to a lot of people… and that idea… the fact that there's more than one person who celebrates the fact that I'm still alive for another year is sometimes a little heavy for me," she said, shuddering, "Especially since I have a difficult time with emotions."

She looked up, meeting Mike's eyes, feeling embarrassed.

"That's bad, isn't it?" she asked, "Most people love their birthdays and want to feel loved by a lot of people…"

He smirked. "You're not most people, Hannah."

She smiled. "Ain't that the damn truth."

Mike grinned, taking another swig of his beer.

"Thanks for not making my birthday a big deal," she said gratefully.

He nodded. "After everything we've talked about, I know you do everything casually."

Hannah scoffed, feeling a little exposed. "You've found out a lot of things about me recently. I'm always the one spilling it all. You should be the one talking, for once."

Mike smiled. "Not a half bad idea…"

She smiled, feeling the effects of her wine.

"So," she said, sinking down to the carpet below her, sitting cross legged, "Where do we start?"

He smiled. Her sitting the middle of her living room floor instead of the couch was such a Hannah thing to do. Grinning, he sank down next to her, one leg crossed under him, one leg bent upright, balancing his beer on his knee.

"What would you like to know?" he asked, getting serious.

Her expression was playful as she thought. "Hmm… this feels very 20 questions… let me see… I have an idea…"

He watched her intriguingly. "Which is….?"

Her face grew serious. "You can profile people, right? Profile yourself…"

Mike smirked. "What?"

Hannah watched him intently. "Tell me about yourself… and your profile… what are the important things about you? Things that make you who you are…"

He stiffened, thinking about it. He thought about telling her no and changing the subject… but maybe… this may not hurt.

She'd told him about the accident and about her mom… and for as closed off as she was… that was a big thing…

She'd given him a piece of her when she'd done it… she deserved the same from him.

He could give her the profile of what he thought of himself… or he could give the honest to goodness profile… the things that even he didn't want to admit about himself…

"You don't have to," she said shaking her head, embarrassed, noticing that he struggled with the idea, "I'm sorry. That was probably too much. Too serious. It's late. Why don't we shower and go to bed."

Hannah smiled at him and it was all too tempting. She was giving him an out. She'd seen how uncomfortable he'd become… and she was letting him off the hook graciously.

He wanted to kiss her. To acknowledge how much that gesture meant to him.

But even more than before, he wanted to give her a piece of himself… to fill that gap that'd formed in her when she told him everything. He wanted to fill that gap and to know that they each held a piece of each other, tucked safely away.

She already began reaching for the CD player to turn it off, acknowledging her terms of surrender.

"No," he said quietly, "Leave it. I'll tell you my profile."

Hannah froze, eyes questioning. "You don't have to."

He took a deep breath. "I know… but I want to…"

Just as _Blue _Eyes started again, Mike eased back, leaning back on his elbow, ready to bare what he never readily gave.

Hannah sat next to him carefully, ready to tell him that he didn't have to one more time.

"I'm determined," he started, "Stubbornly so. I finish whatever I start. I want to be well liked and I seek the approval of superiors...

"Which stems from interactions inside my family. With three brothers, we were competitive for my dad's approval and interest. I had a hard time meeting his expectations so now I try to get approval from those around and above me. I need order and control. I like having a plan and being able to predict potential issues. I'm very loyal and dedicated to people I care about. Which all surrounds why I can't cut Ryan loose… I want his approval and I had it at one time… and now I want his trust back… I'm determined and stubborn about that."

He took a deep breath, not meeting Hannah's gaze. Talking about Ryan and his dad in the same way was difficult. He knew the connection… figured it out a while ago… but saying it out loud felt shameful.

"How's that?" he asked, turning to Hannah, self-conscious, feeling the gap she must've felt when she told him everything.

She smiled warmly. _Blue Eyes_ repeated again.

"Good," she said, "I like knowing you…"

He smiled, looking at his now empty beer. "Likewise…"

Mike looked back up at her, watching the way her hair fell over her shoulder, just skimming her scar. Her eyes were bright, glossy, dancing in the light.

He breathed and he felt closer to her than the other night, laying in bed with her.

Her lips curled into a smile, warm eyes on his, feeling bold with liquid courage. "Shower and then bed?"

He smirked. "I get to shower with you now, too?"

Hannah winked at him and then stood, hand outstretched to pull him to his feet. "I'd say you've earned it, Boy Scout."

* * *

Thank you to everyone! I'm so thrilled that this whole thing has had such a positive review! I try my best to balance between my own creative thinking, the plot of the series, and to accommodate requests and suggestions that you have! Keep in mind that I am taking every request/idea to heart and I plan to make it happen as best I can! I have an idea in the works for what will happen next but I need to see what happens in tomorrow night's episode to see if it'll work… The more you review, the faster I write!


	18. Chapter 18

The shower had begun innocently enough. Well... Not very innocently.

Hannah had started with his shirt, and then he let hers follow... They playfully robbed each other of one article at a time, grinning the entire way to the bathroom.

As she turned on the water, he swatted her nearly naked behind playfully and she'd taken his jeans as collateral.

He'd gotten into the shower first, grabbing her hand and pulling her in with him. She shrieked, the water ice cold. He reached and turned the water up for her, watching her become soaked, wiping water away from her eyes and watching her hair become darker.

He'd kissed her innocently, hands on her naked, slippery waist. She smiled at him and he felt that sense of normalcy return.

It'd felt so normal being with her... Eating with her, sleeping in bed with her, waking up with her, showering with her... She smiled at him like it was the most normal thing in the world to have him in her shower with him.

It was comforting. She made everything so casual that everything felt normal, like this could happen any day. She wasn't self conscious or anything remotely like that. She was enjoying his company and she smiled at him welcomingly.

The way his eyes felt on her, however, were different. At first she thought he was playing but as he grabbed her body wash and loofah, she could tell it was different. He soaped her up wordlessly, eyes trailing along her body, but they weren't hungry... Not wolfish nor lustful...

When she was clean and his hands had explored every curve of her, he leaned over and kissed her wet shoulder, hands along her back, eyes coming up to meet hers and she saw it. The look was soft and warm. It spoke beyond the things he wanted to do to her just then. It spoke beyond anything he'd said to her before. The look could almost wrap her up and pull her close.

Hands on his chest, she began to clean him. Warm hands sliding over his skin, touching every scar he had, wondering how he got each, wanting to kiss each and every one of them. His eyes followed her hands everywhere they went. She continued to feel that warm feeling wash over her.

And then he smiled at her.

He smiled more than words, more than appreciation and understanding, more than respect and admiration. She knew what that look was for. She felt it crack away at the wall she kept between them.

He leaned and kissed her, making her laugh and making that look he gave her deepen. The sound of her laugh echoed in the small room and surrounded him. He wanted to be used to hearing her laugh all the time.

The laugh came down from its high and the look she gave him warmed him and he almost hadn't seen it. Her eyes glittered and smiled in a way that only eyes can smile and he'd seen it. There, below everything she'd locked away, he saw a glimmer of struggle. The reconciliation between always keeping people at arms length and letting them in.

She breathed gently, any move threatening to take down everything she'd built… everything she'd done to keep herself locked away in a place that she could protect.

Her eyes met his and he felt the understanding. The mutual ground they'd fallen upon.

They'd each given up a piece of themselves and had found themselves in this place. Each with a piece of the other locked away, kept safe.

They both felt the feeling of the other, in the pieces they'd shared, in more than just words.

Her hands slid over his chest and around his neck carefully, eyes coming up to meet his. Her hands were not frantic, not full of need. She was slow, each move deliberate.

They were taking their time, something more than lust. Something more than temptation.

She touched him gently, eyes on his, giving way.

He felt her shift, physically and mentally, as she let go, gave up a piece of that hard wall she'd built up around herself. He took a piece of that feeling, that wall and the look she gave him, and tucked it away with the other pieces of herself that she'd given him.

He kissed her first and she met him in the middle, chests colliding and sliding against each other. Her arms snaking around his neck slowly to bring him closer to the hard wall of his body, bringing her closer to him.

They'd said things that hadn't been offered easily to anyone before. She told him about the accident and about her mom. He told her about his demons. It'd cost them to release those precious things, such delicate things…

There, under the spray of the water, colder than she liked, hotter than he preferred, they reached their understanding. Something beyond words, more than either could say. An understanding that spoke to each of them at their core, where they were guarded the most.

He could feel that understanding in the way her body pressed against his. In the way she breathed against his ear and the way her head tucked under his chin. He knew how much she'd given.

This felt right. This was what he'd wanted to wait for… He'd succumbed to her temptation and they'd slept together but this was why he'd wanted to wait…

This was different.

Then, as she was pressed against the wall, her leg wrapped around his hips, his forehead against hers, she began to crumble. Her wall, the one she kept so fortified, so protected, came tumbling down and she let it.

Her hands clung to him and he felt the lack in her, the space where the wall had been, empty and defenseless. He felt her shudder, holding him close.

He was there to hold her up, to rebuild that wall with something better, something stronger. Something she'd resisted so much. He knew this wall was safer, more comforting than before, something created by both of them to keep her safe and protected.

She made a sound in his ear and he knew she'd know what he'd done for her. Their understanding stronger, fortified in a new way.

He kissed her neck and eased her down, breathless.

He wanted to thank her. To tell her how much he knew she'd given up. But he didn't. He knew that would be the first brick relaid on its foundation. That wall that had crumbled could be rebuilt in the same way that she had the first time if she felt threatened, felt exposed.

But she couldn't deny it… try as she might later. She couldn't deny the shift that had begun. She couldn't deny that the wall had come down, perhaps not all the way, but a considerable amount. And it'd been rebuilt, with something better and stronger. Something she'd resisted letting take hold but now felt the difference.

She kissed him before he'd caught his breath. She seemed stronger now, more decisive. She knew what he'd done for her.

He knew what this had cost her to do, what she'd risked…

But now she held the pieces he'd given her, the secrets she'd locked away for him, hidden and fortified behind the wall they'd built for her.

He watched her smile and it was full of trust, full of understanding, and perhaps, hidden on the other side of the wall, was something more.


	19. Chapter 19

Mike had slept soundly with Hannah tucked against him, curved against his chest, back to him, his legs tangled over hers.

He held her warmth to him and nothing ever felt so comfortable.

He was vaguely aware of being nudged.

"Mike," Hannah whispered firmly.

He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. No… it couldn't be time to get up…

"Mike!" she said more firmly, "It's your phone…"

He opened his eyes to the dark, seeing something flashing a little light in front of him.

He swallowed. He'd counted himself lucky that he'd been spared from Mendez's rage since the incident. He hadn't heard from Ryan since then either…

He took his phone from her, leaning up on his elbows, ready for the proverbial shit to hit the fan.

He turned on the home screen. It was 4:45am and he had 5 missed calls from Ryan.

Mike let out a breath of annoyance, anger, and regret, turning his phone off and sitting up all the way.

"Is it bad?" Hannah asked, also disappointed by his work suddenly finding its way back in… it'd been held off long enough.

She reached over and turned on the bedside lamp as Mike got up out of bed and grabbed his pants.

"Probably," he said annoyed. He turned towards her as he pulled on his shirt.

Her hair was messy. She hadn't braided it or pinned it up the night before and now it was unruly.

He smirked. Even still, and with Ryan hounding at his heels, she still looked gorgeous.

Hannah walked him to the door groggily, rubbing her eyes. She was still tired.

He turned and kissed her before they got to the door, her momentum knocking her into him, jolting her awake.

"I'm sorry," he said earnestly. He wanted to promise that this wouldn't happen all the time… but he wouldn't say it. He wished he'd had the strength to walk away from his job… from Joe Carroll… the strength she'd had when she let her wall crumble for him.

"No big deal," she said, stretching, "We would've had to get up anyways."

He smirked. She acted so casual, like nothing had transpired the night before. She deserved so much more from him. He needed to have the same strength, the same understanding that she did…

He kissed her. She still had her guard up, the wall that'd fallen down and been built back up. It was still there, but now stronger, aided by something better than denial and grief.

"I'll try and call later," he offered, knowing she'd brush him off anyways, like she knew what she'd gotten herself into with a man who put his job first.

She rolled her eyes, smirking. "Go. Be safe…"

* * *

"Hannah," Mike said quietly. She could tell that he didn't want to be overheard wherever he was.

"Hey," she said carefully. She'd had her class go to the neighboring classroom while she took the call. Something about his voice made her worried.

"Hey… I… I'm heading to New Hampshire right now," he said, glancing at Ryan next to him, "Lily Gray had Max abducted… Ryan needs me."

Hannah swallowed hard. "You're going to save her, right?"

Mike turned away from Ryan. "I'm going to try…"

"Please be safe…" she pleaded, hating how vulnerable her voice sounded but still saying it, "Keep Ryan and Max safe, too."

Mike turned his eyes, feeling guilt and worry churn in his stomach. He considered censoring himself in front of Ryan… to not let him know who Hannah was or to hear him talk to her… but he didn't care. This was serious.

"Hannah…. Before… before she was taken… I told Mendez I was done… that I was leaving and I was going home… I told her I knew I lost it... I can't do this anymore… and I told Ryan…" he said, needing her to know, "I did it, Hannah… I'm done"

She sighed. She knew he'd done it because of what she'd done for him the night before…

Ryan watched him carefully. He'd never heard Mike talk to anyone like that… actually, he'd never heard Mike talk to anyone besides who he worked with…

Mike had said that his relationships had suffered since what happened last year… his friends and his family… Hannah must be one of those people… Someone who knew how much Mike had suffered but still wouldn't leave his job… Hannah was someone close.

"But I have to go," Mike continued, more determined, "I have to help Ryan…"

Hannah nodded. "I know… will you hand the phone to him, please?"

Mike awkwardly handed the phone to him and Ryan frowned.

"Hello?" Ryan answered, tension in his voice.

"Ryan Hardy, this is Hannah," she said, trying to hold it together, "I… Mike's going to do everything he can to help you… do everything you can to save her… Just… please keep them and yourself safe, okay? Please…"

Ryan looked down, guilty. He glanced at Mike but he wouldn't meet his eyes. The people around him never fared well… God help him, now Mike had someone who was around him… and he hoped to God that Mike wouldn't have to lose her.

"I… I'm going to try, Hannah," he said carefully, "I want you to know that…"

"Thanks," Hannah said, not feeling much better, "Can I talk to Mike again?"

Ryan handed Mike the phone. "Hey… I'm… I'm sorry, Hannah… after this, I'm still out."

She tried to smile. "I know… be safe please…"

* * *

The next time her phone rang, it was after midnight. She couldn't sleep anyways. She'd never really worried about Mike at work before… but this was different… She felt sick to her stomach.

Her phone buzzed next to her and she shot up in bed, waiting all night for it. But it wasn't Mike… it was a restricted number.

"Hello?" she asked, her heart beating wildly. _Please, God… please let everything be okay…_

"Hannah," a voice said gruffly, difficulty, "It's Ryan… Hardy…"

"Ryan," she squeaked, terrified, "What happened… Is Max okay? Where's Mike?"

She heard him sniff hard. Dear God…

"Max is okay… she's fine," he said, struggling, "Mike… Lily Gray got to his dad… she sent a video… she killed him…"

Hannah gulped. She could barely squeeze her voice out. "His dad?"

Ryan cleared his throat, trying to choke away the guilt. "She… she slit his throat… Mike saw it all…"

Hannah felt bile rise up in her throat. The wall… the wall hadn't been prepared for this.

"Where is he?" she whispered, her breath not even holding.

"He's… he's here…" Ryan said hoarsely, "Can you come?"

"Yeah," Hannah said, wiping her eyes, getting out of bed, willing her wall to stay up, to get her there, "I'm on my way… give me directions."

* * *

Ryan sat next to Mike, sick with guilt, the image of Mike's dad gurgling on his own blood on the screen in the intel room.

Mike was nauseous with grief, sobbing uncontrollably, shaking so hard. So weak that he couldn't even sit up.

Ryan had felt that feeling before… a few times before… losing Claire had felt like this… but God help him… Claire had been all his fault… This was his fault, too…

He'd risked Max and risked Mike… and he'd gotten Mike's dad killed… he'd done this… God help him, he was responsible for this. This was his fault…

Ryan heard someone running and he looked up. He saw her running, hair a wild mess, jeans and jacket thrown hastily on. He knew it had to be Hannah. She was more beautiful than he'd thought.

She fell to her knees in front of Mike, her eyes watering, lip quivering. Eyes squeezed shut, he knew it was her, burying his hands into her hair and pulling her to him.

He sobbed against her and she couldn't hold it back. She couldn't remember crying at her own mother's funeral… but her wall couldn't hold it this time… She broke down, shaking, Mike's skin cold on hers. Seeing him like this, hurt like this, pain like this, tore her open.

It had been everything she'd ever tried to avoid in herself… and she couldn't spare him. Her wall could barely contain her, she couldn't do anything to protect him, too.

Ryan started to get up. Hannah was there… she would be better comfort to Mike than he… He was the cause of this… he shouldn't be there.

A hand gripped his as he stood and he looked down. It was feminine and shaking. It was Hannah.

She pulled him back down to sit with them, hand still shaking. She never even looked at him, her attention all on Mike, but still needing Ryan there.

Feeling his own tears start to brim, Ryan sat down, knees weak with guilt. He owed Mike as much as he could offer.

They sat there for hours as Mike sobbed, head on Hannah's shoulder, her kneeling between his knees, holding him up, Ryan's hand in hers.


	20. Chapter 20

It was near four in the morning when Hannah finally got Mike home, letting him sag into her bed, too tired and too full of grief to help her.

Ryan had called the police and Mendez issued a field team to Mike's dad's house in Virginia. They'd given them Hannah's number so they could update her.

Ryan drove them back to her apartment and helped her take Mike upstairs, guilt weighing down each step. He waited in the living room as she pulled off Mike's shoes and jeans, pressing him back into bed. He needed to rest… he could deal with it all, or try to, tomorrow.

Hannah closed her door, coming back out to Ryan, who waited awkwardly and pale in her living room.

She pulled her jacket tighter around herself, tucking her hair behind her ears, looking exhausted. Her eyes were full of worry and concern. Ryan felt the compassion from her, the understanding. It made sense to him why Mike had been drawn to her. He felt a tingle as he thought of Claire.

"He'll want to call you in the morning," she said softly, "He'll want to know what's going on…"

Ryan nodded, not looking at her.

"Mendez and the FBI unit in Virginia have your number… they'll be calling to update you…" he continued, avoiding her eyes, "Thanks for taking him in…"

Hannah sighed sadly. "Just like last year, but worse…"

Ryan looked up, eyes questioning.

"He stayed with me after that guy Roderick nearly killed him," she said quietly, hating that Mike was nearly falling apart.

"Oh…" Ryan said quietly. That'd been his fault, too… And that'd meant that Hannah had been with Mike since last year… she'd been around that long… and Mike had never mentioned her.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking down again.

She sighed. "You know this isn't all your fault."

Ryan looked at her angrily.

"This is my fault… I asked him to come to Connecticut with me to find Joe and Lily Gray… I took him there… if I hadn't… he wouldn't have almost killed Luke… and Lily Gray wouldn't have needed to take revenge…" he said angrily, frustrated.

Hannah crossed her arms. "Mike loves his job… everyone risks something…"

Ryan scoffed. "Not like this… The job means late nights, being away, _sometimes_ being in dangerous positions… not this… this isn't the job… this is something else. This is Joe Carroll and Lily Gray."

She frowned. "You're right… this isn't the job he signed up for. You dragged him into this and got your niece kidnapped and Mike's dad killed. Is that what you want me to say?"

His eyes grew angry. He didn't want her to say that… but it was true.

"Do you want me to say that it's been you that got Mike nearly killed last year? Who got Debra killed? Claire killed? Max abducted? The reason Lily Gray killed Mike's dad?" she asked incredulously.

Mike met her eyes angrily.

She bit her lip. "If you really think you're responsible for all that either you're an absolute obsessed asshole or it's not all your fault…"

Hannah shook her head. "If you really feel that guilty, just walk away and stop getting people killed… And if it's not all your fault, stop acting like a jackass and do what's necessary to find Joe Carroll… not doing this yourself or doing it your own way."

Ryan sighed. "I can't walk away… not after all this… I need to be the one to get him. I need to be the one to kill him."

She rolled her eyes sadly. "And what after? What happens when Joe's dead but Lily Gray continues her rampage? And then when she's dead and her wacko kid starts? You can't let go, Ryan…"

Hannah looked sideways at her closed door. "Mike's becoming you. He can't let go either…"

Ryan stuffed his hands in his pockets. "He was leaving, Hannah… he wanted to go and he'd asked for it… he'd had enough… he was finally getting out… He couldn't live like this anymore…"

She looked down. "No chance of that now…"

Ryan thought about telling her that men like them would never truly let go… that they would always be on the hunt, always searching… but he hoped that wasn't true for Mike. He hoped that Mike would let go, especially after this, and stick to his guns about being done with it…

But then Lily Gray slit his father's throat… When Claire died, Ryan had come back with a vengeance… he knew Mike would, too.

He shook his head, trying to make the idea vanish forever.

"I've uh… there's a squad car outside and another down the street," Ryan said, not meeting her eyes, shifting uncomfortably on his feet, "They'll be checking in on you every few hours."

Hannah nodded, Ryan already walking to the door.

He turned as he opened it. "Take care, Hannah… take care of Mike."

"Take care of yourself, Ryan," she said, knowing he wouldn't, "Watch out for Max…"

Ryan nodded briskly, not meeting her eyes, and left.

Exhausted and emotionally drained, she locked her front door, hesitating against it.

_Fuck…_

She looked at her closed bedroom door and her head started to throb.

She didn't know what to say… if he even wanted her to talk… if she was just supposed to listen… if she was supposed to offer advice about what it was like to lose a parent…

She scoffed out loud, shaking her head. She was not the person to give advice on something like that…

Swallowing and taking off her jacket, she opened the door to her bedroom, shutting off the rest of the lights in the kitchen.

"I really was going to leave," Mike said weakly from the bed, disbelief in his own voice.

She sighed, taking off her shoes. "I know, Mike…"

"I was… I told Mendez… and I told Ryan… I'd had enough," he said hoarsely, "I was done…"

Hannah peeled off her jeans, climbing into bed with him, wondering if he wanted to be close or if she should go sleep on the couch…

"I'm so fucking sick of all this," he said roughly, "I'm so fucking sick of finally getting somewhere… and then losing it all…"

She reached her hand out and it put it on his shoulder, expecting him to withdraw immediately. Instead, he lay closer, still not touching her, but close enough to feel her warmth.

"I thought being nearly killed was bad… that losing Debra was all I could take… and then… almost killing Luke… I was done… I couldn't handle any more… I was going off the edge… and then Max… God… thinking that Max could be tortured and killed…" he choked, "And when the second video came… I… I got so scared… I thought it could be you I saw on there… and… it was my dad…"

Hannah closed her eyes, wishing she could do something that he could avoid all this.

"I wasn't ready… I wasn't ready to see someone I loved there… to see him tied up, and then…" he struggled, "I can't do this anymore…"

Her breath was warm on his skin and he wanted to wrap himself in it.

"I can't even think…" he said shakily.

She hated this. He'd been through too much, had reached his final tipping point… and then this happened… he was already gone before…

"As hard as it was to impress him sometimes, I still loved the guy," Mike said, coarsely, "He was looking forward to seeing me tomorrow when I came home…"

Hannah didn't know what to say. Should she ask him to tell her about his dad? Remember good times? To say that he'll be okay? To talk about how Ryan was going to get Lily Gray? How Max was saved? She didn't know…

"You know I'm here…" she whispered, hoping it was enough.

Mike sighed, finally moving close enough for her to touch, to tangle her legs with his.

"You're always there…" he breathed, "I got so scared you were going to be on the video next… I should've had you in protective custody… and my dad…"

"You didn't know it'd come to this," she reassured, "Your dad wouldn't want you to blame yourself…"

He nodded weakly. "I know… he'd tell me to get that bitch… and not to throw my life away… He always told me to work hard but not let the job become my life…"

He laughed and it hurt her chest. "And look what's happened…"

Hannah tucked her head closer to his.

"You know," he said angrily, "I'm going to end up losing you, too…"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

Mike shook his head. "I can't let this go… I can't let Lily Gray get away with this… and you're going to leave me for going after her… for not getting out and being done… you're going to leave me…. And if you don't leave me… being with me is going to get you killed…"

Hannah breathed deep. She wanted to argue with his logic… but it did sound right… she'd already told him that she wouldn't be part of it if being with him took its toll on her… She wouldn't be able to watch him destroy his life…

And yes, possibly… staying with him would get her killed… Like Debra. Claire. His dad.

"Either way…" she said, not ready to give up on him, "I'm going to put up one hell of a fight…"

She kissed his forehead. "I'm not letting go that easily…"

Hannah felt him smile against her neck. "Dad would've liked you…"

She shifted her weight around him. It was almost six thirty in the morning.

"We'll talk more in the morning," she whispered, tucking him closer, "Try and get some sleep."

Before she finished speaking, she could feel him sag, his weight heavier, thicker. He'd been holding off sleep with grief and finally, he'd given in.

Hannah leaned her head against his and closed her eyes. "I'll be here when you wake up…"


	21. Chapter 21

Hannah woke up first and left Mike in bed, sleeping longer. He rarely ever slept… and this had drained him. She decided it was best to let him rest a little longer and put off his grief for just a few more moments.

Standing in her kitchen in leggings and an old sweatshirt that showed her scar, she braided her hair and decided to call her dad. He would know what to do. He would know what to say.

"Hey, kiddo!" he answered cheerfully on the first ring, "Have a good birthday?"

She sighed sadly. "Yeah, it was good…"

Dave sighed. "What's wrong, kid?"

Hannah scrunched her face. Her dad always knew when something was wrong and it annoyed her sometimes.

"Was I upset when mom died?" she asked awkwardly. She knew it didn't bother him to talk about her mom but she rarely ever brought it up.

She could see him shrugging. "You dealt with grief in your own way… You were upset, but you didn't show it. You and Adam were like rocks. Guess it's just your old man who's a bowl full of jelly, huh?"

Hannah smirked. "I guess so…"

Dave swallowed. "Why are you asking?"

She took a deep breath. "A good friend just lost his dad… and I don't really know what to say…"

Dave sighed. "Oh honey… there's never anything good to say… All people think to say is 'sorry for your loss' or 'it'll get better' or 'I bet you miss them'… honest to God, it hurts to hear those kinds of things… There's really nothing perfect to say to help someone through grief like that…"

She scrunched her nose. She would've preferred an easy "Here, say this" kind of thing.

"How'd it happen?" Dave asked, curious and wondering if perhaps that would make it easier to give some advice.

Hannah stiffened. How much should she say?

"Um… he's in the FBI and one of the people he's after got to his dad and killed him… slit his throat… on tape… and he saw it all," she said, grimacing.

Dave sighed, the thought weighing on his heart. "Damn… baby girl that's a lot different than what happened to your mom… we knew she was going… we had time to prepare for it… this… aw shit… hell… how's he holding up?"

Hannah glanced back at her still closed bedroom door. "Not well… he's still sleeping…"

"At your place?" Dave asked.

"Uh…" Hannah worried for a second. She didn't want a lecture. She was a grown woman with a career and her own life… but she still desperately wanted to make her father happy- to make him still think she was an innocent kid.

"Good, I'm glad he's there," he said instead, "He needs someone during this. Grief… it'll knock you sideways… it'll tear you up one side and down the other…"

Hannah sighed. "I don't know what to say to help him…"

She could hear him smile. "Baby, sometimes you don't need to say anything at all…"

She took in a deep breath. She wished she could do more.

"You know," he said, thinking, "When he wakes up, have him give me a call…"

Hannah shook her head. "No… I don't think he's up for talking to anyone…"

"I'll talk to him," Mike said from behind her.

She hadn't heard the door open and certainly didn't hear him come to stand behind her. His eyes were still swollen from too much crying, weak and out of tears.

He looked numb.

"No, it's okay," she said, wanting to shield him from anything further.

Mike reached out and took the phone from her anyways, taking in a deep breath.

"Hello?" he said, not realizing how rough his voice sounded.

"Hey there, son," Dave said calmly, "Hannah told me and uh… well… I'm sure you know about Deanna… and… I know it's not the same thing but… buddy, you're gonna live… I know it doesn't feel that way. Lord, I know how it feels… but you gotta keep on keeping on, ya know?"

Mike swallowed. Dave sounded so calm, so sure… so fatherly.

"Losing Deanna was one of the hardest things that's ever happened to me… and Lord have mercy on me, but I wanted to end it all and go with her… and if it weren't for Adam and Hannah, I would've… I just didn't know how to live without Deanna… if you lose someone, you gotta see who you still have… I lost her, but thank God I still had Adam and Hannah… I still had something…

"I know it's hard to try and look past all the pain and hurt… but there is good still in your life… and there are good people… When you fall down, they help you back up… it's hard to get back up from something like this… but you will," Dave said, strength in his voice.

Mike licked his lips, mouth dry, breath shaky.

"You still there, son?" Dave asked, concerned.

"Yeah…" Mike said quietly, "I'm still here…"

"Alright then," Dave said, "You got this, son… you can handle so much more than you think."

Mike smirked. "Yes, sir."

"Chin up, son," he said, urging him on, "And listen here, you tell that daughter of mine to lighten up. Hannah's a rock. That girl can withstand an atomic bomb… But don't let her tell you that she's bulletproof… she's still scared of the boogeyman in our cellar."

Hannah scoffed, hearing Dave from where she was standing.

Mike smiled. "Yes, sir."

"Good man," Dave beamed, "Alright son, well, take care, alright? I'll talk to you soon."

"Thanks," Mike said, meaning it, "You take care, too."

He hung up and handed the phone to Hannah, his eyes brighter and breath lighter than they had been.

"I am not scared of the boogeyman," she addressed, face serious.

Mike smiled painfully. "Your dad's a nice guy."

His smile faded a bit, realizing that people used to say that about his dad… his dad had been a nice guy….

Hannah saw the change and stepped closer to him. "Breakfast?"

Mike shook his head. "I'm not hungry…"

She bit her lip. Usually she'd just fix him something and put it in front of him, demanding that he eat.

Today she wouldn't push him.

She didn't know what to say… she hadn't had to deal with something like this before.

Mike crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm so fucking angry…"

Hannah started to say "I know" but didn't. She didn't know.

He scoffed, sitting down on her couch, elbows on his knees. "Any other day, I'd be either going in to work or enjoying my day with you… and I can't…"

He rubbed his eyes, breath heavy. "This is so fucked up…"

She stood listening, still unsure of what to say.

Mike shook his head. "The most fucked up part is that I won't walk away after this… I should've walked away sooner and I was going to… and I can't now… I won't."

He looked up at her, determination in his eyes.

He laughed but it wasn't because anything was funny. "Fuck… I really am Ryan, now."

Hannah stiffened. She felt uncomfortable… but she probably would've been acting the same way if she lost someone.

Mike stood up suddenly. "I'm going to Virginia… I need to be there… go pack your bag."

She frowned, confused. "Why?"

"I'm calling Mendez and ordering protective custody for you," he said, already starting for her bedroom.

"Mike, no," she said, but he wasn't in any mood to compromise with her, "I'm not going into protective custody!"

She followed him to her bedroom.

"Yes, you are," he said decidedly, getting his phone out from where he always left it, "I'll have her order it and I won't know where you are… that way if Lily Gray gets to me, she won't know where you are."

"Mike, stop," she said, trying to grab his phone.

"No," he growled, "This is being done."

She knocked his phone from his hands and he turned to her, furious, eyes enraged.

"You don't fucking get it, Hannah. They _killed him. _They got him and they slit his throat… what don't you get about that? They took Max!" he said, angrily, "It's not safe for you here. I lost my dad because I didn't think ahead. I'm not going to let that happen with you."

He reached for his phone and she stepped in front of him. His rage was the worst she'd seen, coupled by grief and worry.

"Mike, think," she said carefully, trying to diffuse the live bomb in front of her, "If the FBI is compromised like you said… putting me in protective custody is just going to tell them right where I am…"

Mike grit his teeth.

"_FUCK_," he screamed, slamming his hand against the doorframe.

He sank down to the floor, knees bent in front of him, exhausted. He groaned frustratingly.

Carefully, she knelt next to him.

"I can't lose you, too," he said quietly, eyes on hers, "Hannah-"

There was a knock at her door- a very stern knock. She rolled her eyes, probably the police checking up on them. Or Ryan again.

"I'll go get that," she said, standing up, feeling guilty for leaving Mike sitting there but knowing he was too frustrated to move.

As she got to the door, she cursed herself again for not installing a peephole. She noticed Mike's gun on the end table but pushed away that thought. She definitely would not grab and it start wielding it at the police at her door.

Cautiously, she listened carefully. "Who is it?"

"NYPD," a voice called, "Max Hardy… I need to see Mike…"


	22. Chapter 22

Recognizing the name, Hannah opened the door slowly and tried to keep her jaw from hitting the floor.

Max Hardy was gorgeous.

"Thanks," Max said coldly as she brushed past Hannah into her apartment, not bothering to catch her name.

"Mike," Max said, catching sight of him in the bedroom doorway, "I'm so sorry…"

He looked down, hearing those words cut him open again.

She strode across the apartment to him, eyes concerned.

"If you weren't out there chasing after me…" she said, regretfully.

Mike shook his head sadly. "No… I couldn't have stopped it… and if I hadn't been out there chasing after you, The Huntsman would've killed you…"

She hung her head, large eyes obscured by dark, straight hair. "Ryan's really bad… I've never seen him like this… I've been suspended… but I'm going to help any way that I can…"

Mike looked down. "Don't ruin your career, Max."

She shrugged, smiling. "It's mine to ruin so I'll do whatever I want."

Mike smirked and Hannah could feel the tension between them, the connection. It made her realize that she wasn't the only woman…

Clearing her throat, she grabbed her jacket and shoes. "I'm uh… I'm going to go down to the bakery…."

"Oh," Mike said, realizing he hadn't introduced them, "Max, this is Hannah."

The look on his face made Hannah think that he'd wanted to add the label of what she was…

"_This is Hannah… my girlfriend."_ No.

"_This is Hannah… my friend."_ No.

"_This is Hannah… we've been sleeping together."_ No.

So he'd left it like that. "This is Hannah."

"Hey," Max said coldly, barely tossing her a glance before looking back at Mike.

"Nice to meet you," Hannah said begrudgingly, not really meaning it. She preferred Ryan over Max already.

"I'll be back in a bit," she said, suddenly wanting to be out of that apartment.

Mike stepped towards her, away from Max. "Ask the officer downstairs to walk with you… I don't want you going anywhere by yourself."

Hannah frowned. "No… I'll be fine."

"Hannah, I-"

"For fuck's sake," Max said annoyed, "I'll walk with her. I'm leaving anyways."

Hannah wanted to tell her to back the fuck up but she didn't… not wanting to start a pissing contest with this clear alpha female.

She rolled her eyes, feeling like a child as she waited for Max to say goodbye to Mike.

Outside, Hannah quickened her step, getting ahead of Max towards the bakery.

"So what's the deal with you and Mike?" Max asked shamelessly.

"Excuse me?" Hannah asked, not really caring what Max wanted to know.

"Are you guys fucking or what?" Max asked dominantly, casually.

Hannah glared at her. "That's none of your business."

Max nodded. "Ah, so that's a yes."

"Why do you care?" Hannah asked, annoyed.

Max smiled, shrugging. "Just trying to figure everything out."

Hannah didn't respond to that. This woman's bluntness irritated her. Hannah knew she was just as blunt and honest, definitely as casual, but wasn't a jerk about it.

"Alright, fine," Max said, conceding, "Sorry I'm so rough. I'm pissed that Lily Gray had me abducted and tried to have me killed… but going after Mike's dad? That's messed up…"

Hannah didn't acknowledge that. She knew there was something more to why Max was so cold to her.

"And?" Hannah said, unconvinced.

Max smirked. "Fine… I've been used to it being just me, Ryan, and Mike… I didn't realize that there was someone else involved… I don't usually play nice."

Hannah stopped outside the bakery, turning to face Max. "Anything else?"

Max chuckled, stepping away. "Yeah… My uncle told me you called him an obsessed asshole… nice."

Max smiled at her genuinely before stepping out onto the street back towards where she came from.

Stepping inside the bakery, Hannah was annoyed. Max Hardy was a pretty girl jerk. She bet it was because she had to prove herself a lot in her department. Cops don't usually like female cops… especially not pretty ones. And being Ryan Hardy's niece? Hell… she had her work cut out for her.

Hannah shook her head of it. Max Hardy earned her attitude. Hannah hoped she didn't seem that abrasive to anyone she talked to.

When she got back into the apartment, Mike was immediately annoyed that she'd come back alone.

"Max didn't walk you back?" he asked, frustrated.

Hannah shook her head, happy about that. "No, we went out separate ways at the bakery."

Mike rolled his eyes. "She doesn't listen very well…"

She scoffed, taking her muffin out of the bag and sitting down at her breakfast bar. "She's a little abrasive."

Mike smirked. "Yeah… sorry if she was a little rough."

Hannah shrugged, swallowing. "I'm a big girl. She doesn't scare me."

She held up a bagel to Mike, hoping he would eat.

He hesitated and took it, meeting her eyes.

"Heard anything?" he asked carefully, taking a bite.

Hannah glanced at her phone. She'd had fifteen calls and ten messages between Mendez, the locals, and the FBI field office in Virginia. They'd found plenty of evidence at Mike's dad's place… Lily Gray didn't care about covering her tracks now.

"Lots of evidence… but no sign as to where they are now…" she said regretfully, "Don't worry… they'll get them…"

Mike nodded. "Yeah… I know… I need to be getting down there…"

Hannah nodded. He should… he should be there for the rest of his family… a family she hadn't heard much about…

"I want to go…" Mike said, looking down, "But it's easier to pretend it didn't happen when I'm here… I'm so mad… I'm going to lose it when I see my dad's house…"

Hannah swallowed a bite of her muffin. She knew that'd be the worst for him… facing the place where it happened… Mike had already been put through the meat grinder… and now this…

"Anything I can do for you?" she asked, hoping he'd tell her something.

He shook his head. "Nah… I gotta sort through this myself… I gotta keep my feet on the ground… I can't afford to lose it any more than I already have…"

"Take Max with you when you go," Hannah said, sipping her tea.

Mike frowned. He though Hannah didn't like Max. He waited for her to explain.

"She's a jerk and that's what you need. If anyone will tell you to get your head out of your ass and calm down, it's Max. She's already kept you grounded few times," she said, trying to embrace Max's abrasiveness as a positive.

Mike smirked. "You want me to take another woman to Virginia with me?"

Hannah snorted. "If you're going to keep sane and catch Lily Gray, then yes… Take Max. I like Ryan better but Max still has her head on straight."

Mike smiled. He'd almost expected Hannah to be jealous. He could tell that Max was used to making other women feel intimidated and jealous. But Hannah was as cool headed as Max and almost as blunt. Hannah brushed things off because she couldn't process emotions well. Max was cold because she had to survive in a male-driven career.

"No, I'm not jealous," Hannah dismissed, smiling, reading his mind, "Max Hardy doesn't intimidate me."

He smirked, meeting her eyes. "Good. I don't want you to feel intimidated."

She shrugged. "No sense in it. She's a strong personality. Someone you need especially now. She's a good asset to have with you."

She thought about mentioning that she noticed that Max kind of had a thing for Mike, that she could feel the connection between them, but she decided to let it go. Even if she brought it up, it'd be dismissed. And if Mike wanted to be with someone else, he would. But he wasn't. He was there with her.

"Ryan and Max probably will come to Virginia… even if I asked them not to…" Mike said sadly, "I would go if it were them…"

Hannah nodded. "Good…"

"And…" Mike started, already preparing for the fight, "I know you're going to fight me tooth and nail on this… but you can't stay here… you have three options that I'm willing to live with… one: go into protective custody, two: come to Virginia with us, or three: go home to Missouri and your dad."

He saw Hannah stiffen with the idea of having to choose.

"Just for a little while," he said, reassuring, "I can't… I won't make the same mistake twice…"

He waited for her to argue, to demand that there be another option. He thought of suggesting house arrest as another idea to push her into choosing one of the first three.

She grit her teeth, wanting to refuse, wanting to tell him no way… but in everything he was dealing with… she couldn't fight him on this. His fears were reasonable- hell, more than reasonable. He'd been through too much… and she could tell that he was struggling to hold it together.

He watched her sigh, giving in. "Fine… do I have to decide right now?"

Mike shook his head. "No… it'll be a day or two before my family makes funeral arrangements…"

He swallowed hard… the thought returning of his dead father… He knew there would be no open casket… Pain in his stomach thinking about burying his father in the ground at Arlington… Anger boiling up in his throat.

She could see him struggling so she got up from her stool, stepping towards him and putting her hands on his waist.

"You don't have to hold it together all the time," she said quietly.

He smirked but it didn't reach his eyes, arms wrapping around her shoulders. "You're not one to talk."

Hannah smiled, tucking her head under his chin, feeling his stubble against her forehead.

"But I know," he said quietly, sighing, "Your dad was right… this tears you up one side and down the other…"

Mike tucked his chin and kissed her on the forehead. "And you are a rock."

* * *

First of all, holy cow. I'd never expected this to have such positive, ongoing review! I'm thrilled that you all are enjoying this and are taking part in its creation. I don't usually add things like this to new chapters but I do want you all to know that you're being heard and are appreciated!

There will be a small delay on the updates as of Monday: I'm going hiking in the Great Smoky Mountains for the entire week but will be bringing my Mac. You all have a hard time waiting two days, let alone an entire week… especially since Monday's episode will get everything spinning again.

Someone mentioned that they wanted to see Mike still crying and traumatized at this point but I don't think that's who he is. He was shocked when he saw that it was his dad and realized that his actions involved someone he loved being killed. Although Mike is clearly distraught over it, I think he's more angry that he could have prevented it if he walked away a long time ago. I think most of what he feels is guilt and regret. As we've seen him go through hell since the show started, we see less and less of his moral reason and emotion go out the window. I think at this point forward, he'll be more cold and angry rather than teary eyed.

As for meeting his family, I'm trying to wait until the next episode and see if we meet/see any of them at the funeral. I want to keep this as correct to the storyline as I can.

And as for Adam… yes, I plan on making his appearance soon.


	23. Chapter 23

When Mike was in the shower, Hannah called Ryan to recap everything that was going on, hoping that something would have happened that would make Mike feel even the tiniest bit better.

"Mike?" Ryan asked, guilt panging him once again.

"It's Hannah," she said correcting him. She'd called him from Mike's phone. "Any updates?"

She could her him sigh.

"Not really… I'm still on my way but from everyone I've talked to… there's nothing to go on… I knew Lily Gray was good but this is pushing it…" he said, annoyed.

"Damn," Hannah said, wishing he had better news.

"The only thing we know for sure is that she wants revenge for Luke… and I don't think she'll stop," Ryan said, frustrated.

"Probably right," Hannah said, "Keep me updated…"

"I will," Ryan said, promising.

"I met Max this morning… I know you're going to Virginia," she said, "Will Max go, too?"

Ryan hesitated. "I haven't asked her yet… you don't want her to go, do you?"

Ryan wondered if Hannah was jealous. He'd seen the interaction between Max and Mike… would Hannah ask him to leave Max at home? Would she ask him if Max and Mike had something together?

"No, not at all," Hannah said, "I want her to go… you guys need her… You're much better off if she goes, too."

Ryan's eyebrows raised. He hadn't expected that. "I'll ask… but she's already suspended… I don't want her to lose her job completely."

Hannah nodded, forgetting he couldn't see. "I know… I understand that… I'd feel much better if she went, though."

Ryan waited a second. "Are you coming, too?"

She took in a deep breath. "Probably not. Mike hasn't asked me, well… it was one of my options, but I don't think so."

"Options?" Ryan asked, curious.

"He said I had to choose between protective custody, going to Virginia with you, or going home to Missouri…" Hannah explained, still unsure between protective custody or Missouri. She didn't want to involve her own family in this.

"Oh," Ryan said, understanding that logic, "I see… and going to Virginia isn't one of your preferences?"

She shook her head, again forgetting he couldn't see. "No… first of all, I'd be in the way… you would all be off chasing after Lily Gray and I'm sure he'd insist that someone babysit me… and two… He needs time with his family… I don't want to be a distraction."

"I agree," Ryan said, happy that she realized tagging along wouldn't be in any of their best interests, "So that leaves protective custody or Missouri…"

"Yeah…" Hannah said, feeling trapped. "I really don't want to be in protective custody… but I don't want to take everything home to my family, either…"

Ryan pinched between his eyes. Neither were a full-proof safe option. Charlie got to Claire when she was in protective custody… and if Claire had stayed with her family… she still would have been taken…

"But Mike is pretty adamant that I don't stay here," Hannah said.

"I don't blame him," Ryan said, scoffing, "You have to remember, Hannah… Mike never lost anyone before. Debra was different… He's going to blame himself for all of this… and try to prevent it again. He's trying to do whatever it takes to keep it from happening to you."

Hannah nodded, knowing that was exactly true, rubbing her forehead.

Ryan didn't want to add that Mike was a loose cannon. If Hannah came to Virginia, she may see him lose it and nearly kill someone… or actually do it. As together as Hannah kept it, Ryan knew she wouldn't be able to brush off seeing Mike beat someone's face in. Max had even almost come unglued because of it.

"I'll call you if I find anything else," Ryan said, wishing he had more to tell her then, "I'm going to go ahead and have Mendez order protective custody for you. It takes them a day or two to get everything together… if you don't want it, it's easier to call them off rather than to change your mind and want them."

Hannah wrinkled her nose. "Thanks…"

Ryan hung up and Hannah heard the water in the bathroom turn off.

She bit her lip. She really didn't want to go into protective custody… but if it wasn't safe for Mike's dad… it wasn't safe for her dad, either…

She went into the bedroom and leaned on the doorframe as she thought about it, Mike opening the door to the bathroom and steam escaping.

He'd put on jeans and white t-shirt, hair still dripping.

"No news from Ryan…" she said regretfully, "He's still on his way there."

Mike looked up at her, toweling off his hair, disappointment in his eyes. "You talked to him?"

She nodded. "He's ordering protective custody for me… just to get it started in case I need it…"

Mike hesitated. He knew protective custody might be the worst of all the options… especially if there was a mole… but he'd offered the choice anyways…

"That's what you've chosen?" he asked, hanging up his towel.

She shrugged. "So far it's the best choice… I can't go to Virginia… I'll just be in the way and Ryan agrees. And… I don't want to take all this back to my dad… I don't want him to worry… and I don't want him involved if all this goes south…"

Mike nodded. It'd all gone south for him and his father had paid for it… If he had been as careful as Hannah, his dad wouldn't have been killed… That thought hung heavy in his stomach.

"Protective custody, then," Mike said, still not liking the idea, "I've met plenty of people, guns for hire, who would be better at keeping you safe… unfortunately, I've arrested most of them. And the rest I doubt would help me."

Hannah thought about it. "Like… mafia kind of people?"

Mike shrugged. "Some… others were backwoods militia…"

He thought about Roderick and Charlie Mead… Joe had asked them to get Claire and they'd done a hell of a job of it.

"You think that would be safer?" Hannah asked, confused, "I thought there really was nothing better than the federal government."

Mike scoffed. "I worked in witness protection. All those people are underpaid, overworked, or frustrated. Keeping your target under the radar is one thing… keeping them protected is another. They have to play by the rules and wait for approval before doing anything… Militia's shoot first and ask questions later… They have their own rules."

Hannah thought, grabbing her cell phone off the counter.

"What are you doing?" Mike asked, confused.

"Checking something out," she said, hearing the dial tone.

"Hey," Adam said cheerfully.

"Hey, quick question for you," Hannah said briskly, "Do you still talk to Jason Andrews?"

"Jason?" Adam asked incredulously, "Why are you asking about him?"

"Humor me," Hannah asked.

"I talked to Jason a few months ago…" Adam said reluctantly, "Why?"

"I need his number," she demanded, already grabbing a pen.

"Hannah," Adam said, chastising, "He's off the grid… he doesn't have a phone."

"How do you talk to him, then?" she asked, prying it from him.

Adam sighed. "I call a buddy of his… when Adam goes into town, he gives him the message and he calls me."

"Call the friend and give him my number, then. Ask him to have Jason call me," she ordered.

"Why do you want to talk to him so bad?" Adam asked, skeptical. He and Jason had been close. Anyone asking about him worried him.

"I can't really tell you, I just need to," she said, not wanting to involve her brother in this, too.

"Fine," Adam said reluctantly, "I'll do it. I'll call now."

"Thanks, love you," she said, hanging up, not bothering to hear his goodbye.

She looked up at Mike who was frowning.

"Who's Jason Andrews?" he asked carefully.

"A buddy of Adam's growing up. A backwoods, guns and knives kind of guy. He went into the Marines but got out after a few years. He joined up in a militia in Montana after that…" she said, racking her brain for anything else she knew about him.

"But you haven't seen him in years?" Mike asked carefully, "And Adam only talked to him a few months ago?"

Hannah nodded. "Yeah… I mean… it makes sense he wouldn't contact anyone… But we were all pretty close. Jason was the one who taught me how to shoot. I lost touch with him when I went to college… I knew Adam must still talk to him."

Mike hesitated, seeing where this was going. "You'd trust him?"

Hannah met his eyes. "You said you'd feel safer if I was with a militia group…"

His jaw hardened. He didn't like the idea of Hannah being off with some backwoods militia… but it would be safer if there was a mole in the FBI….

"Let me call my guys… I want to know what this militia is about and what they've heard of them," Mike said, taking out his phone.

Mike called his group at the FBI and Hannah could see him relax. Having a purpose temporarily diverted his grief and guilt.

To their credit, they didn't ask about his dad. He could hear it in their voices that they knew… but they didn't say anything.

Mike felt that sick feeling in his throat that he would be hearing a lot of condolences about his dad… and a lot of hateful looks from those who realized that it had been his fault.

As one of his guys checked up on the militia in Montana, Hannah's phone vibrated.

Incoming call from Noxon, Montana.


	24. Chapter 24

Mike motioned for Hannah to put it on speakerphone as she answered.

"Hello?" she asked, already knowing who it was.

"Hannah Evans…" Jason crooned, "Been a long time since I heard from you."

She smirked. "Well, when you drop off the face of the planet, you tend to lose some friends."

"Touché, girly," Jason said, "But I'm sure you didn't track me down just to say hi…"

She swallowed. "I need your help, Jason…"

"Didn't you always?" he teased. Jason had helped get her car out of a few ditches every winter.

"Seriously," she said, "I need to disappear for a little bit… I figured you could help me…"

"Everything alright?" Jason asked, worried.

"For now," Hannah said, trying not to sound mysterious, "Could I come to Montana and hide out for a bit?"

"You know you're always welcome," Jason said, "But I can bring my rifle to New York if you need me to shoot someone. You know I can get away with it."

"No, not that serious," Hannah reassured, "I just… I either have to go into protective custody or find somewhere safer."

"Shit," Jason said abruptly, "Then it is serious… You can surely come here. You know we're secure. Ain't nobody mess with the militia."

"Thanks," she said, "I'll be up in a day or two…"

"Alright, let me give you the number you can call… Leave a message when your flight lands and I'll be there to pick you up," he said, "And if I can't, I'll send someone for you."

He gave her the number and she wrote it down, Mike looked at it carefully.

"Thanks, Jason," Hannah said, finger already on the end call button, "I'll see you soon."

She hung up and looked up at Mike who was still on the phone with the FBI.

He lowered the phone just a little bit.

"So far they check out… they follow the rules and stay under the radar. No complaints or issues with the law," he said, still skeptical, "Your buddy Jason is pretty close to the top apparently…"

Hannah hadn't known that. She only knew Jason was in the militia after he'd come home from Afghanistan and told Adam that he wanted out. When Adam asked what he would do, he mentioned going west and meeting up with some guys. It wasn't till Christmas the next year that Adam had brought him up at dinner and given them an update.

"What are you thinking?" Mike asked, hanging up the phone once the brief was done.

She shrugged. "You said it'd be better than protective custody."

He thought carefully. He didn't like the idea of her away somewhere he didn't know, with men he didn't know… but he knew it was the safest option.

"I guess it is…" he said reluctantly, "I'm still going to worry… but you're right…"

"Mike, I don't want to go," she said sadly, "But I know you're not going to budge on this…"

She picked up her phone again to make another call. "Ryan, scratch that protective custody… we've worked out something else."

"Something else?" Ryan asked skeptically.

"A militia group in-"

"No, don't tell me…" Ryan said quickly and desperately, "I can't be trusted with that information… I'd use anything I can to get to Lily Gray if it would help me."

"At least you're honest…" she said regretfully.

"I'll call off the cavalry," Ryan said, "Stay safe, Hannah."

"You, too," she said, hoping he actually would.

Mike watched her figure all this out… wishing she didn't have to. He never wanted her this involved with Ryan… knowing these kinds of things… having to do these kinds of things…

"I'm sorry, Hannah," Mike said, feeling guilty, "I didn't want this…"

She set her phone down and looked up at him. "I know…"

She hated that he felt guilty. He was already grieving the death of his father, something that he felt absolutely responsible for. He'd almost killed Luke… and his father had paid for it… And now he felt guilty about getting her involved, too.

He wouldn't have even suggested this yesterday… But after his dad… he wouldn't take any chances.

His stomach fell again thinking about his dad… thinking about the video… He'd seen everything…

He closed his eyes, trying to get that image out of his head but it played on a loop.

He couldn't have stopped it… but he could have prevented it…

He tried to push down his grief and his guilt as far as he could… make it manageable… he knew that when he stepped foot in his dad's house… and when they buried him, he'd fall apart again.

The anger and the guilt would eat him alive.

While he'd been standing there thinking, Hannah booked her flight and she altered his.

"I changed your flight from this morning to tomorrow. Took some finagling but I got it," she said, taking control, "My flight goes out in three hours."

Mike frowned. "You're leaving today? And I'm not until tomorrow?"

She had tried to get them leaving at the same time but it just wasn't possible… she really didn't want to leave him alone but it had to happen. She knew he'd sit and either break down or get very, very angry.

"I tried, Mike…" she said, wishing she could have made it happen.

She could see him thinking, wondering.

"Book me a seat on your flight," he said, "I'll go with you to Montana… I want to meet this guy."

Hannah frowned. "You're going to fly two hours just for ten minutes and then come back, just to go down to Virginia after?"

Mike thought. It did sound silly once she said it out loud. "It's my fault you're having to go there… I want to make sure its safe… What else am I going to do in the meantime anyways?"

Hannah sighed. "I'll be absolutely fine…"

"Book the seat, Hannah," Mike said, decidedly. He got her into this mess, he'd make sure he had everything under control.

"I'd better get a bag ready then," she said, standing up, "You should, too."


	25. Chapter 25

He watched her pack and he didn't like it… he'd given her three options to keep her safe… but now that it had come down to making one of those decisions a reality, he didn't like it.

He liked having Hannah where he could see her and know that she was okay… but he knew he couldn't do that any longer…

He thought about trying to convince her to come to Virginia… but she'd given her reasons why that wasn't a good idea. Unfortunately for him, she was right.

She was packing cold weather clothes: jeans, thick socks, long sleeves, and sweaters. He hoped she'd have enough blankets at night when she got cold.

"I'm sorry you have to go," he said quietly from the doorway.

She looked up from her suitcase, hair falling into her eyes. "I know…"

Hannah thought about telling him that she'd be fine, that she didn't need to run away, that she could take care of herself… but she knew he'd argue. This one time, she'd give in and let him have what he wanted.

If it would make him feel better, she would do it, whatever it took.

"Maybe this will be more incentive to get Lily Gray," she said, smirking, "You'll get me home faster if you do."

Mike didn't smile. He had enough incentive… Lily Gray had nearly killed Max… and she'd killed his dad…

Hannah regretted her words as soon as she saw him take them in. She hadn't meant it like that…

She got up from where her suitcase sat on the floor.

"I didn't mean it like that…" she said, apologizing, sliding her hands around his waist.

He didn't say anything, head hung. His dad's death was his fault… and now it was his fault that he was sending Hannah away…

"You know that I'm doing this because I want you safe…" he said, meeting her eyes.

She sighed without looking away. "I know…"

Mike looked down. "I've already lost my dad… I… I can't lose you, too…"

She rested her forehead against his chin, swallowing. "I know…"

"I already have enough things I'll never forgive myself for," he said sadly.

She didn't want to say that everything would be okay… because it might not… and it limited everything he was feeling.

"We're doing what's best…" she said, trying to reassure him that she was going along with this.

He closed his eyes. _We're doing what's best._

_We._

They were doing this together. They'd come up with this idea together… they were in this together…

"I don't want to lose you," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her close.

He was itching to tell her more… to tell her everything he thought of her… how he felt about her… being with her… But he didn't… Not at a time like this… It would cheapen it and she'd deny it. She wouldn't want to hear it at a time like this…

She would think he only felt that way because his dad died.

She would think he only felt that way because he was sending her off far away.

She would think he only felt that way because perhaps he might not make it home.

No… as much as he wanted to tell her everything… he wouldn't… Not now…

"You aren't going to lose me," she said against his neck, "Remember, I'll put up a hell of a fight."

He smirked. She tried so hard to keep it together for him, to try and make him feel better.

He pulled back slightly and kissed her.

The first kiss had been one of appreciation, thankfulness to have her at a time like this.

The second kiss had been one of absolute realization that she was his.

The third kiss made his breath deepen and his heart speed faster.

Hannah pulled back smirking.

"The flight…" she said, eyes glazed, "We need to leave in twenty minutes."

Mike smiled having her tight in his arms. "You always said we were masters of getting ready in twenty minutes…"

He kissed her again, making his intention clear that they would make the most of the last twenty minutes. He hands on the back of his neck agreed.

She wasn't sure if it was the mixed emotions of his grief, because she was going away for a while, or because he simply wanted her right then and there… but she didn't question it.

They'd been quick, not taking time to lose all of their clothing, just what was necessary. He'd had her against the dresser, drawers jostling in protest behind them.

Every thrust echoed every reason why he was sending her away, how badly he needed her safe, how badly he needed her alive and with him.

Every breath in his ear reminded him why he would sacrifice his own comfort to know that she was safe.

Every grip of her hands told him why he would do this the right way, how he would do everything he needed for her.

And when she shuddered against him, he was reminded of why he wanted no one else but her. And she didn't even know it.

But as she looked up at him, hair across her eyes, those eyes still glazed over, she did know it.

She had felt it- every touch that held the weight of her own importance to him. Each look he gave her put her at the center of his world in that moment.

And when he'd shuddered along with her, she could feel his desperate need to keep her safe. The weight and pressure of feeling that important to someone pressed against her. It felt suffocatingly good.

Once he lowered her to her feet and they fixed themselves back up, their eyes met and they shared a single sad, regretful look.

This would be their last time together for a while… This was really happening…


	26. Chapter 26

When they landed, Hannah got her bag and Mike felt like an absolute asshole. Here he was, escorting her far enough away that she'd be safe. Safe because his actions put her and the people he loved in danger.

A very shitty truth.

She hadn't said much the entire way there, not having much to say. She almost wanted to argue with him, to ask him again if this was absolutely necessary… but she knew he would just argue back…

And she didn't want him to think about his dad again…

They stood quietly in the baggage area and Mike looked over at her. She didn't look happy.

She felt like she'd been through the ringer… the past twenty four hours were eye opening for her… First, Mike's dad was killed… then she met Ryan Hardy… and Max Hardy… and was now in Montana headed to an old friend's militia group where she would be safe.

Before they left the apartment, Max had come over again. As a peace offering, she brought Hannah a new phone.

"_Ryan called and told me the plan… You can't use your old phone anymore," Max said, "Too easy to trace. This one is prepaid and I installed a scrambler on it. Any time a call is made or received from this, the signal will bounce off of cell towers and won't be traceable."_

_Hannah shook, taking it. This was too much for her. Max could see it and eased up. Hannah wasn't one of them who dealt with these things everyday… she felt for her._

"_Are you going to Virginia?" Hannah asked her, meeting her eyes._

"_Um…" Max said, being caught off guard, "I don't know…"_

_Max looked to Mike who didn't meet her eyes. He hated that Hannah had to be put through all this… but was grateful that Ryan and Max had accommodated her and helped. Of all shitty things, at least that was a positive._

"_I know you can't ruin your career," Hannah said, "But if you can, go… they really need you… I think you're the only one who can keep both of them straight."_

_Max smiled at that. She'd prepared for a battle against Hannah, a fight for dominance, and had started it when she first met her. But now, seeing Hannah visibly shaken and telling her her vote of confidence in her, it made her relax._

_Max smiled, having new respect for her and appreciating what she said._

"_I set it up so that if your name is searched for, I'll get alerted and I'll call you," Max said, now happy that she'd done it. _

_Hannah smirked, feeling very exposed but grateful. "Thank you, Max…"_

_Max looked to Mike who shared that appreciation. He hadn't expected her to do anything for them._

_Max hadn't done it for Hannah, she'd done it for Mike. She knew Hannah was important to him and she wanted to avoid anyone else near Mike being killed again. But now, after Hannah had expressed her gratitude and shown her confidence in her, she was happy she'd done it for Hannah, too._

"_Thank you," Mike said from behind Hannah, very much appreciative of what she'd done._

_Max smirked. They were all in this together now._

And still, Hannah looked uneasy and worried.

"What are you thinking about?" Mike asked, quietly.

She sighed. "Wishing I didn't have to be here…"

He looked down. "I know… I'm sorry… but this is what's necessary to keep you safe…"

She felt the weight of Max's phone in her pocket.

"I know…" she said sadly, "I know I hold it together pretty well… but this is some scary stuff…"

Mike looked at her and met her eyes. This was a rare time that he saw her worried.

"Promise you'll be safe," she asked, "Don't do anything reckless."

He thought about crossing his fingers before he promised. He'd do anything to get Lily Gray, even if it involved being reckless. But he didn't.

"I promise…" he said, "I'll do what I can to get you home as fast as I can…"

She smiled, thinking about home, him asleep in bed with her.

"Deal," she smiled softly.

He leaned over and kissed her gently and she felt that heart-wrenching feeling of being important to someone.

"Hannah!" a voice called and she pulled back.

Across baggage claim, she saw Jason wave and head towards them.

He seemed so much bigger than she remembered, hair longer. The last time she'd seen him was with a military haircut and a Marine uniform.

Now he wore boots, worn jeans, a flannel shirt, and a thick brown coat with a fleece lining.

"Hey," she said as he approached, feeling his eyes wash over her and flicker over to Mike.

"This is Mike," she said introducing them, "Mike, this is Jason."

"Hello," Mike said formally, sizing the other man up.

"Hey man," Jason said, grabbing his hand enthusiastically, smiling. He didn't bother to size up Mike.

Jason was taller, smiled easier, and stood more confident. Mike felt uncomfortable, watching this man's eyes fall over Hannah.

"Are you coming back with us?" Jason asked, curious and slightly confused, warm brown hair falling into his eyes.

"No," Mike said, wishing he had more time to inspect wherever Jason was taking Hannah, just to make sure, "I'll be on my way back in a few minutes…"

"Oh," Jason said, not really getting it.

"He wanted to meet you," Hannah said, "Make sure everything was safe."

Mike glanced over at her, hating that the way she said it made him feel insecure.

"Ah," Jason said, growing serious, "Well… she'll be very safe… anyone willing to take on three hundred guys with guns who aren't afraid to use them would be very stupid. Don't worry, I'll take real good care of her. I always have."

Mike nodded, feeling insecure once more. Here this man was, Jason, promising to take care of her… something Mike wasn't able to do.

Hannah turned to Mike and Jason could feel an idea of what was going on.

"You uh… you might want to put your coat on, Hannah…. It's pretty cold outside," Jason said, reaching for her bag, "I'll go get the truck and uh… I'll meet you outside."

She nodded appreciatively, thanking him for giving her a second longer with Mike.

Once Jason was out of sight, she turned to Mike.

"You sure you trust him?" he asked, eyes still on the door that Jason walked out of.

She nodded. "I always have. I don't have any reason to now."

Mike looked down. "I'll call you every chance I get… and you can call me, too… don't worry about the time…"

Hannah smiled. "I'll be alright. Just work on getting me home."

He nodded. "I will…"

They started to walk to the door and Mike felt his stomach drop. He was about to let her walk away with someone else because he couldn't protect her…

He wanted to pull her back, to take her back home and say that she didn't have to do any of this… but he knew he couldn't… This was for the best…

This had to happen.

Mike watched Jason pull the truck up and get out, opening the passenger door for her. Mike felt a stab of guilt, feeling like he was abandoning her.

Hannah turned to him and hugged him tightly, her lips on his neck.

"Stay safe, boy scout," she said sadly.

"I will," he said, closing his eyes, trying to remember the way she smelled, "Call me…"

He felt her smile and withdraw. She kissed him, hoping it wouldn't be long until she kissed him again.

She stepped back, her eyes full of worry and got into the truck, Jason closing the door behind her. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his large coat.

"So," Jason said, approaching Mike, "What's so bad that's got her running but not you?"

Mike's jaw hardened. "It's better that you don't know…"

Jason didn't like that answer. "She mentioned protective custody… you a cop?"

Mike shook his head. "FBI."

Jason cocked his head. "Then why isn't she in protective custody?"

Mike shifted on his feet. "There's a mole… the FBI isn't secure right now…"

"Shit," Jason said, surprised, "You stay safe, too, then, boss."

Mike smirked. "Keep an eye on her."

Jason nodded. "She'll be safe with us. You have my word on that."

Mike hoped so.

They shook hands briefly and Jason returned to the truck.

Hannah smiled at Mike, trying to be reassuring, as they drove away towards the mountains.

Mike felt sick to his stomach watching her drive away with Jason, hating that he'd gotten her involved in this and that this was necessary.


	27. Chapter 27

They drove for twenty minutes before Jason finally broke the silence.

"So… you ready to tell me what this is really about?" he asked, eyes on the road, the sun already going down.

Hannah hesitated. "I'm not sure it's best if you know…"

Jason scoffed. "Really, Hannah? You're going to ask for my help but not tell me what you're running from?"

She scrunched her nose. "You know I've never liked talking…"

Jason smiled, lightening up. "Yeah, you've always been a hard nut to crack, girly."

She couldn't expect that Jason would wait patiently for an answer. Especially since he was right… he had asked for his help.

"You've heard of Joe Carroll?"

Jason stiffened, eyes on the road. He turned the radio down.

"Yeah…"

"And I'm sure you've heard of Lily Gray, too?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah…"

Hannah sighed. "Well… Mike and Ryan Hardy were going after Joe Carroll and crossed paths with Lily Gray… Mike tried to kill one of her sons… So she took revenge by finding his dad… and killing him on tape... Mike saw it all."

Jason sucked in his breath. "Shit…"

"She said that there would be many more…" Hannah said uneasily, "Mike decided it was best for me to get somewhere safe in case she thought of coming after me, too…"

"No kidding," Jason said lowly, "No wonder he's spooked."

Hannah crossed her arms over her chest. He'd been very spooked.

"Well," Jason said decidedly, "You've got nothing to worry about now. You're headed to one of the most secure sights in the states. All the guys there are either ex-military, special forces, or SEALs. And if they're not, they've been raised by them in the militia. Just don't ask too many questions… they're not too used to outsiders."

"Thanks for letting me come," she said, a little uneasy about this.

Jason nodded, tapping the steering wheel. "I'm just glad you remembered me… If something happened to you that we could've prevented, well… I would've felt pretty shitty about that… once upon a time we were friends… and friends don't let that happen."

She looked over at him, slightly frowning. "I'd say we're still friends…"

He chuckled. "Adam and I are still friends… Hannah, it's been ten years since I went into the Marines… and then it was eight years since I saw you the last time when I came back on leave… Eight years is a long time to still call someone a friend."

She wrinkled her nose. She hadn't realized it'd been that long… true they were closer when they lived in Missouri… but he'd always been more of Adam's friend.

"I'm still glad you called," Jason said, "Glad I can help any way that I can…"

He smiled at her genuinely and it made her smirk. She could remember times long ago when they'd driven like this, him at the wheel, her riding shot gun, when he'd smiled at her like that.

"This is a new truck…" she said, inspecting it.

Jason laughed. "Ten years, Hannah… That old Chevy we used to take to the creek was a good fifteen years old back then… No way she would've made the drive out here."

Hannah smirked. Jason and Adam had taught her how to drive in the old Chevy. The same one she'd gotten stuck in the mud on purpose when they teased her about her 9pm curfew.

Being with Jason was like being home… even if it had been ten years since she'd last seen him. That made him 28 now.

Jason looked at her and the years had been good to her, if they'd taken any toll on her at all. She was still 17 when he'd joined the Marines. It'd been six months after her and Adam's accident.

As far as he could tell, she looked the same. Hair slightly longer, laugh a little richer, but that was almost it. She still looked young, still looked carefree, eyes still bright.

"How long until we get there?" she asked after an hour, curious.

"Another forty minutes or so," Jason said, checking the time, "We're up in the mountains. Best place to defend and the neighbors don't complain about shooting off rounds at the range."

She nodded. She was a little uneasy, wondering what she was getting herself into…

It was pitch black when they pulled off the main road on the dirt one. The passed a gate with guards and rifles. Hannah wanted to slide down her seat and onto the floorboards. This was not a world she'd seen before.

Jason, however, was completely comfortable, waving to the men with a smile and driving past them, farther down the dirt road.

"For the most part," he explained, "Most of us live up here. A hundred or so live in town but the rest of us have houses up here. It's much easier to operate up here than go back and forth."

They passed dirt driveways that Hannah couldn't see down so she figured they were set very far off the main dirt road into the woods.

"We have everything we need here, really… a complete self-sustainable community," he said, making it sound like a quiet little village, "With a lot of firepower…"

They turned down one of the dirt driveways and Hannah counted a whole five minutes before they pulled up in front of a cozy looking cabin with a wrap around porch. A light was turned on outside.

Jason parked and turned off the truck. "Home sweet home."

Hannah got out, zipping her coat back up. It was a lot colder on the mountain.

Jason got her bag out from the bed of the truck and led her up the front steps to the front door.

He opened that door for her and ushered her inside, flipping on the light.

It looked cozy and very lived in. She noticed three pairs of boots by the front door and a line of hung up coats.

"I'm sure you're tired, huh?" Jason said, checking his watch, "I'll give you the tour tomorrow."

Hannah nodded. This was all too much for her in one day.

Jason led her back through the cabin to a back hallway.

"My room's right here," he said, gesturing to the right, "You're across the hall right here."

He turned on the light to the small bedroom with a full bed and a dresser. He set down her bag by the end of the bed. Hannah noticed only one blanket on the bed. She was already cold.

"I may need another blanket," she said, turning towards him.

Jason turned and took one off his own bed, handing it to her.

"Here, have one of mine," he said, "I get hot at night anyways. I'm used to the cold up here."

She hugged it to her front, meeting his eyes.

"Thank you, Jason," she said, "I mean it."

Jason smiled genuinely. "I know… you know you're always welcome wherever I am."

She turned and laid the blanket out on the bed, smoothing it down.

"Bathroom's down the hall if you need it," he said gesturing, "And I'll uh… I'll see you in the morning."

She smiled as he closed the door behind him.

Looking back at the little room, she really did feel like she was in witness protection… and that thought made her uneasy.

She pulled out the phone Max gave her and checked it. No missed calls. No misses messages.

She's successfully disappeared and no one noticed…

Hannah sat on the bed, feeling isolated and alone. She wanted to talk to Mike… she wanted to call him and see what he was doing…

She wanted to talk to him and see how he was feeling… talk to him before he went to the funeral tomorrow…

She closed her eyes… The funeral.

She'd barely remembered her own mother's funeral… luckily, however, she'd been young and could've repressed it… there was no way that Mike was going to repress this…

She badly wanted to call him… to say that it was okay that she was up here, she understood why he'd wanted to send her away… but she missed him.

She wished she was home with him…

No, she thought, shaking her head. He would already be upset about the funeral and having to send her away… she wouldn't make him feel guilty again about sending her away…

But God did she want to call him… she had an itching feeling that he'd fall apart tomorrow… and she wouldn't be there…

* * *

Jason woke up in the middle of the night as always. After so many tours in Afghanistan, he was used to sleeping only two hours at a time.

And as always, he got up and secured the perimeter. He knew there was no need, nothing and no one could breach the perimeter of the militia grounds… and if they did, there were more than enough armed guards.

But still… there was something about it, so familiar, that made him sleep easier, if at all. He never slept easy anymore, still set off by the slightest sound.

He checked all the doors and windows, making his normal round. The door to the guest room was slightly ajar.

Hannah must have gone to the bathroom and never closed the bedroom door behind her. He knew from habit that you had to close the door solidly or it would slip open again.

Checking to make sure she was alright, he was comforted seeing her asleep in bed. On his backward step to his room, he noticed her shivering.

Was she really that thin skinned now?

Smirking, he retreated to the hall closet and got out another blanket, covering her with it.

Hannah had always been Adam's little sister, tagging along with them and demanding that they teach her everything they were doing.

Jason had always wanted to send Hannah home but it was Adam who let her stay. Adam looked out for his little sister, even if she was a nuisance to them. When she got older, she got less needy and more capable. It was easier to take her shooting with them or teach her how to drive. She morphed from a little sister to a friend of both of them.

Jason suspected it had something to do with Deanna's death.

He could remember Deanna making them all cookies and letting him sleep over. He remembered her making them chocolate chip pancakes in the morning. He doubted Hannah remembered any of that but he did.

When Deanna was in the hospital, Hannah was the most clingy. Aloof to anyone else but Dave, Adam, and himself. They were the only consistent, healthy family she had.

Hannah didn't make girl friends easily. They all knew she had a hard time when she'd go to sleepovers and the girls' moms would make them ice cream sundaes and tuck them all into bed. It was too much for her to see a mom and it not be hers…

And when Deanna died, Jason could feel the weight lifted off all their shoulders. No more pretending she was going to get better and that they would all be fine. Hannah finally stood up on her own and was different. No more the needy little sister.

Jason and Adam gladly took her shooting and even took her hunting a time or two. They were inseparable…

Until Adam went to college and Jason decided that his duty was to his country and the Marines.

He heard Hannah went to college and lost touch… he almost lost touch with Adam but Adam, always the good friend, stayed connected, stayed asking.

He'd been surprised when Adam told him Hannah wanted to talk to him. He'd all but just forgotten about her, never thought she'd be calling to talk to him.

His own life had taken him in a different direction, one he never thought would be the kind that Hannah needed, even temporarily.

Jason closed her door firmly and retreated back to bed.


	28. Chapter 28

When Hannah finally woke up, she felt like she slept the entire morning away. She'd slept hard and deep. She'd woken up warm and cozy. She noticed another blanket on her bed that hadn't been there when she fell asleep.

Sitting up groggily, she checked the phone… Nothing…

Groaning, she closed her eyes, frustrated. She hoped she would've gotten a call from Mike… a message… anything…

She heard banging sounds coming from the kitchen and cursing.

_What the hell is that?_

She got out of bed, toes freezing. She grabbed some socks out of her suitcase and pulled on an old college sweatshirt, grumbling.

Opening the door to the bedroom, she smelled bacon, eggs, and… what was that smell?

Hannah stumbled into the kitchen and Jason looked up, embarrassed.

He stood at the stove, hair falling into his eyes, looking very sheepish.

He was already in jeans, barefoot, and a flannel shirt rolled haphazardly to his elbows.

"Shit… did I wake you up?" he asked, embarrassed.

She frowned. Was that what woke her?

"I don't think so..." she said, unsure.

Jason slung a dish towel over his shoulder, tending to something in a bowl with a whisk.

"What're you doing?" Hannah asked carefully, suspicious.

"Making pancakes," he said embarrassed, "I'm craving them for some odd reason."

She stood skeptical. She'd never seen him cook, let alone in the kitchen.

"Heard from your friend?" Jason asked, looking up.

Hannah shook her head, phone still in her hand. "Not yet..."

She set the phone on the counter, giving up that it'd burst into a fit of vibration while in her hand. A watched pot never boils.

Jason poured pancake batter into the hot pan, sizzling and gurgling. Hannah spied dark chunks in the batter.

"Are those blueberries?" she asked incredulously.

"Chocolate chips," he said, wiping the batter from the edge of the bowl.

A phone rang and Hannah leapt towards hers, heart beating wildly, grabbing it up and... It wasn't ringing.

The screen stayed black.

Dismayed, her face fell.

Jason took a phone out of his pocket, feeling bad that she thought it was hers.

"Yeah?" he asked, shoving the phone between his ear and shoulder, motioning for Hannah to go sit at the table.

"No... That is not what I said. If Caleb wants security tightened, that is exactly what you will do. Don't argue with me, Richard... I mean it..." Jason said threateningly.

He hung up the phone angrily, dropping it to the counter. He flipped a pancake and it was so golden brown that it made her stomach grumble.

"Two or three?" Jason asked, getting down a plate.

The whole thing made Hannah very uncomfortable.

"Uh... Just one for now," she said, not used to people making her breakfast and serving it to her.

Jason smiled, anger gone, he dished up that golden brown pancake and set it down in front of her with a fork.

"Maple syrup?" he asked, opening the fridge.

"Ew, no," she wrinkled her nose, "You can't put maple syrup on chocolate chip pancakes."

Jason smiled, flipping his own pancakes.

"Sleep well?" he asked, watching her eat.

She nodded. "Like a rock."

A phone rang again and she jumped up from her seat.

"Easy," Jason warned, "It's me again..."

Hannah sat back down, saddened. She wondered if she would get a call today at all or if she should just give up hope now...

"What's up, Logan?" Jason answered friendly but careful, "Yeah I know, he's not too happy with me. Thanks for letting me know."

Jason hung up the phone and took another forkful of pancakes.

"I hate these damn things," Jason said, dropping the phone, "If Caleb didn't insist on it, I wouldn't have one at all..."

"That's why no one at home has your number?" Hannah asked, chewing.

Jason nodded. "Nothing good comes from phones."

Hannah thought about her next question carefully. "But Caleb insists on it?"

He nodded, mouth full. "He didn't use to, not for me at least, but now that I handle a lot more, he thinks it's necessary. I think it's a pain in the ass."

"So Caleb is like... The leader of the militia?" she asked, wondering how carefully she should take his advice not to ask too many questions.

Jason shrugged. "You could say that. The militia is a lot like any military unit... A lot of tiers but there's always someone who outranks someone else. Caleb is at the top."

"And where are you?" She asked carefully.

Jason smirked. "Well-"

Tires squeezed on the road behind them and Hannah turned suddenly. Jason stood up straighter, setting down his plate.

"If you want to get dressed, I'd say you have four minutes," Jason warned, watching a tall man get off a four-wheeler in the driveway.

Hannah made it back into the bedroom as she heard the front door swing open.

"Jason," she heard the man say, "Where were you this- wait… is that… is that a woman's jacket?"

"Logan…" Jason said carefully, "Listen…"

Hannah couldn't hear the rest of it. She got dressed quickly, not wanting to be seen or caught off guard in her pajamas.

She threw on jeans and a long sleeve shirt, still cold, and a jacket. She pinned back her bangs and tried to seem confident and certainly not intimidated as she stepped back into the kitchen.

Jason stood there sipping coffee with the tall, thin shaggy haired blonde man. He wore a big camo jacket and Wranglers, work boots just like Jason's.

They turned to her. The blonde seemed surprised, Jason looked casual.

"Logan… this is Hannah," Jason said casually, "Hannah… this is Logan."

"Uh… hi," Logan said uneasily. He couldn't be a day over 18.

"Hi," Hannah said, equally unsure.

Logan looked nervously to Jason.

"It's okay, Logan," Jason said, "I've already talked to Caleb… it's okay…"

"What's okay?" Hannah asked, unsure.

"I'll explain later," Jason said, swallowing his coffee. Hannah didn't like that answer.

"If she's okay…" Logan said, trying to comprehend it, "Can I show her around?"

Jason thought about it carefully, eyes looking from Logan to Hannah.

"Sure," Jason said approvingly, "But I'm coming, too."

Hannah frowned. Who was this Logan kid? And what was he going to show her around? All their guns and knives? Eek…

Logan smiled. He reminded her of a golden retriever. All blonde, broad, shaggy, and grinning. Except almost two feet taller than her.

"Hannah," Logan said, smiling, "Let's go."

She looked to Jason apprehensively. He nodded, telling her it was okay. She grabbed the phone off the counter and stuffed it in her pocket. No way she'd miss a call from Mike.

Logan led the way out of the house, bounce in every step. Hannah thought he looked far too happy to be a member of a militia group.

Jason followed silently, letting Logan lead the way down the front steps. Hannah noticed that Jason didn't lock the front door behind him.

Rather than head towards the four wheeler, Logan led them through a small trail through the trees.

"So, how much has Jason told you?" Logan asked, glancing back at her.

"Absolutely nothing," Hannah said, not happy about it.

"Well, here in the militia-"

"Not too much, Logan," Jason warned from behind them.

"Anyways," Logan said, not missing a beat, "We have everything here. Supply house, armory, our own range, everything."

The path opened up to a clearing with several house like buildings. There were numerous men, some with beards, some with hats, but none looked like the other. No uniforms, no identifying markers. It looked like a bunch of guys camping… and carrying a lot of guns.

Hannah could hear guns being shot not too far away. Logan smiled.

"Jason!" a voice called angrily.

Logan tensed and stepped in front of Hannah, broad chest and all. Golden retriever face scowling.

Jason calmly stepped beside her, hands in his pockets, face placid.

A tall man with dark black hair cut short stalked towards them, face angry.

"What the hell?" he barked.

Jason stood calmly. "Back at you, Richard…"

"Why the hell did you bring her here?" Richard barked, eyes angry, "You can't do that."

Jason wasn't phased. "Yes, I can… and I did… Caleb knows about her. She's okay."

"Like hell," Richard spat. Hannah could see the vein in his neck pulsing.

He peered around Logan at her, Logan sidestepping to stay in front of her.

"Knock it off, Logan," Richard snarled.

Logan stared at him defiantly. Jason stood calmly.

"Go ask Caleb, Richard," Jason said flatly, "He'll tell you… Or perhaps you should tell him that you questioned his orders…"

Richard eyed Jason carefully and then turned to Logan, sizing him up.

Angrily, Richard spun on his heel and walked off, furious.

Logan visibly relaxed, swallowing. He'd never defied anyone higher ranking than himself, before, especially Richard.

Jason put his hand on Logan's shoulder, jarring him from his thoughts. Logan was breathing heavily. Logan would've given Richard a run for his money in a fist fight… but Richard had a good ten, maybe fifteen years on him. And all of that was in authority and rank.

"What the hell was that about?" Hannah asked, flabbergasted, ready to call Ryan to ask her to get her the hell out of her.

Logan turned to her, eyes still wide.

Jason answered calmly. "Richard's a dick… no pun intended. He doesn't know how to place nice with others."

Hannah looked to Logan who nodded.

"No, I mean," she started, "What's his deal with me? Why aren't I supposed to be here?"

She realized Richard was probably pissed for the same reason that Logan was uneasy seeing her earlier. Something was not right with her being there…

"Jason…" Hannah pressed, "Why can't I be here?"

Logan shifted uneasily.

Jason shrugged. "Go ahead, Logan. Tell her."

Hannah looked to her shaggy haired Golden Retriever.

Logan looked down. "There's not supposed to be outsiders… The militia is secure because you're either born in or are brought in under very strict circumstances. Any strangers means the entire militia could be compromised. It's not safe…"

Hannah frowned. "Clearly I'm not a threat to anyone…"

"And…" Logan finished, "We're not allowed to bring women in. At all."

She looked around… there were no women… men… men… and men… everywhere.

"Why not?" she asked, voice unsure.

Logan looked to Jason.

"Caleb's rule," Jason explained, "Men want what other men have… Jealousy causes fights and distrust."

Hannah hesitated.

"Caleb already okay'd it," Jason continued, "He knows what happened and he said it was okay. More than okay. He wanted you to come."

Hannah opened her mouth but then heard a phone ring.

Her eyes shot open, looking to Jason.

He shrugged. "Not me this time."

Frantically, Hannah pulled out her phone, slipping on mud under her feet.

Logan caught her by the elbow.

"Mike?"


	29. Chapter 29

"Mike?"

Jason and Logan stepped away, not that Hannah noticed at all.

"Hey," Mike said quietly. He didn't want to talk… but he needed to call her… needed to hear her voice.

"Hi," Hannah said quietly. She checked her watch. The funeral must be over.

"Are you okay?" he asked, voice unsure.

Her heart pounded. "Yeah… are you?"

She heard him sniffle. "No."

Hannah closed her eyes. She wished she could be there with him.

She heard him sniffle again.

"They folded up the flag for my mom…" he said quietly, "Ryan and Max came…"

Her lip trembled. "That's good…"

"I wish you were here…" he said, voice breaking.

She covered her eyes. This was too much. "I know… me, too… Soon…"

A loud sniffle.

"We don't know where she is… there's nothing…" Mike stammered, "Nothing."

She wanted to say 'don't worry.' She wanted to say 'it'll be alright'… But it wouldn't.

"They'll get her…" she said, hoping it was true, feeling helpess.

"I'm going to get her," Mike said decidedly, voice cleared.

"Mike…" she said, sighing, "You need to be with your family."

"No, stop saying that. Nothing you say will make it better. You can't fix me," he said, frustrated, "I'm going to get her… I gotta go."

"Okay, I-"

He hung up.

Hannah let her phone fall from her ear, still in her hand, down at her waist. She wanted to throw it into the mud puddle under her. She wanted to scream.

Mike was losing it and she was losing it right along with him. In Montana. In the middle of nowhere.

And right where it hurt her, right where she kept everything so strongly locked, she felt the weaknesses in her defense.

She wanted to cry. To be back in her own bed, under her own covers, and cry.

No. She wouldn't cry. No. Not one little bit.

Lip trembling, she stood up straight and pushed every hurt feeling she had deep down inside. Mike was distancing himself from her… and that was okay…

That's what she kept telling herself until Logan touched her arm.

Jason knew to stay away. He'd seen that look on her face before… a long, long time ago. When Deanna died and she became that hard shell of herself after feelings and emotion betrayed her.

He could see her buckle down, pull herself up, and tell herself that she was fine.

She put the phone back into her pocket, feeling sickness in her stomach.

"Can we go back now?" she asked abruptly, not wanting to look Jason in the eye. Her voice held strong but she wasn't sure if she could stand the look she knew was in his eyes. Pity. Sympathy.

He nodded. "Logan will take you… I need to speak to Caleb."

Logan stepped forward, ever obedient. He stepped forward and then waited for Hannah patiently.

He led her back without saying a word, without even looking at her. He was young, but he knew that feeling. He knew what it was like to wait all day to hear from someone, just to end up crushed. He knew that sick feeling she was fighting.

He waited in front of the steps, letting her climb up them first. The way he was so patient made her annoyed.

"I'm fine, Logan," she snapped, "Knock it off."

Logan blinked and recoiled, like she'd reached out and slapped him. But he didn't say a word. He waited. He was surprised at her outburst but he waited.

She closed her eyes, lip trembling, forces almost but broken down.

"I'm sorry… I-"

"Don't worry about it," he said, reaching forward and opening the door for her.

She met his eyes, blue as could be, patient and understanding.

"Hannah… go inside," he coaxed her in a voice so soft that it made her want to ask him to tell her it'd be alright.

But instead she went inside and didn't know what to do.

So she cleaned. She cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes until her fingers were pruned and numb. She scrubbed the counters until they sparkled. She mopped all the floors in the entire cabin until they were clean enough to eat off of. She scoured the bathroom until the smell of Clorox overwhelmed her. She dusted until she thought her chest would collapse.

And finally, when there was nothing left to clean, nothing left to scrub, she sank to the floor in front of the fridge, breathless and numb.

And the phone rang. Heart beating wildly, she answered, all caution thrown to the wind.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Ryan said, "Have you talked to Mike?"

She swallowed. "Yeah…"

"Listen," Ryan started, "He won't tell you, but we almost got into some trouble today… he and Max got me out of a bad situation but I'm trying to get him out of this, Hannah… I told him he needs to stay out of it but he won't listen…"

She closed her eyes. "Yeah I know…"

"I'm trying, Hannah…" Ryan said regretfully, "And as for getting you home… I don't know… the FBI has no leads for Lily Gray… she has lawyers in 17 different countries…"

Hannah felt like crying again. Maybe she'd never get home…

"You might want to call your job and-"

"I took a leave of absence…" she said, sadly, "I didn't know how long it'd be… they gave me until the end of the year…"

"I see," Ryan said, wishing she'd never gotten involved in any of this. There were enough lives ruined.

"Thanks for everything, Ryan," she said weakly, meaning it, "I know you're trying…"

Ryan sighed, feeling frustratingly helpless. "I'm sorry I can't do more… Mike's a mess… he's out in the living room talking to Max…"

She swallowed. Talking to Max. He wouldn't even talk to her. The sickness in her stomach returned. The sun was setting and it made her feel more alone.

There was a beeping on her phone. "Ryan, I think he's calling me. I'll talk to you later."

"Mike?"

There was a silence. "I'm sorry I hung up on you earlier…"

Hannah sighed in relief, heart picking up just a little. "I know… this has been really hard on you…"

More silence.

"It's been really hard," his voice cracked.

"Ryan called…" she said, letting him know that she knew.

Sniffling from the other end. "He tried to stop me and I told him he didn't want me to become him…"

_You don't want me to become you. My path is my path._

_Revenge doesn't fix anything._

_I know, but you're here anyway._

"You won't…" she said, trying to be encouraging, but feeling helpless so far away.

"I don't know what to do anymore," he struggled, "I can't… I'm either angry or falling apart…"

She closed her eyes.

"And… Ryan and Max came to the funeral… I told her how much that meant to me… and she gets it… she lost her dad, too… She knows what it's like…"

That hit Hannah hard… Max knew what it was like… Hannah hardly remembered…

"She… she's trying to help me… she said it's good to talk to someone…"

Max wanted to help. Hannah wasn't good at talking and feelings.

"She asked if I wanted to talk and I said no… so she sat here all night with me… she just sat there… and just waited… and she sat with me…"

_You okay?_

_No… not really._

_Wanna talk?_

_Not really._

_I'll just sit here…_

The sick feeling crept up to her throat.

"And… the way she looked at me… she just knew… I wish you were home but you're not… but she sat with me all night… until she fell asleep…"

Hannah's jaw trembled. Max was there all night for him when she wasn't… When she couldn't…

"Mike…" she started, but she didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to say it. She knew the connection Mike had with Max…

Mike needed someone and Max was there… she understood… she talked to him… she sat with him all night… That unspoken connection they both felt.

He needs to be with someone….

The thought hit her icily in the stomach. He and Max shared so much… they had each others' backs… they had Ryan's… and now this… they were in so much together… it only made the puzzle fit…

And Hannah felt like the odd shaped puzzle piece far away in Montana. The one that didn't fit in any of this.

"Are you still there?" he asked, voice weak.

"Yeah…" she squeezed out, eyes feeling hot, "I… Mike… Max is such a good person… and she understands you in a way that I can't… and you two have something that we'll can't ever have…"

"I don't understand," Mike said hoarsely.

Hannah took in a deep breath. She could do this. She had to. It was for the best.

"Mike… you and Max make so much more sense than we do… we were never really together… and you don't need to stay away from her just because of me… You two have a connection… it's okay…" she said, trying to sound sure about it.

"Hannah…" he said weakly, wanting to tell her she was wrong, wanting to tell her that she couldn't be farther from the truth… but he couldn't say it… something since the last time he'd seen her changed it. Changed him.

She felt the silence and it tore through her wall, crumbling it all to the ground.

She willed herself to hold it together. "Have Ryan call me when it's safe to come back."

And she hung up, phone dropping to the floor, hands covering her eyes, shoulders shaking.

And he didn't call back.

The last time she cried was two nights ago when Mike's father was killed. The time before that… she couldn't remember the last time she cried before that.

And now… it ripped her up one side and down the other.

But she had done the right thing. It was. The silence told her it was. As much as it hurt, it was.

And she was angry. Angry that it hurt at all. Angry that the wall that kept her so protected had failed her. Angry that she hadn't kept it as fortified as she should have.

And she cried. God help her, she cried. She cried breathlessly, furious at herself for letting this happen.

She'd let this happen to herself. She'd let Mike in… and that had been her own fault. Why hadn't she seen it before? Why hadn't she kept the wall up and kept everyone out? She told him she didn't want anything special… she couldn't… And now… Why hadn't she pushed him away when she should have?

The front door opened and she didn't look up. She didn't have the strength to.

Logan sank down onto the floor next to her and pulled her into his broad chest and she let him, no strength to fight back and say she was fine.

She was past that point. And she sat there and cried with Logan's arm around her, quietly touching her hair.

It reminded her of how Ryan sat with Mike after watching the video… and that made her cry harder.

She hated how weak she was. Hated every tear that fell. She hated it. Hated it. Hated it.

What felt like hours later, Jason returned, furious when he thought Logan had caused this sudden change in Hannah. But Logan gestured to the phone that remained on the floor silently, a cruel reminder.

Jason's fists balled and then he shook his head, releasing his fists.

Logan stood, shaking shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes and trying to pull Hannah to her feet.

It embarrassed her. She didn't want to be a weak, sobbing mess on the floor. This was why the militia didn't want women. And she hated it.

As she got to her feet, her legs were swept out from under her. Jason picked her up and carried her back to her bedroom, hating that she had fallen apart like this.

Hannah almost asked him if she could have the phone but she didn't… she didn't want to be anywhere near it.

Jason laid her in bed and covered her up, leaving her side momentarily to get her another blanket. The gesture made her cry harder. Jason smoothed her hair down and kissed her forehead, closing the door behind him as he left.

In the kitchen, Logan held the phone in his hand, contemplating how he should destroy it.

Jason took it quietly and took it outside, locking it away in the glove box of his truck.


	30. Chapter 30

"You called her again?"

"Yeah... it rings and rings and then goes to the voicemail."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Ryan… I don't like this…"

Mike opened his eyes groggily. Max and Ryan stood in the kitchen, not noticing him waking up.

"What about the GPS?"

"I disengaged the GPS… just in case…"

Max looked worried, uneasy. Ryan was rubbing the back of his neck.

Mike sat up, feeling stiff from falling asleep in a chair. Max and Ryan turned to him.

"What's going on?" Mike asked hesitantly, wondering if they'd even tell him. They didn't tell him much these days.

Max looked to Ryan, who looked back at her.

"We can't reach Hannah…" she said, worried for his response. After everything he'd been through, Max expected Mike to lose it over them not being able to contact Hannah. She expected him to fall apart and jump from his chair, trying to find some way to contact her…

But he didn't…

Ryan cocked his head. Mike blinked. Not scared. Not worried… was it… was that guilt Ryan saw in Mike's eyes?

"You called her last night," Ryan said, not sure of what Mike had done, "What did she say?"

Mike shrugged, looking down. He didn't want to tell them. He didn't want them to know what she'd said… and what he didn't say.

"Mike," Ryan said, pressing, "She said something… you said something… there's no reason she wouldn't answer…"

Mike didn't know what to say. Would he tell the truth? That she knew there was something between him and Max? What would Ryan say? What would Max say?

His eyes flickered to Max. She wasn't sure of him anymore. He'd been vulnerable last night, alone… struggling. He looked like he was drowning now. And maybe… guilty?

"Mike…" Ryan said again, jaw hardening.

Mike met his eyes. "She's out… she's done… she doesn't want to do this anymore…"

Max swallowed hard. This was the last thing Mike needed, for Hannah to leave him because this was too much for her. Mike couldn't handle someone abandoning him, not now.

Ryan sighed. He hadn't seen this coming… Hannah had held it together so well… this hadn't been too much for her… she knew why she had to go… she was fine when he talked to her last night… she was… trying to help Mike… she wouldn't all of a sudden decide she couldn't do this anymore…

He studied Mike's face, looking for discrepancies…

But Mike had been so distraught and distracted that Ryan couldn't tell if he was being truthful…

"Why can't we contact her? Wouldn't she want us to get her home?" Ryan asked, not bothering to disguise the suspicion in his voice.

Mike shrugged. "She didn't say…"

Ryan cocked his head. There was no way that Hannah would want out but want to stay with the militia in Montana…

"I'll keep trying her," Max said to Ryan. Even if she told Mike that she didn't want anything to do with this anymore, they had to talk to her.

"Maybe she doesn't want to talk to anyone…" Mike asked sadly, not wanting to hear about her anymore, not wanting to talk about her anymore.

Ryan watched his face. Something wasn't right. Either something happened… or Mike wasn't telling the whole truth.

* * *

"How'd you sleep?" Jason asked carefully, setting a mug of tea in front of her

He already knew the answer. He hardly slept at all. He woke up every two hours. And so had Logan. They slept on opposite shifts. They'd only run into each other twice in the night checking on Hannah.

Neither looked worse for the wear now. They were both well rested, used to only sleeping three or four hours a night.

Hannah shrugged, trying to seem fine. "Alright…"

Jason drank his coffee. He knew it was a lie.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, hoping for a better response.

Hannah shook her head, frowning.

Jason sighed. "You need to eat…"

Hannah's eyes felt swollen and she knew she looked like crap. "I'm not hungry."

Jason didn't argue. He looked to Logan who sat typing on a laptop, his eyes were focused and he wouldn't be distracted.

"Where's my phone?" she asked, not noticing it on the counter where she'd left it, not even sure if she wanted to see it.

Jason watched her. "I put it out in the truck… I thought maybe you'd want some space from it… would you like it?"

She thought for a second and then shook her head. "No… I don't…"

She didn't want to know if she had any missed calls, any missed messages. She knew, with a knot in her stomach, that there wouldn't be any. Especially not from Mike.

"I checked it this morning," Jason said carefully, treading lightly, "You had five missed calls from someone named Max… she wanted you to call her back immediately."

Hannah felt the knot in her stomach tighten.

Mike had probably told Max what Hannah said… and perhaps Max was calling to tell Hannah that there was nothing between her and Mike. Maybe Max would try to deny it…

"Do you want to call her back?" Jason asked, interrupting her thoughts.

Hannah shook her head. "No…"

She didn't want to hear what Max had to say… she knew for herself what was between Max and Mike… she didn't want to hear Max try and deny it.

Hannah rubbed her eyes. She was holding herself together with everything she had. Sick to her stomach that both Logan and Jason had seen here completely fall apart. More than she had her entire life.

Jason turned his gaze to Logan. "Everything set up?"

Logan nodded. "It is."

Jason swallowed. "Good."

Hannah looked to Jason for an answer.

"Logan set up some cyber surveillance for you," he explained, "If anyone searches for your name, your job, or your family, we'll be notified."

Hannah frowned, didn't Max set that up?

"Since the uh… situation last night, I don't want to rely on the FBI or anyone else for information," Jason said, rubbing the back of his neck, "As of right now, it looks like we're on our own… we need to take this seriously. Logan set it all up."

Hannah looked to Logan who smiled proudly.

"This Logan?" she asked incredulously, "He can't be more than 18!"

Logan grinned. "I'm 24."

"Logan was in the Army for six years. He was in the Cyber Surveillance and Counter Intelligence Unit in Afghanistan, Iraq, Bahrain, Qatar, and Kuwait. He only got out three months ago and joined up with us," Jason said proudly, "He does excellent work."

Logan smiled, slightly embarrassed. "It wasn't really that hard… I set up a system to track your name and lo and behold, the NYPD already set up a cyber trap to track searches for your information. All I had to do was hack into their mainframe and add ourselves in on the notification."

Hannah was a little shocked. Not only was Logan a lot older than he looked, closer to her own age, she had no idea he was in cyber surveillance. She had completely underestimated him

"Surprised?" Logan asked, smiling, blonde hair falling into his eyes- still very Golden Retriever like.

Hannah nodded. "Very."

Logan smiled. "Anyways, both Jason and I will be alerted if there's a search on your name. Everything the NYPD and FBI know, we'll know, too."

Jason exhaled, relieved about that. After last night and whatever happened, he wasn't sure if they could trust the FBI anymore… he felt much better having their own security in place.

Hannah looked down. There was no more need for the phone Max gave her… There was no need to communicate with Max, Ryan, or Mike anymore… Jason and Logan had stepped up to the challenge and had taken care of things.

"We'll only let Richard know if we have to," Logan said to Jason who nodded.

"Why Richard?" Hannah asked about the only name she knew in the militia.

Logan met her eyes. "He's in charge of perimeter and security. If necessary, we'd all defend the militia, but Richard is in charge of keeping everything working and monitored. He only needs to know about Lily Gray and her wackos if there's an imminent threat."

Hannah nodded. "And what about Caleb?"

"What about me?" a voice said from the front porch.

Jason smirked. "About time. I bet she was starting to believe you're a ghost."

A tall man with the strongest jaw she'd ever seen chuckled as he came in through the front door. "I may as well be, huh?"

Hannah got up from her chair, feeling very uncomfortable. Caleb was nothing of what she expected.

She expected a big, older mountain man with a beard and a hat with an AR-15 strapped to his shoulder.

Instead, Caleb, though still big, was very handsome. A strong jaw, hair kept short, dark eyes, and a corduroy jacket. She guessed him to be somewhere in his thirties.

"Caleb," he said, eyes sparkling, extending his hand to her.

"I'm-"

"Hannah," he finished, "I know… I'm sorry it's taken me this long to introduce myself. I hope Jason has been a good host."

She smirked, still not relaxed. "He has been. Thank you for letting me come."

She didn't add that Logan had told her that women weren't welcome.

Caleb smiled. "Of course. The militia isn't just for show. We offer the same safety that the police and military do."

He smiled at her but she didn't return it as easily. He saw her apprehension and he took note of it.

"Hannah, it was nice to finally meet you. I'm sure I'll see you again," Caleb said, turning to Jason, "Outside?"

Jason nodded dutifully and followed Caleb out. Hannah could see Caleb clap Jason on the back as the two smiled and started talking.

Logan came to stand next to Hannah, eyes on them.

"He isn't what you expected either, huh?" Logan asked.

She shook her head. "Not at all. I didn't think he'd be that young…"

Logan made a noise of agreeance. "He's only been in charge for the past seven years."

Hannah's eyes stayed on Caleb and Jason outside. "What happened to the old leader? How did Caleb get to be leader so young?"

Logan stiffened. "There's only two ways… if a leader resigns, the next highest ranking person takes the lead."

"How do the ranks work?" she asked, curious.

"It's a combination between military service and years in the militia. Military service counts double… Jason did eight years with the Marines and two with the militia so that makes eighteen for ranking purposes. I did six years Army so that gives me twelve. There are some guys who grew up in the militia but their time only counts from age 16 and up… so if they're 30 now, they only can count fourteen for them…" Logan explained.

Hannah's head spun with numbers.

"But Caleb isn't that old… he wouldn't have enough years between military and militia to outrank everyone else…" she said, skeptical.

"Bingo," Logan said under his breath, "Caleb took charge by the second route."

She looked to him, waiting for him to finish.

"A current leader can resign to the next highest ranking member… or they can be challenged for their position…" Logan said carefully, "From what I understand, Caleb challenged Marcus…"

"What does that mean?" she asked, slightly worried.

Logan shifted his weight. "Caleb spotted Marcus' weakness and exploited it. Marcus was over fifty and his eyesight wasn't as good as it used to be. Caleb challenged him on the range and he won fair and square."

"What happened to Marcus?" Hannah asked, hoping the result wasn't death.

"He left," Logan said, "He was going to retire anyways but word is that he joined up with a different militia somewhere down south."

"What's stopping others from challenging Caleb?" she ask, curious. Why wasn't there anarchy?

Logan shrugged. "He's a good leader. Everyone likes him. And you have to remember, most of us are military bred. Not all of us want to be in charge of everyone else. Some of us like being in the platoon and keeping our heads to the ground. And not everyone is suitable for leadership like that. There's only a few who would even be notable for it."

Caleb smiled at Jason and started down the steps. Jason watched him go, staying on the porch.

"So if someone doesn't challenge Caleb, who would be the highest rank that would take over the militia?" she asked, wondering if that would be Richard.

Logan looked at her. "You don't already know?"

She waited, eyes confused.

Logan scoffed. "The next highest ranking person after Caleb is Jason."

* * *

"You okay?" Max asked softly, noticing that Mike had spaced out again, "I'm sorry about Hannah…"

Mike looked up, lost in his own thoughts. "Yeah… thanks…"

He looked down again. He felt weak… He'd been losing it… and he'd felt the comfort of another woman… of Max… and Hannah knew it…

She'd confronted him about it… no… she'd… she told him it was okay… and that she understood…

"She said she was just done?" Max asked, confused and concerned for Mike.

"What?" Mike said, distracted, "Yeah… she doesn't want to be part of this anymore…"

Max leaned closer, wanting to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry…" she said, "I know you really liked her…"

Mike swallowed. 'Liked' wouldn't be the word he used to describe how he felt about Hannah… No… it was more than that… and she knew it, too… she knew it… and still…

Max put her hand on Mike's shoulder. "It's going to be okay…"

Mike turned to look at her. Max's dark eyes were soft, her hair framing her face perfectly, her eyes searching his for any way to help him.

Mike's eyes were vulnerable, lost, and confused. He liked Hannah, no… more than liked her… he missed her… but… she'd been right… there was something with Max… he could almost feel it vibrating between them.

He leaned and kissed her before he realized he'd done it.

Max sat back, confused. She'd felt something with Mike but… no… he was confused… upset about losing both his dad and Hannah… he didn't mean to kiss her… he wouldn't…

"We have a problem," Ryan said abruptly from the doorway.

Max turned quickly, putting more distance between her and Mike, knowing fully well that Ryan would flip out over seeing them together.

"Someone inside the FBI conducted a search on your user history, Mike," Ryan said quickly, "There was an anomaly… outside of Joe Carroll and Lily Gray, you looked up someone named Jason Andrews… which shows he's involved in a militia in Montana… A quick background check of Jason reveals that way back when, he was associated with Adam Evans… Hannah's brother…That's where she is, isn't she?" Ryan said, lowly, "Whoever conducted that search on you in the FBI knows she's there."


	31. Chapter 31

"Are you gonna actually tell me what the hell is going on?" Ryan demanded.

Max had gone to check her systems to make sure there weren't any more alerts.

Mike grabbed his coat off the back of the couch, ignoring him.

"Mike, where are you going?" Ryan snapped.

"To get Hannah," he said, almost at the door.

"Why? You didn't even seem concerned this morning when we couldn't reach her," Ryan countered, still not convinced by Mike's sudden concern.

"I'm going," Mike said, opening the door, "She's my-"

Ryan reached and closed the door in front of him.

"She's your what?" Ryan antagonized, "Apparently she wasn't that important this morning. You didn't care that we couldn't reach her. You said she was done? Is that what she said? Or is that what you told her? Are you done with her? Is that why she's done and doesn't want to talk to any of us?"

"That's not what happened," Mike said carefully, but still unsure what he would tell him besides the truth.

"So what happened then?" Ryan asked. He knew they were losing time but he wouldn't move an inch until Mike was truthful.

Mike hung his head. "I told her about last night... How Max sat with me... And... How she tried to talk to me. She told me she understood... Hannah said she knew there was something between me and Max... And I didn't correct her..."

Ryan stiffened. "Is there?"

Mike met his eyes briefly. "I don't know... Maybe... Hannah said she understood... That Max knew what I was going through and understood... Hannah said that me and Max made more sense than we did... And she just let whatever we had go..."

Ryan sighed. "And what do you think?"

Mike shrugged. "That maybe she's right..."

Ryan grabbed his jacket. "We don't have time right now... But our flight will be a few hours long. We'll talk then."

* * *

"How did you end up here?" she asked Logan, unsure of anyone in the militia.

"After my last tour was done, I wanted to do more. I didn't want to be stuck in a dark room with someone else's voice in my ear, looking at more piles of sand," he said, remembering that time only a few months ago, "a couple of my buddies had heard about this place and I thought I'd check it out. I met Jason and it seemed like a win win. Do what I love but still be my own person. No rules or bullshit to deal with."

"And what do you think now?" She asked, wondering if he still thought this was paradise.

Logan shrugged. "I still enjoy it but we'll see how long I stick around."

Jason came back in the front door.

"Everything okay?" Hannah asked, still uncertain of Caleb.

Jason glanced back over his shoulder. "Yeah. Everything's fine. You sure you don't want your phone? I don't want you to feel like I'm isolating you up here…"

Hannah shrugged. She did miss the connection to the outside world… but she didn't want to see missed calls from anyone… or the lack of calls from anyone.

"I'm okay," she said, "Is there anywhere I can take a walk or something? Just get outside for a while? But not get accosted by anyone?"

Jason chuckled. "Yeah… sorry about that. There are a couple of trails up here on the mountain. Logan can go with you."

Hannah frowned. "I'll be okay by myself."

Logan looked slightly offended.

"Hannah," Jason said carefully, "I'd prefer someone to go with you. Not everyone knows you're here and I don't want someone to give you a hard time."

"I'll walk behind you the whole way," Logan said, offering, "You won't even know I'm there…"

She rolled her eyes, annoyed. "Fine."

* * *

"Okay," Ryan said, buckling his seatbelt, "Tell me the whole thing again…"

Mike shifted uncomfortably. The plane hadn't even taken off yet.

"C'mon, out with it," Ryan said, not playing around.

Mike sighed. "I told Hannah about how Max sat with me last night and was trying to make me feel better… she said that Max and I had something that she and I would never have. That Max understood what I was going through since we've been together a lot and have been going after Lily Gray together.

"She said that she knew there was something between me and Max… and that it was okay… that we were never really together to begin with… She didn't want to be the reason why I stayed away from Max…"

It was Ryan's turn to shift uncomfortably. "Okay… here's the thing, Mike… this isn't about Hannah or Max…"

Mike frowned. In his mind, it had everything to do with them.

"Hear me out," Ryan said, "We've been in very stressful situations lately… we've had to rely on each other a lot more than we planned. As frustrated as we were with each other, you and I have had to cut each other a break and trust each other. Same with Max. The three of us have been through a lot with each other over the past month. We've had to trust and look out for each other. In any partnership, in any team, there's a connection. There has to be.

"That's where you're getting confused… what you feel for Max is what you'd feel for any other woman with us. The reason why we grieved so much for Debra? She was one of us. Max is one of us. You've been through a lot with her and she's been trying to help you through losing your dad… That's the connection."

He took a deep breath, "Let's say you decide to see what happens with Max, which I'll have other things to say, but if you do… what happens after we catch Lily Gray and Joe Carroll? She'll move on and go back to her job, so will you. Will you still have that same connection that you do with her now? There's a difference between wanting someone to be your partner on the job and wanting someone to be your wife…"

Mike thought about it. Was that the connection he had with Max the result of all the stress they'd been through together?

Ryan wasn't finished. "Now, Hannah's confused about that, too. She's right when she said she'll never have that kind of connection with you. But that's a good thing. Mike, you can't make your job your entire life. Who would you rather come home to every day? Hannah or Max? Or rather, any woman you ever work on a case with? You have to learn to separate yourself from who you work with… Otherwise, whoever you end up with, you'll find yourself drawn to your work partner."

Mike swallowed hard. He didn't like that idea. He didn't want to be with someone but find himself drawn to someone else… to have a connection with someone else.

"But if you really do like Max," Ryan said carefully, "Then Hannah did you a favor. But I think you need to decide what you're actually feeling. Is it the result of the stress and our bonding… or is it more than that?"

Mike thought carefully. He felt ashamed now that Ryan had put it all out there. There was a difference. He'd felt something for Debra, too. Not close to what he felt for Max… but he'd loved Debra and had grieved for her. He felt her loss.

He was embarrassed that Hannah had called him out on it… and that he hadn't said anything.

"_Mike… you and Max make so much more sense than we do… we were never really together… and you don't need to stay away from her just because of me… You two have a connection… it's okay…"_

Ryan could see him struggling, confused.

He put his hand on Mike's shoulder. "Don't worry, man… We've been having a hard time. Max knows it, too. Hannah will understand."

Mike shook his head. "I don't think so… you should've heard her, Ryan… she sounded like I crushed her…"

He had never wanted Hannah to feel like that… he almost never thought it was possible. Hannah was a rock…

She'd never made him feel guilty for missing anything. She never made anything a big deal. She was her own island, hidden behind her wall…

The wall that he'd worked so hard to make his way behind, to break down, to rebuild with her with something stronger than fear and uncertainty.

But he'd heard it, in her voice, that the wall had gone back up, and he was on the other side of it again.

Ryan shrugged. "If she's the one you actually want to be with, you'll find a way to make it work."

* * *

"Logan, this is stupid," Hannah finally said, annoyed with him walking behind her for the past twenty minutes, "You can walk with me."

Logan did as ordered and sped up to walk beside her. Hannah didn't look at him.

"Don't you ever get bored here?" she asked, feeling stir crazy.

Logan shook his head. "Not yet. There's plenty to do. Just because I've been around you and Jason lately doesn't mean I don't do anything if I wasn't."

"Why _are _you around me and Jason so much?" she asked suspiciously.

Logan shrugged. "Jason's my friend. And he didn't intend on telling me about you. I kind of figured that out myself when I came over yesterday. And since I already knew, he asked me to keep you company if he had to go out."

She shot him a look. "And he didn't want anyone messing with me."

"Exactly," Logan said.

"And why is that?" she asked, again suspicious, "Why would anyone mess with me?"

Logan raised his eyebrows into his shaggy blonde hair. "You saw how Richard reacted. He's a jerk anyways, but some of the other guys might have that reaction, too. They're not used to seeing strangers or women."

"I still don't get that," she said, pressing for more information. Caleb gave her an uneasy feeling but she wasn't going to tell Logan that.

"Caleb doesn't allow women. But there is a story to that one…" Logan said, Hannah waited for it, "You probably don't know but there are a lot of women who only date military men. In the service, we call them barracks bunnies or tag chasers. They usually sleep their way through an entire platoon or don't date anyone not in uniform. Apparently it happens in the militia, too.

"Anyway before Caleb challenged Marcus, he had a girlfriend, back when girlfriends and wives were allowed on the property. Apparently, Angela was a barracks bunny behind Caleb's back. He was furious when he found out. A couple of the guys rubbed it in his face. After he challenged Marcus, he made it a rule that women weren't allowed and those guys that rubbed it in his face, he banned from the militia and kicked them out."

Hannah gaped. "All because his girlfriend cheated on him?"

Logan shrugged. "Guy took it hard."

She shook her head. That was a little extreme.

"No girlfriend for you?" she asked him, a little curious about him.

He shook his head. "Not for a while… I was deployed 90% of my service. Ashley didn't stick around for long…"

Hannah glanced at him. "She didn't like you being away a lot?"

Logan shrugged. "She was a trooper… but she couldn't handle Germany."

"What happened in Germany?" she asked, confused.

"When I was in Kuwait, we were traveling to the base and we hit an IED. When our Humvee flipped, it crushed my arm. They couldn't fix it at the base so they flew me to the base in Germany. Ashley flew out to see me," he said, eyes down casting, "She couldn't handle seeing me in the hospital… in her mind, it could've been a lot worse. She was scared she could've lost me… so she decided she didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't see or talk to her again."

Hannah winced. That must've been rough on him. But she did remember how scared she'd been when Mike had called her to his apartment last year… when Roderick had nearly killed him.

"_Jesus, Mike!" she gasped, not realizing how bad he really was._

_He leaned on his doorframe, holding himself up, his face still seeping blood and bruised._

"_It's not that bad," Mike said, wincing._

_Hannah pushed her way in, Mike struggling to lock the door behind her._

"_My god," she gasped, covering her mouth. Mike's bare chest was covered in cuts, bruises, and bandages. It hurt him to breathe. She had no idea how he'd survived this._

"_I'm a lot better now than I was," he insisted._

_She frowned. "C'mon, let me get you to bed."_

_He didn't argue and let her guide him to his bed, gently getting him in, which was a struggle as his ribs felt like scraping through his chest._

"_I told you, I'm okay," he said, trying to laugh it off, "My doctor just didn't want me alone in case, you know, I don't wake up."_

_Hannah frowned. _

"_Ha. Ha," she said sarcastically, "You need to be more careful."_

_Mike struggled to smile. "Yes, ma'am."_

"_Go to sleep," she ordered, "When you wake up, I'll make you breakfast."_

_He smiled, closing his eyes. "Geez, breakfast? I should've injured myself sooner."_

_Hannah smirked and waited for him to fall asleep. It hadn't even been two minutes._

_After he was asleep, she cleaned his kitchen. It hadn't been dirty, but her nerves wouldn't let her settle down. Seeing someone she knew that badly hurt scared her. Few things scared her. The accident with Adam didn't scare her but seeing him in the hospital did._

_After she was done cleaning, she went to check on him. His breathing was so quiet, she could barely hear him. It made her nervous. What if he didn't wake up?_

_So she took post in the chair next to his bed, making sure he stayed alive all night. Eventually, she gave in laid down in bed with him, just for a minute to rest her eyes… he wouldn't have to know…_

Hannah almost laughed thinking that had been a year ago. Things had definitely changed… for the better… laughing with him, eating dinner with him, in bed with him… She smiled remembering the way he smiled at her. The way he touched her… but now… Her face fell… Things were definitely different.

"Anyways," Logan said, "No girlfriend now."

"Hmm," Hannah said, still stuck in her thoughts of Mike, trying to push times with him out of her head.

Somehow they made their way back to Jason's. Jason was waiting on the front porch for them, looking stiff and a little distracted.

"Hannah… a guy named Ryan Hardy is here to see you…"


	32. Chapter 32

When they neared the gate, Hannah could see Ryan talking to Richard… Great…

"See, I told you she was here," Ryan said exasperated, rolling his eyes.

Richard was fuming. His angry glare turned to Jason.

"He's FBI, Jason. You didn't think I should know about this?" Richard spat.

"Ah, well I'm sure you'll figure all this out later. Hey, Hannah," Ryan said nonchalantly.

He took a step towards her but Richard blocked his entrance into the property.

Ryan looked at him, frowning. "Really?"

Richard didn't back down.

"Listen, here's the deal. You don't like me. I don't like you. You can threaten me with your big guns, but the truth is, mine are bigger. And the FBI has more," Ryan said casually, "So let's just knock it off so I can do what I came here to do."

"What did you come here to do?" Jason asked, hands in his pockets.

"Take Hannah home," he said, taking another attempt at a step towards her.

Richard held his ground.

"Seriously, man?" Ryan said, annoyed.

"Let him in," Jason said coolly.

Richard looked like he was going to blow a gasket. Ryan smiled at him annoyingly and stepped past him, going to Hannah.

"You alright?" he asked, looking her over.

"Yeah," she said, confused, "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," Ryan said, looking for a place to talk to her privately, "Is there…"

"You can come back to my place," Jason offered, extending his hand to Ryan, "Jason Andrews."

"Ryan Hardy," he returned, taking his hand, "Your man Richard is a piece."

Jason smiled. "Tell me about it."

They started towards Jason and Hannah remained thoroughly confused. Why was Ryan here? Was he going to try and convince her that Mike and Max didn't have anything together?

Her head spun. Was this about Lily Gray? Joe Carroll? Was everything okay? Was everyone okay?

Rather than tell her, Ryan walked with Jason, catching up with him like they were old friends. Logan trailed behind them.

"I'm sure you're confused about why I'm here," Ryan told Jason.

Jason waited for him to continue.

"There's been a development and we need to move Hannah, it's no longer safe for her here," Ryan said carefully.

Jason glanced to Logan. "We have our own security and we haven't had any indications that Hannah is no longer safe here."

Ryan cleared his throat. "We have security monitoring her… but the development wasn't about her… it was about you… we have information that someone found out about you and your connection to her brother. The person looking for her will know she's here."

Ryan had thought about beating around the bush or telling Jason a different story but that would be pointless. As far as he was concerned, Jason was his ally and would see through any excuse for a story besides the truth.

Jason glanced back at Logan again. They'd planned for someone looking for Hannah, they hadn't planned for something looking for him.

They reached the front steps of Jason's.

"I need to speak to Hannah privately," Ryan said, wondering if he was pushing his luck.

Jason nodded. Logan looked reluctant. "Logan, it's okay," Jason told him.

Logan followed Jason inside. Jason winked at Hannah reassuringly as he went in.

Ryan turned to Hannah. "Hey… you really okay?"

Hannah was still stiff. Seeing Ryan reminded her of Mike. She nodded. "What are you doing here?"

Ryan sighed patiently. "I need to take you home. It's not safe for you here anymore. Someone hacking into the FBI mainframe and looked up Jason. They know you're here…"

Hannah swallowed. "You could've just called…"

Ryan cocked his head. "You wouldn't answer your phone anymore."

Shit… She forgot about that. She grit her teeth.

"We just gotta get you out of here," Ryan said regretfully.

She nodded, not surprised that even the militia wasn't safe anymore.

"Get your bag, we need to go," Ryan said. He tried to be reassuring. He knew how scared Claire was every time she had to be moved.

Hannah took a deep breath in. She wasn't ready to get home. She wasn't ready to run into Mike again. She didn't want to talk to him. She was glad that if anyone had to come get her, it was Ryan.

She walked in through the front door and Jason was leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. Logan sat at the table.

"So you're really going?" Jason asked carefully. He didn't want her to go… but he trusted that Ryan Hardy was telling the truth. They hadn't planned on anyone looking him up. But if it wasn't safe… he would do what was necessary to make sure Hannah was safe, too.

Hannah nodded. "Yeah… I need to…"

Jason looked down, then looked to Ryan. "You're sure about all this?"

Hannah went back to the room that had been hers in the short time she'd been there. Her things were all still in her bag, waiting for her beside the bed.

Jason cleared his throat from the doorway. "Hey, girly…"

Hannah slung her bag over her shoulder, looking up. "Hey…"

Jason breathed deeply from where he stood. "You sure about this?"

Hannah shrugged. "I'm not really sure about anything anymore."

He nodded. "Fair enough… well… if you need anything again, you know how to find me…"

She smirked. "Thank you, Jason… I mean it…"

He smiled, pulling her into him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Stay safe, girly," he said against her hair.

"You, too," she said, hoping Lily Gray wouldn't unleash her fury on the militia after she left.

He stepped back, a little sad to see her go.

"C'mon," he said sadly, "Let's get you going."

In the kitchen, Ryan and Logan waited silently. Logan's eyes fell seeing her with her bag.

Hannah hugged him on the way out the door. "Thanks, Logan… stay out of trouble."

Logan smiled. "No promises."

Logan and Jason watched her go with Ryan down the front steps.

"Well that went easier than I thought," Ryan said appreciatively. He was hoping he wouldn't have any trouble getting her out. He knew militias got suspicious easily. This had gone relatively painless. But why shouldn't it have? They were friends?

They walked towards the front gate.

"I'm sorry you had to come all this way to get me," Hannah said regretfully, "I should've kept my phone near…"

Ryan shrugged. "We were worried… but I'm glad you were okay."

She sighed. She forgot that Max and Ryan were involved in this, too. By ditching her phone to avoid Mike, she'd ignored them, too.

"Our flight is in an hour," Ryan continued, checking his watch, coming to a stop outside the gate.

"How are we getting there, exactly?" she asked, confused. She knew it was a drive to the airport… and there was no car in sight.

Ryan held his breath. "Mike is driving us…"

Hannah stopped in her tracks, heart stopping.

"Mike is _here_?" she almost screeched.

Ryan winced. "I knew you wouldn't have them let me in if he was there, too. And I knew you wouldn't talk to me if I brought him… he's been waiting at the bottom of the mountain."

Hannah's eyes scrunched shut. She didn't want to see Mike. She didn't want to meet his eyes or look at him. She didn't want to see his look of sympathy that she still had to see him and was still involved in all this.

"Look, I'm sorry," Ryan said, apologizing for misleading her, "But there was no way he wasn't coming. He was worried because it wasn't safe here anymore."

"Worried?" Hannah spat, "There's no need for him to be worried."

Ryan didn't fight her. He didn't want to tell her what he and Mike talked about… It wasn't his place.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," she said angry, "Fuck."

"I know," Ryan said, still apologetic, "And I know that's the reason why you weren't answering any calls from us…"

Hannah's eyes widened. Furious.

"He told you?" she growled, "So you know everything then? That there's a thing with him and Max? And that I'm taking myself out of the equation?"

Ryan's look confirmed it. He checked his watch. "He'll be here in two minutes."

Hannah groaned, flipping her long hair over her shoulder. "I'm not talking to him…"

Ryan nodded. "That's fine… He doesn't expect anything…"

A knot began to grow in her stomach. Maybe Mike didn't even want to talk… Maybe he was coming because it'd been him who got her mixed in all this… Maybe he'd gone to Max once she'd released him from their relationship.

A dark sedan pulled in front of them and Hannah could catch sight of Mike in the front seat. Just the glimpse of him made her heart wrench and her stomach churn. Dear God, how was she supposed to handle this all the way back to New York?

Mike put the car in park and got out. He wanted to say something to Hannah, anything. But she had her bag gripped tight and went around the back of the car to the backseat of the passenger's side. She wouldn't look at him.

She hung her hair over her shoulder, obscuring a good view. He couldn't tell if it was anger or hurt he'd seen on her face. He couldn't tell… But he didn't want to see either one.

But seeing her… he wanted to take her in his hands, her body close to his chest. He missed the times when she welcomed him home with a smile, happy to see him. She was anything but happy right now. And it crushed him.

She wanted to look at him, honestly. She wanted to see if he'd been dreading seeing her… or he'd wanted to. If he had come out of duty or out of care. If he was freed by her release or if he regretted letting her let it all go.

Ryan was the only one who saw the look on Mike's face. Distraught and crushed. He'd wanted to talk to Hannah… he was stunned to see her ignore him so coldly. He knew she would be upset… but… he hadn't realized it would be like this. That it would be this hard on him.

"She didn't realize you'd be here," Ryan said, going over to his door on the other side of the car.

Mike took in a deep breath. He hadn't realized it would be this hard…

He got in and glanced back at Hannah. Bag on her lap, she looked out the window, focusing on a tree in the distance rather than his reflection. If she looked at him, even his reflection, she'd be undone.

She managed to ignore him and they sat in silence all the way to the airport and onto the plane.

Anytime he came near, her eyes would look away or down. And every time, it hurt him.

But he had caused this… he'd let the bond he had with Max and Ryan get in the way… and give her doubts. And he never corrected her.

She must still think that he felt that way… that he had that connection with Max and that they no longer had anything together.

Oddly, however, as much as she held it together and never let anything bother her, he could tell that this did.

When they got on the plane, she took the window seat so she could isolate herself. Mike went to sit next to her, but Ryan stopped him, taking the seat beside her instead.

As much as Mike wanted to fix things, this was too soon. Hannah refused to look at Mike, she would not take kindly to having to sit that close to him for over an hour.

Ryan sat down and Hannah was grateful, she wouldn't have been able to stand being that close to Mike and not looking at him, not touching him.

The whole way home, Mike tried to look at her, catch any glance at her. But she stayed strong, a visual representation of her wall and she never looked his way once.

She knew her neck would have a crick in it when they landed but she didn't care. She would not, absolutely would not, fall apart on the plane looking at him. She knew that the second she looked at him, she would lose it. But she would try her best to hold it together.

When they landed, Ryan went in the cab with them back to their apartment building. Hannah quickly said thank you to Ryan and went inside before Mike could try and talk to her. She would apologize to Ryan later about being rude.

Mike started to go in.

"Play it smart, Mike," Ryan said carefully. He didn't want Mike to mess this up because he rushed it. "It'll take some time…"

Mike nodded. He'd gotten himself into this mess… he'd have to make it right.

He climbed the stairs to his place as he heard Ryan's cab leave. He hadn't spent the night in his own apartment for a while. He'd been at Ryan's… or at Hannah's.

He hesitated. _Play it smart_.

Mike swallowed hard. He had to fix this. He knew what he needed to say to her… maybe not what she wanted to hear… but he knew what needed to be done…

Against his better judgment, he climbed the stairs to her door and knocked softly.

"Hannah… it's me… I know you're there and I don't want you to answer the door… I just… I want you to know that I want to talk to you when you're ready..." he said softly, wanting to tell her everything right then.

"Please just give me a chance to fix this…" Mike finished.

And he waited… just in case she ignored him and opened the door… hoping that maybe she'd speak to him back…

But she didn't. He gave it one more minute… and then went back downstairs to the apartment he hadn't been in in weeks.

But she had heard it. And as angry as she was, as upset as she was… she knew she'd let him talk when she was ready.


	33. Chapter 33

Hannah took the hottest shower she'd ever had, hot enough to scald her skin and then showered again. She washed her face twice, shampooed and conditioned her hair twice. Anything to feel normal again.

To feel stone cold, rock solid again. She hated emotions. Hated feeling out of control. Hated anything feeling less than okay.

But she'd let this happen to herself.

She heard what Mike said to her through her door… she already knew she'd let him say his piece, hear his side… but she wouldn't let him in again… She'd already learned her lesson… She wouldn't let herself feel like this again.

After her shower, she fell into bed without braiding her hair, wanting to sleep all of this away, forget any of it happened.

She slept hard and all the way through the night.

When she woke up, she made herself oatmeal and then went back to bed, closing all the curtains and shades. She wanted to go back to sleep. Her first sleep session hadn't erased anything. Maybe this one would.

Instead, she remembered moving into her apartment and meeting Mike for the first time.

"_Geez," Mike groaned, setting another box down in the empty living room, "What's in here?"_

"_Books," she grinned, "For my class. You can move them over there."_

_She pointed to a corner full of boxes she didn't intend to unpack there._

"_Want me to start unpacking them onto the bookshelf?" he asked, trying to help._

"_Nah," she said, ripping into another box, "Those need to go to school. You can go now, I think I've got it."_

_Her long hair hung over her shoulder and into the box she was unpacking, flinging it over her shoulder, she stood up and started to braid it._

"_No, it's okay, I'm a gentleman, I'll help," Mike said smiling, pulling throw pillows out of a box, "So school? You going to NYU?"_

_Hannah laughed and Mike saw how easy it was for her to do it. He smiled._

"_No," she said grinning, "I'm 26. I teach first grade."_

"_Oh," Mike said, realizing his mistake, still smiling, "I'm sorry! You look a lot younger."_

_Hannah smiled. "I get that a lot. Most parents are a little skeptical and ask me how old I am."_

_Mike smiled, following her as she took a box to the kitchen and started unpacking it._

_"What about you?" she asked, pulling out plates, "What do you do?"_

_Mike hesitated. "I'm in the FBI."_

"_Oh, cool," she said, eyes on the mugs she was unwrapping._

_Mike was surprised. Every other person who'd ask and he'd told was impressed and asked what he did. But she didn't. She said "Oh, cool" as if he said he was an investment banker._

_He watched the way she moved and the way she talked. He profiled her before he realized it, trying to shake it from his head. _

Hannah shook the memory from her head. She didn't want to think about Mike. No… she wouldn't be laying in bed all day and wallowing! NO! She was better than this!

Hannah threw off the covers and bolted out of bed, determined.

She kicked past her bag, still unpacked, on the floor from Montana. She grabbed jeans, a loose long sleeve shirt, and braided her hair, not caring that it was a mess since she didn't tend to it the night before.

She grabbed her library books and reusable bag and marched down the stairs. She would not let this day go to waste!

She noticed two marked police cars outside her building and another two unmarked cars down the block. Of course she was still being watched. Just because it wasn't safe in Montana anymore didn't mean she was safe at home…

Hannah headed to the library, finishing her books and checking out new ones. She thought about calling her principal to say that she'd be in to work tomorrow… but decided to give herself a few more days. She didn't like being away from her kids… but she couldn't do her job well if she was distracted like this.

After the library, she went to the farmer's market and restocked her supplies. She started thinking of what she would make this week for dinners… Would she make extra for Mike?

She shook her head no and put back the extra green pepper. She wandered past the craft booths and steered back towards the produce.

They reminded her of Mike… She had liked how interested he was when she took him to the market with her. He'd been so genuinely happy…

She remembered a time before that… the second time he kissed her… and then they'd fallen asleep on the couch.

"_You're okay with me," he said quietly, "I promise. You know I wouldn't let anything happen to you."_

She could almost feel the electricity in her veins when he kissed her then. She could remember what it felt like to fall asleep with him for the second time, his arms around her and her head on his chest for the first time.

Hannah shook her head again, groaning. This was ridiculous.

She checked her purchases in her bag and decided that she also needed some mozzarella cheese. Tonight she would make herself a nice snack with fresh mozzarella, a tomato, and basil. Yes, that would make her feel like herself again!

As she got back to her apartment, it was getting dark. She checked her watch. She'd spent the entire day out, distracting herself almost successfully. She almost smiled. A job well done!

She turned the corner and saw him walk up the stairs to their building.

Hannah froze. Mike turned and saw her. She felt like a deer in the headlights.

_Shit. Do I just turn and walk the other day? No… that's stupid. I'm better than that…_

Swallowing hard and avoiding his eyes, she marched up to the stairs and past him, head up, eyes ahead.

Mike stood dumbstruck. He hadn't expected to run into her. He'd planned on giving her space and not seeing her… but now…. He saw her and it killed him that she wouldn't even look at him, wouldn't even acknowledge him. He knew she was trying to get over it all… trying to tell herself that she was okay…

She was halfway up the stairs when he could move from where he stood.

"Hannah…" he called sadly, not being able to help himself.

Before she could stop herself, she looked at him.

He looked guilty, regretful, sad. He had the same empty look he had when he found out that his dad was killed.

Hannah tore her eyes away. No. She couldn't bear to see that look. She wouldn't.

She hurried up the stairs and into her apartment, safe and isolated, breathing harder than she'd expected.

She shook her head. This was stupid. She'd dealt with break ups before. Break ups were easy. She'd never had a problem with them or getting over someone.

This wasn't the same though… but she really didn't want to admit that.

Hannah unpacked her groceries and books and poured herself a glass of wine. Taking a sip, she felt her sorrow bubble up. She dumped the wine down the sink and took out a beer.

She thought about making that mozzarella and tomato snack… no… she needed something heavier.

So she made pasta with more vegetables than noodles, much more than she could eat herself. As she ate, she considered turning on the radio for some white noise.

Bowl of pasta in hand, she went to her entertainment system and turned on the radio. The CD player turned on automatically instead.

She forgot what CD she'd left in there until the song started playing.

_Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie  
Window broke, torn up screens  
Who'd have thought that you'd dream  
Of a single tragic scene_

_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just want to take it off of you  
_

Hannah groaned, she'd forgotten they'd left Blue Eyes playing last time. She wanted to turn it off and break the CD but she didn't. She left it on.

_Cause Blue Eyes  
You are all that I need  
Cause Blue Eyes  
You're the sweet to my mean_

She went to the kitchen and dumped out the rest of the pasta in her bowl. There was more left over… and she thought of putting it in a Tupperware for Mike… No… she would dump it out, too…

_Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand  
I can help you to stand  
Saved it up for this dance  
Tell me all the things you can_

Pan over the garbage, she couldn't do it. Angrily, she put packed it into a Tupperware and threw it into the fridge, pan tossed into the sink loudly.

This wasn't supposed to be this hard. She told him she didn't let people in. He knew… And he knew why… She had the wall up for a reason…

_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just wanna be the one that's true_

Cause Blue Eyes  
You're the secret I keep  
Cause Blue Eyes

No… whatever she and Mike had wasn't nearly the same as what he had with Max. They made sense together… There was a connection… He'd even said so….

She and Mike weren't even together… All the nights they spent together… no… they were just… friends… they'd had that conversation… He'd pressed her into admitting that they were more but no… they were just friends.

_All the lights on and you are alive  
But you can't point the way to your heart  
So sublime, when the stars are aligned  
But you don't know  
You don't know the greatness you are_

She put her hands on the sink. No… They'd been more than friends… and that was why this was so hard… Why she missed him… Why giving him up had torn her up one side and down the other. Why it'd hurt so bad when he said nothing at all…

It didn't matter. What's done was done. She'd given him up for the best. It was necessary. They were over.

She picked up her phone, brushing past all the missed calls, voicemails, and texts from her family and friends, worried that she hadn't returned their calls. She brushed past all of it to Mike's name, hesitating over the call button.

She took a deep breath and did it.

It rang until he answered breathless, getting to the phone just in time.

"I'll give you five minutes," she said flatly.

Mike was at her door in thirty seconds, breathless from running up the stairs.

She let him in, still not looking at him, still unsure if this was a good idea.

He was crushed all over again when he realized she still wouldn't look at him.

Hannah closed the door behind her and held her breath. She could do this. She could keep it together.

"Hannah, I'm sorry," Mike said quietly, not bothering to take off his jacket.

That had been even too much for her. Hearing his voice that close, having him that close to her.

She moved to the kitchen, she had to move to keep from breaking down.

"I should've called you back the other night," he continued, following her, "I was really upset and confused…"

A knot formed in her stomach. What if he was going to admit there was something between him and Max and he was trying to clear the air to clear his conscience? She turned away from him and closed her eyes, that would kill her.

"What you said… that there was something between me and Max… you were right…" Mike said softly.

Hannah felt the knot in her stomach work its way up her throat.

"There is something between us but it's the same thing as what we have with Ryan… we're all working so close together… in some really bad situations… we've had to trust each other and… of course we'll get close because of that…"

The knot was expanding in her throat. This wasn't getting better or easier.

"Mike, you need to go," she said, her voice hoarse. She didn't want to hear this. She couldn't…

"Hannah, I'm not done," he said, coming closer to her. She moved away. "I was confused… and so were you… what I feel for Ryan and Max isn't the same thing as what I feel for you… You were gone… and I was confused…"

She still hadn't looked at him. Even if this was true… Max would still be a better fit for him. She would stand her ground.

"It's okay, Mike…" she said softly, "You don't need to explain it to me. I get it. You have something with Ryan and Max that we'll never have."

Mike touched her hand and she recoiled from it, the feel of his skin on hers was too much.

"That's just it, Hannah," he said, "I need to leave whatever bond I have with Ryan and Max at work… I can't make work my entire life… I don't want to… I worry about Max, yes, but I don't want to be with her. I confused the care I have for my team for something more… what I feel for you is so much more…"

She kept her gaze averted. He was just saying this because he had second thoughts. Perhaps because Max hadn't jumped into his arms or into his bed.

That thought made her stomach turn.

"Hannah…" Mike said desperately, "Everything that happened before you left… everything I said… I still mean it… I lost my dad… and then, for a few days… I lost you, too… I can't handle this as well as I thought…"

And then finally, against her better judgment, she looked at him. She looked up at him and the look in his eyes nearly broke her.

He looked as devastated as the night his dad died. Utterly lost and full of sorrow. Before, she'd wanted to hold him close and kiss it away… But now… she felt disconnected, the wall she'd built back up between them, keeping her safe.

He could see it in her eyes how much she'd crumbled. How much this had done to her. The guilt ate at him. He hadn't wanted this.

"I don't know what you want me to say…" she said, shrugging and shaking her head.

"Nothing…" he said, trying to grab at anything, "I just want you to listen…"

She waited, building her wall back up, telling herself that she was fine. She was okay.

"I'm sorry that I gave you doubts… that was my fault… I was confused and lonely… which isn't an excuse… but losing my dad… losing you… I misread the bond I have with Max and Ryan…" he said, trying to explain it again, "Hannah, I don't want to be with anyone else but you."

Hannah cocked her head, still cold. "Mike, we weren't together. This isn't a big deal."

He frowned, shaking his head. "We were together and you know it. And this is a big deal. I can tell you're upset about this as much as you try to hide it."

Her jaw hardened. It pissed her off that he was calling her out like that.

"I'm fine, Mike," she said icily, "I told you that I didn't want any kind of commitment or relationship."

Mike scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You can deny it all you want but you know we were together… and that's why you're so upset right now… that's why you stopped answering your phone and why you ignored me the whole way home."

Hannah took a stand, eyes furious. "You didn't hurt me, Mike. I'm not glass. I'm pissed because…"

"Because why?"

She grit her teeth, feeling the tears well up, trying to quell them down.

She looked away. "Because I let you in… I let you closer than I'd let anyone in a long time… and it blew up in my face… I knew it was going to happen but… I tried and it didn't work."

Mike frowned. "This wasn't your fault…"

"Yes, it was," Hannah insisted, "At some point or another this wouldn't have worked out and any hurt feelings I had because of it would be because I let myself feel that way."

He shook his head. "There should have been no reason for you to be upset… it was my fault for letting you think there was something with Max… I confused those feelings… Ryan… Ryan said that kind of stuff happens in our job… and it makes sense… Debra was more than just a co-worker… she was a really good friend… I'm going to be working with, and possibly losing, a lot of people I work with… and I'll be close to them… it's my responsibility to separate those feelings…"

Hannah winced. "So every time you work with someone new and nearly get killed with them this will happen again?"

Mike shook his head. "No… that's why I need to separate how I feel… it's okay to feel bonded to some people I work with… but I have to understand that that's not a romantic connection… I'd never had to separate it before…"

He could see Hannah calm down, her shoulders relaxed and she took a deep breath.

"It wouldn't work out between us anyways, Mike," she said, still convinced this was for the best.

Mike took a step towards her. "What do I need to say to make you understand how much you mean to me?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

She started to walk away again. Mike grabbed her hand and she shook it off.

"Hannah, I knew before you left how much I cared about you. I didn't say it but I should have then…" he said desperately.

"Mike, stop," she said, sounding tired.

"I've been crazy about you but I haven't said it. I haven't wanted to scare you away… but I should have… we could have avoided this…" he continued.

He put his hand on her arm and tried to turn her towards him but she resisted.

Mike gulped and stepped forward, putting both arms around her, pulling her back against his chest, her head under his chin.

He gripped her tightly to him, her back to his chest. "Do you know why I was so scared to see you on that screen? Why I sent you to Montana to keep you safe? It's because I love you."

She tried to knock his arms off her and get away, shaking her head.

"You don't love me. You love the idea of me. Someone normal, with a normal job outside yours," she said, still sounding tired.

"No," he said more gently against her hair, "I love _you_. All of you. I missed you. I missed our life together. You share everything with me. You have a life and you let me share it with you. The dinners, the breakfasts, showers, sleeping in bed with you… I love all of it."

She stopped fighting him but she didn't respond.

Mike tightened his grip on her and she didn't stop him.

"I love you, Hannah…" he said softly, "You know that I do… There's no one else but you. You're the only person I think about all day… the only person I want to come home to…"

Since she was no longer resisting, he turned her to face him. She looked down, still not meeting his eyes.

"You said a while ago that one day I would love someone or something more than my job…" he said looking down at her, "You were right… I love you more…"

She was sure he could feel her heart thumping against her chest. What he said absolutely thrilled her… and at the same time scared her to death.

Hannah swallowed, took a deep breath, and looked up at him.

He met her eyes and he could see everything that she'd been wanting to say to him, all the hurt she'd felt. But he could also see that what he said to her absolutely terrified her.

She was terrified of being that important to someone… of being that loved.

"Mike…" she said, her eyes tearing up again.

"I'm not finished," he said, "No matter what you say… I know that you love me, too… even if you won't say it… and you don't know what scares you more… the fact that I love you… or the fact that you love me, too…"

He could see in her eyes that he was right. His blue eyes hung on hers, waiting, hoping that she'd respond, heart beating rapidly.

She clenched her eyes shut, jaw trembling, sagging into him slightly. "This scares me to death…"

He pulled her against him tighter, pulling her chin against his chest, tucking his over her head. He sighed.

"I know…" he said gently, "It scares me, too… It killed me to send you to Montana… and then… when I thought you left me… it ate me alive…"

Then for the first time, she touched him, hands on his waist. He smirked.

"I know it may take you some time to forgive me," he said, understanding, "But I'm more than willing to make it up to you… No matter how long it takes."

"You don't need to…" she said quietly against his chest.

Mike pulled back and cupped his hands along her jaw, looking in her eyes. "I need to… I said all those things about wanting to do this right and then I messed it up… I need to make it right again…"

Hannah shrugged. "I just need to grow thicker skin."

Mike smirked. "Can't you just admit that you love me and I hurt you?"

She finally cracked a half smile. "Not a chance."

He smiled. "Fair enough… I love you, Hannah…"

He leaned and kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes. She felt broken but whole again, strong on her own two feet. She was okay. More than okay.

Hannah looked up at Mike, meeting his blue eyes and seeing that he'd told her the truth. He did love her. He'd meant every word.

Carefully, she leaned up and kissed him, her own terms, telling him in her own way. When her lips met his, his whole world pieced itself back together. He had done the right thing.


	34. Chapter 34

Hannah pulled back first and he checked her eyes, seeing just how guarded she still was.

He could see she was unsure, still nervous, but more relaxed, comforted.

She closed her eyes and leaned into him. "I did miss you..."

Mike smiled. Just her admitting that was huge. "I missed you, too... I don't like being away from you."

"Don't get clingy on me, now," she chastised with a small smile.

He grinned, pulling her close. She was sounding more like herself.

Her breathing was steadying and he was savoring being that close to her again.

"I'm happy to have you home," Mike said against her hair, closing his eyes.

She smirked. "So this is home, huh?"

He smiled. "Yeah... I spend more time here with you than my own place... So yeah... This is home."

Hannah smiled. To her relief, that thought didn't terrify her.

"Are you hungry? I have leftovers from dinner..." she said, offering some piece of normalcy.

He smiled. "No, I'm okay..."

She didn't press him. "Alright then…"

"Are you going back to work tomorrow?" he asked, hoping she wasn't. It was too soon.

Hannah shrugged and then shook her head. "Not yet… I needed to get control of myself before I did…"

He sighed. Her feeling out of control had been his doing. All him.

He kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry I sent everything out of whack for you…"

She frowned. Even though he was apologizing and had, a few seconds ago, told her he loved her, she didn't want him feeling like he had that much influence on her life. She didn't want to feel like someone else had done this to her.

"It's not a big deal," she said, averting her eyes.

He felt the change in her but he didn't point it out. He knew she needed to have control… just like she needed her carefully guarded wall. He wouldn't press her and revert her back to how she was a few minutes ago.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked softly, wishing she would look up at him.

She thought for a second. The strong side of her wanted to say yes. It wanted him to leave, to show him that she was still strong in her own right, still able to keep control. It didn't want to appear weak or like she had been struggling until he came to talk to her. It didn't want to ever be hurt again and would make sure it never happened. The strong side didn't want to let him see that anything he said had an effect on her. The strong side of her didn't like being loved and didn't want anyone to know that what he said was important to her.

The softer side of her wanted him to stay. It wanted him to curl up in bed with her and whisper things into her ear until she fell asleep. The softer side of her wanted him to know that he'd made a difference… that although letting him in had hurt… she was happy she did it.

Torn, she tried to trust her gut. But that laid behind the wall… which, itself, was now both the strong side and soft… had been rebuilt by her and Mike before… Part of the wall ached for him, still missed him. Part of it refused to ever let him back in again.

Hannah was tired of making decisions… tired of feeling in limbo…

He stood up straighter, making the best decision he could for them. "I'll go…"

Part of her wanted to immediately tell him no but she didn't…

Mike was a little disappointed… but he knew why she hadn't said anything.

It would have been easy for her to say "None of this was a big deal, hey do you want ice cream?" and brush it all off, chalk it up to nothing.

It would have been easy for her to say "You need to go" and be upset with him for longer.

He would have expected either reaction from her… but she'd thought about it… and she didn't have an easy, casual answer. He knew that meant something…

Mike stepped back but her hands stayed on his waist. He looked at her.

"I wouldn't say you're totally forgiven yet…" she said carefully, "But you can stay… I know you don't like being in your apartment alone anymore."

Mike smirked. He knew what she meant. "I know I have a long road ahead of me…"

Hannah scoffed. "Not that long… you know I don't hold a grudge."

He grinned. There she was… the normal Hannah was back again.

"You're sure you don't want dinner?" she asked, stepping back, physically brushing all the emotional heaviness off her.

Mike smiled. "Yeah I'm sure. I can still go home, you know."

She shrugged, conceding. "I don't want you to go."

He smirked. She was so casual about it… but she'd said it. And that meant a lot.

Smiling, he stepped forward to kiss her and she stepped back, mock horror on her face.

"You've got to stop this mushy gushy face you're giving me," she said, acting annoyed, "It's got to stop."

He grinned, stepping forwards anyways. "What? You mean the "I'm absolutely in love with you" look?"

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever it is, you need to stop!"

Mike scoffed, grinning, trying to reach out to her. "Not gonna happen."

Hannah crossed her arms. "Well then I'll send you home then!"

He stood his ground, grinning, calling her bluff.

Her smile cracked and he laughed. "I think you like it."

She rolled her eyes, unable to hold her smile. "Whatever."

Mike grinned, sliding his hands around her waist.

"I think you _like_ it," he teased. He could see her trying to force her smile away to be annoyed with him.

"I think you _love_ it," he crooned in her ear, "I think you love _me_."

Hannah's smiled dropped slightly, but still remained. "Don't push it."

He smiled, stopping himself. _Okay, too soon._

He tucked her head under his chin, her still pretending to be annoyed.

"I still love you, though," he said, not giving up.

She pushed him away jokingly. "I thought I told you to stop!"

Mike grinned, shrugging. "You just said to stop with the looks."

She rolled her eyes, exasperated.

He put on his best serious face. "Okay… honest Boy Scout… I'll try to control the looks."

Hannah looked at him unconvinced, but he held it together, giving her his serious face.

He leaned down to kiss her, hesitating above her lips, his warm breath on her face. "Am I still allowed to kiss you? Or is that against the rules, too?"

She bit her lip, his warmth all too tempting. His face that close to hers still gave her chills. The kind that ran all the way to her toes.

He waited, hesitating right where he stopped, letting her decide for herself. She said she didn't want him looking at her lovingly… what would she say about kissing?

"I suppose that's okay…" she whispered against his lips.

He smiled, lips sliding over hers.

He tilted her head up with his, hand coming to her neck, pulling her closer.

His lips deepened against hers and she felt like she was breathing right into him, her body molding against his.

Mike's hands slid down her back, around her hips, picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist, hands under her, keeping her up and against him.

She pulled back from his lips, hands on his neck and shoulders to keep her balance.

"Didn't I say to stop?" she asked playfully.

He grinned, eyes dark. "You said I couldn't look at you a certain way… you didn't say anything else!"

Hannah rolled her eyes, smiling. He hadn't been this playful in a long time.

"If I took you back to your bedroom right now, would you object?" he asked, smile fading, eyes growing darker.

She bit her lip. That was a harder decision to make. Between what her body wanted and what her heart wanted.

"What do you want?" she asked quietly, eyes on his.

"You know what I want…" he returned in a whisper, hands tightening on her.

"Say it…" she pressed despite herself.

"I want to be in bed with the woman I love," Mike said, blue eyes on hers.

She shuddered, lowering her head against his. "Okay… don't say it…"

He chucked, smiling. "You wanted me to say it…. You're going to need to get used to it."

Hannah raised her head, meeting his eyes again. It would be hard for her to get used to.

"So…" Mike said, already stepping backwards, "What do _you_ want?"

She smiled, not stopping him. "You know what I want…"

He grinned. He knew exactly. He knew she loved him. He knew she wanted him.

Mike kissed her again, lips playing over hers as he sat on the edge of her bed, her legs still around him, hands still on his shoulders.

His hands teased along the edge of her shirt but she was faster than him, hands already pulling his shirt over his head, lips heavy on his.

He could taste her nervousness and excitement, he could feel it in her hands.

Her shirt followed his to the floor and his lips fell to her shoulder, along her scar, her head tipping back, feeling his mouth on her. Her hands found their way to the back of his head, through his hair.

His lips trailed down her chest, between her breasts, fingers nimbly searching for the hook of her bra.

Finding it, he snapped it off, ripping it off her, her chest warmly colliding with his, bringing him that much closer to him, making him shiver. He loved the feeling of their chests pressed against each other, skin against skin.

She leaned against him and her lips rested against his once more, her hair falling over his shoulder and tickling his chest. He was surrounded in her.

He turned and hoisted her farther up the bed, settling his weight over her, remembering the feel of her skin, loving it. He loved feeling her under him.

His lips dropped to her neck again, down her chest, her stomach, inside her hip to her other scar, licking carefully. She groaned and it fueled him, wanting to make everything up to her, wanting to make her know how much she was loved.

He sucked the hollow of her hip and her back arched against him. He unbuttoned her jeans and slid them off, kissing her hip, hand on her thigh.

Her hands were on his shoulders, pulling him up, hands scrambling at the top of his jeans. Her fingers along his stomach made him shiver, breathless.

He looked at her and her hair was messy, her eyes glazed in lust and perhaps… something more.

He smiled and helped her with his jeans, kicking them to the floor and pulling her close, knee between hers.

She pulled him closer, lips on his, warmth against her skin. He kissed along her jawline, against her ear as he settled against her, arms sliding under her back to bring her closer.

Her knee slid against his hip, allowing him closer. He pressed against her and she groaned.

He licked her earlobe and she shuddered, back arching. He slid into her one tight inch at a time, her hands at his shoulders, face pressed into his neck, gasping.

Finally, fully there, he felt her move against him and it surrounded him: he absolutely loved her.

She shivered as his hips moved.

"I love you," he whispered with warm breath against her ear, unable to stop himself.

"Shut up," she groaned against his neck.

He smiled, pressing into her again. Her back arched.

"I love you," he said again, smiling.

She bit his shoulder to stifle a moan. "Stop it."

"I love you, Hannah," he said gently, smiling, pulling her closer to him, her hips raising to meet his, making her shake.

"I mean it," she said breathlessly, not sounding like she meant it at all.

He slid into her again and her head fell back, neck exposed and he kissed it and she whined.

She started to shake and he knew she was close. He moved to the side of her neck and licked.

"I-"

"I said," she growled, pushing him up and over, finding her place on top of him, hands on his chest, "Stop it!"

He smiled, hips moving up against her. She closed her eyes, unable to stop herself.

He moved between her hands, sitting up, arms around her, keeping her in his lap, precariously perched.

His hips moved against hers and she groaned into his shoulder, chest against his. No, she refused to hear it, she refused to let it effect her.

His hips drove up against hers as his hands tightened on her and knocked her tightly held self control away.

She shook against him, gasping, a whine coming from deep in her throat, body pulsing around him.

He grinned, her body going slack against him, his hips continuing as she held his shoulders, eyes heavy with satisfaction.

Her lips rested against his ear, groaning as he sought his own release, forehead pressed against her shoulder.

She gasped into his ear and that had been enough, sending him shaking over the edge. His fingers dug into her, holding her in place, keeping her still.

As his breath evened out, he raised his head and rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you, Hannah," he whispered, breathless.

"_Stop. It."_ she said, equally breathless and still gasping for air.

He smiled, eyes still closed. "Not a chance."

She scoffed, smiling.

Wincing, he pulled her back down onto the bed with him. She grabbed at the sheet and pulled it over them, settling back down against his chest. He was still breathing heavily.

"Alright there, boy scout?" she asked playfully and breathlessly.

He smiled. "Yes, ma'am."

Hannah smiled, closing her eyes, brushing hair off her face. "How many hours until you have to go to work?"

Mike groaned. "Did you have to bring that up?"

She shrugged, still smiling.

He checked his watch, arm feeling like a thousand pounds. "Eight hours…"

Hannah smiled, snuggling up to him. "Good."

He kissed her head, tempted to tell her that he loved her again but he didn't. He'd said it enough and she'd protested it enough for one night.

He would talk to Ryan tomorrow and he'd find a way to learn what Ryan knew… but until then… with Hannah curled against him, he would let himself enjoy this. She exhaled and he brought her closer, hand playing along the skin of her back, head tucked against his chest.

That was right where he wanted her: warm and gathered against him, her knowing that he loved her. And right then, he wanted nothing more.

* * *

Got a little graphic there, sorry!

Someone asked how long I intended to keep this whole thing going, which brought me to a thought: has it been going on too long? Should I end this gracefully rather than run it into the ground by making it too long? Let me know your thoughts!


	35. Chapter 35

In the morning, Hannah made them breakfast, like nothing had ever happened. Like she hadn't been crushed and like he hadn't said he loved her.

It amused him.

Her ability to shake everything off as if it wasn't a big deal made him smile. If he didn't know her any better, he would think she didn't care at all.

But he knew she did. She looked over at him as she poured him another glass of orange juice and he knew she cared.

That and the fact that she was wearing only his shirt at the moment, her hair in a messy braid, falling into her eyes. It was so big that it showed the scar on her shoulder completely, though she didn't seem to care.

He'd put his jeans back on when he'd gotten out of bed. He considered bringing some clothes up to her place for occasions like this… No… He wasn't sure how she would react to him moving a few things in.

"So," he said, swallowing a bite of French toast, "What are you doing today if you're not going to work?"

She shrugged, setting her orange juice down. "Not sure yet… I've been thinking that maybe I should go home for a little bit…"

Mike set down his fork, worried. Did she want to go home because she was still upset and needed more time away from him?

She looked up and saw the concerned look in his eyes.

"Just to visit," she said, disclaiming any other reason, "I haven't been home since Christmas and I already have the time off now…"

He nodded, relieved, taking another bite. "Makes sense."

She smiled. "I've been traveling so much in the last week… all the way out to Montana and then right back… why not go home for a little while?"

Mike smirked and met her eyes. "How long?"

She shrugged again, chewing. "A few days, maybe. There's not much to do there anyways."

He thought, drinking his orange juice. He wanted to meet her family. To see her where she was the most comfortable. He'd like that… But she would probably say no… She wouldn't want him to be that close, especially not now at least.

And how would he even ask? No… it wasn't the right time to meet her family… he wouldn't ask…

Hannah could see him thinking as he'd grown quiet.

"What's wrong?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't insist that it wasn't safe for her to travel.

He shrugged, smiling. "I'd like to meet your family one day."

She smiled at the thought, surprising him. "That'd be okay, I guess… too bad you work so much."

"Yeah…" he said, thinking, "It'd be good to get away for a while though… I need… to distance myself again… like I'd planned to before my dad…"

Mike looked down, reminded that he had been getting out of all of it… and then Lily Gray killed his dad… The guilt still ate at him.

Hannah could see the change ripple through him. She sighed. She knew he was serious about getting out, about being done…

Knowing he would say no and say that he had to work, she asked anyways, just to show him her support. "Would you want to come with me?"

He looked up, trying to control his grin. "You'd want me to?"

She shrugged, trying not to make it a big deal. "I mean, if you wanted to, but I know you have a lot going on and all… Joe Carroll being alive…"

She'd seen the news broadcast earlier and expected Mike to jump up and rush out the door. He hadn't.

Mike shrugged. "Ryan can deal with all that… I can't let Joe Carroll ruin my life, too… I need distance from it."

Hannah swallowed a gulp of orange juice. "So are you coming with me or not?"

Mike smirked, trying to hide his happiness. "If you'd like me to…"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes or no?"

He smiled. "Yes, I'd like to."

He expected her to panic, to get defensive about the idea of bringing him to her dad and brother.

Instead, she took his plate, rinsed it off, and said "Okay then" with a big smile.

"I'll find a flight for us for later today or tomorrow morning," she said, throwing back the last of her orange juice, casual as if she was reminding herself she needed to buy milk.

Mike grinned. If this was three days ago, she would've told him "Hell no," if this was even last night, she would have said "I don't think it's a good idea." Even though he knew he had a lot of making up to her to do, she was letting him come with her. She was giving him that chance.

She laughed. She could tell this was important to him. She was still a little upset with him… but she wasn't going to show it. She was going to be as cool and calm about it as possible, not show that anything was wrong.

"I'll call my dad but I'm sure he won't mind," Hannah said, picking up her phone from where it lay on the counter. In fact, she knew he wouldn't mind. She knew he'd be thrilled and she was prepared to roll her eyes about it.

"Hey there, kiddo!" Dave answered.

"Hey old man," Hannah replied, already smiling, "What are you doing for the next three days?"

Dave scoffed. "Who, this old fart? Eh just moseying around. Adam brought over some old Chevy he's been working on so I guess I'll help him with that."

"Hmm…" Hannah mused, smiling, "Care if I come for a few days?"

"_Care?" _Dave bellowed, "Baby girl, you know I'll take you any time I can get you! When will you be here?"

She smiled and Mike loved how much she loved her dad. "Sometime today or tomorrow morning. I need to check flights."

"Well, I'll be damned," Dave beamed, "I'll get out all the finest China and call the queen!"

She scoffed, grinning and rolling her eyes. "And Mike's coming, too… that okay?"

Mike held his breath, waiting. Dave didn't know Mike was listening… what if he was leery? What if he wasn't enthused?

"Well, hells bells!" Dave said incredulously, "Isn't it my lucky day? Of course, bring him! The more the merrier!"

Hannah laughed and Mike smiled. "I'll see you soon, then, okay?"

"Alright, chickadee, see ya when I see ya," Dave chimed, hanging up.

Mike was still smiling when Hannah set her phone down. She smiled at his reaction. "Excited?"

He nodded, eyes glimmering. He wished his dad was still around to have that same reaction about meeting Hannah one day… but he wouldn't… He tried to push the thought from his head.

"I'll look up flights," she said, checking the time on the stove clock, "You might want to go pack something. And bring some jeans you can get dirty."

Mike grinned, standing up from his normal spot at her breakfast bar.

"Well, you know," he said coming around the counter to her, eyes glinting, hands sliding under the shirt, "I'll be needing my shirt back for that…"

She cocked her head, smiling. "This shirt?"

He nodded, eyes dark. "Yes… this shirt…"

Hannah shrugged, smirking. "Well, by all means then…"

He grinned devilishly and slipped it over her head and back onto his own. It was still warm from her body heat. He leaned down and kissed her.

"I'll see you in a little bit then," he said, smiling, "You know it'd be easier if I had clothes here…"

She scoffed. "Nice try, but no. Go get packed."

Mike grinned, swatting at her playfully. "Yes, ma'am!"

* * *

She found a red eye flight that left at one in the morning and Mike hadn't objected to it. The next flight leaving would be three in the afternoon the next day, which was too long for her to wait for. Hannah preferred to fly in late and wake up and have the whole day in Missouri.

She was almost giddy about going home.

Mike smiled. He was used to flying with the FBI or driving long hours to get anywhere they wouldn't send him to. He was excited about finally going somewhere he wouldn't be expected to look at bodies, arrest people, or nearly be killed himself.

He tried to put on his "I'm scared of meeting her dad" face as they walked through the airport and to baggage claim. He was more excited than anything. He wanted to meet Dave, to see where Hannah grew up, to find out more about her life and what had made her the way she was.

She stood so independent and strong, but he wanted to see the family that made her that way… to see how she acted with her dad… to see the way she smiled around him.

Hannah was a little nervous grabbing her bag off the conveyor belt. She loved coming home, but she'd never brought anyone back with her before. She wasn't surprised that her dad was elated about it, being that he'd talked to Mike before… but she was a little leery of what Adam would say. She knew he'd give her hell for it.

"So… anything I should be aware of? Things not to say?" Mike asked jokingly, grabbing his bag.

She shook her head. "Not really… My dad's a really easy guy to get along with."

Mike smiled. He was meeting Hannah's dad.

She checked her phone. No missed calls and their plane had landed thirty minutes late. Dave would be waiting on them.

"C'mon, let's move over towards pick up…" she said, looking towards the exit.

Mike followed her, independent and self-directed. It made him smile.

Hannah ran into Dave first.

"Hey there, kid!" he grinned, hugging her, "You're late."

She scoffed. "I called but you didn't answer."

"Yeah, left the damned phone at the house," he said, shrugging, turning to Mike, "Mike, hi!"

"Sir," Mike said with a smile, shaking his hand. He gave a good handshake and smiled politely.

Dave smiled. "Dave, please. The only people who call me Sir are the ones asking me if I want my eggs scrambled or over easy."

Mike laughed. Dave smiled and took his keys out of his coat pocket.

"Alright, we all set? Need to get anything else?" Dave asked Hannah, glancing at their bags.

"Nope, got everything," she said, "We packed light."

Dave grinned proudly. "Atta girl. Alright, well come on then!"

Hannah rolled her eyes, her dad was always over enthused and giddy.

Mike liked it, it was refreshing.

He followed them out to an old Jeep that barely looked like it could keep its wheels on.

"Geez, dad, when are you going to get rid of this old thing?" Hannah scolded jokingly, setting her bag in the back.

Dave scoffed. "This girl is older than you are! Have some respect! Mike, you tell her!"

Hannah shot Mike a look and he grinned. Dave winked at her as he got into the front seat.

Mike let Hannah ride shotgun, content to sit in the back and listen.

They pulled out of the airport and onto the main road, headed to a place with less streetlights.

"So Mike," Dave called, "What kind of work do you do?"

Hannah raised her eyebrows. This should go over real well…. Her dad would freak out if he knew half the danger Mike was in in a daily basis.

Mike sat up, leaning towards the front seats so he could look at Dave while he talked to him, clearing his throat.

"I'm in the FBI, sir," Mike said, trying to sound unofficial and casual about it. Anytime he said it though, he could hear his official tone.

"What'd I say about the sir thing?" Dave scolded, "And you don't say? What kind of things do you do for them, son?"

Mike thought quickly. He'd assumed that just saying "FBI" would be explanation enough.

Hannah's eyes connected with his quickly. She knew that he knew better than to mention Joe Carroll or Lily Gray. Or even Ryan.

"Uh, mostly investigative work on current cases," Mike said, offering a better, but still honest answer.

Hannah glanced back at him, grateful and impressed with some quick thinking. Mike nodded accordingly.

"Hmm," Dave mused, "Are you out in the field much or mostly at a cubicle?"

Mike chuckled. "I'm out in the field a little more than I'd like to be."

Hannah hoped her dad wouldn't ask about that.

"What do you think of it? You like it, though?" Dave asked, turning down a gravel road.

Mike shrugged. "I do… I've had a lot on my plate recently though… I'm looking forward to it slowing down."

Dave nodded, remembering that he'd lost his dad recently, too. "I hear that… well… good thing you came up here… this is a good place to get away from it all for a while."

Mike could see that they were pulling up to a big farmhouse, only one lone light pole outside it. The front porch light was on, waiting for them. There was a barn and fences around the house.

They parked and Mike felt Hannah relaxed, feeling the comfort of home.

"Shit, well I bet you kids are tired," Dave said as they grabbed their bags out of the old Jeep.

Hannah nodded. "I know I am… but Mike doesn't sleep much."

He shot her a look and she blushed. He didn't want her dad to think she knew that much about his sleeping habits.

Dave looked at Mike. "Aw hell, me neither. I'm a down at dusk, up with the sun kind of man. Unless I'm thinking and then there's no getting to sleep for me!"

Mike smiled. Crisis averted.

Hannah followed Dave up the front porch steps, creaking in only the way that good steps do.

Dave flipped on the inside light and Mike smelled the smell of being home. The kind that immerses all your senses and makes you aware of exactly where you are. The kind that good memories were made of.

"Alright well I'm gonna close up the barn and lock up for the night. See ya in the morning, kiddo," Dave said to Hannah, "You know where everything is."

She smiled, setting her bag down to hug him. "I'd hope I do. I only lived here my entire life."

Dave smiled, head over her shoulder. "Yeah well you're away so much that maybe you forget."

Hannah smiled. "Love you, dad."

Dave grinned, hands on her shoulders, stepping back. "Love you, too, sweetpea."

He turned to Mike. "Alright there son, see ya in the morning!"

Mike smiled. "Thank you for letting me come."

Dave chuckled. "Glad to have you."

Mike grinned. He could see where Hannah got her welcoming nature from.

Dave turned and headed towards the back of the house, screen door slamming on the spring.

"C'mon," Hannah said, grabbing her bag, "Bedtime."

She headed up the stairs, easily, knowing each step by heart. Mike looked at the picture frames that lined the wall on the way up. So many pictures of Hannah as a kid and he guessed Adam. He saw younger pictures of Dave and a woman that looked a lot like Hannah. Pictures of the four of them at the lake and dressed up for Halloween.

"So, this is my house," Hannah said, feeling a little silly, "This is the upstairs bathroom… Dad's room is here… this is Adam's old room… and here…."

She kicked open an already ajar door at the end of the hall.

"Is my old room."

She tossed her bag on the floor by the bed and turned to look at him while he took it all in.

Her room looked like it hadn't been touched since she was 18. A modest bed, dresser covered in bracelets and necklaces. The pictures were taped to the mirror and awards and medals hung on the wall. He noticed some for track and lacrosse.

He smirked. He wondered what her life was like at 18, from a small town… about to go to college…

"You alright there?" she asked, noticing him thinking.

He grinned. "Yeah… just cool to see where you grew up."

Hannah shrugged. "It's really not much."

Mike smiled. "Once my brothers and I all moved out of the house, my parents downgraded and got a smaller place. It's nice to still have the place you grew up in."

She could tell he was thinking about his dad, too… about the house they'd lived in before… Memories with his dad.

"Just wait until dad gives you the tour tomorrow… we still have the height marks inside the pantry door," Hannah bragged sarcastically, smiling at him.

Mike smiled. She didn't seem to fit the room anymore. She'd outgrown it. But he could see where part of her still belonged there. Still felt at home in her quiet oasis. He wondered how many nights she locked herself away there so she could be alone.

He looked to her bookshelf, also curious what lined the shelves like the ones at her apartment. Of course, classics, no doubt from a high school English class. A few sci-fi novels, no doubt from a phase, he guessed her freshman year of high school. There were a few knick knacks, clay glazed bowls, no doubt made in an elementary school art class. There were some beads, probably from broken bracelets she couldn't bear to part with.

He noticed next to the clay bowl, a piece of fabric. A patch? He was close enough to reach out and touch it… He picked it up.

It was thicker than most fabrics… Not canvas… tougher… Not as thick as Kevlar….

"It's the seatbelt…" she said, watching him.

His eyes looked over it. This was what had caused her scars… and had saved her life…

"When my dad went to scrap the car, I asked him to cut off part of the seatbelt. He got the gearshift for Adam. I don't know if he kept it," she explained, taking it from him and putting it back on her shelf.

He wondered why she left that at home… and didn't take it with her… maybe she was ready to leave that part of her life behind her when she moved…

She glanced at her watch. "It's 3am… You're probably not tired, but I am…"

He smirked. He wasn't that tired at all, but he knew she was. She'd started drifting off on the flight there.

"Yeah," he said, understanding her need for sleep, "Where are am I staying?"

She looked at him confused. "You're staying here."

Mike frowned. Although he liked sleeping with her, this wasn't her apartment… this was her dad's house… Surely there were certain rules about that…

"Wouldn't your dad prefer if I stayed in your brother's room or something?" he asked, trying to be respectful.

Hannah put her hands on her hips, smirking. "Really? Mike, I haven't lived at home for almost ten years… It's not a big deal. My dad isn't going to chase you off with a pitchfork or anything."

He shrugged. "Still…. I want to be respectful. Him knowing you're an adult and that we're together is different when we're under his roof."

She cocked her head. Mr. Boyscout.

"If that's what you want," she said, not sure why he was thinking this much into it.

He nodded. "You know that I love to sleep with you… but I don't want to get off on the wrong foot with your dad and I want to do this right."

She chuckled. "I suppose… well, Adam's room is across the hall."

Mike turned, taking his bag with him. He meant it when he said he wanted to do this right. He'd messed up already… he was going to be as careful as he could be with her and especially her family.

Adam's room wasn't as stuck in a time warp as Hannah's. Adam still had baseball trophies and old hats on the dresser. It looked a little more lived in than Hannah's old room and Mike realized that he had never asked Hannah where Adam lived. Perhaps Adam lived closer than Hannah and got to visit more, spending more time in his old room.

Mike glanced for the gearshift Hannah said Adam had and he didn't see it out anywhere. He wondered if it was stashed far back in the closet or if Adam had thrown it out years ago.

"If you need anything or get cold in the middle of the night," Hannah offered with a wink, "You know where to find me."

Mike smiled, leaning and kissing her. "Thanks… and thank you for letting me come with you."

She smiled, hands on his chest. "Don't mention it."

He kissed her again. "I love you."

Hannah laughed, pushing him away. "See you in the morning."

He smiled, watching her close the door behind her. He was happy to be there… Life with Hannah was having more depth to it, more sides he hadn't seen before.

Across the hall, when she got into bed, she was asleep before her head hit the pillow. So many times she'd come home from practice and fallen asleep that way. Times barely staying awake to drive home, out too late with Adam and Jason.

Mike laid down, surprised that even with the light off, the room was still bright. Without streetlights, the moon was brighter. He'd never been many places that the sky was that dark and the moon was that bright. He'd always been within 200 feet from a street light.

He smiled. He wondered what it was like growing up there. He wondered if her dad would show him albums of baby pictures, Hannah as a kid with a melted popsicle in her hand. He wondered if Hannah would show him all the places she used to go when she was a teenager. Maybe the place where the accident happened…

He closed his eyes. He'd find out tomorrow.

* * *

So after careful consideration and your input, I've decided to take this in its own direction. I plan to follow the main events/ideas from the show (Joe Carroll coming back/anything MAJOR happening) but I do agree that waiting and recapping each episode as we go along will just go too slow and not allow certain events that you'd like to see (such as Mike meeting Hannah's dad and family).

I try not to include notes like this much. I know each of you have your own kind of relationship with this story and I want it to be about the story rather than me :) I try not to get involved in your zone when you read.

A reviewer did ask some information about me and I suppose I can indulge. They wanted to know my age, grade if I was in school or my career, and my favorite episode of the show.

I'm 24. I teach 1st grade. And EVERY episode is my favorite! There is no way that I can pick out my absolute favorite!


	36. Chapter 36

Mike woke up to the sound of bacon sizzling downstairs. He blinked, forgetting where he was, sunlight flooding the room. He looked around quickly, gathering his bearings…

Oh right… Missouri. Hannah's dad's house. Adam's room.

Mike got up, wondering what time it was. He grabbed his jeans and checked his phone. Luckily, no missed calls and it was 7:15am.

He shrugged on a long sleeve Henley shirt and put on some socks, running a hand through his hair. That would do.

He opened the door to Adam's room carefully, peeking out, wondering if Hannah was up yet. Her door was open. He crept down the hall to see…

He heard her laugh downstairs.

Well that settled that. She was definitely up. And probably eating bacon. He knew she was firm believer in breakfast.

He started down the stairs, wondering if one of them would give away his position, alert them that he was awake and coming downstairs.

"I'm happy to see you, sweetheart, but what about school? Are you on a break?" he heard Dave ask her.

"I took off some time… I get a certain number of days a year and I almost never use them… I figured I might as well," he heard her lie. He wondered if she looked guilty when she lied since she never had a reason to.

He turned the corner, following their voices and found them in the kitchen, Hannah at the farmhouse kitchen table and Dave at the stove, a dishtowel over his shoulder.

"Morning sunshine!" Dave cheered, spatula moving the bacon around in the pan, "How'd you sleep?"

Mike smiled, hand in his hair. "Well, thank you."

Hannah cocked her head towards the empty seats at the table. "Have a seat."

He smiled, warmed to see her, so carefree and happy to be home. He sat down and she got up, pouring him a glass of orange juice. He felt strangely uncomfortable having both Hannah getting him a drink and Dave making breakfast. It felt so homey, he almost didn't like it.

"So what's the plan for today?" Dave asked, dishing up bacon, eggs, and toast, "Eggs, Mike?"

Mike nodded. "Uh, yes, please."

Dave smiled, looking to Hannah who set down Mike's juice and sat down at her seat at the table.

"Probably show Mike around, just hang out," she said, shrugging as Dave set down plates in front of both of them.

Mike's had bacon, eggs, and toast. Hannah's just had bacon and toast on it. He remembered that she didn't like eggs. She frowned.

"Do we have any-"

"Already ahead of you, lovebug," Dave said, setting down a banana in front of her, kissing the top of her head.

She smiled, taking her napkin and putting it in her lap. Mike picked up his fork.

Dave sat his plate down at the other end of the table and cleared his throat.

"Go on, eat up," he ordered, "Before it gets cold."

Mike took a bite of his eggs and Hannah started peeling her banana, smiling that Mike fit in at their table.

"Anything new, Dad?" she asked, mid-bite.

He shrugged, swallowing a bite of toast. "Same old, same old. Just putterin' around the house. I told you Adam brought some old truck over for me to work on. I figure I'll keep working on that today."

Hannah nodded. Adam always brought home different projects.

"Where does Adam live?" Mike asked, hoping he wasn't advertising that Hannah didn't talk too much about her family.

"About forty five minutes away," Dave said, "At least one of my kids still stuck around."

He winked at Hannah and she rolled her eyes.

"Anyways," Dave said, turning back to Mike, "Yeah, Adam isn't too far away. Still comes over every now and then when he wants something fixed."

Mike smiled. He knew father's often gave their sons a hard time. But not Hannah… no… the way Dave looked at her, he absolutely adored her.

And Mike could see that she even brushed off her father's love.

"Maybe he'll come over for dinner," Hannah offered despite knowing that Adam would give her a hard time about bringing Mike home as well as would want to know what happened with Jason.

"He'll be over in a bit," Dave said, "I called him this morning. He was surprised to hear that you were home. He said you hadn't told him."

She set down her fork. "It was kind of a last minute thing…"

Dave studied her carefully. He could tell that she was skirting around something else… but he let it go. He knew it was best not to push her.

"You done?" Dave asked despite noticing their plates were empty, "C'mon, I want you to see this piece of crap Adam brought over."

He stood up, picking up his plate. Hannah stood and took both hers and Mike's plates before he could take it. He smiled. She would never let him do something that she could just get done herself.

She put them in the sink. "Whatever he brought can't be worse than the Jeep."

Dave scoffed. "Oh just wait."

He smiled at Mike and Mike returned it. Dave didn't bombard him with questions, didn't give him the third degree, didn't try to intimidate him or give him the "she's my daughter" speech. He just accepted him and welcomed him in, treated him like he was one of his own.

"C'mon, Mike, wait till you see this piece of junk. I tell you, it's the ugliest thing I've ever set eyes on," Dave said, coaxing them down the front steps of the house.

In the sunlight, Mike could properly take in Hannah's home.

Missouri was more beautiful than he thought. Clear blue sky, rich rolling grasses. Fields on either side. Woods and trees lining the edges.

The farmhouse stood in the middle of the clearing, fences on all sides. Perhaps they'd had livestock as some point… maybe they just used the fields for hay…

The old barn sat across the way, all by itself. Mike wondered how old it was. The farmhouse had been renovated at some point, the inside updated but the barn was original. He could tell it was old by the way the wood was warped from too many seasons of freezing and thawing.

Dave pulled back the big door as it protested, hinges squeaking and wood groaning.

The barn was empty in the middle, a full cleared area. He could see stalls lining the sides, large. Horses?

In the first two stalls, Mike could see toolboxes and work benches, no doubt useful space for Dave.

On the left, Hannah scoffed, noticing a truck parked in the space where a stall had been.

"No way…" she muttered, getting closer to the truck, disbelief sinking in.

Mike followed. Dave stood and smiled.

She ran her hand on it, from the hood to the driver's side door, tracing over the side mirror. It was different… but the same underneath.

She knew exactly what it was… it had been a long time since she'd seen it…

"What…." she couldn't even speak, smiling too wide. Mike desperately wanted to know what she was stunned about.

It was an old truck… but in surprisingly good shape.

Hannah wandered around the back of it, studying the paint job, impressed. And yep… there it was…. _Chevrolet_ in white letters on the back… a dent still on the tailgate.

"I thought about getting that ding out," Dave mused, smiling, "But I figured I'd let it stay…"

Mike looked at Hannah, still smiling, hand running over the tailgate, leaning over to look at the dent.

She looked up at Mike, grinning. "From where I backed into a tree…"

She stood up, eyes still disbelieving. "When did you do this?"

Dave shrugged. "A couple months. Wasn't too difficult. Old girl wasn't actually in that bad of shape, shockingly. Y'all ran her hard and put her up wet."

Hannah smiled. The last time she'd seen that truck, it was covered in mud and the rust was starting to sink in. Now it had been returned to it's former glory. And was absolutely gorgeous.

"What do you think, Mike?" Dave asked proudly.

Mike glanced in the interior. He'd even restored that with white leather seats.

"Very nice. It looks amazing," he said, only seeing cars like that at shows downtown, not expecting something like this in an old barn in Missouri.

Hannah opened the door and got in, flipping the visor down, something falling into her lap.

She laughed. "Seriously?"

Mike looked over to see. She held up an old card, Ace of diamonds.

Dave shrugged, chuckling. "Best not mess with a good thing!"

Hannah looked over to Mike, returning the card to its spot. "The Ace of diamonds was Jason's good luck piece. This is his truck."

Mike's eyes widened. He hadn't planned on hearing about Jason again for a while. He was interested in the way Hannah looked at the truck, wide eyed and grinning. He'd never seen that look from her before. She'd always held things in such tight control, never letting on too much. But she was almost bouncing.

She got out and went over to Dave. "Did Jason ask you to do this?"

He shook his head. "Nah… Jason left it with Adam when he got deployed the first time and never asked for it back. She sat in the garage for years until Adam finally decided he wanted to work on her. We've been spending every Saturday on her for a while."

"Very impressive," she gave him, smiling.

Dave beamed proudly. Mike smiled. He hadn't seen a look like that from his dad in a long time…

"Well," Dave said, clapping his hands together, "Just wanted to show you the old girl. Go on ahead and get out of here."

Hannah smiled, leaning in and hugging him. "Yes, sir."

Dave knocked her gently on the shoulder, pushing her off towards the front of the barn.

Mike followed her but her hand came down and slipped into his. He almost apologized for bumping his hand into hers before he realized she'd done it on purpose. He'd never held her hand before and figured that it wouldn't be something she'd accept welcomingly.

He grinned. She'd done it on purpose.

She walked with her hand in his out to the Jeep, Dave heading towards the house.

Hannah got to the driver's side and went to open the door, pulling her hand from his. He held on and pulled her back, catching her unexpectedly.

He pulled her closer to him and kissed her, smiling, tucking her wind blown hair behind her ear.

He wondered what had made her so unusually affectionate but he didn't question it. He didn't want to call attention to it and make her stop.

"I'd let you drive but you don't know where you're going," she said, smiling.

Mike smiled, nodding, reaching around and opening the door for her. She rolled her eyes, getting in.

"Boy Scout, remember?" he said, teasing.

He got in on the other side and she pulled the keys down from the visor, turning over the engine.

She backed it up and headed out towards the main road, which really wasn't all that main to begin it. It was just the only road in sight.

Hannah rolled down the windows and let her arm hang out the window, smiling in the sunshine.

Mike smiled. "Happy to be home?"

She nodded. "Happy you came?"

He grinned. "Very. I like your dad."

Hannah laughed. "Everyone likes my dad. He's Major McCheese around here."

"So what're you going to show me?" he asked, enjoying his time with her. He'd never been shown around anyone's hometown before.

"Well," she started, eyes glancing to his, "There's not much to see in town, but I figure I'll show you all the usual places. You know, that one part of the sidewalk where I fell and skinned my knee… The place where I lost my favorite bracelet."

She was being sarcastic and he reached over and knocked her on the shoulder.

"I'm telling you," she said getting serious, "There is nothing to do in this town."

He smiled.

True to her word, she showed him all the usual places. The only movie theater. The only drugstore. The only bookstore. Her old high school. The Dairy Curl where the cool kids hung out after partying all night.

And that was it, she announced. That was the entire town.

She pulled down a road at the end of the town, towards a field, she pulled off on the soft shoulder, a truck waving to her as they went by.

"And this," she said, putting the truck in park, "Is where Jason and Adam taught me how to drive. You'll notice no trees or ditches. Or other cars. The figured it was best if the only thing I could hit was a cow."

Mike smiled. "Then what happened with the tree you backed into?"

She frowned, frazzled, huffing. "That tree came out of nowhere. And that was coming home from the woods when Jason and Adam were too drunk to drive."

"The woods?" Mike asked skeptically.

She rolled her eyes, putting the Jeep back in gear. "When you have nothing to do in a small town, you go out to the woods and drink."

Mike laughed. It was hard to think about her as a teenager, sneaking off to the woods to get drunk with her brother and their friend.

She drove away from the field, back towards town, taking another road, a bigger one, up a hill.

"Where are we going now?" he asked, curious.

She looked at him and smiled. "The lake."

The lake wasn't too far away and was quite big. There were docks and sand. The perfect place to escape a hot, summer day.

"We used to spend whole summers here," she said, parking again, "My mom taught us how to swim here."

Mike sat up, carefully broaching the next subject. "You really don't remember her much?"

Hannah shrugged, looking a little guilty. "I remember her more here… it's hard to recall memories… but I do remember her when I'm home… my dad reminds me a lot of her."

Mike leaned against the door, elbow on the open window, head resting against his hand.

"I hope I don't forget my dad…" he said, missing him.

Hannah swallowed. She knew she wasn't good at grief… she knew she might say the wrong thing. Shit. Had it been wrong to bring him back to her dad's house with her?

She turned more towards him, leaning her back against the door, not caring that the arm rest stuck in to her back.

"You won't…" she said, trying to sound comforting, "I'm sure you have a lot of wonderful memories."

He smirked. He did have a lot of wonderful memories… but sadly… he wouldn't be able to make anymore with his dad…

Hannah could see him thinking and fighting the depression. She felt a knot in her stomach when she remembered that Max was better at talking to him about this than she was.

She considered offering to call Max so he could talk to her… no… that would start a fight…

She sighed, reaching over and taking his hand in hers. "You know I'm here…"

He smiled, looking over at her. He knew that she wasn't good at this… but she was trying… Even after all that he'd messed up and could've lost. She was trying.

He leaned over and kissed her. "I know… I love you."

There was a glimmer in her eye and for a brief second, he thought she was going to say it, too…

She hesitated but then leaned in and kissed him again.

"Keep the tour going?" she suggested and he nodded, along for the ride. For once, it felt nice to relax and not be chasing people down.

"Do you ever think about moving back?" he asked as she pulled back onto the highway.

She shrugged. "I've thought about it. I mean, maybe not home home, but Missouri… yeah sometimes… be closer to Dad… but I'm pretty happy where I am."

Mike reached over and put his hand on her knee. "I'm happy where you are, too."

She smiled. He was the first guy she'd ever brought home and it didn't scare the absolute daylights out of her.

"So no," she said smiling, "I'm staying where we are."

He grinned, trying to look away to not freak her out. _Where we are._ She thought about them together, too. Being together… having a life together…

"I would, however, like to have a house of my own though… not be in apartments forever… maybe a smaller city than in New York… but eventually," she said, considering a little house with a porch, close to sidewalks and jogging groups.

Mike wondered if they'd ever live together… really live together… not have their own places and but stay at one every night… kind of like they did now… but honest to goodness living together…

Hell… She didn't even want to commit to a relationship title… and she wouldn't admit that she loved him… living together would be a big hurdle one day.

The Jeep pulled to a stop on the side of the road before and Mike looked over at her.

"This is where the accident happened," she said calmly, pointing to a spot about a hundred feet from them, beyond a road that intersected with the one they were on.

"So… the guy came off this street here," she pointed, "He didn't stop at the sign… He was drinking."

She moved the Jeep farther down. "This is where Adam swerved to miss him and we started to flip."

Hannah pointed at a tree on the right. "That's where the other guy ended up. He hit that tree right there. Only broke his wrist."

She drove a sickeningly slow way down the road, gut wrenchingly far. Mike's stomach started to churn, imaging her in a flipping car. She looked at the guardrail in the median. "This is where we finally stopped."

She kept driving, one hand casually on the wheel, the other out the window, not at all phased by driving past the place where she and Adam could have died.

"Have you always been this relaxed driving past this spot?" he asked incredulously.

She shrugged. "Yeah… It was a freak thing… And I don't remember most of it… It's like… You watch a scary movie at a theater… but that doesn't mean you're going to be scared everytime you go there, ya know?"

He looked out the window. Driving by that spot gave him goosebumps. The possibility of worse things happening to Hannah running through his head.

"I don't know how you can be so casual about so many things," Mike said, still unable to grasp how lightly she treated everything.

She shrugged, used to being told those kinds of things. Used to people finally having enough of her blasé attitude and not seeming like she cared about a lot of things. She did care… but she wouldn't admit it.

"Not many things bother me," she said, trying to make it not sound like she was a sociopathic monster, "And if something upsets me… I don't want to seem weak and admit it. You know that."

Mike smirked. He knew that well. "And what about if something makes you happy? You still don't like to admit it."

She glanced over at him. She knew he was talking about their relationship… what they had… the fact that he loved her and she wouldn't say it back… though he'd say he already knew…

"I'm working on it," she smiled and he trusted it. He knew she was making progress.

She reached over and put her hand in his, trying to show him that she wasn't a lost cause just yet.

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, eyes out the window, wondering if that would be too much and she'd pull her hand back and tell him to knock it off.

She smiled and she let him return her hand to his lap, squeezing it.

Hannah pulled down the road to her dad's house smiling. She was very happy that Mike had come. Admitting that to herself was the first step. Maybe at some point soon, she could admit that she cared for him. Maybe… even more than that…

Mike noticed a car parked next to the barn that hadn't been there when they left. He looked over at Hannah.

"Looks like Adam's here," he said, watching her smile.

Hannah turned to him, smiling. "Welcome to my big, happy family."


	37. Chapter 37

The first thing Mike noticed about Adam was the scar on his cheek. The one that looked a lot like Hannah's… a different shade of red… but a lot alike.

The second thing he noticed was how much Adam looked like Dave and Hannah. All brown hair, blue eyes, the same sparkle when they smiled.

"What's up, Mike!" Adam said, shaking his hand as Mike stepped up onto the porch.

Mike smiled. "Nice to meet you, Adam."

"Likewise," Adam said, turning his attention to Hannah, "You… yeah you and I have some talking to do."

Hannah blushed. "I uh… don't know what you mean…"

Adam shot her a chastising look like she certainly did know what he meant… Oh the many things… that she brought Mike home… that she called about Jason and what ever happened with that? What was the deal with Mike? Oh the possibilities were endless… and she really didn't want to hear any of it.

Dave called from the kitchen. "C'mon, get in here, supper's ready!"

Hannah looked like she was relieved. She hadn't been worried about Mike meeting Adam but she knew she'd get the third degree from him. She knew he worried about her… and she never told him what happened after the Jason phone call… he'd want to know…

They sat down at the table and Mike still looked awkward and slightly uncomfortable. Hannah reached under the table and put her hand on his knee.

"Alright?" she asked quietly as Dave and Adam put the rest of the food on the table.

Mike nodded. "Yeah…"

Then he smiled but she couldn't tell if it was forced or not. She knew family dinners had to be awkward for him, especially with her family.

Adam sat down, placing the salad bowl in the middle of the table.

"Alright kids, now I know I don't do this often… but I feel like I need to…" Dave said, sitting down.

"Dad," Hannah said quietly, looking at him with softness in her eyes.

Dave laughed. "Oh come on… you know I'm a big ball of love, I can't help it! I get all of you home and… I just have to!"

She smiled, sighing. She held one hand out to Adam and the other to Mike. They both took her hand and extended theirs out to Dave, who looked like he was about to burst with happiness.

"Dear Lord, thank you for everything you've provided for us. I thank you in all of your grace for bringing us all together and including Mike. Thank you for all the love and happiness you've bestowed on us and have allowed us to share with others."

Hannah squeezed Mike's hand and he looked at her sideways, smiling.

She looked back up at Dave and he was smiling at her, waiting.

They didn't say grace often, but when they did, Dave insisted that they all say a piece of it, each have something to be thankful for.

"Uh…" she started, feeling awkward that Mike was there to witness their family tradition, "Thank you, Lord, for a wonderful time to see my family and um… thank you for keeping everyone healthy, happy, and truly blessed."

Mike smiled at her and she blushed.

"Okay, my turn," Adam said, getting serious, "Thank you, God, for always keeping us together. We've had some hard times but thank you for always keeping my dad and my sister close by when I need them. We are truly blessed."

Adam looked up at Mike, waiting for him to add. Hannah opened her mouth to protest, he didn't have to. She didn't want him to feel put on the spot. She didn't even know if he was religious.

"No, it's okay," Mike said, clearing his throat, "Thank you… God… um… thank you for everything… It's been rough… but… I know there's a reason… thank you for bringing Hannah into my life and thank you for showing me such a wonderful family… I know I'm truly blessed."

Hannah squeezed his hand, smiling. What she and Adam said rang true to him. He was truly blessed.

"Amen," Dave beamed from the end of the table, proud as could be.

Hannah smiled at him. "Dad, stop getting emotional."

Dave grinned, dropping everyone's hands. "I can't help it! You know I'm just so full of love!"

Adam rolled his eyes and Mike smiled. Adam and Hannah may be annoyed by it, but he liked it. Dave reminded him a lot of his own dad.

"Alright, fine then!" Dave scolded, still grinning, "Eat up!"

They started passing bowls. Salad, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, barbeque chicken, and fresh baked bread.

"So, Mike," Adam started, "My dad said you're in the FBI, huh?"

Mike was handed the corn, spooning some onto his plate. "Yeah, a few years now."

"Really?" Adam said, glancing at Hannah, "That isn't dangerous, is it?"

Mike watched her reaction out of the corner of his eye. She didn't react. "Not overly… it has its days."

"Hmm," Adam mused, passing her the green beans, "How'd you two meet, again?"

Hannah took that one. "He lives downstairs. He helped me move in."

"Ahh," Adam said, piecing it together, "I remember some guy helping you. Guess he wasn't as sketchy as he sounded."

"Adam, stop it!" Hannah ordered, putting mashed potatoes on her plate.

"What?" Adam defended, "When your baby sister moves to New York and some guy offers to help her move in, you have to warn her to be careful if he wants to make your skin into a suit!"

Mike snickered.

"Adam!" Dave said flabbergasted, "That's appalling!"

"Seriously?" Adam continued, "Does no one watch the news anymore? People are scary! Guys find nice girls moving in by themselves and make their skin into suits! Google it!"

Hannah laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Really?" Adam banged his fork on the table, "Mike, come on, in the FBI you've gotta seen some weird people! Take that one wacko, Joe Carroll… you could've bumped into him or one of his freaky deaky people and bam, SKIN SUIT!"

Mike still smiled despite the Joe Carroll reference. If only Adam knew that Carroll was much worse than that.

"I don't think Hannah has much to worry about," Mike said, swallowing a bite of chicken, "Our building is very safe. One of the reasons I moved into it myself."

Adam, however, seemed unconvinced, still mad that no one believed him about the skin suits.

"BUFFALO BILL!" Adam blurted, sending bits of corn across the table, "Silence of the Lambs? It puts the lotion on its skin? COME ON, PEOPLE! SKIN SUITS!"

Hannah snorted and Mike laughed at it.

"Adam, stop it," Dave chastised, "Stop telling Hannah she'll be someone's skin suit!"

He sounded like they were five years old and Adam was telling her ghost stories again.

"I'm telling you," Adam said, angrily chewing his chicken, "One day you're going to call me and yell that we've got to get Hannah home because some wacko is making skin suits out of girls in New York!"

Dave rolled his eyes. "Anyways, besides the skin suits, anything at work?"

Adam wrinkled his nose, not willing to let go of his topic. "Same old, same old…"

"What do you do?" Mike asked, not meeting Hannah's look. She was happy that he was involving himself in conversation.

"He's a firefighter paramedic," Hannah said, bragging for him because she knew he wouldn't do it by himself.

"Wow," Mike said, genuinely impressed, "That's awesome. I couldn't do a job like that."

Adam smiled, proud. "It's a lot of work. Lot of hours on the job."

Adam glanced sideways to Hannah. "Lots of getting puked on."

She shuddered. She knew that too well.

"What made you want to get into that?" Mike asked, curious.

Dave cleared his throat, like the question hadn't been asked.

Adam ignored it. "The accident. I'm sure Hannah told you about it? The one when we were teenagers? Well… after that, I knew I wanted to be in some kind of emergency service. I mean… Hannah and I don't remember much about the accident and after it… we just woke up in the hospital… and to think… all those people that took care of us while we were completely out of it… unable to even help ourselves… that's a great service… You know… help people… help their families and people they love…"

Mike nodded, completely agreeing with that. "Absolutely."

"And knowing what I know… I feel much safer for me and everyone around me… and like Hannah… I worry about her but if something ever happened to her, it makes me feel better knowing that who ever was first on the scene, knows things that I know and that she'll be okay," he said, glancing over at her.

Hannah shook her head, smiling. Adam worried too much.

Mike smiled. Hannah had such a good family. He wished his was as close as hers…

"What about you, Mike?" Adam asked, "Why the FBI?"

Mike smirked. He was asked that question a lot… but still hadn't perfected the unrehearsed answer.

"My dad was a Marine and after that, he was a cop. All my brothers were cops… it started out as a way to outrank them, you know, show them that their little brother could amount to something… but then I realized I really liked it. I studied behavioral science at Wesleyan and doing my dissertation about Joe Carroll it made me realize I didn't want people like that out on the street and that I could do something about it," Mike said, trying to sound as humble as possible.

Hannah smiled at him. She didn't even know that story of how he started in the FBI.

Adam nodded, impressed. "Very cool. You like it?"

Mike nodded despite absolutely hating everything that was Joe Carroll and the case. He'd wanted out and he meant it. "I do… some cases are harder than others, though."

Adam agreed, some calls were more difficult for him. "I hear ya… I bet the hours are bad, too, huh?"

Mike glanced at Hannah, smirking. "Not as good as I'd like."

Adam saw it and smiled.

"Did I ever mention how lucky I am?" Dave said, beaming from the end of the table.

Adam and Hannah rolled their eyes. Mike smiled.

"No, I mean it!" Dave insisted, "God love ya… you two have made me so proud… and Mike… man… you're right there up with them. You three are something else."

"Thank you," Mike said, blushing. All this love was so much… he knew how hard it was for Hannah to soak in it all.

"Luckiest man alive, here," Dave grinned, eyes glassy.

Adam laughed, shaking his head. He was used to all this by now. He knew it was harder for Hannah to hear it.

"Red Door?" Adam said to her, grinning mischievously.

She lit up. "Absolutely."

She looked to Dave, almost as if for permission. "Y'all better go… I'm feeling contagious and you getter get out of here before I start hugging everyone!"

Hannah snorted again and Mike laughed.

She looked over at him. "Red Door?"

"Uh…" he said, unsure, still smiling, "Sure?"

Hannah grinned.

"Good choice," Adam approved, "Let's go!"

Red Door was apparently short for the Red Door Tavern at the end of town. It, indeed, had a red door true to its name. It wasn't as hole in the wall-ish as Mike had guessed for being a small town.

Out back, it had a big porch with lights and live music. The doors were open and pulled back so that the whole place heard the music and felt the cool air.

Adam ordered them beers at the bar and Hannah excused herself to the bathroom.

"So," Adam said quickly, taking his beer as it was served, "Hannah's going to lie to me, so I'd better ask you. What's the deal with her calling Jason?"

Mike stiffened. He knew Hannah wouldn't want to tell him… he'd just get worried… but… there was no sense lying to her brother… especially since he didn't want to get off on the wrong foot…

"Well… the case I'm working on… the person I'm after went after my dad… and they killed him…" he said, trying to stay unemotional, not meeting Adam's eyes, "I needed Hannah somewhere safe."

Adam whistled. "Shit… I'm sorry, man… hell… well… yeah… that would've been the best place…. But it's okay now?"

Mike nodded. They hadn't heard anything about Lily Gray lately… "For now…"

He met Adam's eyes but didn't see any anger or worry for his sister. Instead, he saw gratitude.

"And," Adam said, lightening the topic up, "You're not sleeping with her, right?"

Mike almost choked on his beer.

Adam laughed. "I'm messing with ya! I'm sorry!"

Mike got red.

"Nah, you're alright, man," Adam said, taking a swig of his beer, "Not many guys can handle Hannah, you know?"

Mike nodded. He did know. "A lot of ex boyfriends?"

Adam shook his head. "Not one… Hannah's never had a boyfriend… well… not one that she's admitted to… She doesn't like to commit to titles or anything. Never has. You're the first guy she's ever brought home."

Mike raised his eyebrows. He would've thought Hannah would have had boyfriends before… he thought she just resisted that title with him because of his job.

Hannah returned from the bathroom, smiling as Adam handed her her beer.

"Thank you, sir," she said, grinning, gulping down a big swig, knowing she'd have to catch up.

"So," Adam said, leaning against the bar, "Mike didn't know he's your first boyfriend."

She paled, mouth dropping open, speechless. She didn't want to say that he wasn't her boyfriend and embarrass him or upset him.

"I…."

Adam laughed. "Ahh look at her face! Chill… He knows you don't like titles."

Hannah remained red. "You're such a dick."

He wiggled his beer in front of her face. "You love it!"

She rolled her eyes.

"Oooh," Adam sang, spotting a blonde in the corner shooting pool, grabbing another round off the bar, "Is that Kelly Morgan? I need to come home more often… I'll be right back…"

He sauntered away, towards Kelly Morgan, happy and confident.

Hannah turned back to Mike, who finished his beer amused.

"What did he say?" she ordered, a smile over her face.

Mike shrugged, picking up a new beer that had appeared in front of him. Service was fast. "I wasn't even listening."

She punched him playfully in the shoulder, putting her empty beer bottle on the bar. "Well clearly he said something."

Mike stood up, lowering his beer, handing her a new one, too. "He said you've never had a boyfriend."

Hannah squared her shoulders annoyingly, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I've… I'll have you know that I've been with plenty of guys… I mean… that I've… shit…"

He laughed.

"That all sounds horrible," she said, blushing and laughing, "You know me! You know I don't like committing to anything."

Mike smirked. "I thought you just didn't like committing to me."

She sipped her beer. "No, not just you."

He put his hand over his heart like he was wounded. "Ouch. I'm not the only one then."

"Shut up!" she squealed, hand along his jawline, "You've gotten more commitment out of me than anyone has. I brought you home for God's sake!"

Mike smiled. "One small step for mankind!"

She rolled her eyes. "So what, you want to be my _boyfriend_?"

She teased that last word, throwing back the rest of her second beer.

Mike lowered his from his lips, his eyes on her, growing dark.

She felt the silence answer for him.

"Maybe not in those exact words…" he said, taking a casual swig, "But yes."

If Hannah hadn't been drinking, she would've had something clever to say… but she didn't.

He winked at her and took another drink. She blushed.

"So Kelly Morgan," Adam said, coming up beside them, "Apparently her ass is a lot bigger up close."

Hannah snorted and Mike laughed.

"Seriously… it's huge," he said, grabbing another beer, "I mean… I wouldn't even know what to do with it!"

Hannah snickered and Mike shook his head.

"So Mike," Adam said loudly, putting his arm around Mike's shoulders, "We already know about dear little Hannah, but what about you? Ex wife? Kids? Psycho ex girlfriend?"

Hannah sipped her beer, also curious about the answer. Mike smiled.

"Nope… none of the above," he said, actually proud of it.

"Squeaky clean, then," Adam said, starting to slur a little, "Geez, Hannah, where'd you find this guy, huh? FBI and not a single black mark on him! You better marry him before someone else swoops him up!"

Hannah's eyes bulged. She would've kicked him if it wouldn't have been obvious. Mike smiled. Adam knew how to push Hannah's buttons.

"Damn… Kelly Morgan… see? Her ass doesn't look this bad from far away!" Adam said, distracted again, "Okay… I'm going to do a drive-by… maybe see if she has a smaller assed friend…"

He staggered off in her directions and Hannah was completely red.

"I swear he's not usually this bad," she said, trying to calm herself down.

"He's not bad at all," Mike said, smiling. He actually really liked Adam. "But really now… what's so bad about me?"

"Hmm?" Hannah asked, looking off into the crowd.

Mike tapped his beer on her shoulder, getting her attention. "What's so bad about me?"

She looked up at him, tipsy and smiling, a full beer waiting for her on the bar.

Their eyes locked.

"Why won't you admit to being with me?" he asked, smirking, the alcohol making him more bold. He would have never pushed this if they weren't drinking. He was feeling more brazen… she was feeling loose enough to answer. She knew what he wanted… but she wasn't sure…

"Why do I need to?" she asked, teasingly, eyes on his.

He shrugged, sipping away his fourth beer. "You don't need to."

She rolled her eyes, pressing herself up against him, eyes on his. "You know I already am."

He smiled, leaning down and kissing her. He wouldn't push it.

"Heyyyyy, look who I found!" Adam shouter, pulling with him a tall guy with dark black hair.

Hannah looked and groaned. "Oh god… uh… Hi, Pete!"

"Hey Hannah," Pete grinned, clearly intoxicated.

Adam beamed, proud of himself.

Mike felt uncomfortable. "Uh… hi, I'm-"

Hannah interrupted him, taking a deep breath. "Pete, this is my boyfriend, Mike."

Mike grinned, unable to control himself. Hannah smiled at him dutifully. He'd done enough to make things work with her, she could do a little bit, too.

Pete smiled, "What's up, man?"

"HOLY SHIT IT WORKED!" Adam bellowed, pushing Pete away, "HELL YEAH!"

Mike was already grinning.

Adam high fived him too hard. "YES YES YES!"

Hannah frowned, Mike would have too, but he was too happy.

"What worked?" Mike asked, grinning.

"So, that guy Pete, he used to date Hannah or well, dated but didn't really date, I mean, they were together but they weren't together, I mean, he was her boyfriend but wasn't her boyfriend," Adam slurred, "Anyways, I figured if I brought him over, Hannah would _have_ to introduce you as her boyfriend to him! And sweet baby Jesus it worked!" 

Mike beamed. Hannah rolled her eyes. She would've gotten to it eventually, but Adam had provided a good set up.

"Oh don't be mad," Adam grinned, putting his arms around Hannah, "You love this man, don't lie. I mean, how could you not, look how devastatingly handsome he is? I mean, not compared to me, but hey, you can't date your brother, so he's a close second!"

Hannah snorted, pushing drunk Adam off her, smiling. Mike smiled. He decided he definitely liked Adam.

Someone called Adam's name and he staggered back into the crowd, Mike still grinning.

"Didn't I tell you to stop looking at me like that?" Hannah asked, drinking down another beer.

Mike smiled. "Maybe… I forgot…"

She smiled. She was glad to make him happy.

He set down his beer and perched on the barstool behind him, putting his arms around her waist, drawing him close to him, his knees on either side of her.

"You've made me a very happy man, you know that?" he beamed.

She smiled, arms around his neck. "I'm glad. You make me very happy, too."

Mike kissed her. "I love you. Don't freak out about this when you sober up."

Hannah smiled. "I'll try not to. No promises."

He kissed her again. "Good enough for me."


	38. Chapter 38

Mike woke up, his head spinning a little bit.

He looked next to him and Hannah was snuggled against his side, fully clothed and completely asleep.

He smiled, thinking back to the night before at the bar… She'd been drinking and he finally pushed the issue of them actually being together.

Actually, Adam had made it happen. Mike grinned at that. He really liked Adam.

He forgot why she was still fully dressed in jeans and a long sleeve shirt… but then he remembered the state they were in when they got home that night.

_"Shhh!" Adam snickered behind them as they crept through their childhood home._

_Hannah was laughing, drunk and staggering up the stairs, Mike grabbing the bannister for balance._

_"Skip this one," she whispered to Mike, hopping over a loose stair._

_He stumbled, making her laugh and grab his hand, pulling him up. He grinned, hands around her waist, making her lose her balance and brace herself again the wall, grinning._

_They staggered up the stairs, an odd trio. Mike loved it. He had so much fun with them._

_On the landing, Adam leaned against the door to his room. _

_"Peace out, cub scouts," he slurred, a boyish grin on his face._

_Hannah pulled away from Mike and towards Adam, throwing her arms around him._

_"Night, Adam," she said, feeling the comfort of her own home, her own family, "I love you."_

_Still drunk, Mike smiled. He wasn't jealous that she said that to her brother. In fact, it made him happy that she did say it to someone at all... She was capable of it. She knew what it was like._

"_I love you, too, banana," Adam slurred._

_For that, Mike was a little jealous. He wished his family was as close… even though he had his brother Seth… he still hated Eddie and Andrew… and they had never been close to begin with…_

"_Be good to my man," Adam crooned, wiggling his eyebrows at Mike and Hannah. She giggled and turned red, pulling Mike into her room with her._

_She closed the door behind him and pushed him up against the door, kissing him heavily._

"_I feel like this is breaking the rules," Mike teased, feeling like he was back in high_

_school._

_Hannah bit her lip, smirking. "That's the best part, isn't it?"_

_Mike smiled. He never saw her this easy going and silly. She kept things tightly under control. He was surprised to see her let go a little._

"_I know what you're thinking…" she said, rolling her eyes but still smiling._

"_Oh?" Mike said, still in a very happy mood, "What's that?"_

"_You're thinking… 'Wow, Hannah may have drank too much!'" she giggled, not caring if he judged her._

_He shook his head, smirking. "No, not at all. I'm actually thinking that Hannah may have drank the right amount."_

"_Oh?" Hannah asked sweetly, "Planning on taking advantage of me?"_

_Mike chuckled. "You know I'm a good boy scout."_

_She rolled her eyes. "Always."_

"_Someone has to be," Mike teased._

"_Well, I don't always drink like this," she said, trying to sound serious, which in turn, actually made her sound more adorable to him._

"_I know," Mike grinned, "I've drank with you on a few occasions."_

"_I have such a good time with Adam," she said, smiling, "And you, too."_

"_I'm glad," Mike said, happy that she enjoyed his company and being with him, "I'm glad I can be a good boyfriend."_

_She rolled her eyes, the alcohol still numbing her emotional response to panic. "It's going to take me a while to get used to that."_

_Mike grinned. "That's okay… I'm fully prepared to wait."_

_She cocked her head seriously at him, eyes trying hard to focus. "That was really a big deal to you, huh?"_

_Mike nodded, the alcohol fading away softly, " Yeah… it was…"_

"_Hmm…" she mused, thinking, "And you're happy now?"_

_He nodded again, hands going to her waist. "Very."_

_She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Fine… well I guess I'm happy if you're happy."_

_Mike nuzzled her nose with his. "See? A perfect couple."_

_She scoffed, smiling, pushing him away. He wouldn't let her go, nuzzle her face, her neck, under her ear until she squealed. _

"_Stop it!" she shrieked, "I get it!"_

"_Get what?" he teased, nibbling her neck despite her protests._

"_That you want us to be a couple and be happy together," she said, the thumping in her chest masked by the tickling at her neck._

"_Exactly," he murmured against her skin, "That's exactly it."_

_He waited a beat for her to panic about it. About the label… about being together… But she didn't._

_He wondered if it was the alcohol or if she was just getting used to it. At this point, however, he really didn't care. _

Mike smiled, looking down at her. One day she'd get used to it. Hell, maybe one day she'd even admit that she loved him, too.

He chuckled. He wouldn't hold his breath. It was okay that she didn't say it… for now… he knew how she felt, even if she tried to deny it.

She groaned next to him, covering her eyes.

"What time is it?" she croaked.

He smiled, kissing her on the forehead. "No idea."

Hannah made a noise of contentment and snuggled closer to Mike, relishing his warmth.

"I think you're the first guy to sleep in this bed with me," she said, eyes still closed.

Mike smiled. "Apparently I'm a lot of firsts for you…"

She blushed, remembering that Adam had told Mike that he was her first boyfriend- to which she wanted to deny that he was… but then she'd said it. Mike Weston was her boyfriend.

She wanted to groan and pretend like she hadn't said it… but she knew Mike would be disappointed if she did.

"So what are we doing today?" Mike asked as Hannah started to peel herself from his arms and her warm bed.

He knew she may still be resisting the title that happened the night before so he let her. He knew that the second he pushed harder than she allowed, it wouldn't be good. He didn't want to push her too far to the point that she backed out completely.

Hannah shrugged. "I mean, you've pretty much seen everything there is in this town."

Mike smiled as she stretched, still feeling stiff from sleeping in full clothes.

"No more family members to meet?" Mike asked, curious about learning more, putting his hands behind his head.

She shook her head, finger combing her messy hair. "Nope."

"They don't live here?" Mike asked, searching for more information.

Hannah chuckled. "They don't live period. There isn't anyone else."

Mike cocked his head. "No one?"

She shook her head, checking her complexion in the mirror. "Both sets of grandparents are dead. My parents were only children. Adam and my dad are the only family I have."

Mike frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that…"

She shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

He sighed, sitting up. If it was a big deal, she wouldn't say so anyways. He didn't know what it was like to have a small family… did she feel lonely? Did she feel abandoned after her mom died? Did she worry more about her dad and Adam because they were all she had left?

She smiled, turning to Mike, trying to lighten the mood. "Adam and my dad are really all I've ever known for having a family. It's not like I know what a big family is like and that I don't have it. I don't know what I'm missing out on. I'm okay only having them."

Mike nodded. "Big families are hard…"

Hannah smiled, coming to sit next to him on her bed. "Big family?"

He nodded. "Very big. Three brothers. Parents still together. Both sets of grandparents live within two hours. Six uncles total, 8 aunts. More cousins and second cousins than I can count."

Hannah's eyes widened. "So you have that crazy Thanksgiving table that they show on commercials where everyone is fighting over the last roll but mom rushes in to save the day and everyone laughs about it?"

Mike chuckled. "Something like that. In pictures, yes. It's a lot more complicated than that in real life."

"Hmm…" Hannah mused, "I don't know if I'd ever want a big family like that… sure… plenty of people to talk to… always someone to lean on… but I don't know if I could handle chaos of all that."

Mike smiled. "Seriously. Holidays as a kid were fun, always a bunch of presents, but as an adult… it's a pain in the ass. Too many people to cater to and call on their birthdays."

Hannah nodded. "That would get to be a little much."

He laughed. "Tell me about it… when I have a family of my own, I think I'd like to keep it small."

He glanced at her and she didn't catch it.

"Best way to do it," she said, "Adam, my dad, and I are really close. And I like it that way. Small families are the way to go."

Mike smiled. "My brothers disagree. Eddie already has four kids and Andrew's on his third. Seth hasn't gotten married yet but I don't think he wants many kids. That's probably another reason why I like him better than the others."

She smiled. "You don't like Eddie or Andrew?"

Mike scoffed. "Not at all. I wouldn't ever talk to them again if I didn't have to. Seth feels the same way."

Hannah smirked. "What does your mom say?"

"That we need to get over it and still be family," he said, exasperated.

She smiled, leaning into him. "Guess you won't be taking me home to meet the folks anytime soon, huh?"

He smiled. "Trust me, it's better this way. Meeting your family is not at all the same as meeting my family. You're going to need to train like it's a marathon."

Hannah rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

He shot her a look. "You can see for yourself one day."

She smiled, brushing her hair off her shoulder. "You plan on keeping me around that long?"

Mike grinned, hand sliding around her neck and kissing her. "I plan on keeping you as long as you'll let me."

Hannah smiled. "Well, come on, then. Showers and then wake up Adam to see if he wants to come with us."

"Come with us where?" Mike asked as Hannah pulled him to his feet.

"You'll see," Hannah teased, "And wear those dirty jeans I told you to bring."


	39. Chapter 39

"Ok fine, let's go," Adam grumbled, pulling a sweatshirt over his head.

Hannah looked up from her orange juice, amused.

Adam was definitely hung over. His hair was messy and his eyes were still bloodshot. He looked exhausted.

"You don't have to come," Hannah offered as Mike finished his eggs.

"Meh," Adam grumbled, getting the juice out of the fridge.

Hannah shrugged at Mike and he smiled. He could tell that Adam wasn't in the best of moods. A night of too much drinking for him.

Adam chugged a glass of juice and set the glass down loudly. "You ready?"

Hannah grinned and nodded. She looked to Mike, who still hadn't questioned what they were doing.

They headed out of the house and he noticed that both Adam and Hannah were wearing older clothes, things that were faded and past their prime. Mike hadn't had any "dirty jeans" as Hannah suggested, only a few pairs that had seen too much blood spatter and hadn't been rid of the stains yet. But he didn't think those would qualify as "jeans he could get dirty."

He followed them out of front door and down the steps, towards Adam's car. Except that wasn't where Adam and Hannah were headed. They went behind the barn, which left Mike confused. But still… he didn't ask.

Behind the barn was the dirtiest truck he'd ever seen. A run down, mud encrusted pick up truck. Probably in good shape under all the mud.

"Geez," Hannah said to Adam, "You didn't wash it off after last time?"

Adam shrugged. "I had more pressing things to do…."

She rolled her eyes and Adam unlocked the truck.

It was a single bench and Hannah slid into the middle, Adam and Mike on either side.

"So…" Adam said as he started the engine, "Ever been mudding?"

Mike frowned. "Uh… I don't even know what that is."

Hannah smiled. "Small town fun."

Adam grinned. "You'll have to let me know if I go to fast for ya."

Mike nodded uncomfortably and Hannah put her hand on his leg, leaning her head into him.

Adam drove them through the back of the property, through four fences, and into the woods to a thoroughly well used dirt road. It started getting bumpy.

Mike glanced nervously at Hannah and she grinned, trying her hair up in a ponytail.

When they hit the mud, Mike hadn't expected it, wincing from the splatter of mud all over the windshield.

Adam skirted the truck around through and into the mud, making Hannah squeal, her hand tight on Mike's leg, mud spraying through the opened windows.

Mike expected Hannah to yell at Adam to stop it but she didn't. She was grinning and laughing.

Mike smiled. Guess there really wasn't anything to do in a small town!

After what felt like an eternity of skidding through mud and too close to trees at times, Adam finally pulled the truck out of the mud hole and onto drier land.

Both Adam and Hannah's faces were spackled with mud, bits in the hair as they turned to smile at him.

"Well?" Adam asked, grinning.

Hannah almost looked embarrassed. "I told you, small town fun."

Mike smiled. "Pretty fun. Though a little terrifying."

Adam grinned. "Exactly."

Hannah's eyes said thank you to Mike as Adam drove them out of the woods. She was happy that he was along for the ride, doing whatever she and Adam were doing. It was, after all, her little vacation that he'd tagged along for. She was hoping he didn't feel too uncomfortable or out of place.

Out of the woods, Adam drove a different way from where they'd come, along a different field, past a different fence, to a big oak tree standing on its own away from the woods.

Adam stopped the truck away from the tree's shade and got out. Mike and Hannah followed but she hung back as Adam went towards the tree.

She stayed with Mike next to the mud soaked truck.

"He likes to come here after mudding," she said to Mike, eyes on her brother, "I think he feels guilty for his reckless driving."

Mike nodded but didn't actually get it. The tree was beautiful… but it was just a tree… what made this so…

"This is where your mom is buried, isn't it?" Mike asked quietly, watching Adam finally approach the tree, his hand tracing the bark on the trunk.

Hannah nodded. "Yeah… well… this is where we scattered her ashes."

Mike nodded again, now getting it, taking a deep breath. "You don't want to go?"

He looked over at her and she shook her head. "No… this is more of Adam's thing… he remembers her more than I do…"

He watched her sigh, looking a little guilty.

"I don't know… I've never gone and talked to her or anything…. I feel like I don't even know her… is that bad? I hope she doesn't take offense to it or is mad at me…" she said, wondering, feeling silly even mentioning it.

Mike smirked. "I don't think she does… she has to know that you're like that… that you don't like talking much…"

Mike felt a surge of guilt. He knew he may never visit his dad at Arlington… the thought of it too grim. He'd have to make time… he'd have to get past all the guilt he felt and visit him… he'd have to.

Hannah swallowed, shrugging. "I hope she doesn't think her passing made me like this…"

Mike smiled. Even though Hannah couldn't relate to losing her mom and didn't think she had much in common with her, she talked about her like she was still with them. "I don't think she does…"

Hannah shrugged, sighing. That motion made her stomach heave, vomit rising in her throat.

Her eyes bulged and she darted behind the truck, throwing up everything she'd eaten for breakfast. Heaving, she put her hand on the mud covered truck for balance, pushing her hair out of her face, coughing.

"Hannah, are you okay?" Mike asked concerned, following her around the truck, hand on her back.

"Yeah…" she groaned, trying to quell her stomach's declaration to toss the rest of her cookies, "Ugh."

Mike looked up and Adam was jogging over, noticing something was wrong.

"What happened?" he asked, confused.

Mike looked bewildered. "I don't know, she just threw up all of a sudden."

"Geez," Adam said, checking her pulse, "What the hell? I know you don't have food poisoning… and there's no way you have a virus that just presented itself like this… Was my driving that bad?"

"No… that wasn't it…" Hannah said, standing up, confused, "I didn't even feel nauseous… I was just talking and then… yuck."

Adam checked her vital and felt her forehead for her temperature, brow furrowed. Mike didn't know what to do… The fact that Hannah looked nervous scared him. He was thankful Adam was there otherwise Mike would have insisted on driving her straight to the hospital. Healthy people didn't all of a sudden puke mid sentence without feeling nauseous…

"You seem fine now," Adam said, still feeling her pulse, "Any more nausea? Light sensitivity? Headache? Feeling more hot or cold than usual? Clammy? Feeling weak?"

Hannah shook her head. "No… other than being completely embarrassed, I feel fine…"

Both Mike and Adam frowned. Adam shook his head.

"Well, let's head home to err on the side of caution…" Adam said, already heading back to the front seat of the truck.

Hannah took a deep breath and started towards the other side, Mike caught her hand.

"Are you really okay?" he asked, eyes concerned.

"Yeah," she said, brushing him off, "I'm fine."

Mike didn't push it. He knew she was embarrassed… but it didn't stop him from worrying.

Once they got home, Adam washed off the truck while Mike and Hannah headed in the house to clean up.

"You're sure you're okay?" Mike asked her again on the stairs.

"Yeah," Hannah smiled, "I promise."

Mike eyed her suspiciously as she got clean clothes from out of her suitcase.

"I mean it!" she laughed, "It's so weird… I was completely fine… and then… I wasn't… but afterwards I felt normal, like it hadn't even happened."

Mike still didn't like it. He didn't like anything without a straight forward answer or explanation.

She rolled her eyes at him. Kids threw up around her all the time for absolutely no reason. It wasn't a big deal.

She backed up towards the door to her room, eyeing the bathroom down the hallway.

"Shower with me?" she asked, a glint in her eye.

Mike smiled, debating. He wanted to be respectful….

"Well…" he said, grabbing some clothes from his bag, "Someone does need to keep an eye on you in case you get sick again…"

She rolled her eyes, grinning. "I suppose that's true…."

They had more than enough entertainment trying to scrub the mud off each other. Getting it out of her hair all the way was harder than he realized, making her laugh when he scrubbed her hair trying to get it all out. She laughed when she noticed specks of mud in his beard.

He smiled, watching her trying to clean it all off his face, his hands sliding to her stomach.

"Still feeling okay?" he asked, settling his hands around her warm waist.

She nodded, hair slicked wet. "Yeah, I told you I'm fine."

Mike shrugged, still feeling unsure about it. "Just checking…"

Hannah smiled at him. "So now you're taking care of _me_?"

He smiled, hands sliding around to her back, pulling her closer against him. "That's how this works…"

She grinned, hands sliding up along his arms to his shoulders, around his neck. "How what works?"

He kissed her nose. "Our relationship."

She rolled her eyes, brushing wet hair out of her eyes.

"Oh you love it," he grinned, nuzzling her neck through the water.

She laughed. "I suppose I do."

He smiled, trying not to get elated that she almost admitted that she loved their relationship. She shot him a look like she knew exactly what he was thinking so he kissed her to keep her from thinking about it too much.

After the shower and all mud had been successfully washed away, Mike convinced Hannah to take it easy for the rest of the day. She, of course, absolutely refused, wanting to do more with their time in Missouri.

She'd gotten lightheaded going down the stairs and finally, she relented, begrudgingly settling in for a day of movies in the basement.

Mike sat next to her on the couch, getting her a blanket and making her cozy.

"Seriously?" she asked, eyeing Mike annoyed, "Stop babying me."

Mike grinned. "It's what you do when you love someone."

She rolled her eyes, settling in to the blanket anyways, grabbing the remote.

The watched movie after movie. Laughing too hard at funny ones and choosing a slasher movie to counter it.

Halfway through the third movie, Mike realized he hadn't checked his phone since they got there… and that it hadn't bothered him. He was enjoying his time, getting a brief taste of a normal life. The kind of life he'd have with Hannah if he wasn't on the Joe Carroll case anymore…


	40. Chapter 40

Their flight landed earlier than expected and they'd just gotten home, well… to Hannah's apartment. Mike hadn't even made a glance at his door and followed her right up to hers. She guessed he was serious about calling her place home.

They hadn't been ready to leave Missouri, but Hannah guessed it was time to get back to work and start living her normal life again. She couldn't stay away forever.

Mike grew distant, thinking about Ryan and Max, how he'd explain his sudden disappearance and getting back up to speed on Joe Carroll…

He didn't want to get back into that mess again… He felt like he was finally out, enjoying a normal life… he didn't want to go back.

He did, however, want to see Dave and Adam again. They'd invited him for Christmas, though Hannah was sure he'd decline.

"_You're welcome anytime," Dave said, hand on Mike's shoulder, "I mean it… or anytime you need to talk… you have my number…"_

_Mike smiled. He knew Dave meant it. As much as he missed his dad… Dave was a good support, a good reminder. He saw Hannah smile at Dave, glad that he was welcoming and supportive of him. It made him happy, welcomed into their family and finding a place with them._

"_Take care of my girl here," Dave grinned, kissing Hannah on the forehead, "Don't let her tell you she doesn't need it!"_

_Mike smiled. Dave knew his daughter well. "I will."_

_Adam hugged his sister and then shook Mike's hand. "It was fun, man. See you soon!"_

_Mike agreed, definitely hoping to return. Hannah hugged her dad again._

"_Be good, kid. Look out for Mike," Dave said, winking at Mike, "Make sure he gets back up here."_

_Hannah grinned. "I'll try."_

"_I mean it, Mike," Dave said, eyes on him again, "You're welcome to come for Christmas!"_

_Mike smiled and Hannah tried to get her dad to stop. She knew Mike had his own family and as much as he said he hated how big it was and how much he hated his brothers, he would still want to go to his own family's Christmas… right?_

_She guessed she would find out around Christmas._

Hannah kicked her door open, keys falling on the floor.

"Shit," she said, dropping her bag near the couch, looking back at the keys.

"I'll get it," Mike offered, closing the door behind him.

"No, it's okay," she said, bending down to get them. The same nausea rose in her throat and before Mike had locked the front door, she'd bolted to the bathroom, covering her mouth and slamming the door behind her.

Mike frowned, following and knocking on the bathroom door.

"Hannah?" he asked, worried even more, "Everything okay?"

He heard her throw up and he winced. There was no way she'd let him take her to the doctor and he knew it. But this wasn't right… she was completely fine a second ago… and on the flight… Though they had experienced a lot of turbulence… but that was almost two hours ago now…

Hannah opened the door and splashed water on her face, running her toothbrush under the water.

"Seriously," Mike said, standing in the doorframe looking very much as stern as his voice sounded, "I'm getting worried now…"

Hannah shrugged, brushing her teeth.

He sighed. "I'm going to call Adam and see what he thinks."

"I'm fine," she whined, toothbrush in her mouth, "You don't need to call him."

"Hannah," Mike lectured, arms crossing over his chest, "You've thrown up twice in the past 24 hours. This can't be a stomach bug or something… What did you eat today?"

She rinsed her toothbrush off, putting it back in the holder. She didn't say anything and avoided his eyes.

"Well?" Mike pressed, frowning, wanting to get to the bottom of this.

Hannah frowned, drying her hands off. "I haven't eaten yet today."

Mike sighed, exasperated. "You should make an appointment with your doctor. Get blood drawn, run some tests, something!"

Hannah scoffed. "Mike, you're overreacting."

She pushed past him and back to her bag, taking it into the bedroom with her. Mike followed her the whole way.

"I'm serious, Hannah… healthy people don't upchuck all of a sudden!" he said, trying not to embarrass her but still trying to make his point heard.

She didn't seem to hear him, unpacking her bag and throwing things in the laundry basket. She started opening drawers, moving clothes to other ones or into her closet.

"What are you doing?" Mike asked, voice still stern.

"Making some space for you," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder, putting more things into lower drawers, "You said this place was home so… I'm giving you some space for your stuff."

Mike gaped. "What… no, you can't distract me from this! You need to see a doctor!"

She shrugged, putting clothes back into the empty drawers she'd made. "No space? Okay then."

He frowned. "No… I mean… I want the space… thank you… but you need to see a doctor!"

She rolled her eyes. "How about we make a deal? You get some space here… and I get control over what doctor I see and when."

His jaw hardened. He did want to have a place in her apartment with her… but he really did want her to see someone before anything got worse.

"You promise you'll see someone if it gets worse or continues?" he asked, deciding that perhaps she had come to a good compromise with him.

She nodded, sighing. "Yes, I'm not on a death wish."

He smirked. "Good. It's settled then."

Hannah smiled. He was cute when he was mad and all worked up.

"Well," Mike said, checking his phone regretfully, "I need to meet up with Max and Ryan but I'll be back in a little bit."

Hannah smiled at him with hair in her eyes, making more space for him in her closet. "Okay. Pasta for dinner?"

He grinned, kissing her. His normal life with her… Her making room for him… planning on having dinner ready for him when he got home… when he came home to her…

The kind of life he wanted. The kind of life he currently had… which would be wrecked as soon as he walked out the door to talk to Ryan and Max and get involved with Joe Carroll again…

* * *

Mike headed back to the apartment after what felt like hours, mind thick with thoughts flooding around. Claire had demanded to see him… he knew she would want to after seeing the broadcast that Joe was alive. He'd avoided it this long.

Mike was frustrated. Everyone wanted Joe killed…even he did… but no… Joe would be arrested and put away for a very long time. The legal system would take care of him… Right?

No… he shook his head… not like last time… there was no way… Joe Carroll would never stop until he was killed.

And Claire wanted to see Ryan… there was no way that would be good… Ryan would definitely never talk to him again. He knew Claire was alive this whole time… Ryan would never forgive him for not telling him.

He shook his head, taking the stairs up to Hannah's apartment. The one that now… they shared? Almost…

Truthfully… perhaps it would be good that Ryan would never forgive him… maybe that would be the final straw that would let him leave the case and Ryan Hardy behind… but Max… no… Max wasn't the reason for this. None of this was her fault. She shouldn't have to suffer because of it…

He opened the door using Hannah's spare key. She made sure he'd taken it since she said she would be out running errands while he was gone. She said she needed to get a few groceries and things before going back to work on Monday.

When Mike closed the door behind him, he noticed she'd left the radio playing in the living room.

Weird…

He set his keys down on the kitchen counter right next to… hers…

"Hannah?"

No answer.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. The door had been locked when he got home… The radio was left on… Her keys were on the counter…

His skin prickled. No sign of forced entry. No sign of a struggle…

He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed her number… her phone rang in the living room on the couch…

Mike swallowed, she wouldn't leave her phone… He started to dial Ryan's number… something horrible must have happened. He immediately started looking for evidence, any sign…

He heard sniffling from the bedroom.

"Hannah?"

Still no answer.

Heart beating wildly, he raced through the apartment, finding her sitting on the bathroom floor, wide eyed.

"Jesus, Hannah, you scared me to death, I thought-"

She looked up at him with terrified eyes, lip trembling.

His breath caught in his throat… He was confused … Why was she…

He looked to the floor … a pregnancy test laid upside down near her feet.

Mike looked back at her, tears swelling in her eyes.

He didn't know what to think… or even how to breathe… He didn't know if she was relieved because she thought she could be pregnant but just found out she wasn't… Or was she terrified because she was…


	41. Chapter 41

Hannah's lip trembled and she felt like throwing up again. She could hardly breathe.

Mike knelt to the floor next to her, heart pounding, trying to take it all in…

_Shit._

He reached for the test, trying not to panic until he knew for sure…

"It's positive…" she said, her voice barely a whisper.

His ears deafened and his hand froze. His breath got shallow. _It's positive. She's pregnant…_ His mind struggled to grasp it. She was… she was… _Oh my god…_

She looked up at him, shaking.

"Mike…" she squeaked, eyes watering, "I can't…. I can't…"

She burst into tears and hid her face behind her arms. "Mike, I didn't…"

He sat down beside her, completely numb. _She's pregnant._

She sobbed and he didn't know what to do. _Holy shit. She's pregnant_.

His head was spinning.

"I'm… I'm…" she stuttered through sobs. She couldn't finish it.

"Pregnant," he whispered, eyes on the test at her feet.

He was having trouble breathing. They weren't ready. He wasn't ready. They couldn't… But they had… And she was… No… This wasn't happening. It wasn't supposed to happen like this… No, not like this… This wasn't perfect…

They were barely together… and now… Jesus… and now…

Hannah sobbed next to him and he felt more guilt that he'd ever felt. He knew she was taking this much harder than he was… He swallowed. As difficult as this was to grasp, he couldn't imagine what she was feeling, thinking… He had to pull this together. He had to, for her.

"Hannah," Mike said gently, pulling her into him, "It's going to be okay…"

She shook her head, tears flying everywhere. "No, it's not! Mike… I'm pregnant!"

She burst into new sobs, body shaking. Saying it out loud made it worse.

He tried to smile for her, trying to stay calm. Panicking would only make her worse. "Yeah… I know… it's going to be okay."

"No, it's not!" she squealed, "Do you know what this means?"

He swallowed, trying to put on a brave face for her. "Yeah… We're having a baby together."

Hannah sobbed again, harder than before. _A baby. Jesus_. She couldn't have a baby. No. No. No. NO!

"I can't, Mike!" she whined, "I just can't."

"We'll figure it out," he said, trying to sound reassuring even though to tell the truth, he was scared shitless, too.

She scoffed through tears. "I can't commit to you or even admit that I love you… how am I supposed to have a b… a b…. a b…."

"A baby?" he said, trying to help her.

"YES!" she wailed, "I just can't. It's not supposed to be like this!"

He sighed. "I know… but we'll make the best of it…"

She sobbed. "How am I supposed to raise a kid for its entire life? I can't even commit to a boyfriend!"

He smiled. "You committed to me… you made it that far… and we'll figure it out as we go along…"

"And you," she wailed, "I ruined your life! You're stuck with a kid for the rest of your life! You'll get sick of me but you'll have this kid for forever. Oh god."

Mike smirked. "That's usually how kids work… they're yours forever. And I won't get sick of you. I'll keep you for just as long as our kid."

She choked back a sob. Their kid. _Dear god._

"I know you're scared," Mike said, brushing back her hair, "But this will be okay, I promise… I'm not going anywhere."

Hannah whimpered, sniffling. "I'm so sorry, Mike… I'm so sorry…"

He sighed. "There's nothing to be sorry about… "

"I don't know how this could have happened," she heaved, face buried in her arms.

Mike's eyebrows raised. "I'm pretty sure we know how this happened..."

Hannah sobbed. "Birth control pills aren't 100% effective but, JESUS, c'mon! Not like this!"

Mike tried to be supportive. "Well… did you miss one? Or something…?"

He didn't want to imply that this was her fault… that she'd caused this.

"No, I…" her head shot up, "Oh my god… I was on antibiotics! No, no, no, no! How could I have been this stupid! This is all my fault!"

Mike sighed. She'd said exactly what he didn't want her to say.

"No, this isn't your fault at all… We're in this together… I mean… it's not ideal… but… I think our baby will be all right…" he said, trying to sound positive, though he really wasn't sure.

She wailed again. Their baby.

"I can't have a baby, Mike," she choked, "You know what kind of person I am… you know that I can't connect to people or let people in… Oh my god, what if I hate my own baby?"

He sighed again. "First off, it's my baby, too, and second… it's going to be okay… you're not going to hate our kid… We'll work everything out…"

She whimpered. "I can't do this, Mike…"

He pulled her closer, trying to let her calm down. He knew she was terrified. And she was right… she couldn't fully commit to him… she couldn't even say that she loved him… no wonder she was scared about being pregnant.

Pregnant. Even that thought was hard to swallow for him. They were having a baby.

He tried to hold it together for her. He knew she was scared out of her mind. He told himself that it would be okay. That he was a good man. He could provide for them.

Them...

Hannah and his baby… Their baby… His own family. His heart constricted in his chest. They were going to be a family. The small family they both wanted… but not like this… not this soon…

He shook his head. No… they could do this… He could hold it together for her… He would be a good man for her… He would be a good father…

A father…

His head was swimming. He gulped. He couldn't believe it…

Hannah was pregnant. She was having his baby…

His baby…

God… he couldn't believe it…

Hannah's sobs brought him back to the present, out of his own cloud of thoughts.

"Hey, it'll be okay… we have more than enough time to adjust to this and get ready…" he said, trying to cheer her up.

She choked and scoffed. "I don't understand how you're not freaking out about this right now…"

He shrugged. He was, but he wouldn't admit it to her and send her into a meltdown. "I know it's not perfect… but life isn't perfect… I love you more than anything and… eventually I did want a family with you… it just happened to start a little sooner than I expected…"

Hannah gasped for breath, still crying. "I'm so scared, Mike."

He kissed the side of her forehead, feeling her shake. "I know… I am, too."

And just like that she sat up straight, red face suddenly stoic, taking in a deep breath.

"You're right… you're right…" she said, trying to grab hold of something tangible, trying to make sense of it, "This is fucking terrifying… but…"

Mike waited, confused at her sudden change. "But…"

She took a deep breath, stifling her tears. "But… this isn't the worst thing that could happen… right? I mean… It could be so much worse… I'm an adult… I have a career and am financially stable, albeit possibly not emotionally stable, but financial nonetheless… and things like this happen all the time… People get pregnant and they have kids and their lives aren't completely ruined, right? Right… Things like this happen…"

Mike was confused… but at least she wasn't crying hysterically anymore. "Um… right…"

"Right," she said, gaining her breath through still watery eyes, trying to sound confident, "I can do this… This isn't a big deal… Just having a kid… Just… Yep… Having a baby… I am having a baby… I need to clean something."

Hannah got up off the floor and walked to the kitchen, leaving Mike speechless on the floor.

_What the hell…._

He knew she hated change and definitely hated any kind of commitment… but geez… she went from crying hysterically to trying to make total sense of it and then wanted to clean.

He got up carefully. He needed to approach this cautiously. At any second, she might throw him out and demand that he never see her again… She could threaten to- NO… she would never get rid of her pregnancy. He knew she couldn't do it. She hadn't said anything close to it… She wouldn't…

Mike cautiously edged around the corner to the kitchen, where she had out paper towels, sponges, and spray bottles, furiously scrubbing the sink.

"Hannah…" Mike said carefully, trying to gauge her emotional stability. Was she having a serious mental break down?

"Mike," she said calmly, not making eye contact with him, "I'm fine… well… no, not fine, I'm fucking terrified, but I need to accept this… I'm having a baby and… and I will make it work."

"We…" Mike corrected, "We will make it work."

She slammed the bottle of cleaner on the counter. "You can't say that. You're not the one who's pregnant, here… I am… This is on me and my life… This is mine to take care of."

He frowned, staying where he stood. "We're in this together… I'm just as responsible…"

Hannah sighed, scrubbing again. "I'm the only one who's in this for life… You can leave anytime you want."

Mike approached her carefully, trying to convey all body language he knew that would show her that he was genuine and not trying to assert over her. He knew she would hate that at a time like this. She would not want to be chastised.

"I'm not going anywhere… you're wrong if you think I'm leaving you… especially now… there's no way I'd back out of helping you raise our child," he said, meaning every word of it.

"You don't need to help me do anything," she said, shaking her head, "I'll have this under control. There's no reason why both our lives should be ruined. You're too young to be saddled with a girlfriend and a kid you didn't want."

Hannah knew her words would sting as soon as she said them. She winced, sighing. She didn't mean it… she was upset… terrified… trying to get everything under control, into a neat little box that she could label and categorize, make it predictable.

She put her hand over her eyes. "I'm sorry… you know I didn't mean it…"

Her eyes were watery when she looked at him again, sniffling, and he shrugged.

He took in a deep breath, trying to be patient with her. "Maybe I didn't want a kid right now… I hadn't even thought about it… but… I do know that I love you… and if I have to have a kid with anyone, I'm glad it's you."

And finally, a crack of a smile from her and he was relieved.

"Thanks," she said sighing, meeting his eyes, "I suppose the feeling is mutual."

She went back to scrubbing and he felt the air lighten considerably. It was going to be okay… And even like this… finding out she was pregnant… being terrified… she'd admitted that she was glad it was him she was having a baby with.

Mike watched her clean, trying to find order in this chaos and he smiled. This wasn't what he wanted… but he couldn't say that he was mad or even regretful. Maybe it was supposed to be for a reason?

He swallowed and she put the spray bottles away, pulling out pots and pans to make dinner.

He tried to imagine her apartment with baby stuff in it… toys… blankets… a crib… Shit… They would need a crib… They should get a bigger place. No… she would refuse to move in with him officially, he knew it. She would refuse a lot of things.

She filled a pot with water for pasta and set it on the stove.

He tried to imagine coming home to her, finishing dinner with their baby on her hip, smiling and stirring sauce, asking about his day. She would have her hair tied up in a bun or a ponytail, away from their baby's grasp. He imagined kissing both of them, happy to be home.

He tried to imagine what holding their newborn would feel like… Looking at his baby for the first time…. Rocking him to sleep, cradled tightly against his chest.

He watched Hannah start with tomatoes and garlic for sauce, carrying on as if nothing had happened. As if the test wasn't still laying on the bathroom floor, a silent reminder.

He knew she'd be okay… as scared as she was… And now saying that everything was okay… It was her defense mechanism… Once their baby was born, he knew she'd fall in love them and all doubt would be erased from her mind… He knew she would love the feeling of holding her baby, never wanting to let go. He could almost hear her cooing to their baby, grinning up at him, happy as could be, love in her eyes.

He knew she'd love being a mother once the baby was born… Of course she would… She loved taking care of people…

Hannah looked up and saw Mike deep in thought, a small smile on his face.

"I don't want to know what you're thinking about," she said, trying to focus on dinner and nothing else, trying to have a grasp on normalcy.

Mike smiled. "Just how much I love you."

She stopped stirring the sauce. "You're sure you're not mad?"

He smirked, coming around the counter to her, hands on her waist, trying not to touch her stomach because it would possibly send her back into a melt down.

"No… I'm not mad… Though if I say I'm happy, you'll think I got you knocked up on purpose," he joked.

She actually laughed and he kissed her, so relieved to see her finally smile again.

"I'm sorry I lost it…" she said, looking down, embarrassed.

He kissed her forehead. "I know that's just what happens some times… I won't ever hold it against you… especially since I know it'll happen a few more times in the next coming months." 

She shivered. She knew she would absolutely break down in the next few months. When she first notices that her stomach is getting bigger… when someone actually asks if she's pregnant… the first time a stranger tries to touch her stomach… the first time she feels their baby kick…

She quelled a sniffle. They were having a baby together. A baby that would have Mike's eyes… and her smile… A baby that would smile at her one day… absolutely full of love…

She wondered how scared Mike was on the inside. She knew he wasn't showing it. She knew he was doing it for her, hiding how scared he was for her… because he knew that she needed him to be strong and hold it together… She knew he would be a good father. As loving and encouraging as he was… he would be a good dad.

"We're in this together," Mike said against her hair, holding her close, "Always. I'm not going anywhere. I'm more in love with you now than I was an hour ago."

He felt her smile against him. "Somehow you saying that isn't as terrifying anymore…"

He grinned. "See? You're getting used to it. I told you… And you'll get used to the idea that we're having a baby… It's going to be okay… I promise."

Hannah leaned up and kissed him, still scared, but completely trusting that he meant it. There was no one else she wanted more than him at that moment. No one else who would make her feel as secure and confident that they could do this, that she could handle this. As much as she'd tried to deny it, she knew she was absolutely in love with him… and as scared as she was, she knew she'd love the baby she'd have with him.


	42. Chapter 42

Something woke Mike up, but he was happy to be back in his bed… well… Hannah's bed… Home.

There was nothing like waking up and feeling at home after being away. It was still early, dark, before his alarm had gone off. He planned to meet up with Ryan and Max to catch up with the case.

Looking around, he looked next to him, a strange glowing light coming from the other side of the bed where Hannah should be.

His eyes adjusted and he saw her with her laptop in front of her, furiously typing. She hadn't noticed he was awake yet.

"What are you doing?" Mike asked groggily, reaching for his phone to check the time. It was two in the morning.

Hannah didn't look away from her computer, long hair over her shoulders, eyes on the screen.

"Researching," she said, as if that would be enough of an explanation, opening a new tab in her browser.

"Huh?" Mike asked, bewildered. What the hell was she doing at 2am?

She rolled her eyes. "Kid stuff… I'm organizing a whole timeline and chain of events…"

Mike blinked. "At two in the morning?"

Hannah frowned. "I couldn't sleep… this baby stuff started freaking me out… and since I can't run away from this or shut you out… I'm trying to get as prepared as I can in hopes that knowing everything will calm me down…"

He rolled onto his side, coming up on his elbow to take a peek at what she was working on.

She had an entire excel sheet started with important dates and milestones, things to look for, things to avoid. She had several tabs of articles open, trying to be as informed as she could.

Mike watched her carefully. He would've called her nuts, but he didn't. She knew her shortcomings and knew that stress and feeling unsure made her want to bolt… at least she was trying to find a new coping mechanism… even if it was a little neurotic.

"Anything interesting?" Mike asked, settling in beside her, trying to be supportive rather than judgmental.

Hannah smiled at him. She'd expected him to call her psycho and order her to go back to sleep. This was a pleasant surprise.

"Well…" she started, "I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself and trying only to focus on the first trimester- which, by the way, is pretty much incubating a sea creature. There are whole articles comparing babies to different fruits at different stages of development! Fruits! Isn't that weird?"

"Very," Mike smiled, happy that she was taking an interest in their baby rather than completely ignoring its existence.

"Anyways," Hannah said, "There's a lot to cover… And a lot to do… I'm going to try to keep my head on later at the doctor's office. Those places give me the heebs anyways…"

He smiled. As soon as Hannah had calmed down that night, she'd put a call in to her doctor, trying to get an appointment for later on in the week. To her surprise, however, her doctor offered to squeeze her in between existing appointments.

"Yeah, about that appointment," Mike said carefully. He hadn't asked to come earlier, being more wary about being in her space and life. He didn't want to be all over her and make her feel suffocated…

"What about it?" Hannah asked, opening another article about babies and fruit.

"What time is it?" Mike queried, feigning curiosity.

"2am," Hannah answered, reading about apples and grapefruits, "Ew… apparently right now our kid is the size of a poppy seed or maybe even a orange seed… gross…"

"No, Hannah, the doctor's appointment, what time is it for?" Mike asked, trying not to be distracted imagining an orange seed sized baby in her.

"Oh… nine… why?" Hannah asked, eyes glancing over all the weird fruits and vegetables her kid would be compared too, "This is going to make me never want to eat produce again."

"Well, I was thinking…" Mike started.

"Oh… the appointment," Hannah interrupted, finally taking her eyes off the screen, "Mike, don't worry about it. I know you need to meet with Max and Ryan. There will be plenty more appointments, I'm sure."

Mike frowned, almost angry. She was assuming he wasn't going to make it, already giving an excuse for why he couldn't.

"No… I'm asking if I can come…" Mike said, upset that she would think he'd miss this.

Hannah blinked. "Of course you can come… it's your kid, too…"

Mike let the tension in his brow release. That still wasn't the answer he wanted… Yeah it was his kid, too… but… maybe he wanted her to want him there with her… to experience it with her… No way… As independent as Hannah was, she wouldn't ever ask him to come to an appointment for her. Maybe she'd be considerate that he'd want to go… but he doubted she'd ever want him there for her.

Noticing that he was still uneasy, she turned away from her laptop, saving mango and lime babies for another day.

"Mike…" she started, taking a deep breath, "I know you hate missing dinners and being late for things… you're going to miss a lot and we both know it… Kind've what I wanted to avoid… but it's your job… and with this kid… there will be a lot of appointments to miss… and lots of firsts you'll miss… I don't want you to stress about it more than you will…"

Although she was being nice, it still hurt to hear it. He would miss a lot. The appointments were one thing… Those were scheduled… He'd know ahead of time that he'd miss them… There would be no way that he could make every one… Something would always come up…

But the firsts… he didn't realize he'd miss the firsts… He'd be out chasing down Joe Carroll… and he'd miss the first time she felt their baby kick… He already knew it. He might even miss the first time she saw their baby on the ultrasound screen…

"I know…" Mike said sadly, "I hate my job… It always ruins something… but I promise I'll try to be at every appointment I can…"

Hannah smiled. "I know you will…"

She suspected just as much. They'd talked about family the other day, not realizing that their own would be so soon… she knew he wanted one. And now, with his dad gone, he'd want to be a good father.

"But yeah, you can come tomorrow," she said, leaning over and kissing him, "I'd like that."

Mike grinned. "So tell me more about this orange seed thing…"

* * *

Nine am took a long time to roll around and Mike was get antsy. He was excited. Hannah, however, seemed unenthused, trying to swallow the giant gulp of someone else telling her that yes, she was definitely pregnant.

She'd only spoken to Mike about it and decided to leave announcing it to her dad and Adam to another day, at least after the doctor confirmed it. She'd already read about miscarriages being the most common in the first trimester and she didn't want to get everyone into a ruckus if it wasn't necessary.

The truth was, a miscarriage scared the hell out of her. She'd read too many articles at 2am about them and what to avoid to prevent them. She knew already that if it were to happen, both she and Mike would be crushed, despite the unexpectedness of her pregnancy.

"Ms. Evans?" the receptionist asked, "You can come on back, Dr. Stewart is ready."

Hannah gulped. She hated hospitals and doctors and waiting rooms.

She got to her feet and Mike stood next to her, looking uncomfortable and awkward. He didn't think a couple days ago that he'd be escorting his pregnant girlfriend to the doctor anytime soon.

In the exam room, Dr. Stewart prepped her and Mike suddenly thought that perhaps maybe he shouldn't have come. And that he didn't know nearly as much as women and kids as he thought.

Dr. Stewart explained the internal ultrasound and Hannah looked uncomfortable. It took everything Mike had not to bolt from the room. Dr. Stewart gave Mike and reassuring smile, noticing the nerves of a new father.

"Okay, so what we're looking for here…" Dr. Stewart said, pointing her gloved finger up at the screen and diverting their attention, "In the middle of all this static… is a little sac… and…. Right about…. There… See that?"

Hannah squinted. "Nope. Nothing."

Mike looked harder, leaning over her. "Right here?"

Dr. Stewart nodded. "Yep. That's the embryotic sac… You're definitely pregnant!

Hannah gulped. She knew she was pregnant… Dr. Stewart being her energetic, upbeat self about it made it a little more than she could handle.

"Wow…" Mike said, studying it close, trying to envision that orange seed being a recognizable baby one day.

"And if you look carefully…" Dr. Stewart said, noticing Mike's curiosity, "See that flicker? You know what that is?"

Mike shook his head, not being able to tear his eyes from the screen.

Dr. Stewart looked at Hannah and smiled.

"Heartbeat," Hannah said quietly, knowing that Dr. Stewart was trying to make her involved in this, make her as bought in as Mike seemed.

Mike grinned. "It has a heartbeat? That's it there?"

Dr. Stewart nodded, letting him look for just a second longer. "Yep… I'll print you off a picture."

She shut the screen off and Mike was still grinning, amazed. He looked at Hannah, completely astonished.

Hannah smiled at him, rolling her eyes. He was all about this baby thing.

"When can we hear the heartbeat? When is it due? When can we come back?" Mike asked, full of questions and dying to know.

Hannah scoffed. He was worse than she was.

Dr. Stewart smiled. "Not until about 10 weeks can you really hear it. I'd say you're about six weeks, Ms. Evans… so just a little bit longer… And due? Well… I'd say you got pregnant in the beginning of February so I'd estimate your due date to be… November 4th."

Mike grinned wickedly. He'd be holding his brand new baby by the end of the year.

"As for your next appointment, you can schedule that up front and I'll have your picture for you," Dr. Stewart said, shaking both of their hands and exiting out the door, "Congratulations."

As Hannah got dressed, Mike couldn't stop smiling.

"Didn't I tell you to stop that look?" Hannah said sarcastically, smiling. She didn't realize Mike would be this thrilled.

"I… I can't help it!" Mike said, putting on his Dave impression, "I'm just a big pile of love!"

She laughed. "Seriously, you sound like him!"

Mike smiled, putting his arms around her after she put her shoes back on. "I mean it, Hannah! I can't believe how happy I am!"

Hannah rolled her eyes, pushing hair back from her face. "You're ridiculous. Calm down."

He kissed her. "Not a chance… I know this was the last thing we expected… but I can't get over how in love with you I am… And this… this has changed everything…"

She smiled, letting him have his moment. "I know… just think about when you see him for the first time."

Mike gasped. "What if it's a boy? What if we have a son!"

His head started spinning in a million different directions and Hannah laughed, pulling on his hand and back to reality.

"Calm down, Mike. We won't know what it is for a long time," Hannah said, feeling his excitement spark with her, "Let's go set our next appointment."

He beamed again. _Our next appointment_.

He wasn't sure if she was referring to her and the baby's appointment… or for her and himself… Either way he was ecstatic…

When the receptionist handed them the picture, Mike took it immediately and started studying it, almost walking into the door on the way out. Hannah had to steer him out the building and on to the street.

"I want to be at the next appointment," Mike said, already setting it in his phone, "I'm going to do everything I can…"

She smiled. "I know you will… so… off to meet Ryan and Max?"

Mike nodded, trying to let his good mood ride out for just a little bit longer…

"Yeah… I don't know how long I'll be," he said regretfully, wishing he could push that part of reality back just a little bit further.

Hannah kissed him, pulling her jacket closer. "Be as long as you need to be. I'm going to be writing lesson plans all day to get ready for work tomorrow."

Mike nodded. "Okay. I love you."

She kissed him goodbye and he watched walk away in the opposite direction, back to their building and he started to think of how he would approach the situation of them living together…

Would she want separate places but only live in one? Kind of like a safety net in case something went wrong? Would the hormones that kicked in in a few months make her want to live with him completely? Would the hormones make her even more affectionate and loving?

His mind started dancing away, completely amazed the entire walk to Ryan's apartment.

When he got inside, Ryan was looking over a report in the kitchen, Max reading something else on the couch.

"Uh… hey…" Mike said, taking off his coat, his good mood instantly squashed, already feeling Max's eyes on him uneasily.

"Hey," Ryan said, looking up, "Where've you been?"

"Uh…" Mike stammered, he hadn't thought of an excuse, "I took some time off… you know… take the break I needed…"

Ryan nodded. He wished Mike would've told him beforehand… but he was glad he'd taken the time off that everyone told him he should take.

Max, however, didn't look like she bought it, watching him carefully. Mike tried to avoid her gaze.

He'd been MIA since going to Missouri, since seeing Claire, and confirming Hannah's pregnancy this morning. He'd forgotten all about seeing Claire… shit… and now he remembered. Damn… He'd have to hide the guilt of that, too.

"So uh… anything new?" Mike asked, looking on the counter at the reports.

"Not a lot…" Ryan said, "We tried to track Joe by telling him we got his good ol buddy… didn't work out so well…"

"Hmm…" Mike mused, "Couldn't track it?"

Ryan shook his head. "Not even close."

Mike frowned. He felt guilty. Maybe if he'd been there, he could've helped somehow…

"I'm going to run some new sequences… see if I can find any of those religious cult groups," Max said, hurrying off to Ryan's stronghold, not looking at Mike.

Mike sighed. He knew Max took his absence personally. He should've been there helping them.

"Everything alright?" Ryan asked, eyeing Mike carefully.

Mike nodded. "Yeah… just need to get caught up…"

Ryan watched him, unsure if he was lying to cover something else up… or because he felt guilty about taking time off…

Mike considered telling Ryan about Hannah… but no… it was too soon… and too personal. Would Ryan even care? But he knew he would be missed a lot… he'd make sure he got to her appointments… What if she got sick? What if she needed him? He'd need to be closer to home… maybe skip out of chasing Joe Carroll endlessly…

He would tell Ryan… but maybe later… He hadn't even told his family yet… Though he felt closer to Ryan than his own family on occasion… And Max… shit… would she think that Hannah's pregnancy would tear their team apart? Be the reason for him being gone a lot again?

Mike sighed. "Ryan, there is something…"

Ryan looked up, expecting Mike to take more time off… expecting him to say that he was sticking to his guns, he was out. He'd finally realized it.

Mike took the ultrasound picture out of his pocket and slid it across the table towards Ryan, revealing his child to someone for the first time, proud and confident.

Ryan looked at it, frowning, trying to discern what it even was, trying to figure out if it was evidence or…

He noticed the name at the top. _Hannah Evans. Ridgewood Medical Center._

He looked up at Mike, eyes wide.

Mike smiled. "Hannah's pregnant."

Ryan waited a beat, looking back down at the picture, looking back up at Mike, a smile cracking over his hardened exterior.

"No way! Wow… congratulations," Ryan said, relieved to see Mike smiling and so happy.

Mike beamed. "Just found out yesterday actually… First appointment was this morning."

Ryan smiled, shaking his head, trying hard to comprehend it. "That's awesome."

Mike smiled, something Ryan hadn't seen from him in a while… not for a long while. He looked young, happy, carefree… Something Mike hadn't been in a long time… He felt the ping of guilt as he knew he was the reason why Mike had been so miserable… that Mike had been following in his footsteps… And that if he knew what was good for him, what was good for Hannah and their baby, he'd really be out for good…

Ryan knew he'd have to talk to him… Talk him into leaving him and Max and Joe Carroll behind… Eyes on a better future for his family…

But he'd do that another time.

Max came back from the back room. "Still nothing. What's up? Why are you guys weird?"

Ryan smiled at Mike, letting him explain it.

"Hannah's pregnant," Mike said again, still smiling. Ryan handed her the ultrasound picture.

Max looked at it, confused. "Wow… uh… congratulations…"

If Mike hadn't been there, Ryan would've scolded her. She didn't look happy about it at all.

Ryan's glare caught her eye and she realized her mood was lacking. "I mean, wow! Congratulations, Mike! That's awesome!"

Mike smiled. "Thanks, Max… that means a lot."

She smiled and Ryan knew it was forced, but appreciated that she made the effort.

Tucking the picture of his baby back into his pocket, Mike focused back on what he'd missed, trying not to let on that he'd seen Claire or even knew she was alive.

Everything had fallen into place, as well as it possibly could for right now. Even though they were still hunting after Joe Carroll and his new group, he, Ryan, and Max were working through it together. And he had Hannah… a happy Hannah, pregnant and all his…


	43. Chapter 43

At 10 weeks pregnant, Hannah didn't feel different still. Just shy of three months, her stomach felt the same but Mike insisted that there was a difference. He said he could tell.

"What fruit are we at now?" Mike asked, glancing over from his baby book. Yes… baby book. Hannah was surprised when he brought a couple home sheepishly hiding the brown paper bag from the bookstore.

She frowned, checking the article she was rereading for the millionth time. "Umm… a prune."

"A prune?" Mike asked incredulously, "Weird…"

"Seriously," Hannah said rolling her eyes. Mike had been so excited for this appointment and he'd told Ryan he wasn't even coming in to the office until after the appointment. He refused to miss it.

Dr. Stewart was running late and they were waiting in the examination room.

"So, Ryan is still seeing Carrie Cooke," Mike smiled, glancing over at Hannah, "I think she's a good influence on him so far…"

Hannah smiled. "You think so? You think he's ready for something after Lily Gray threw him off? And well… since this is the first something since Claire…"

Mike averted her eyes. He hadn't told her that Claire was alive. He couldn't. There was no way. He couldn't involve her in this any more.

"Well… anyone besides Joe Carroll is good for Ryan," Mike smiled, knowing that Carrie may be as good for Ryan as Hannah was for him.

Hannah smiled. Maybe someone for Ryan was a good thing…

"Knock, knock!" Dr. Stewart announced, cheerfully whisking through the door.

Mike grinned. "Good morning!"

Hannah cast her a sideways glance. "Morning."

"Alright, 10 weeks! How are we feeling?" Dr. Stewart asked, peppy as could be.

Hannah shrugged. "Normal, I guess."

Dr. Stewart looked to Mike.

"Uh, a little more tired than usual," Mike noted, smiling at Hannah.

She glared at him. She knew he only wanted what was best for her and wanted to make sure she was okay.

He smiled.

"Totally normal," Dr. Stewart said, "Well, let's get this Doppler going and see what we can hear!"

Mike tucked away his book and sat up taller, looking straight towards the screen he'd first seen his baby on, hoping to get another glimpse.

Hannah couldn't help but smile, even as Dr. Stewart smeared ultrasound goo on her stomach to her discomfort, Doppler in hand. Mike realized this wasn't the same kind of ultrasound.

"And we should hear…." Dr. Stewart started, passing the Doppler over Hannah's skin, "A heartbeat."

All Hannah could hear was static and a weird echo.

Dr. Stewart smiled at her. "Do you hear it?"

"Um… I don't think so…" Hannah said, glancing towards Mike.

Mike, however, was speechless and grinning. "I hear it."

Hannah frowned. Oh… that weird galloping noise?

She smiled. Her baby had a heartbeat. Mike stared at her incredulously. He was in absolutely amazement. His hand covered his mouth, unable to contain his glee.

"There you have it," Dr. Stewart said, "Heartbeat and all. Try and rest up. You'll start getting round ligament pains as the muscles start stretching. That will definitely make you more tired."

Hannah sighed. "Yay… so many things to look forward to."

Mike grinned. "When do we get to know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Dr. Stewart smiled. "Not for another six weeks."

Mike grinned. He couldn't wait for that.

His phone rang from his pocket as Dr. Stewart wiped the goo off Hannah's stomach.

"Yeah?" Mike answered, trying not to let his good mood spoil, seeing Ryan's name. He listened and his eyes got wide.

Hannah tried not to notice.

"Yeah, okay, I'm coming," he said, quickly, turning to Hannah, "Shit, it's bad, Hannah… an attack at a bakery…"

She nodded. "Okay, go. I'll finish up here."

"Okay," he said quickly, leaning down to kiss her, "I love you. I'll call you when I can!"

Hannah nodded again. "Okay. Be safe. See you soon."

Mike rushed out of the exam room, leaving Hannah to shrug and finish up with her appointment.

She scheduled her next appointment and considered texting it to Mike… but decided she'd just wait until she saw him later. He didn't need distractions. She wanted him to be as safe as possible. She headed back to work, still concealing that she was even pregnant.

She still had not told anyone about it. She knew that Mike told Ryan, but no one else.

She'd thought about telling her friends but then realized they'd all be too annoyingly happy about it and it would bother her. She would wait until she was more comfortable and excited about it. No one could even tell she was pregnant yet… she could get away with a few more weeks…

But her dad… she still hadn't told him or Adam…

Hannah swallowed, exiting the hospital, phone in hand. She knew she'd have to bite the bullet and tell them sometime… and the longer she waited, the madder they'd be that she didn't tell him…

_Now or never…_

She dialed Adam's number and waited.

"Hey," Adam answered, "I'm at work, what's up?"

"Got a minute?" Hannah asked, hoping that maybe he'd turn her down and she could put this off for longer.

"Yeah…" Adam said, "Let me step outside… What's going on?"

"So…" Hannah started, trying to figure out a good way to say it, "What'd you think of Mike?"

She could almost hear him smile and shrug. "From what I saw, a good guy. He seemed nice enough. Got along with Dad and I, that's for sure. Dad really likes him."

_Good…_

"Perfect… well… the reason why I ask is because Mike will probably be with us for Christmas…"

"Ok…"

"And a lot more holidays…"

"Um…" Adam said, confused, "Don't tell me you got married..."

Hannah cringed. Perhaps this was worse?

"No… I'm pregnant," she said, biting and bullet and cringing harder. There. She said it. It was done.

"For real?" Adam asked, sighing.

"Yeah…" Hannah said, trying to avoid the disappointment in his voice, "I know…"

"I mean…" Adam stuttered, "I know you… I know how freaked out you must be about this…"

"You have no idea," Hannah sighed, relieved that Adam knew her that well. He knew it'd be hard for her to accept.

"How'd Mike take it?" Adam asked.

"Actually really well… I know he's freaked out but there's only room for one of us to do that so he's holding it together. He's really excited now… We just got to hear the baby's heartbeat," Hannah explained, trying to get used to saying that.

"Well cool, then," Adam said, "I'm glad he's happy. Makes that a lot easier. But… that's pretty cool… I know it's not really what you wanted… but the fact that you're not hysterical right now tells me that you'll be alright."

Hannah scoffed. "Seriously… Thank God I still have a few months to get used to it."

Adam laughed. "When is the kid due?"

"November," she said, trying to imagine Uncle Adam.

"Well tell Mike congratulations for me!" Adam said, "I gotta get back to work… have fun telling Dad."

Hannah cringed. "Gee, thanks… that'll be fun…"

Adam laughed "Relax. You know Dad loves babies."

She scoffed. "Not when his only daughter is having a child out of wedlock with a guy he just met…"

Adam snickered. "What is this the 1800s? Dad's a realist. He'll be alright with it…"

She sighed. She hoped so.

Adam hung up and Hannah stared at her phone but started walking back to school. Should she call her dad right there and then and get it over with? Or wait until Mike was with her in case Dave wanted to talk to him… or yell at him…

She cringed. Maybe she should just get it over with now…

No… later…

Now…

Later….

Shaking her head, she stuffed her phone into her pocket, making up her mind to wait just a little bit longer.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She sighed in relief, hoping it was Mike to let her know everything was okay.

"Hello?" she answered, worried it would hit the last ring and go straight to her voicemail.

"Hey there sweetheart," Dave sang. Her stomach dropped and she gulped.

"Hey… Dad…" Hannah answered, hating how uneasy she knew she sounded.

"Adam just texted me and said he talked to you! How've you been? How's work? How's Mike?" Dave asked, peppy.

_Damnit, Adam! _She knew he texted their dad since it would prompt him to call her, making her spill the news to him, too.

She gulped. "Um… good… and yeah… and he's well…"

"Fantastic!" Dave beamed, "I've been wanting to call him and see how he's doing but I haven't wanted to catch him while he's at work, you know?"

"Yeah…" Hannah said, trying to calm her nerves.

"Anyways, well I'm glad I caught you! Glad to hear your voice! I can't wait to see you again!" Dave sang.

She took a deep breath… _Ok… Just gotta do it…_

"Well… Christmas in Missouri might not be happening…" she said, trying to find the best possible entry to this topic, hoping it wouldn't cause an explosion in Missouri… "Because… Um… well… okay… I'm pregnant and I'm due in November…"

Silence.

Her eyes bulged. _Oh shit._

"Dad?"

"Oh honey…" Dave started, voice cracking, "That's wonderful! God almighty, I'm so happy for you! That's fantastic!"

Hannah frowned. Not exactly how she thought her dad would react to this.

"Yeah?" she asked, a little surprised.

"Oh sweetheart! That's absolutely amazing! Wow! November? Lord have mercy… I have goosebumps! I'm so happy for you!" Dave beamed, "And Mike? Praise God, I bet he's so proud. What a good man! I tell you what… Wow… Pregnant!"

Hannah smiled. "Yeah, he's really happy… we got to hear the heartbeat today."

"Heartbeat?" Dave bellowed incredulously, "Wow! I'm just… Honey… I'm speechless! God almighty, we're blessed! Wow! I can't believe it!"

She was relieved. Not one ounce of judgment or disappointment. She should have known. As full of love as her Dad was, of course this would be how he reacted. Her baby was going to have the most loving grandfather.

"Well, Dad, I'm almost back to work, so I've got to go," she said, happy and smiling.

"Okay, okay! Well, call me in a few days! Let me know what's going on! Send pictures and everything! I can't wait! I love you!" Dave beamed proudly.

"Okay," Hannah laughed, "Love you, too."

She finally hung up with him and stepped into the front doors of the school, trying to shake the happy smile off her face so no one would question it. Teachers had a knack for asking if someone was engaged or pregnant if they were too happy. And Hannah wasn't sure if she could lie to someone or say no without blushing. She wasn't ready for her school to know.

She tried to focus on teaching and getting through her day, hoping everything was going okay for Mike, hoping he wasn't stressing too much.

* * *

When Mike got home later however, he was sullen, exhausted, and near a breakdown, Hannah could feel it in the air.

The look on his face scared her. It looked like he was struggling to breath.

"Mike, what is it?" Hannah asked, scared, "Is everyone okay?"

Mike nodded, not meeting her gaze.

Hannah rose carefully from where she sat on the couch. Mike's eyes immediately went to her stomach. In sweatpants and an old college shirt that was tight through the waist, he could swear he saw a bump: a hint at his baby that she carried.

Taking a deep breath and faltering, he stumbled to her, arms thrown around her, shaking.

"Mike, what happened," Hannah said, holding him tightly.

His lips were against her hair, holding her as close as he could, close enough to feel the small bump of her stomach, the one she denied she had yet.

Claire was back… She'd walked straight into Ryan's apartment and he knew… as soon as Mike saw the ADA, he knew and he tried to apologize to Ryan… Ryan would never forgive him…

But he couldn't tell Hannah… She couldn't know about Claire. She couldn't know any more… She'd been too involved and he wanted to keep her out. He had to.

"Is Ryan okay?" she asked, worried.

Mike nodded. "It was Lily Gray… at the bakery… the broke Luke out of the hospital… they're gone…"

Hannah sighed. She knew how hard that was for him.

"I'm so sorry, Mike…" she said, feeling how much it had drained him, "Let's sit down…"

He solemnly agreed, letting her sit him on the couch, smoothing back his hair. He met her eyes, seeing her waiting, open, ready to hear everything he had to say.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this…" Mike said, shaking his head, "I just don't get it… How she does things like this… and… she's just gone..."

Hannah sighed. "You'll get her… Ryan will make sure…"

Mike scoffed. "That's just it… he said after this, after all this over, we'll have our lives back. The universe owes it to us…. That's just it, Hannah… I can't wait until all this is over. I have a life now… I can't… I can't let Lily Gray and Joe Carroll take that away from me… I can't miss this…"

His hand dropped to her stomach, feeling the small hardness of her stomach. She wouldn't have let him any other time and would've brushed his hand away but she let him stay there, knowing he needed this.

"I… I can't let them ruin my life… And this isn't just about me… there's you… my baby… Everything I do and every choice I make changes things for both of you…" Mike said, trying to even make it a solid thought, "I have to do what's best for all of us…"

Hannah swallowed. She knew he desperately wanted to be out of the Joe Carroll case… but she knew he couldn't… he was too invested… too focused and determined… and Lily Gray was another story.

"Once it's all over, you'll have your life back… But I know why you need to stay to get them…" Hannah said, trying to be reassuring, placing her hand over his on her stomach, "But until then… I got this… I can take care of everything here at home and with the baby… I know you have a lot on your plate…"

Mike sighed, squeezing her hand. "That's no excuse… It's easy now while you're still pregnant… but what about when the baby is here? What happens when you're getting up all those times at night and I'm not here to help? What happens when you're sick and you need me to take care of the baby? What happens when you don't know what to do and need me? What happens when I'm never home on time and you have to do everything yourself?"

He looked down, feeling guilty, not wanting to disappoint her but he knew it would happen. All those promises about being there for her and helping her take care of their baby… they were all well and good… but could he actually come through with any of them? Or would he always be a disappointment?

He sighed and she tried to think of something to say to make him feel better.

"Well…" she said, "Let's not worry about this now… let's see how the next few months go and then see what its like once they're here…"

Mike shrugged. "I guess… I hate my job sometimes…"

Hannah smiled. "I know you do… but you love it more than that…"

He smirked. "I love you more…"

He kissed her forehead and she blushed. As pregnant and in love with him as she was, she still wouldn't say it.

"I told Adam and my dad today…" she said, trying to lighten the mood.

Mike grinned. "Yeah? How'd that go?"

She shrugged, trying to brush it off. "Adam was skeptical… but my dad is thrilled. He can't wait."

He smiled. "I knew he'd feel that way. Your dad is happy about everything and he loves you so much."

Hannah almost added that he was going to be a great grandfather but she didn't… she didn't want to remind Mike that his dad wouldn't be a grandfather.

"And you still don't want to tell your mom yet?" Hannah asked cautiously. She rarely ever asked about his family.

Mike shrugged. "Not yet… She's going to take it kind've hard I think… and I don't know how she'd handle it just losing my dad…"

She nodded. She wasn't sure how Mrs. Weston would take hearing that her baby boy got some girl that he never mentioned pregnant.

"And you didn't want to tell Seth?" she asked, querying about the only brother he even liked.

Mike shrugged again. "Eh… I'd rather you get to meet him first. I know he'd like you."

Hannah scoffed. "_Oh this is my girlfriend, Hannah. Hannah's a teacher and lives in my building. And if you haven't noticed, I got her knocked up. Hannah, this is Seth." _

Mike laughed. "Well, it wouldn't happen exactly like that…"

She rolled her eyes. "Give me a break. That's exactly how it'll happen."

He smiled. "Anyways, he's coming into town in a few weeks and you'll get to meet him then."

Hannah glared. "Great… I have a few more weeks to get even bigger so it'll definitely be noticeable."

Mike smiled, pulling her against him. "Oh stop, you'll be fine. I promise."

She rolled her eyes but let him pull her closer.

"Now…" he said, "Since you are indeed 'knocked up,' as you like to say… maybe we should start talking names…"

Hannah's face fell. "Already?"

He smiled. "We have to name it at some point unless you want to keep calling it The Kid."

She rolled her eyes again. "Fine. Any suggestions?"

Mike beamed. He actually had quite a few…


	44. Chapter 44

"Well what do we want to start with first, girls names or boys names?" Mike asked excitedly, grinning.'

Hannah smirked, shrugging. "What do you want more?"

He thought about it. "Well… Every man dreams of a son… and a boy would be amazing… but a girl would be nice, too… I don't know… I'm happy either way… What about you?"

Hannah shrugged, twisting her hair around her finger. "Either way. Leaning more towards a boy… but I'll be okay with either, too."

Mike grinned. "Okay, so let's think of boys names first then!"

She rolled her eyes, smiling. "Ok… what've you got?"

He rubbed his hands together, leaning forward, getting serious. "Liam."

She frowned. "Liam? No. There are ten Liam's in first grade right now. Too popular."

He shrugged it off. "Okay… what about Wyatt?"

Hannah scoffed. "Are we in a country western movie? Wyatt, Texas Ranger? No, thanks."

"For the record, it was Walker, Texas Ranger, and it was a show," he said, frowning, "But valid point, moving on… um… Paul?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Paul… Nah, not feeling it."

Mike sighed. "I've run out of names already. You have anything?"

Hannah hadn't thought much about it, really. "Uhh… what about… Carson?"

"Nevada? No," he shot it down.

"Okay… umm…. How about…. Alex?" she suggested.

Mike snorted. "Not feeling that one, either… I don't think our kid would look like an Alex…"

She rolled her eyes. This was getting them nowhere. "What about… Noah?"

Mike thought about it. "Noah… It's hard not to imagine our kid born with a beard… but that one isn't the worst… Noah could maybe be a contender… We need one of those baby name books or something."

Hannah nodded. "Agreed… This isn't really getting us anywhere."

"Well…" Mike said, trying to be optimistic, "At least we have Noah…"

She sighed. "I don't really like that one anymore…"

Mike laughed. "If we ever pick a name, you're going to have a hard time committing to it until this kid is born."

She thought about arguing with him but she smiled. She'd have a hard time committing to a name when her baby was still faceless to her.

"Should we try girl names?" Mike asked, not sure if they'd have the same issues.

Hannah sighed. "We may as well… couldn't hurt, right? We can shoot some down before we dig into that book."

He smiled. "Okay… how about… um… Olivia?"

Hannah winced. "The only Olivia I know of is the mouse in a story I read to my kids every year."

Mike smirked. "Then definitely not…"

"What about Allison?" Hannah suggested, "Addison… Abigail?"

"No to Allison, no to Addison, maybe yeah Abigail…" Mike said, thinking about it, "Abigail isn't bad… Abigail… Abbie… No… not bad at all!"

"Ok… then Abigail had made it onto the list," Hannah said, getting up and getting an old piece of mail to write on the back of, "Abigail is the front runner…"

Mike turned, arm on the back of the couch. "And still nothing for boys… should we try middle names?"

Hannah's eyes widened. "Let's try and figure out first names, okay? Let's make this easy on ourselves!"

He smiled, watching her set down her running list of only one name and return to the couch. "First name will probably be the hardest… middle won't be so bad… last will be the easiest."

"Oh?" she asked. She'd worried about how they would settle the last name issue. Would they hyphenate? Would he let her name their baby Evans like her? Would he fight for them to be a Weston? Would he even care?

"Yeah," Mike said, "Last name will be easy. Weston. End of discussion. Add it to the list and circle it. Done."

Hannah sat down, trying not to argue. "You're sure about that?

Mike nodded, frowning. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "It make everything very permanent… you know… in case you ever change your mind… it makes things harder…"

He glared. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm just saying," she said, trying to lighten the air, "If our kid has your last name… and you ever decide to… I don't know… be with someone else… get married one day, you'd be stuck to this kid… you know… child support… all that… If we kept the name as Evans… you wouldn't have to be legally bound… I'm just saying it could keep your options open…"

Mike tried to rationalize any way that she was thinking and he just couldn't relate.

"Hannah," he said calmly, "I'm not going anywhere… I'm not changing my mind… Yes, this is permanent. You, me, and our baby. It's permanent… And if anything ever happened with us, which it wouldn't be by my choice… if you wanted to be with someone else or get married one day… I'd still want my kid to be mine… I'd still want that… That wouldn't change."

She wrinkled her nose. She hadn't really considered the three of them to be permanent, more of staying together because that's how they were now. She liked being with Mike and didn't think of anything else… but she didn't realize that it was indeed permanent… forever….

She sighed. "I'm not planning on things changing… I just want you to be sure…"

He smiled, kissing her nose. "I'm sure… I want our baby to have my last name. I want them to be a Weston."

He didn't add that it wouldn't be only his last name if he had anything to do with it. He didn't add that he wanted her to be a Weston one day, too. He knew it'd freak her out or make her think that he was only saying that because she was pregnant.

He'd broach that subject another time.

"Okay…" she sighed, trying to let it sink in, "They'll be a Weston. I suppose I'll let you have that."

He smiled, kissing her. "Thanks…"

"Maybe we should wait until we know if it's a boy or a girl before we try and pick names again…" she suggested, already feeling tired from not being able to find one they actually even kind of liked.

Mike chuckled. "It may be easier, huh? Or at least we'll wait until we get some of those books!"

Hannah smiled. "Deal… We'll figure it out."

He leaned and kissed her shoulder. "Yes, we will…"


	45. Chapter 45

Five weeks passed faster than either of them had thought and in another week, they'd finally know if she was having a boy or a girl.

Mike was already bouncing with excitement. They still hadn't pick a name and the last time they'd tried, it hadn't gone as planned.

They'd been so busy between work and, well, work to even have barely any time together.

Hannah was nervous all day… Mike's brother was in town and Mike scheduled dinner with him. Hannah offered to cook but he insisted that they'd go out. She was anxious to meet him… and especially broach the subject that she was pregnant….

It gave her goosebumps and she wondered if she could feign sickness to get out of it.

"Hey," Mike said, rushed from the door, dropping his keys on the end table, "Almost ready?"

He tossed down his bag and headed towards the bedroom to put on a new shirt. He'd almost moved all his things in to her apartment except his furniture. They still hadn't discussed what would happen with his place… if he would sell it and they'd actually live together… or get a new place together… Mike had been careful to only handle one situation at a time.

And so far, Hannah was handling being pregnant much better than he'd anticipated. She'd started to get just a little bit bigger, only a little more noticeable, and finally told her principal that she'd be taking maternity leave in November, to which he responded better than she'd thought.

He knew she was anxious about meeting Seth, though….

"Yeah, um… I'm ready…" she said from the kitchen, gulping, "You sure you want me to come?"

"YES!" Mike shouted from the bedroom, "I really want you to meet him!"

Hannah sighed. "And you didn't tell him I'm pregnant?"

He came out of the bedroom, pulling his shirt down. "No… not yet… I did tell him I'm bringing my girlfriend though…"

She winced. "Great… just going to drop the bomb on him, huh?"

He shrugged. "It won't be that bad, I promise."

She frowned. "Okay…"

He grinned, kissing her. "You'll be fine, let's go."

She smoothed down her dress. Her pants didn't really fit anymore but the dress made it quite noticeable with even the small bump she had, that she was pregnant.

Mike held her hand all the way to the restaurant, feeling her nerves get stronger. She was definitely worried and he didn't blame her. As much as he knew this wouldn't be a big deal, he knew that she was nervous to meet his brother and for them to drop the bomb that she was pregnant.

She tried to watch the ground as they walked, trying to distract herself, rather than look at the faces walking by and wondering if any of them were Seth.

Her heart was pounding and she mentally apologized to her baby for the spike in her blood pressure. She was sure if she could feel them moving, they'd kick her to tell her to knock it off. This would be okay.

"Seth!" Mike called and Hannah looked up, gripping Mike's hand.

He let go of her hand and hugged his brother while Hannah got a good look at him.

Same height as Mike, shoulders more broad, hair shorter, eyes more green than blue. Same smile.

And Mike… he looked genuinely happy. So happy that it made her smile.

"Seth, this is Hannah… Hannah, this is my brother Seth," Mike said, grinning.

She smiled, trying not to show anything was wrong. "Hi, how are you?"

Seth smiled, shaking her hand. "Well, thank you!"

Mike looked at her to wink that "see! Everything is fine!" She still didn't feel like it though.

Seth smiled at her approvingly. He hadn't seen Mike with a girlfriend in a long time. He was actually quite proud. Mike had gotten himself a fine looking woman. He was a little bit jealous of his younger brother.

He draped his hand around her waist, along her hip pulling her close, Seth's eyes catching the motion and glancing at her stomach and she saw his reaction when he saw. He looked up at her and she tried to look away, tried to avoid it.

Mike, however, hadn't noticed. "Let's get a table."

Seth nodded, glancing at Hannah as she tried to smile and not be too obvious that she was freaking out.

On the way to the table, Seth tried to catch Mike's eye to ask him but Mike never noticed, guiding them towards the table. Hannah, however, definitely saw it and didn't want to be there for that conversation. She didn't really want to her Seth's disappointment or pity that Mike had gotten himself into this situation.

"I'll be in the restroom, excuse me," she said, hurrying herself away as fast as she could. Seth surely seemed nice… but this was about to get very awkward and uncomfortable for her.

When she was out of sight, Seth turned to Mike, who was glancing over the menu.

"So… Hannah, right?" Seth asked, nonchalantly, making sure she was out of earshot.

"Yeah," Mike smiled, "Hannah."

Seth knew he only had a few minutes before Hannah got back from the restroom so he knew he had to figure this out fast.

"Okay…" Seth said, taking Mike's menu from him to he wouldn't be distracted, "Tell me. Is she pregnant or not?"

Mike froze. He expected to tell Seth on his own… not for him to figure it out….

"How did…"

"So she is pregnant then…" Seth said, trying to gauge the situation, "Was this planned?"

Mike smiled, shaking his head. "No, not at all… actually the last thing we planned on… but we're having a baby together… We've been pretty happy about it."

Seth smiled. "Wow… well… congratulations, man… She's gorgeous… Good for you… I'm a little mad you didn't tell me."

Mike smiled. "It would've been harder to explain, figured it be better this way."

Seth shrugged. "Yeah… the whole "Hey I have a girlfriend and by the way, she's pregnant" would've been a little shocking… When are you going to tell mom?"

Mike shook his head. "I have no idea… I know she's been having a hard time… I don't want to make it worse for her…"

Seth nodded. "Probably for the best… you know what you're having yet?"

Mike shook his head.

"We'll find out next week," Hannah said, coming back to the table, a little more relieved once she heard that Seth knew and that an explosion hadn't resulted.

Seth smiled. "That's awesome. Congratulations."

Hannah smiled, taking her seat next to Mike. "Thanks."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek and she blushed. Seth smiled.

"So, any names yet?" Seth asked, picking what he wanted from the menu.

She scoffed. "Not at all… apparently this is a lot harder when you have a kid unexpectedly. People who plan this usually have five or ten names picked out to begin with."

Seth laughed. "Good thing you haven't told mom yet, she'd have a whole list ready for you. Anne, Marie, Christine. You know she's named almost all of the kids, right? All of Eddie and Andrew's kids…"

Hannah's eyes widened. She was definitely glad they didn't tell Mike's mom yet. That'd be the hardest person to tell, yet!

Mike shrugged. "Maybe we'll tell her when we know what we're having…"

Seth nodded. "She may receive that news better… make it more tangible for her. But she may want you to name them after dad…"

Hannah watched Mike's reaction from the corner of her eye. She'd been waiting for him to suggest the name Richard for his dad but he hadn't.

Mike nodded his head. "She won't suggest that… I'm sure she thinks that I'm responsible for what happened…"

Seth sighed. "That wasn't your fault…"

Hannah watched Seth glare at his brother chastisingly but Mike looked away. Hannah felt uncomfortable being there and wished she could excuse herself again.

Their food arrived and Seth changed the subject once again. Hannah was grateful of that.

She smiled and he winked at her in a way the she decided all the Weston men must.

She noticed how Seth steered the conversation in a way that made Mike feel better, bringing it back to their baby. Seth could see how happy Mike was about it and let him ramble and grin.

Mike told him all about the sonogram and the ultrasound and hearing the baby's heartbeat. He told him how excited he was to find out if it was a girl or a boy.

Seth smiled, hanging on every word, watching Mike rest his hand on Hannah's stomach as he talked.

"And how are you hanging in there, Hannah?" Seth asked, wondering if she was as thrilled as Mike was.

She shrugged, smiling. "Getting used to it."

Seth smiled. "You were surprised?"

She scoffed. "Surprised isn't even the half of it. Kids were the last thing on my mind."

"Well, don't worry. Westons make cute kids," Seth winked.

She smiled. "Looks like you all have good genes."

Both Mike and Seth beamed and she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Man," Seth said, realizing, "When did you say you were due?"

"November," Hannah said, wondering what he realized.

"Damn," Seth said, hitting his fist on the table, "You get out of Thanksgiving now! Shit… I need to find an excuse…"

Mike chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm sure I'll still be there in conversation. Can't wait to hear what Eddie and Andrew have to say about this."

"Oh that you got your girlfriend pregnant? Travesty! You didn't get married first! Abomination!" Seth snickered, "You didn't have the decency to marry her right away? Outrageous!"

Mike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'll be happy to avoid Thanksgiving."

Seth shook his head. "Now I'm very jealous. Hannah, can I come visit for Thanksgiving?"

She laughed. "Sure?"

"I like her," Seth told Mike, "She's okay with me."

Mike chuckled. "Thanks."

When dessert came, they were already talking about work: Mike's job, her job, Seth's job, jobs, jobs, jobs. Hannah was relieved that Seth took the news of her being pregnant well. She was hoping it wouldn't be bad, but she wasn't sure what she could've expected from him.

In all, he was a lot like Mike… especially in the way he smiled. She decided she liked that best.

"Was that really so awful?" Mike asked, opening the door for her at her apartment after they'd said goodbye to Seth.

She shrugged. "I guess not that bad…"

He smiled. "Told you. Go look in my bag."

Mike locked the door behind them and she went to his bag, opening it and looking through it.

"What am I looking for?" Hannah asked, sorting through case files and photographs she didn't want to look at.

"All the way in the back," Mike said, kicking off his shoes by the front door.

She pulled out three magazines and two books: all about choosing the perfect name for your baby.

She grinned. "When did you get these?"

Mike smiled sheepishly. "On the way home from work today. I figured maybe we can get a few names going for when we find out next week."

Hannah smiled, flipping through them. "That works for me."

She sat on the couch, taking a magazine first. "Do we want to start with boys or girls this time?"

Mike grabbed the old piece envelope with the only name they had so far: Abigail.

"Let's go with boys first…" he said, grabbing the other magazine.

"Alan?" she asked.

"No," Mike said, "Brent?"

"Favre?" she asked, "Colin."

"Ferrell? And no, it's Brett Favre, not Brent," Mike said, rolling his eyes.

She shrugged, not caring. "Austin?"

"Not bad, add it to the list," he said, "Aiden?"

Hannah wrinkled her nose. "No… Connor?"

He thought. "Don't hate it. Add it."

"Cooper?" Hannah suggested.

"Definitely not… Parker?" he asked.

"Nah. Miles?" she tossed up.

Mike considered it. "Quite possibly. Add that one, too."

"Nicholas?"

"Actually not a bad one… you're on a roll… what've we got so far?" he asked, glancing over from his magazine.

She grabbed the envelope she'd been writing on. "Austin, Connor, Miles, and Nicholas."

Mike thought. "Add Matthew… that one's not so bad…"

"Okay," she said, closing her magazine, "Let's narrow down these ones… Austin Weston?"

Mike wrinkled his nose. "Now that you put it that way, it sounds awful… The endings match too well. Connor Weston?"

She nodded. "A good contender… Miles Weston, Nicholas Weston, and Matthew Weston."

Mike thought. "Those all work for me…"

Hannah glanced over at him. "You didn't want to add Richard?"

Mike swallowed. "No… I don't…"

She sighed. "It wasn't your fault, Mike… it'd be okay if you wanted to give our kid your dad's name…"

Mike shook his head, getting quiet, setting the magazine on the coffee table. "I don't want to name our baby anything that has to do with all of this… I'd considered Debra… even Ryan as parts of our baby's name… but I don't want to associate any of this with them… Our kid doesn't need to be tied to this… They don't need that burden… And… I'd feel too guilty using my dad's name… Like I was trying to make it up to the universe some how… I got my dad killed but am naming my kid after him…"

Hannah leaned on his shoulder. "It can be however you want it… if you want that name, we can have it…"

He shook his head. "No… There are better ways to remember people… I want our kid to grow up free of all this… not be a reminder of what happened…"

She nodded. "Okay… so… we're still at Connor, Miles, Nicholas, or Matthew."

He smiled, imagining a son and trying to decide what he'd look like.

"Hmm…" she mused, "Maybe we can use one as a middle name for another?"

Mike smiled. "I actually… Can I pick the middle name?"

She smirked. "What were you thinking?"

He grinned, looking down. "Emerson…"

Hannah smiled. "Your middle name?"

He nodded, still smiling. "And my dad's…"

She leaned over and kissed him. "I like it."

She knew why he didn't want to use Richard's name… but she was proud of him that he still wanted to involve his family and his dad with their baby's name. She was 100% okay with it and rather happy about it. She was happy he was taking this much interest in their baby.

"Okay, well let's see… Connor Emerson Weston?" she asked, putting it all together.

Mike nodded. "Yep… still like it. Miles Emerson Weston?"

Hannah grinned. "I love that one. Nicholas Emerson Weston?"

Mike shrugged. "That one is a little long… We can nix that one…"

"Okay," Hannah said, crossing it off the list, "And last but not least, Matthew Emerson Weston."

Mike grinned. "I like that one, too… dang… so we still have three? Connor, Miles, and Matthew?"

Hannah smiled. "Yep… We don't have to narrow them down all the way now… We still have a few months… I like all three of those."

"Okay," Mike said, happy that they had three names they both loved if they were going to have a boy. "And what if it's a girl…?"

Hannah checked their list. "We have Abigail…"

Mike grabbed his magazine again, ready for round two of the name choosing. "Mia?"

"Mama Mia?" Hannah scoffed, "Nah… Zoe?"

Mike shook his head. "Mackenzie?"

"Ick, let's not make her a cheerleader already," Hannah said, rolling her eyes, "Kaitlyn."

"Not bad. Add it," Mike said, "Sophie?"

"We're not French," Hannah scoffed, "Aubrey?"

"Don't love it, don't hate it," Mike offered, "Violet?"

"Like the color?" Hannah asked, perplexed.

"Yeah… Violet…" Mike said, standing his ground, "I actually like that one."

She shrugged. "Add it then… Savannah?"

Mike frowned. "Any city name with Weston sounds like a direction or a map. No. Julia?"

Hannah shook her head. "No… Geez. Girl names are a lot harder to figure out…

"No kidding," Mike said, glancing over at the list, "What do we have so far?"

She picked up the envelope. "Abigail, Aubrey, Kaitlyn, and Violet."

"First step in the process, adding the last name… Abigail Weston," he tried out, "Not so bad. Aubrey Weston…"

Hannah wrinkled her nose. "I like Abigail better than Aubrey."

Mike nodded. "Aubrey's out… Kaitlyn Weston?"

She shrugged. "Sounds okay… Violet Weston?"

Mike grinned. "I like that one. So we've narrowed it down to Abigail, Kaitlyn, and Violet."

She nodded. "Middle name?"

"Deanna?" Mike offered, "For your mom?"

Hannah thought for a second… it'd never crossed her mind… She shook her head. "Like you said… there's better ways to remember someone…"

Mike nodded. "Could I suggest Emerson?"

She smiled. "For a girl's middle name?"

He grinned. "Yeah… Abigail Emerson Weston… it works."

"I suppose it does," she grinned, "Kaitlyn Emerson Weston…"

He shrugged. "I like Abigail better than Kaitlyn, I think… Violet Emerson Weston…"

She laughed. "You're seriously running with this whole Violet thing, huh?"

Mike smiled. "So… Abigail, Kaitlyn, or Violet for a girl…"

"Connor, Miles, or Matthew for a boy," Hannah finished, "We'll narrow it down more later… or come up with new names entirely!"

He leaned over and kissed her. "Any of those work for me. I'm very happy with any of them."

She smiled and he touched her stomach. "I guess we'll only be able to focus on one group of names or the other after next week…"

She nodded. "It's going to be weird knowing exactly what it'll be… Until now, it's just been 'the baby' or 'the kid'… Calling them he or she and picking out their name will be weird…"

Mike smiled, wondering how something so tiny in her stomach could be so decisively a boy or a girl. "It's an experience, that's for sure… Thank you for doing this with me…"

Hannah frowned. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged, smirking, hand still on her stomach, thinking about his baby. "You didn't have to stay with me… you didn't even have to stay pregnant… you could've… you know… if you wanted to… you could've left me and done this on your own… But you didn't… you stayed… and I know that means a lot for you… I'm happy you're doing this with me… and letting me do this with you…"

She smiled. "I know… this is a big deal… And thank you…"

He kissed her, relieved that she did admit that this was a big thing for them.

Hannah got up, pulling his hand as she did it. "Shower?"

Mike grinned, already getting up. "You don't have to ask me twice."


	46. Chapter 46

He flipped off the lights as he followed her to the bedroom, wondering how on Earth he'd gotten so lucky.

She turned on the shower and he unzipped her dress for her, watching her smile at him in the mirror. He considered mentioning that maybe he should sell his apartment but he didn't… Hannah moved at her own pace and he wouldn't rush her… she, so far, had risen to everything he wanted. She was even comfortable with the titles they had.

Her dress fell to the floor and he kissed her shoulder. "I love you… so much…"

She smiled, turning and pulling his shirt over his head. "I know…"

He touched her hair as she worked on his jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping, still amazed at how he'd gotten so lucky.

They peeled off everything else they had and stepped into the shower together, him letting her soak in the warmth first. She always turned the shower on hot, scorching her skin for just a moment, and then cooling it down just a little bit for him.

She moved out of the way and let him into the water, his hands snaking around her waist and keeping her under the spray with him, kissing her. Her wet hair snaked onto his shoulder, sticking to him.

"I love you, Hannah," he whispered, forehead against hers.

She smiled, hands sliding up around his neck, pressing the long line of her body against his, closing her eyes.

When she wasn't looking, he could look at her however he wanted, for as long as he wanted, able to stare and not have her whine that he promised not to give her that look anymore.

But he absolutely adored her. Every curve and smooth expanse of skin. She was perfect. And all his.

He could feel the small hardness of her belly against his and he grinned, closing his eyes. Sometimes he even forgot she was pregnant…

Pregnant with his child.

The thought took him above and beyond for her.

_Pregnant._ She'd been terrified, but she stayed with him, showing him more trust than she ever had, giving him more than she had. Carrying their baby and committing to it.

_His._ The baby she carried was his. He was so proud... So amazed. That that little thing... The thing that would soon be a kicking baby... Was his...

_Child._ He'd have a baby soon... A little one to rock to sleep, to hold, to feed, to squeeze his finger, and fall asleep on his chest. As much love as he had for Hannah, he knew it'd be nothing compared to love he felt for his baby the first time he held them.

Hannah exhaled against his neck and he pulled her closer. He was so in love with her, so happy that he had her, so happy that they were having a baby… Now he knew how Dave could be so full of love, so bursting with love for his family… Now Mike knew… he had his own family now…

With Hannah and their baby.

"Whatcha thinking about, Boy Scout?" Hannah asked, looking up him.

He smiled, kissing her. "Nothing… Just how much I love you."

She smiled and kissed him back, pulling him back with her against the shower wall.

Mike grinned. "We won't be able to do this for much longer…"

Hannah rolled her eyes, not wanting to think about how big she was still going to get.

His lips dropped to her neck, kissing, tongue dancing along her skin. She shivered despite the hot water and pulled him closer.

He kissed along her neck, her collarbone to her shoulder, and down her chest, her hand at the back of his head, fingers in his hair. He could feel the vibrations in her chest when she moaned, head falling to the side.

Her hands slid down his chest to his stomach, pulling him closer against her, already feeling the hardness of him against her. She bit his lip gently, a groan erupting from deep in his throat.

His lips were behind her ear, hand trailing down her side to her hip, down to her thigh, already lifting her up. Her hands returned to his shoulders, helping him.

They both exhaled as he slid into her, her back bowing, gasping, fingers digging into his skin. His forehead rested against the side of her neck, shivering, there was no one else he fit together with this well.

He moved gently, careful and cautious, wanting to be easy. He was careful to keep his hips away from her but she groaned and pulled him closer.

He planted a hand on her hip, determined to keep her farther away, though he longed for the feel of her pressed hard between him and the wall.

"Mike, I won't break…" she groaned, eyes hazy.

He smirked, continuing, gentle, kissing her. She continued to pull him closer, her hips seeking his.

"Mike, _please_…," she whined, hands at his neck. He couldn't stand to hear her beg… but he wouldn't do it… What if it wasn't safe? What if he hurt their baby?

He shook his head, pressing harder against her but still not completely. "No…"

"It's safe, I promise," she said coaxed, hands on his shoulders to steady herself, "Please…"

She pressed her chest against his and he groaned, her hands sliding along his neck. He wanted to give in, wanted to go as hard as he wanted, as hard as she wanted… But he couldn't.

"Mike…" she gasped, the desperation in her voice.

So he settled for somewhere in between, hard but not touching her, fast but keeping her balanced.

She groaned, finally getting what she wanted, head thrown back, arms holding him close.

He felt her shake, finally satisfied and finally content, pulling her closer and finding the rhythm that would finish him as well.

She buried her face in his neck and nipped his skin, making him groan and hold her tight, legs trembling and head spinning, finally spent, but still holding her up.

When he regained his breathing, he set her down carefully, meeting her still lust filled eyes.

He smiled, wiping wet hair away from her face, cupping her jaw and kissing her. She always seemed so carefree, so happy. Even pregnant and trying to get used to the idea, she was happy, eyes sparkling at him.

He was so proud… so bursting with happiness. As much love as he felt right then, he couldn't even imagine how much he'd love their baby. The thought was intangible to him, how he could even survive feeling more than this much love for someone else.

He met her eyes, knowing he could never fully explain to her how much he loved her, how much he appreciated her… How he couldn't wait to meet their baby for the first time.

He kissed her gently. "I love you so much…"

She grinned as his hands trailed down to her waist, feeling her expanding belly, her hand along his scuffy, wet chin. "I feel the same way…"


	47. Chapter 47

Mike sat between Max and Claire awkwardly. He felt uncomfortable and even more mad that Ryan had gone after Joe on his own…

After the abduction at the frat house, he should've never let Ryan out of his sight. He was fuming. Max and Claire were equally angry.

He called Hannah on the way to the University but he hadn't spoken to her really since. Now, here he was trying to handle Ryan's niece face to face with his ex lover. Both women looked equally uncomfortable.

Once the women found out that Ryan had gone after Joe, Max started trying to search for him in any way that he could and Claire watched, angry that Ryan first ditched her and then Mike. She was furious.

They'd been up all night looking but no avail. Ryan had ditched his phone and there was no way to trace him. Max started trying to pinpoint an area and other cults that he was driving towards but still nothing.

Mike was tired. He hadn't slept all night. He texted Hannah once saying that he was staying at Ryan's and he didn't know when he'd be back. He tried to stay as focused as possible. He wasn't going to let Ryan martyr himself to kill Joe Carroll.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Both women glanced at him, hoping maybe it was Ryan. He rubbed between his eyes.

He shook his head. It was Hannah.

"_Appointment is in 30 minutes at the hospital… Want me to call with the news or text you?"_ Hannah texted.

Mike frowned… what appointment?

SHIT!

He groaned. This was the 16th week appointment… This was the one where Dr. Stewart would tell them if they were having a boy or a girl!

Mike stiffened. He was about to bolt from his chair and run to the hospital if he needed to… But Ryan was still out of touch… What if Ryan called and he wasn't there? Hannah already seemed like she planned on him missing it…

"What is it?" Claire asked, noticing him thinking too hard, frowning.

"I'm uh… I forgot about an appointment…" he said, still staring at his phone, trying to gauge what to do. If it was any other day, even if Joe Carroll was right in front of him, he would've gone… but Ryan was MIA… And could very well get himself killed.

"Is it one of Hannah's appointments?" Max asked, not looking away from her computer screen.

"Yeah…" Mike said, feeling guilty, already making up his mind to try and get there.

Claire frowned. She'd been gone so long she'd missed so much…

Mike turned to her, turning red. "My girlfriend is pregnant… This is the appointment when we find out if it's a girl or boy…"

Claire lit up. "Congratulations! What are you still doing here? Go!"

Mike smiled sheepishly, looking to Max.

She waved her hand, not looking at him. "We'll call you if anything changes."

He nodded, turning back to Claire.

"Go!" she laughed, "Seriously. You don't want to miss this!"

Mike grinned, jumping up from his chair, grabbing his coat on the way, hailing a cab as soon as he got outside.

"Hey," Mike said breathlessly, calling Hannah, "Are you there already?"

"Yeah," she said, "I just got here. Listen, do you want me to reschedule for next week? We can wait…"

Mike shook his head. "No… I'm on my way. Ten minutes… I promise…"

He knew he was more like twenty minutes away.

Hannah chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Okay then… Well, I'll try and stall them."

Mike laughed. "Thanks. See you soon!"

He hung up and willed the cab to go faster, to avoid all the traffic. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten about the appointment. He could've kicked himself. He was so excited about this one.

He grinned. In twenty minutes, he'd know if they were having a boy or a girl… They could finally pick a name… they could really start planning… He could really start thinking about himself as a father…

He started to mentally prepare for either option… A boy would be great. Someone to rough house with and play silly games. Teach them all kinds of different things… A boy he'd dress just like him. A boy who he'd teach to love his mother and be kind to others. A son who would grow up to make him proud, honest and sincere.

But then a girl… now, that wasn't his first choice… but if it was a girl… he'd need to prepare himself to not seem disappointed. A girl would be special… He'd spoil her rotten… He'd teach her how to punch and how to play every sport he knew. He'd have to learn how to braid hair and play ponies. He'd have to figure out how to read books in a way that his daughter loved.

Either way… he knew he would be happy. He couldn't wait to find out.

Mike checked his watch. Hannah's appointment started five minutes ago. He was hoping Dr. Stewart was running late or maybe Hannah had a bunch of questions to stall her with so he could get there.

When the cab pulled up in front of the hospital, Mike threw money at the driver, checking his watch again. It was now fifteen minutes after the appointment started.

He ran towards the front doors, hoping he'd burst into the exam room right before Dr. Stewart told her. He wanted to be there.

He jumped into the elevator, wishing he could rocket it upstairs.

"Mike!" Hannah called from the lobby before the doors closed. Mike rushed out, quickly apologizing to the people he bumped into.

"Hey, what happened? Did you reschedule?" he asked, confused.

She shook her head, frowning. "No… you told me not to…"

His heart fell. "You already had the appointment?"

She nodded, turning red. "I really thought you'd make it… I'm sorry… It went so fast…"

Mike swallowed hard. He'd missed it. The first big thing… and he'd missed it…

Hannah smiled, hating how much this hurt him… but excited to tell him.

"Do you want to know?" she asked, grinning, tucking hair behind her ears.

He saw the look on her face and it erased any regret he had about missing the appointment. All hadn't been lost.

He beamed, she looked so happy. Was that a sign? What did she really want, a girl or a boy? Was there a hint?

"Come on," she said, grabbing his hand and leading him outside to a bench under a tree.

"What do you think it is?" she asked, smiling and giddy, trying to bite her lip to keep calm.

Mike laughed breathlessly. "I don't know! Tell me!"

She put his hands on her stomach and he took a deep breath.

He imagined a boy. Maybe he'd look like Mike as a little kid… blonde hair and blue eyes. Jeans and Chuck Taylors… Always jumping off something. Falling asleep in the car on the way home from a baseball game. Laughing and dripping melted popsicles all over the house.

He imagined a girl. Maybe she'd look like Hannah as a kid… brown hair in a ponytail, maybe curlier than Hannah's, and bright blue eyes, giggling uncontrollably… Always asking for a piggy back ride. Falling asleep before the end of her story. Snuggling up in her daddy's lap to watch fireworks on the Fourth of July…

Hannah grinned, feeling Mike's hands on her stomach, already knowing what kind of child they were going to raise.

She met his eyes, hoping he'd be as happy as she was. "Girl."

Mike's eyes widened and he grinned. A girl. She was going to be absolutely gorgeous, adorable from the first moment he'd set eyes on her.

"Really?" he grinned, face already hurting from how hard he was smiling.

Hannah nodded. "I know we kind've wanted a boy but…"

"A girl…" Mike repeated, looking at Hannah's bump under his hands, "I almost couldn't imagine anything else… A girl…"

He looked up at Hannah and she was grinning. "I know this all happened suddenly… and this really wasn't what we planned at all… But…"

Mike smiled, tucking his hand behind her ear and kissing her. "I know…"

She scoffed, still smirking. "You know what? I didn't finish what I was saying."

He kissed her again. "That this seems perfect now? That you're as happy as I am? That you're thrilled?"

She wrinkled her nose. He was right on all accounts but she wouldn't admit it. "I was going to say… thank you for being so supportive… I know as much as we didn't plan this… I'm happy that you're looking forward to it."

He smiled. He knew she'd never give him the satisfaction of telling him that he was right.

He kissed her again. "So they're sure it's a girl?"

Hannah nodded, pulling an ultrasound picture from her purse. "You can't tell on this picture, but I had Dr. Stewart print one for you anyways. I know you like this stuff."

Mike grinned, taking the picture, his now asexual baby was a girl. He tried to see feminine features amid a cloud of sepia.

"A girl…" Mike repeated again, "That's just… Wow… That only seems right… Saying we're having a boy doesn't feel right… We're having a girl… Oh shit… we're having a girl… I'm going to be outnumbered!"

Hannah giggled. "We'd better work on your dress up skills."

Mike smiled. He couldn't wait. He couldn't wait to carry their new daughter everywhere they went… To play dress up and ponies… To brush her hair after her bath. He'd have no qualms about singing Disney songs with her or letting her put make up on him.

If she took at all after Hannah, she'd be gorgeous and independent. Probably a fully functioning five year old who acted like she was seventeen. She'd probably be called bossy in kindergarten.

If she took a little bit after him, she'd be sensitive and understanding. She'd always include everyone in her games. She'd want to read to him and Hannah if they weren't feeling well. She'd be considerate and would love to snuggle and watch movies.

"We can decide on a name now!" Mike said, realizing that they could cut all the boy names from their list.

Hannah smiled. "Exactly. It'll be a lot easier now. And especially since you've already staked your claims on her middle and last names!"

He smiled, hearing Hannah say 'her.' He met her eyes. "You're really okay with her last name being Weston? We have plenty of time to decide…"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "It's been settled… She's your kid, too… She'll have your last name… and middle name…"

He leaned over and kissed her, unable to keep from smiling. "I'd say you can pick her first name but I'm not willing to give you all the power on that one."

She scoffed. "Figures… I'm sure we'll pick the perfect one. We're down to… Abigail, Kaitlyn, and Violet."

Mike considered them, thinking about how Hannah looked in the pictures of her as a kid. "Abigail or Violet, definitely. I'm not really liking Kaitlyn anymore."

She smiled. "Okay, done… Abigail or Violet… Let's hold off on really picking one… I have a feeling we'll pick one and then I'll want the other."

He scoffed. "I know you will. We'll wait on it."

Mike looked back at the ultrasound picture and got even more excited. He couldn't wait to meet his daughter. A girl… He thought he wanted a boy… but hearing that it was a girl made him happier than he thought he'd be. He was thrilled.

He imagined what life would be like with a baby, but now he could imagine her bigger… A toddler tucked in Hannah's lap while she graded papers. Pulling on his hand and asking for ice cream. Wanting to hear her favorite story one more time.

"Are you going back to work?" Hannah asked, checking her watch. She had to go back to school and knew Mike was on something important. He'd missed the appointment for it.

"I should…" Mike said, wishing he could tell Hannah about Claire and Max and Ryan running off after Joe… but he didn't want to ruin her day… and he didn't want to burden her with the knowledge that Claire was alive.

She nodded. "Okay… will you be home later tonight?"

He sighed. If he heard from Ryan, he'd be on the way to him in a split second… If he didn't hear from Ryan, he'd be waiting at his apartment until he did.

"I don't know…" Mike said, trying not to make her worry, "I'm waiting on Ryan… He went after Joe Carroll on his own…"

Hannah winced, knowing exactly why Mike was worried. "Okay… well… keep me posted."

He nodded, kissing her. "I will. I love you."

He headed back to Ryan's apartment, watching her walk the opposite direction. He tried not to think about how mad or worried he was yet, but instead tried to think about his baby. A little girl with Hannah's smile and his laugh.


	48. Epilogue

Epilogue

Mike opened the door, hearing laughing and giggling coming from the kitchen. The same sound that welcomed him every day. He grinned. Hannah and Abbie were always playing a game or laughing at something silly.

Abbie was her mother's daughter. She was almost three.

She came running around the corner and he scooped her up as she shrieked with laughter, tickling her and getting a warm kiss, his cheeks between her hands. He carried her back to the kitchen and kissed Hannah who stirred something on the stove.

"Hey," Hannah smiled, "How was work?"

Mike shrugged, his attention still on Abbie. "Mostly paperwork."

He sat down at the breakfast bar with Abbie in his lap, tickling her and making her giggle.

Hannah smiled and started pulling out dishes to set the table, watching Mike play with Abbie. No matter how hard of a day she'd had, it was always better once she picked Abbie up from daycare. It was even better when she got to see Mike greet their daughter. He absolutely loved being her dad.

He'd been such a trooper, a true boy scout. He'd never winced away from a dirty diaper, always volunteered to get up in the middle of the night with her, took her on Saturday mornings so Hannah could sleep in just a little bit longer.

They'd been so scared when she found out she was pregnant… but this had only been right. Having Abbie was incredible. Hannah fell in love with Mike so much more because of her, every little moment when she was pregnant made her love him more… and when Abbie was born, it almost made her burst with love for him.

When they found out that they were having a girl, he'd been so much more affectionate and doting. He kissed her every chance he'd gotten and touched her stomach even more so. He was so thrilled to become a father to their little girl. He couldn't wait to hold her. Hannah loved how excited he was.

The first time Mike felt her kick, she almost broke down. He was so excited, so thrilled. Every night he came home after that, he felt her belly to see if his girl was kicking again.

And finally, when she was two weeks from her due date, she told him what she'd known for a long time.

* * *

"_I can't believe Abbie will be here in two weeks…" he murmured, her belly between his hands. She was so big that he even felt how uncomfortable she'd gotten._

_She nodded. " I know… It's hard to remember what I'm like without a belly."_

_Mike smiled, leaning down and kissing it. "I love it… I love being able to kiss you and feel Abbie rolling around at the same time. I can't wait to hold her…"_

_Hannah smiled. "Me, too… You're sure we have everything?"_

_He glanced around the apartment. Her friends had thrown her a baby shower and they were up to their eyeballs in baby products. "Crib, changing tables, enough clothes and diapers to last us through next year… We're good to go… Just gotta get her here…"_

_Her smile fell a little. She was nervous about labor. She was even more nervous that Mike wouldn't get there in time. There was no telling when her water would break and even less telling if Mike would be anywhere near._

"_I promise I'll be there…" Mike said, knowing he would do anything to get to the hospital as fast as he could. _

_Dr. Stewart had offered a scheduled c-section so that Mike could absolutely be there, but both of them declined it. A surgery that intense scared them both. They'd much rather Abbie come on her own._

"_I'll really need you there… This won't be one of those times that I brush you off and say that I'm find on my own…" Hannah admitted, looking a little scared._

_He nodded. "I know… That's why it's even more important that I'm there. Once you start getting contractions, I'll be on my way. Even if you'll be in labor for another 16 hours, I'll get there as soon as I can… Just call…"_

_She smirked. "I definitely will… Thank you for everything… I love you, Mike."_

_He grinned, kissing her. "Well now, I'll definitely be there… I love you, too, Hannah."_

_He couldn't believe she'd finally said it. He'd almost just given up and chalked it up to the fact that maybe she'd never say it. _

_Mike pulled her close, hands sliding around her waist, tucking her head under his chin, feeling Abbie kicking against him. He now had everything._

* * *

"Seth called earlier," Hannah said, setting the table, "He's coming in to town and wants to do dinner with us this week."

Mike nodded, smiling at Abbie in his lap. "Okay… sounds good."

"Your mom sent us another box of clothes and toys for Abbie," Hannah said, smiling and rolling her eyes.

Mike chuckled. "Again? Didn't she send one last week?"

Hannah nodded, setting the salad on the table. "I sent her more pictures and videos of Abbie, that's why."

He smiled. His mom was crazy about Hannah and had taken the news that she was pregnant better than either had thought. She'd been as thrilled as Dave had. And then once Abbie was born, she was sending them presents and things for her new granddaughter almost every other week.

Hannah dried her hands off with a towel and kissed Mike, Abbie's arms already outstretched towards her mother. "Up."

She took Abbie and put her on her hip and Mike smiled, watching them grab the last few things for dinner. He loved coming home to them every day.

Hannah sat Abbie in her lap at the table and fixed her golden brown hair, putting it in a ponytail. Mike took his seat at the other end of the table and started loading their plates with pasta and salad.

"No sketti, Daddy!" Abbie whined and Mike frowned.

Hannah shrugged, feeling Abbie's forehead. "Her teacher at daycare said she wasn't feeling well today. She had some crackers earlier. She'll eat when she's hungry."

Mike watched Abbie curl up in Hannah's lap, hiding her face and sniffling. He finished dishing up their food and passed Hannah her plate, watching Abbie take a peek at it.

"How's Ryan?" Hannah asked, eating her dinner.

Mike nodded. "Good… Still working hard… but good… He's actually seeing Claire now…"

Hannah grinned. "Really?"

She learned that Claire was alive almost three years ago. Mike hadn't wanted to tell her, but it'd all come out anyways. Ryan wanted to be with her desperately, but Claire wanted Joe dead more than that.

They'd still had feelings for each other, but hadn't pursued anything, saying that their time was done. Ryan had, however, seen her a few times here and there… but Mike was happy to hear that he wasn't hiding it anymore. They were actually becoming something like a couple again.

"Good for them," Hannah smiled.

They finished dinner, which Abbie had a bite of, and they started their nightly routine.

Every night after dinner, they traded chores. One would take Abbie for her bath and get her ready for bed while the other cleaned up and did the dishes. Tonight, Mike was on bath duty and Hannah was cleaning.

He got up and scooped Abbie up from Hannah's lap, her already tired body conforming to his shoulder.

Hannah smiled and started on dishes as he winked to her from the hallway. She loved how much Mike helped her at home. He was a wonderful partner to her and an even better father to Abbie.

She could hear Mike and Abbie talking as she had her bath, telling him all about her day and her friends.

"I wrote my name on my paper!" Abbie boasted.

Hannah could hear Mike laugh. "Yeah? What is your name?"

"Abigail Emernon Weston," Abbie replied confidently.

"Abigail _Emerson_ Weston," Mike corrected her, "Emerson."

"Emerwon," Abbie tried. Hannah could almost see Mike shake his head. She'd get it one day.

She finished cleaning the kitchen and packed Abbie's lunch for daycare for the next day, tucking it away in the fridge and turning off the kitchen lights.

In Abbie's room, she sat in Mike's lap while he wrangled a hair brush, trying to brush his daughter's hair into a ponytail. Her hair was like Hannah's. If they didn't put it up at night, it'd be wild by the morning.

Hannah leaned against the doorframe smiling. "You all right there, boy scout?"

Mike smiled, snapping the hair tie in place. "I'm getting better at this… Okay, munckin, bed time."

He tucked her into bed and handed her her favorite stuffed pony, incidentally a present from Ryan from when she was born.

Mike leaned down and gave her a kiss and a hug, loving the feeling of her tiny arms wrapped around his neck.

"Love you, daddy."

Hannah smiled, going to Abbie's bed for her turn. "Love ya, kiddo. See you in the morning."

"Nightlight?" Abbie asked, looking over at it.

Hannah turned it on, kissing Abbie on the forehead one more time. "Do I ever forget?"

Abbie grinned and shook her head. "Love you, Mommy."

Hannah made sure she was tucked in tight and closed the door almost all the way behind her. Abbie didn't like doors being closed all the way so they always left it a little bit open for her.

Mike was waiting for her in the hallway, kissing her. "She's getting too big."

She laughed. "You're telling me! Seems like she was just born yesterday!"

He smiled, hands on her hips. "Don't you ever think about having another?"

Hannah rolled her eyes, smiling. "Didn't we agree we'd have a small family?"

Mike shrugged. "Yeah… But it'd be nice to see you pregnant again… and have a newborn in the house…"

She smiled. "Abbie's so perfect… our next kid would raise hell."

Mike laughed. "Probably. Maybe we should just quite while we're ahead."

Hannah grinned. "I already have everything I could ever want."

He kissed her nose. "Me, too."

It was true. He had everything he could ever want.

Her hand slipped into his, the cold metal of his wedding band against her skin. They'd gotten married when Abbie was nine months old. Just a little ceremony, with their family and friends.

Mike had been so happy. Hannah was finally his, completely and legally. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. He was so in love with Hannah and Abbie was his whole world. He loved his family more than anything.

All that Hannah had done for him and all that he'd done for her… And then Abbie… He loved Hannah so much more because of their daughter. He loved how well she took care of her. She'd been so worried that she wouldn't bond to their baby or that she wouldn't be a good mother. But the second she set eyes on Abbie, her fears were laid to rest. She was completely in love with her, almost not willing to give her up and let Mike hold her.

Mike kissed her gently, holding her to him. "I love you both so much."

She smiled. "I love you, too… and Abbie definitely does. You're turning her into a daddy's girl."

He grinned. "I love being her dad. Making her a daddy's girl was always the plan."

Hannah smirked, tugging his hand. "Shower?"

Mike glanced back at Abbie's room to make sure she was still sleeping. "You don't have to ask me twice."

* * *

Thank you, all, for partaking in this journey! I hope you've enjoyed this story! I know some of you may be disappointed that this has ended, but when one door closes, another one opens. Happy reading to you all and thank you for following!


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